Sansa and my daughter like to take turns sitting on each other to watch TV. Also, my daughter said “Sansa and I love each other” yesterday morning.
Suicide bombing kills at least 10 people in Istanbul’s Sultanahmet district
Friend of The Toast Jamelle Bouie on why Paul LePage is a proto-Trump, and where his support originates from:
When we talk about the decline of the white working class—and in particular, the dramatic spike in alcoholism, addiction, and premature death among young and middle-aged working-class white men—we’re talking about states such as Maine, where slow growth and isolation have bred struggling towns where many rely on public assistance. These people—as we’ve seen in West Virginia and similar parts of Kentucky, Pennsylvania, and other states—don’t vote. And to that point, 55 percent of nonvoters are white, 51 percent are men, 54 percent are between 30 and 64 years old, and 46 percent make less than $30,000 a year. They are estranged from the political system.
LOJ: There’s a lot of famous people who come. And I’m not going to necessarily claw over people to get to them, but every now and again there’s somebody who, it’s like, I need to make my way to that person. Remember when LeVar [Burton] came? It was a big deal for Chris.
CJ: I felt like my insides were going to come out. [Table laughs.] It’s not about being famous. It’s about connection. And that connection was just so real.
JCJ: And it’s not only that, it’s also that we’ve just performed for them for almost three hours. It’s not like we’re just randomly meeting these people.
REG: The blessing for us, when we get to meet some of these people for the first time, it skips several steps in the meeting. Immediately there’s an intimacy because you’ve watched us on a beautiful journey for three hours. We can actually have a conversation — and these are people who usually have to keep their guard up. It’s really a sacred moment.
ANOTHER Friend of The Toast, Lyz Lenz, on growing up in an environment of white paranoia:
I was raised Evangelical in Texas, in the shadow of white paranoia. “Don’t tell anyone you are homeschooled,” my parents told us after Waco. “Tell them you go to private school. Only play in the backyard during the day. Never answer the door if mom isn’t home, even if it’s the police. Especially if it’s the police.”
Newsletters came to us from the Home School Legal Defense, recounting horror stories of parents separated from their children for exercising the right to educate them at home. Stories trickled down at church about abuses of justice—government overreach into the lives of good Christians, living their lives by faith. Once, my sister’s friend showed us how the letters in Hillary Clinton could work out to 666. (According to the numerology, Hillary (248) + Rodham (249) + Clinton (169) = number of the beast.) The Bible and the Constitution were spoken in the same breath. We lived on the edge of an apocalypse. Every moment was the end. With every breath we were fighting a battle against a Godless state. Our very lives as Christians were a protest.
We moved seamlessly between destiny and agency. As white, middle-class Americans, it never occurred to us that it could be different, that our perceived persecution was in another sense chosen. No sympathy was allotted to others who were persecuted for their race or sexuality—or for any other religion besides the right one: ours. It took me years to realize we never were in any danger.
Brian Lehrer did a segment on Nikki’s piece!
Carrie Frye shared this incredible older piece from Lapham’s Quarterly, and I DEVOURED IT:
Through the door could be heard furious clacking and carriage returns: the sound, in fact, of an eight-year-old girl writing her first novel.
In 1923, typewriters were hardly a child’s plaything, but to those following the family of critic and editor Wilson Follett, it was a grand educational experiment. He’d already written of his daughter Barbara in Harper’s, describing a girl who by the age of three was consumed with letters and words. “She was always seeing A’s in the gables of houses and H’s in football goalposts,” he recalled. One day she’d wandered into Wilson’s office and discovered his typewriter.
“Tell me a story about it,” she demanded.
WELL, that’s one way to be a boss:
The Daily Telegraph has installed devices to monitor whether journalists are at their desks, BuzzFeed News has learned.
The newspaper confirmed the move in email to staff after multiple employees said that they had come into work on Monday morning to find small plastic monitoring boxes attached to their desks.
Journalists were baffled by the unannounced appearance of the boxes. Staff resorted to googling the brand name and discovered they were wireless motion detectors produced by a company called OccupEye which monitor whether individuals are using their desks.
Chris Hughes is selling The New Republic (and chose to write about it on Medium instead of his own. damn. site., so):
Chris Hughes, a co-founder of Facebook who purchased a majority stake in the struggling title in 2012, said in a staff memo Monday that he had underestimated “the difficulty of transitioning an old and traditional institution into a digital media company in today’s quickly evolving climate,” and would seek to find a new owner.
“After investing a great deal of time, energy, and over $20 million, I have come to the conclusion that it is time for new leadership and vision at The New Republic,” the memo read. “Although I do not have the silver bullet, a new owner should have the vision and commitment to carry on the traditions that make this place unique and give it a new mandate for a new century.”
The Morning News has compiled their longlist for the new Tournament of Books! It reminded me that I do not read NEARLY enough contemporary fiction, which shames me to admit.
As an artist living in Russia, do you feel that your art—your brushes, your paints, your canvas—are constantly at risk of being taken from you?
