Sansa got more puppy shots yesterday. She did not like it. The box of wormer looks as though it’s positioned for product placement, I can assure you that is purely coincidental (pay me if you want, though, Novartis!)
Charles M. Blow in the New York Times emphasizes a particular aspect of Tamir Rice’s murder:
Not only is the shooting itself disturbing, but the failure to render aid is unconscionable. And this didn’t just happen in Tamir’s case. The same apathy about the immediate administration of care is echoed in other cases where black boys and men lay dying.
Stacey Patton on why she doesn’t want to write about Tamir Rice:
An editor emailed me just a few minutes ago to ask if I’d write a 1200-word reaction to the Tamir Rice decision. I said no.
I’m tired of explaining the same racist shit over and over again knowing that more of us are going to die a death-by-scared cop. Tired of reaching into the archives to show historical precedence for the current remixed ideologies and 400-year-old sadism.
Sometimes I feel like being able to explain this madness gets coopted into the racial spectacle: Kill another black person. People get angry and march. Watch the funeral on TV. No indictment. More anger and marching.
“Let’s find a negro academic or journalist or culture critic who can help us decipher all this inelegant rage because we are totally ignorant about structural racism and the psychosis of white supremacy. We’re colorblind after all. Oh, isn’t she so articulate? We got 400,000 hits on that piece. Here’s $300, we hope you’ll write for us again…. the next time one of you blacks gets killed.”
The Guardian‘s writers and readers on the best book they read in 2015. Eater’s best features of 2015.
Canada’s first-ever First Nations person has been awarded a Rhodes Scholarship (this is from November, but I just saw it today):
Belcourt comes from the small reserve community of the Driftpile First Nation, north of Edmonton.
“I was raised by my grandparents in a single-income home, in a small hamlet of about 100 people and my high school graduating class only had about 22 people.”
At Oxford, Belcourt plans to research how colonialism has contributed to increased rates of HIV in Canada’s indigenous populations, and how feminist theory can be used to respond to violence against indigenous people.
Back off, mother-in-law:
Q. Genealogy and abuse in my past: My mother-in-law recently took up genealogy and has paid for the privilege of compiling a family tree on an ancestry website. She is now asking me for my personal information to place on this website, including my exact birthdate and place of birth. She is aware that due to a history of abuse in my family, I don’t use social media of any kind—we have argued over her placing pictures of my kids on social media. I’m also not completely comfortable compiling a resource that links me to some of the members of my family, some of whom are still serving time for the abuse I mentioned, that my mother-in-law wants to share with my young kids. I’m also particularly against providing my parents’ personal information without their permission, as they have similar viewpoints to me. My husband wants me to cough up the information to avoid a major conflict.
I have not watched Making a Murderer on Netflix yet, but I am sure I will get extremely engaged when I do, thoughts?
Since this is our last link roundup of 2015, and I am a human, I would now like to hear about your New Year’s resolutions, if you have made any! If you have an elaborate monologue about how you attempt to live moderately and well year-round, and have no need for such a system, I am very happy for you, and would ask to to refrain from harshing my mellow at this time.
My New Year’s Resolutions for 2016 (apart from more private religious and weight-lifting related ones that I will not burden you with):
- Waste less food (no more letting things die in the crisper! better planning!)
- BOOK EMBARGO UNTIL I HAVE READ ALL THE BOOKS I ALREADY OWN (exception for books-by-friends-and-enemies, obvi)
The Awl’s collection of end-of-year essays is always great, 2015 is no exception, and Emma Carmichael’s was incredible:
I talked about it in the weeks following, as friends came to visit. “Want to hear what I remember?” I’d ask. I was prepared, even if my audience was not. For a while, I found comfort in re-telling it, and even in seeing their horror. I couldn’t remember much, but I could tell you about where we’d been standing, and just how it looked when my vision mercifully faded black as I went into shock. Telling it, more than the rods protruding from my body—four down my left leg, one in each hip—was proof that it had happened. It all felt like a dream, so the story mattered.
At dinner not too long ago, I found myself using salt and pepper shakers to show where the cars had been, a fork to show the side of the bridge. See? And then, after a long look: Is this weird? Another time, meeting with a new physical therapist, I found I had to stifle laughter mid-story as her face shifted from interested to frightened. It’s not that it was funny, it’s just that I didn’t know what I could say to comfort her—and yet I knew that part was up to me, too.
I keep thinking of the Onion article: "Man Brings Lunch From Home to Cut Down on Small Joys".
(I have the same problem, but buying prepared foods at Wegmans. They're just so much better at everything than I am!)
My #1 thing is also to spend less money on prepared food and cook more at home.
I used to LOVE cooking, but my job has been super-stressful and demanding this year, and I just don't feel like doing it most of the time. (I buy a lot of ready-to-eat things from Wegmans and Trader Joe's).
I think there are a fair number of studies backing that up (i.e., that people generally are more averse to parting with cash than using a credit card, because the card transaction doesn't feel like "real" money).
I need to do that more! I tried it earlier this year, but fell off the wagon.
It's a nice thing to do for small businesses, too, because they typically have to pay a fee for every card transaction.