Until the age of nine I had nothing—just one ancient dress. I went hungry, ran around barefoot from April to October, even begged. We were a family of “Enemies of the People.” That was what they called those who had been accused of political crimes and sent to the camps. Three of my relatives had been accused of spying for the Japanese, and were executed. Later, my great-grandfather was assassinated in the middle of Moscow, pushed under a car. I didn’t have toys and had only one crayon, purple. I found a piece of cardboard and made a purple horse with a purple eye. It seemed too skinny, so I wrapped a rag around its middle and played with it. In the street, I always picked up bits of brick, limestone, and charcoal, and drew on the pavement with those three colors: red, white, and black. Since then I have always valued painting tools: brushes, paints, quality paper. I paint with watercolors—flowers and portraits.
As you know, Mallory and I are at Cornell on April 7th for a Shop Talk. I will be staying at the Statler Hotel for two nights (the 6th and the 7th), and on the night of the 6th I will pick a time to be at the Regent Lounge to meet Ithaca Toasties and do my legendary tipsy-pushups for you. How many of you might attend, do you think? Email me if you don’t have a commenting account! Mallory could quite possibly be present, but I will not speak for her.
I will probably not have another opportunity to hang with Toasties for a while (the puppy, the children!) but am planning a very brief NYC trip for the fall, because I want to see you! I anticipate we will need a larger space than last time.
Donald Trump is wrong about literally everything all the time:
So I’m watching the game yesterday. What used to be considered a great tackle, a violent, head-on, violent. If that was done by Dick Butkus, they’d say he’s the greatest player… if that was done by Lawrence Taylor, it WAS done by Lawrence Taylor and Dick Butkus!…and Ray Nitschke, right? You used to see these tackles, and it was incredible to watch. Now they [effeminate voice] tackle.. head on head collision… fifteen yard penalty. The whole game is all screwed up!
I had never watched the video for “Grown Woman,” and Mallory fixed that:
Just woke up to see the Istanbul news, if someone can link! (On phone)
The BBC has a story on it here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-35290760
I don’t have any news about Istanbul, but I was reminded that I’ve been meaning to email you about Assad’s sieges in Syria. Actual “we will literally starve you to death” sieges. They’re eating grass in besieged cities. People have started to die from hunger.
My links are a couple of days old, the supply mission they’re talking about is supposed to have reached Madaya yesterday I think, but I haven’t had time to check the news yet.
Content note: a few pictures of very skinny people, including children. Not horribly graphic, but you can tell that they’re underweight. Heartbreaking quotes.
BBC: http://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-3525501…
CNN quotes activists and desperate people: http://edition.cnn.com/2016/01/07/middleeast/syri…
The Guardian interviews civilians in Madaya: http://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/jan/06/resi…
I think the supply mission has indeed reached Madaya now, which is very good news, but obviously the underlying problem is very much still there. It’s horrifying.
EDIT: http://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/jan/11/aid-…
Yeah, both because you do NOT cure longtime starvation with one single mission (they’ve been under siege since August, their last resupply was in October) and because there are more besieged cities. Sadly, Madaya is only the face of the problem, and they’ve had to fight like hell to be heard. I’m doing everything I can (=telling everyone on the Internet) to spread the word. Their Twitters are out of this world, it’s just so awful. And well-fed IS-supporting assholes keep tweeting them pictures of their dinners…
The EU and the UN must make him break the sieges. This is a war crime. The Geneva convention forbids starving civilians as a strategy of war. I feel like his position actually gets stronger now that he’s allowed them to resupply, because the point can’t be solely to starve them, the real point has to be that he affirms his power by being the man who controls the tap. Opening the food tap is just as controlling as shutting it off, right? So the real goal should probably not be that he feeds his population, it should be that he doesn’t even have the option of denying them food? I have no idea if that’s even possible but the international community has got to try 🙁
That Hamilton interview is part of what’s going to be an entire week of special Hamilton coverage on Vulture.
There’s a reference to it in today’s Hamilton Week post, and I can’t find the answer anywhere: Does anyone know where the bit of melody from Les Mis is in the soundtrack?
I just scrolled through all of LMM’s Twitter back to Sept. 25 to find it. It’s in Your Obedient Servant, apparently.
http://twitter.com/Lin_Manuel/status/647478425448…
from NYT: Suicide bomber kills at least 10 in Sultanahmet district in Istanbul (I added link in the roundup, Nicole)
Thank you!
I have read not a single one of the books in that Book Tournament, though I keep meaning to get to The Sellout and The Buried Giant. This is what happens when your reading choices shift almost entirely to romance novels, fanfic, and non-fiction.
Also I almost died from joy/cute when Daveed Diggs admitted he pretty much lost it when MC Hammer came back. I LOVE EVERYONE IN THAT CAST SO. DAMN. MUCH.
LAST OBAMA STATE OF THE UNION TONIGHT HOLY SHIIIIIIT.
I’ve read 6, including those two – they were both great, but both very difficult in their own ways. Gotta have that easy read queued up like a sort of book dessert.
I’m usually not a SOTU watcher but dang it I am going to watch and probably cry. If at some point he hugs a small child on his way in or out of the room I will definitely cry. God damn I am going to miss this man, but I also can’t wait to see what he does next. He’s gonna be just a fantastic ex-president, isn’t he?
I’ve read exactly one of those books, but I liked it! (How to Start a Fire)
Me: Oh! I read a lot of books in 2015
-goes through the list-
Me: Okay I read a lot of Terry Pratchett and books from 2014 in 2015
I did fit in seven of the listed books! Kitchens of the Great Midwest was one of my favorite books that I read last year, although I’m not sure how much of it was objective and how much was nostalgia for my home region
As long as your reading list had lots of Terry Pratchett on it, you’re fine. (Note: there is no year where this is not true, and there will never be a year where this is not true.) Also: interesting thoughts on Pratchett I read yesterday about how the Discworld grew and changed as he evolved as a writer.
Thanks for the link!
Are you me? I also am behind on all fiction reading because all I’ve read is romance novels, fanfics, and graphic novels. I have approximately 2 billion nonfiction books out from the library but reading Chernow broke me and I’ve been struggling to get through more than a chapter at a time of any other nonfiction without falling asleep. So now it’s podcasts until I can figure this reading slump out.
edited for clarification, I haven’t had my coffee yet today
Only read four of the listed books, but I now have a LOT more on my library “for later” list.
I’ve read four – the Judy Blume, Elena Ferrante, Toni Morrison, and Seveneves, by Neal Stephenson. I’m also reading a ton of fanfic these days, and articles, and not enough books, fiction OR nonfiction. I should really set some book-reading goals in my life…
Heartfelt vote for DELICIOUS FOODS, though it isn’t an easy read. Well worth it, though. (And now I’ve been reminded that Saint Mazie has been on my radar for a while and I will get it at once.)
Also – an excellent audiobook – Hannaham narrated it himself, and did a more-than-usually-good-author-as-narrator job.
That’s one of my favorites of 2015 & I hope it makes the shortlist. (Tomorrow we’ll know! I’m so excited!)
Saint Mazie is fun.
I read Judy Blume and Elena Ferrante, but I did not know that Ann Beattie had a new book of stories last year, so I just checked that out of the library. She has been one of my favorite writers for over 30 years.
I’ve read three but LOVED them all (the new Elena Ferrante, the new Toni Morrison and Fates & Furies) so maybe I should read all the rest. (except Franzen lolll)
*heart palpitations* I cannot contain my excitement about the opportunity to see Mallory and Nicole IN THE FLESH. There is a reason I chose to go to this god-forsaken freezing miserable university.
I will be at Cornell in April (and my sister may roadtrip up for the occasion)!!!!!
Steve went to Cornell for undergrad and hated Ithaca so much he simultaneously applied for junior year abroad AND early graduation, so never went back after sophomore year. They figured it out and tried to withhold his diploma, but he was already in grad school elsewhere so they eventually gave up and mailed it with a snide note.
I can see how terrible Ithaca would be if you’re in your 20s and single or in any way interested in nightlife, but I have to say, as a married 30-something with children and modest ambitions, it was pretty great!
I can say from experience that Ithaca is LOVELY in the summer (and the farmer’s market is delightful) but being there in the winter makes me want to crawl into bed and never emerge
I first visited Ithaca in March because I am a Large Idiot and Native Texan and figured in January since it should be in the 80s come March here it should be at least in the 60s when I visit…. nope. College roommate and best friend got accepted to the grad program at Cornell so I still had a lovely time seeing her but when I consider making the trip to Ithaca to see Toasties (and also my best friend) I will check the weather first. I do not own enough coats.
I did go back last August for my birthday and you’re right, its a gorgeous place! Gimme Coffee is just sooo sooo good.
My husband and I went there in August for a week and we loved it. Museums and hiking and wineries and women’s rights just up the road. Also, the longest yogurt aisle I have ever seen, which prompted me to invent a new phrase, “longer than the yogurt aisle in the Ithaca Wegmans.”
Oh! Snide notes from Cornell, you say? I applied to Cornell for undergrad, partly because my mom was an alum and always spoke so warmly of it. When I got my decision letter, I learned they send out SPECIAL letters to rejectees-who-are-children-of-alumni that say, in effect, “Sorry you didn’t get in even though your family went here.”
Ha, I got a similar letter from Georgetown, but they ALSO sent 2 letters to my dad basically apologizing for rejecting me and asking that he please continue to give them money. Like “remember all those nice Georgetown memories you had before we rejected your daughter, please keep turning those into cold hard donation money!!” He found this incredibly annoying and hasn’t donated to them since. LOL.
I went to undergrad near Ithaca and was constantly going into Ithaca because the city delights me so much AND DID YOU KNOW THEY HAVE A RESTAURANT CALLED WAFFLE FROLIC???
Hopefully I will be moving there this year. Hopefully I will be moving there in time for this event this year! Otherwise I am not sure I will be able to make it.
All my memories of visiting friends at Cornell consist of consuming moderate to massive quantities of drugs (it’s also where I witnessed my first K-hole) so I’ve always equated Ithaca/Cornell with a depressing morning-after crash and burn hellscape. Plus freezing cold and steep hills. And lots and lots of white people with dreads.
I’ll volunteer to risk eternal uncoolness. What’s a K-hole? Is it, like, a bad trip? Of what?
When someone takes too much ketamine (horse tranquilizer) and they slip into a dissociative state. From the outside he was just writhing in the fetal position for a couple hours but I guess inwardly he was on some sort of otherworldly trip!