That's rough. I'm currently a post-doc and my supervisor is not around much (he's head of various things so often at meetings or in other cities) and even when he is he can't keep track of where various projects are, so communication with him is nearly non-existent. The other post-docs and I basically rely on each other to try to stay on track and sometimes go to other PIs, but I think it's a lot tougher as a PhD student (one in our group did just finish successfully though, so it's doable. We have another student that we are trying to help graduate on time, but I think we might be getting into a too many cooks situation there). I agree with making a plan with the experiments you think you need to finish and talking to your committee members to make sure it's feasible (ideally without upsetting your current boss when you have to say you don't think you should do something extra outside the plan or making them feel like you are bypassing them for other committee members). Some schools also have a "mentorship" program where you can talk to a professor outside your department.
But otherwise I would say that it sounds like you're doing a great job. If you are still managing to do experiments while writing grants (which is not really your job imo, but labs do things differently and funding bubble and so on) then it sounds like you are putting in the work and you will finish.
One of the stumbling blocks for me finishing (and my PhD supervisor was more helpful than yours seems to be) was just the impostor syndrome/uncertainty of what I would be doing afterward making it tough to write, but the knowledge that I should be writing or doing last-minute experiments making me feel like I couldn't do other fun things. I can't say I dealt with this all that well – in summer I had a scheduled weekly Frisbee game that was a good non-work thing, but in winter I didn't have anything scheduled and I think I veered a bit close to depression – so I guess all that I can say advice-wise is that that's normal and it's awful that your boss is unhelpful, but you will finish and you will finish even if you take a bit of time to have fun.
I do not like to say I resolve, but there is a layer of dust and grime I should get rid of. Last year I thought I would just clear up the clutter, but only managed a countertop or two. Don't worry, I am not a hoarder, or Grey Gardens, just someone who hates to vaccuum and dust and has a lot more stuff just sitting around than she should. When I am back on my feet financially I intend to hire someone to come in. I am great at keeping me and my wardrobe clean, food that comes out of my kitchen will not kill anyone, I am just a terrible housekeeper.
And actually, I intend to try and do some dusting and wiping down tomorrow. 2016!!
We recently did a six day road trip from London to the Loire and Bordeaux, heading back via Amiens cathedral. It was great, if a lot of driving, and not long enough in either place. If you like castles, the Loire valley is great, and you could easily spend a week there, with chateaux, cathedrals, vineyards, walking and maybe a trip to Futuroscope. Theme wise, you could go historical – Joan of Arc & the Hundred Years' War, or Catherine de Medici, with a side of Leonardo da Vinci.
If you're in the Bordeaux region, St Emilion is worth a visit – I recommend the underground tour, which takes you into a church carved out of a cliff in the 12th century.
I can't think of any contemporary books to build a trip around, but a few reading suggestions:
– The Loveliest Chocolate Shop in Paris. An English girl is sent to work in a chocolate shop in Paris and learns about food and life, paralleled by her mentor's experience in Paris a generation before. Good, and mouthwatering, but tissues required.
– Chocolat – a new chocolate shop stirs up village life; I've only seen the film.
– The House of Shattered Wings, set in a post-apocalyptic Paris (approx contemporary, set after a war between Houses of fallen angels);
– the Asterix books (for a roman theme?);
– the Little Prince (not set in France, but a classic);
– Nine Coaches Waiting, Madam, Will You Talk and Thunder on the Right are gothics set in France with English protags, but I don't remember how French they feel;
– Maigret is the classic French detective, but I haven't read the series
Thanks for the tips! I probably won't be going this year, unless the in-laws decide to make a trip in which case that would be hard to miss. I was inspired this holiday season though, because I think I am maybe ready to think about having kids (haha, obviously not quite yet from that phrasing, but "maybe someday" is closer than I ever thought I'd be, so it's still a step forward) and would like my hypothetical children to be, if not bilingual like their cousins, at least comfortable speaking. So I'm giving myself some prep time.
*crickets*
I don't typically do resolutions but I have two this year:
1. Take one picture of myself a day.
This is the latest in a multi-year project to just f**cking get used to myself. Years ago I stopped wearing makeup and straitening my (naturally curly) hair. I didn't like the buying or the applying of make-up or wrestling with my hair . I was clearly doing it because I felt I needed to present myself in a certain way to others. I do NOT miss it at all. And about a year ago I shaved my head. It was awesome and freeing. I think my family thought I was having a mild and largely hair-based breakdown but I loved it and I may just do it again someday. This years goal is along those same lines. I'm tired of being the person who grimaces every time someone wants to take a group picture because I dread seeing the result posted somewhere, and inevitably thinking something ridiculous like "oh God, my nostrils look really big." So, I'm going for exposure therapy. I will learn to be kinder to myself, come hell or high water.
2. Address my candy issues
This….. will be harder. I am not aiming to lose weight or cut out all sugary things. But I have a real issue with eating too much candy. I eat a lot (A LOT) of candy and sweets. I crave it and get anxious if there is no candy in the house. I eat it out of need and don't even really enjoy it so much anymore. I end up feeling bloated and queasy afterwards but I can't seem to stop. So my current plan is to not buy it for myself. I may eat it in the wild (like, if it's someones birthday or a friend makes dessert, etc..) but I am not going to bring it home. I feel like that is a good(ish) start.