THAT SOUNDS TERRIFYING D:
It Happened To Me! They gave me ketamine when I broke my leg, and I thought I was a Creamsicle (the orange kind) and told everyone in the room about it in great detail.
white people with dreads are literally my least favorite thing on this holy earth, egads! i recently lived in boulder colorado and it was bad for my blood pressure, probably
I went to the Other Cornell and I am disappoint you will not be appearing in Mount Vernon, Iowa. 🙁
I live in Rochester, but I am tempted to drive to Ithaca for this.
DO IT. I would love to see my upstate Toasties!
as if I needed more reasons to anxiety about a job nearish to Cornell comes through :/
So if you see me there in April, I WILL BE SO HAPPY
I am a Capital District toastie who is very seriously contemplating the three hour drive to Cornell for such a momentous occasion. I really need to know whether Mallory is the seven-foot tall Valkyrie I imagine her to be. But even if she’s just, normal person size, that’s also okay and I’d still be pretty damn excited to see both of you!
Fellow Hamiltoastians, does anyone else wish the narrator were Eliza, rather than Burr? If she’s the one who tells his story… why not have her tell his story?
I get that logic, but at the same time, dramatically, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to have her tell it – Burr as the narrator works so well because he doesn’t really like, trust, or understand Hamilton, so the moments of admiration that sneak out feel more true. Eliza’s on A.Ham’s team almost the whole time, so hearing her tell you about how awesome he is would be kinda draining.
Oh, I totally get the dramatic reasons for having Burr narrate. (It’s also interesting because he’s the main antagonist/frenemy, which sets up a good dynamic.) I just don’t think we’d lose any of the key Burr moments (e.g. Wait For It, Your Obedient Servant, Room Where It Happens) but could gain something interesting and powerful from having Eliza narrate. ngl, part of this is just, while the women certainly have a space in the show, it’s still a side-lined subplot, and I’d like Eliza to be as central as she is in the final few minutes.
I hear you, but: because then you don’t get the reveal at the end of her journey–and she comes SO FAR from “Helpless”–if she’d been telling the story all along, then it wouldn’t have the same tension.
Oh, I *love* her arc, and what Miranda does with making her erasure from history an act of agency. But I think there could be a very different purpose and a different arc with making her central from the start, just as a fact of things. Like, Burr doesn’t lose anything from us knowing his full story from the beginning. I think that’s just as achievable with Eliza. I’d be okay with a different arc if it meant she had a more central role.
Fair enough! I hope some brilliant writer takes up the challenge.
That would be an awesome fanfic, ngl.
i am not the expert that others are, but I think it’s at direct odds with what happens in Burn and Who Lives Who Dies. Eliza is a very important character, but she also has a wish to “erase herself from the narrative” so from a writing perspective it wouldn’t really give her storyline the same gravitas if she were the narrator.
Well it would be a very different musical with Eliza as the narrator, I think. And her arc would either have to be different, or someone would take over narrating a piece of the story at that point, or something. I just don’t have any particular issue with that.
But the dramatic impact is that she TAKES that right away from Burr at the end. Burr’s telling us the story tonight, but the story in HISTORY is the one Eliza’s going to tell.
THAT VIDEO IS THE BEST I AM SO GLAD YOU HAVE NOW SEEN IT.
It got me through a bad depressive episode a year or two ago.
I took a Beyonce music video dance class a few years ago and my favorite dance was the (simplified!) Grown Woman dance. My partner still requests performances occasionally.
GODAMMIT NOOOOO why are you going to Ithaca eight months after I moved?
But I would drive 2.5 hours back for a meetup.
please doooo
Good morning, Toasties,
Extremely early this morning, I had a dream about reading the toast. It was yesterday, and after Liana Finck’s cartoons, we were suddenly given a few bonus articles. One of these articles was titled “Facts About Not-Famous People Named Elisebeth” and I was very excited, because
1. My grandmother was named Elisebeth, and I just knew she was going to be featured, and
2. This article was written by Charlie Potato Hashbrowns.
I WAS SO EXCITED, TOASTS
And then I read the article and the comments. Apparently, Charlie Potato Hashbrowns did a really good job and all of the facts about the Elisebeths were correct.
Except for those about my grandmother. My grandmother did not sound like Ed Wynn, Charlie Potato Hashbrowns. Really?
Thank goodness you’re cute.
That is the Toastiest of dreams.
That is the most adorably specific dream I have ever heard
This is even better than my dream the other day where someone invented a way to turn my cozy warm bed into a shower without me having to even get out from under the covers.
Could someone please actually invent that?
THE DREAM
The tricky part is walls. Even in the dream, I was all, hmm, these are still plaster, it’s going to be hella mildewy in a week.
I am so sorry my potato misrepresented your grandmother. I will have a stern discussion with him about this.
He is so cute that I don’t really care, and find it very funny! But she didn’t sound like Ed Wynn. She sounded like a Proper Lady.
But yes. He is so cute that he can get away with anything in my book, even the infraction that is grandmother misrepresentation.
I am trying raise him as a moral and honest potato that doesn’t just rely on good looks, but I appreciate your generosity.
This dream is utterly delightful, and also Peak Toast – a dream about an article that a) sounds like something that would totally appear on this site IRL b) is at least in part about a beloved female relative/elder and c) is written by another commenter’s adorable, popular dog. Seriously, well done to your subconscious!
This is amazing.
Mr Lass and I watched Lobster last night.
spoilers in responses
My first response is: What. The. Fuck. Am I Watching.
And also – I think I loved it. It was so oddly mannered and formal and so goddamn WEIRD.
I definitely love all the thoughts it has provoked about mandatory couple-dom and reactionary entrenchment to cultural norms and online dating and the search for someone with the same superficial interests or characteristics.
The whole thing about short sightedness! The fake nose bleeds!
And it was funny and brutal and I was NOT OKAY about his brother.
I really love The Lobster. Your response was pretty much mine, except I was pretty instantly into the weirdness.
You can blame me for his brother. All of the movies I like, the dog tends to die (like, violently, not in an Old Yeller way). I had no idea this was going to be one of Those Movies, but I already loved it as I was watching it AND THEN. Sigh.
Okay, putting motion sensors on desks is a new extreme. The job I work at now is state and unionized and we have a rule that they can’t have cameras on people while they work, BUT, at my job before this one years ago, the boss had cameras in every office! It was a security company, and there were cameras everywhere, which connected to a wall of small televisions in the office of the president of the company. He would literally watch them all the time, and if he saw you sitting still/on your phone/looking like you weren’t working, he would CALL YOUR BOSS and ask them why you weren’t working.
I cannot even fully express how incredibly stressful that makes working, that feeling of being constantly monitored. (I mean, on top of that it was a horrible workplace for a myriad of other reasons but yeesh.)
Wow, just reading about that is stressing me out. I’m glad you’re out of there!
Me too! I mean that was just one stressful thing in an absolute horrible workplace, so I’m glad to be out of it just in general, haha. (I mean for example, my boss was one of those “play favorites” types who was super nasty to anyone she didn’t like. She’d also spend hours in her office that didn’t have a camera, playing games on FB. The whole atmosphere of the company was very catty and clique-y, but she was especially bad. She hated me for no good reason, to the point that when a friend of hers got fired in part due to me casually reporting something that became the “last straw” in a series of mistakes, my boss basically stopped talking to me and refused to do anything when her fired friend started making harassing calls to me at work.)
Just working in an open plan office stresses me out; I’m always conscious of people walking behind me, or standing at the printers behind me. I hate the idea that I’m being watched while I work; its the same as that stupid ‘you always have to look busy’ thing when you work service/retail jobs, I fucking hated that.
Same, tbh. I’m in a larger room with several other people at my current job and I still have that occasional discomfort with people behind me/able to see my screen. But we all get along and the atmosphere is much more casual so it doesn’t bother me as much.
I remember that “always looking busy” thing from retail too though, ugh.
The “always looking busy” thing in retail is confusing. Somehow I made it to adulthood without having had a retail gig, but I do occasionally need to buy clothing. And because I was socialized as a girl (and a Midwesterner to boot), I would sooner walk out without the thing I came to purchase than interrupt someone who’s clearly busy.
I hated that aspect of working in retail. That, and having to ask before going to the toilet. I am an adult, and I will pee when I want to pee! >:(
I never asked, I just went when it was quiet. In one of the places I worked it was my job to check the bathrooms anyway so I’d just go in the disabled loo while I was down there (So as to avoid that awkward moment when you walk out of the cubicle and into a customer and they see you in the uniform. Its deeply frowned upon apparently.)
Not asking before peeing was my tiny rebellion against my employer.
One of the life lessons I learned from my dad was “always wee on company time”. (If you wait until your lunch break to go to the loo, that means you are losing out on valuable free time you are entitled to!)
Heaven forfend customers find out that the company employs entities who are living organisms with normal biological processes!
I had a new supervisor transfer into my team from another location at one job. That whole time, everyone had been cheerily ducking away to the bathroom as needed because, y’know, we were adults and the job was counting inventory so not something that couldn’t be set aside easily for two minutes.
His first day, the new supervisor pulls someone aside and chews them out for not asking permission to duck out to the bathroom.
This, to put it mildly, did not endear him to anyone. Seriously, if you can’t trust people to handle their own bathroom breaks in a situation where they don’t affect anyone else’s work, why are you still employing them?
My least favorite of that is the occasional wink-wink-nudge nature of it; as long as you /look/ busy it’ll be fine. But subtlety is not in my nature, so. I just need you to tell me what to do and then let me mess around after I’m done!
NOOOOooooo. I’m a chaos worker – productivity comes in bits and batches, which can be summoned to some degree, but not day in and day out – and even working on a billable hour as a paralegal was the Most. Stressful. Thing.
Same!! It’s very hard for most people to constantly have something to do for 8 hours, 5 days a week! Everyone has down periods, or needs down periods tbh.
It doesn’t surprise me that it’s the Telegraph.
I worked somewhere where the boss would do that, mostly because he didn’t have enough to do. Very stressful.
pres really earning that salary sitting around all day staring at everyone demanding to know why they aren’t looking more productive
Still, I’ll take motion sensor that just checks you’re physically there any day over the many jobs now that monitor every last thing you do on the computers/network.
But it seems like in journalism, especially, there might be whole days where you weren’t at your desk and yet were getting tons done. If you’re out doing research and chasing down leads, you’re presumably not at your desk!
I was going to say…. isn’t being out in the world KIND OF a big part of doing journalism?
I think that’s part of what’s horrifying about it – the idea that most of their staff are now working at desks, presumably checking stuff online and re-writing press releases rather than out and about talking to people.
Also, esp. when anything like this happens in humanities-ish-related places, it’s like, Don’t you read? Have you never read an article in your life about productivity, fear, dictatorships…? Like, your staff has presumably been taught critical thinking skills because of, not in spite of, their education/profession, to know that what you’re doing is terrible? How is this not obvious? Shouldn’t journalists be investigating police states, not participating in them?
I think that if USian worker productivity were really a problem, companies would care more in general about the carrot and not the stick.
True story that not a lot of people don’t seem to know: American mail carriers all have GPS trackers on them. It’s part of the scanning system–they not only scan packages for tracking, but they scan bar codes at specific points throughout the day so that supervisors can track how fast they’re going.
It’s creepy to be at a supervisor’s desk and see the map with all the little points on it of mail carriers.
I have always been sort of fascinated by the story of Barbara Newhall Follett, so reading that piece just made my whole day.
I heard that Brian Lehrer story live! In my car! And I was all, “HEY! I know her!” kind of like in Elf, but in that case the titular elf actually *did* know Santa and I don’t know Nikki (in real life), but you get my meaning.
The discussion reminded me of when I was in high school and my friend Ritu, who is Indian, was on the softball team (she was really good and I was, well, horrible) and the 60-ish white coach could only hear her name as being “Rita” and we laughed every single time he said it and it’s weird now, because was she laughing to diffuse something or because it was legitimately funny? I mean, it was pretty funny how dense he was and so stereotypically old white dude coach, but now I am wondering.
Anyway, I KNOW HER!!! Excited for you, Nikki.
thanks Claudia! I thought the segment was pretty good, overall. Most of the callers were great. I am 10% like “why didn’t you ask me to be on your show then” and 90% “super relieved you didn’t ask me to be on your show.”
He didn’t even ask you, though? I missed the very beginning of it and assumed he had talked about you then. Huh.
I am usually on top of my emails, and no one from the show reached out! It’s fine, and they did a pretty good job moderating and focusing on callers. (The one lady who had a story about a comment about “too many Italians” at her firm kinda made me lol, though. Dan: “someone should tell her that’s basically like saying you don’t like someone’s football team.”)
As someone who lives in Maine, most of us didn’t vote for Paul LePage and would like to be done with him. Also, I have high hopes for Portland as a vibrant, growing city, but I worry that comments like his do more to drive businesses away from our state even more than our not-super-friendly taxes. Sigh. At least we have really good beer to drink.
Also his own personal vendetta against Portland and southern Maine doesn’t help us develop into a city that draws tourists, businesses, and young professionals…
Sigh. At least we have wicked cheap lobster.
Goddammit, I have had one – ONE – friend in my entire life who’s a…I don’t even know what to call them, Mainers? Mainstays? Lotta space there. And somehow he got “wicked” stuck in my head as an intensifier ten years ago and I still say it and then I get weird looks from other midwesterners.
I signed a petition last spring for a law that would create a runoff election in the case where no one wins the governorship by a majority. I really, really hope that comes to pass. We need elected officials who are actually chosen by the majority and not elected because half a million candidates are running and splitting the vote in crazy ways.
I spent do much time during that election cycle explaining the concept of runoff elections to people, and everyone’s reaction was basically, “Yeah, that makes all the sense, why DON’T we do that?”
Still mad at Eliot Cutler, btw.
Yes, I’m pumped for rank-choice voting. It’s going to be on the ballot in November! Between that, legalization and the presidential race I hope we’ll get a good turnout at the polls this year.
My cousin lives in Portland and she loves it. We went to Migis for her wedding, it was great.
Its definitely worth engaging with why people outside the Portland bubble like him though…we can try to wish him away, but the forces that created him are going to stay around for a while. I thought this was the most interesting bit of the article “The people who vote are their immediate peers, the teachers, police officers, small business owners, and city employees who hold the closest thing to middle-class jobs in these depressed areas. And they vote for Republicans. Not because they’re somehow distracted by social issues, but because—as Alec MacGillis argues for the New York Times—they see assistance going to the “undeserving benefit-recipients who live nearby.””
Yes, that was an interesting bit. The recent comments really got under my skin for a lot of reasons, not the least of which was that they seemed (to me) like a calculated smoke screen to distract from the actual problem at hand – it’s a lot easier to be angry about outsiders and benefits recipients than it is to deal with the very real cycle of poverty and addiction. How can we instill compassion rather then get caught up in this kind of divisiveness? Get rid of the attitude that the enemies are those worse of than ourselves? Meanwhile, treatment facilities are closing or turning away those in need because they don’t have enough beds or funds… I don’t have the answer, but I wish I did.
I just wanted to mention that your photo has induced a cute overdose semi-coma in me. I may need leeches to restore me to normalcy.
I wanted my team to win the sportsball game 🙁
oh but at least your team put up a good sportsball struggle!
mine got shut out by the same team
Thank you! They did okay. Damn that other sportsball team.
I’m a fan of the sportsball team your sportsball team beat in the hurricane. I was cheering for you. Sauron’s just…he’s just too good and I want him to go away.
The Turner House was excellent to the point I convinced my library book club to read it. I haven’t read nor heard of any of the rest of the books, but I’ll probably try a couple of them once the list gets narrowed down.
I started reading The Turner House, but couldn’t get into it. Tbf, I don’t think it had anything to do with the book itself, I just wasn’t in the right “mood” for it, if that makes sense.
that makes sense, I LOVED it but the love kinda sneaked up on me at some point in the middle.
loved that book! Read almost the whole thing during one very slow shift at my store over the holidays. Sorry/not sorry to any customers I may have hustled out the door so I could get back to it.
oh wait I have heard of some of the other books, but not a lot of them. I am not that out of the loop. I was pleasantly surprised to see a few SFF books on the list.
Off-topic, can anyone recommend a forum or discussion group for people who are trying to conceive but are also allergic to twee TTC acronyms? I swear I will punch my computer if I read another comment about BD-ing (BABY DANCING, yes seriously), which isn’t good for anyone.
I have never found one! But I LOVEEEEEE interpreting charts, so you are super welcome to email me yours and I can be all GIRL you actually ovulated on Day 24, the software has jacked you up, test tomorrow, etc. I am REALLY GOOD AT IT.
Q: what is the better software for these purposes?
I haven’t even started charting yet because I don’t understand how! Seconding Aravis’s request for a software rec.
Or you can contact me, alternately, we can chat about this ALL DAMN DAY
hurrah! will email you when I get home from work
I always use Fertility Friend, which is really solid, and has good online forums! By “always” I mean I have gotten pregnant the first month both times I used it (also Taking Charge Of Your Fertility) but then stuck around for months interpreting charts and telling women to have sex on different days. I FUCKING LOVE FERTILITY SHIT.
I may switch over to FF from ovagraph because why not, I suppose!
I too use FF, and have like a 1.25 month average conception rate. It IS really good, and I have a crazy cycle – like anywhere from 26-48 days. It’s very scientific and you can filter other people’s charts and look for patterns similar to your own. It’s a good time.
Is it only for people who are trying to conceive? I have a weird cycle and I’d just like to get a better handle on it/look for patterns in other peoples’ charts.
Nope. it’s really useful either way, I think.
I don’t believe so – I may not be remembering this correctly but I think you can configure it for fertility awareness rather than conception, so it’ll tell you about fertile days and such but more in a “be careful” way, ha.
If you just want to track your period, there’s an app called Clue that’s fantastic. Very easy to use, clear and attractive visual design, lets you track period heaviness and lots of symptoms and can notify you a couple days before your period is due.
You can read other women’s graphs?!! that sounds so cool.
Yes! And it’s not creepy – you can choose to submit your chart anonymously or keep your data private, whatever you choose.
(Hey, I don’t mean to be insensitive to what you’re going through. Just remembered the open thread from the other day and I’m concerned my message came off like some kind of weird brag – my issue is I conceive pretty easily but have yet to keep a pregnancy going to term so UNFORTUNATELY have gotten a lot of use out of my paid FF account. Lolsob, mostly sob.)
Damn, I’m sorry. That’s the worst.
One of the things about this whole process is learning what a moving target “the worst” is. It’s very odd, and I’ve been feeling pretty at peace with it all of late. But thank you for your kind words.
True enough. There are all kinds of ways for this process to suck.
Would you add me to the google group, please? edited email out.
omg, help, I just started reading Taking Charge b/c we’re thinking about having kids eventually and the idea of charting makes me want to curl up in a ball and weep. Is Fertility Friend the kind of thing where I can just put in information and someone else will tell me what it means?
YES yes it is.
oh thank goodness
Nicole, the absence of ANY non-twee/grounded in science and reality/using decent punctuation and grammar TTC/pregnancy/parenting internet sites is a giant, sad, frustrating gap! Please, you are an internet entrepreneur! Fill this market void! I am about to spend ridiculous amounts of money on car seats and strollers and books about brain development, all of which I would happily click on ads for on such a site. I would even pay many dollars for a subscription.
(I would pay premium for an area where the anti-vaxers are banned.)
I keep meaning to start a google group for Toastrons trying to conceive, having issues conceiving, those with complicated or difficult experiences and/or feelings about pregnancy in general, but have yet to do so. It might be an ok stop gap, until the time of a Toast-fertility-related vertical, perhaps? Anti-vaxers 100% banned.
do it!!
The problem is multifold: I am terrible at follow through and don’t want to be in charge of anything. I can’t think of a name that walks the line between cleverness and offensiveness!* Will this be too trigger-y, for myself or others? Etc etc etc.
*Toast on Eggs! Is that too flippant and am I going to hell. EDIT: I LOVE IT AM MAKING GROUP NOW.
Oh my God, a sane, science-minded, accepting, queer and feminist friendly parenting/conception site made with Toasty Thoughtfulness would be SO GREAT. It could be called… Crumbles?? Breakfast rolls? Bun in the Oven? Small Bread-Related Thingies?
/not a parent (yet??) but kinda thinking about eventually starting to consider it
This is genius. I am officially out of the manufacture and delivery of humans business, but this is a real world, unmet need! And a strict no anti-vaxer policy is damn brilliant.
Best wishes to all those trying to conceive. It is just demoralizing when that takes a long time.
And queer friendly! SO MUCH HETERONORMATIVITY, EVERYWHERE.
Can you teach me when to have sex if I’m trying to have a girl? Is this a thing or a myth?
According to a very, very vaguely remembered Roald Dahl story, isn’t it mostly a question of standing in the right direction?
(how i was ever allowed to read this as a youth remains a mystery)
ETA: Yep.
There’s a chapter on it in Taking Charge of Your Fertility, which is a legit book. Whether the technique works, I dunno.
This is relevant to my interests as well! I lurk occasionally at reddit Trying for a Baby, which is pretty low on shitty acronyms. But if you find one let me know, I’m tearing my hair out with you.
Completely unrelated to your question; you have to explain the context of Baby Dancing? what is this, is it related to pregnancy or conception? I AM SO CONFUSED.
I love finding out the random acronyms and short hand that certain communities come up with, the more ridiculous the better; see also subjects that induce flame wars, i.e. did you know how political the ‘Baby Wearing’ community is? Apparently if you don’t spend £££s on a bit o’ fabric to hold up your kid you are to be shunned, and god forbid you, in your innocence and first-childyness, ask about the baby borjn style carriers, you’ll be run out of town with pitchforks and cries of ‘Crotch dangler’ and ‘Killing your child’
(I do not have children, I just enjoy observing the online madness of people who do)
Baby dancing is sex. Because lots of women on trying to conceive boards are uncomfortable saying sex or fuck. I wish I were kidding.
Oh for the love of god
Fucking WHAT?
So not only are they not comfortable saying ‘we’re having sex’ (while trying to conceive? You’re gonna have some problems once pregnancy and child birth come along; one might even have to use the word *gasp* VAGINA) that they call it ‘Baby Dancing’ (I’ll stop laughing at somepoint. No point soon though.), they then feel the need to abbreviate it to BD-ing?
Welp. People are crazy.
This is why people like Toasties (normal people unafraid of word like sex) need recommendations. Because THIS SHIT IS OUT THERE, POLLUTING OUR BRAINS
Ha I am feeling so vindicated after reading other Toasties’ horrified reactions to TTC forum terminology
burn it down burn it all down
…what? I just…like…what?
…I was picturing, like, dancing around the living room in a rain-dance-like attempt to convince your body to gestate. (What, like that’s weirder than calling fucking “baby dancing.”)
I thought it might be pregnancy related; as in ‘the baby is dancing (moving)’
Why would you just say ‘S-ing’ or something; why does everything related to children have to be *cute*
I’m picturing lots of post-sex wiggling to ensure that sperm remains in the ideal location for fertilization to occur. Like keeping your legs up on the wall, but way more active.
Alternately, post-birth Mommy Yoga-type dance classes, where women are encouraged to dance with their babies as a form of exercise and bonding.
Yeah, that’s where my mind went, too. But. BUT.
I’m choosing to ignore all ridiculous internet conception terminology, and instead think about body-positive mom-and-baby exercise/bonding classes.
Ohhhh my gooooooddddd that made me throw up in my mouth.
hahahahahaha omfg
I am both a) someone who took a long damn time to conceive, and b) someone who really likes fucking, and I want to defend the acronymns.
Sex for conception, especially after you’ve been trying for a long time, is super limited. You have to have it on the right day, whether you want to or not. Saliva is bad for sperm, so oral is off the table. The only lube you can use is a medicinal goop. And it can only end one way.
That’s not sex! Sex is improvisational and multifacted and spontaneous!
So using a cutsey acronym for this very limited type of sex didn’t bother me. “BD” is way less fun than “fucking”. It needs its own term.
oh the luuuuuube, I used PreSeed lube and it sucks so bad
This might be a weird first-ever comment to make after months of lurking but I just have to say that I lived down the road from the woman who invented PreSeed when I was growing up! She had a PhD in sperm physiology and researched contraception, but funding got seriously cut during the Reagan era, so she became a large-animal vet for a while before developing PreSeed. She was a smart, generous, seriously bad-ass ray of light in the conservative sex-shaming farm-scape I grew up in and her kids used to work weekends packaging lube shipments, which is delightful.
That is fascinating!
This is definitely making me feel better about PreSeed, to be honest.
My own personal rule is that if you’re not capable of saying it, you shouldn’t be allowed to do it. Lot harder to conceive without sex or fucking.
it’s boning
How…how is a baby bjorn killing a child? That XKCD about fractal subcultures might be the truest one he’s ever made. But I am right there with you on acronyms from subcultures! Puzzling out the DWIL boards without referencing the dictionary there was a ton of fun.
I know far too much about this due to my Baby Wearing blog stalking last year; essentially the base of support on a baby bjorn is too narrow, babies need to be supported under the back of their thighs, not their crotch, for better hip health; you can see the difference in a Ergo style carrier vs the baby bjorn, Ergo’s will extend out to the back of the childs knee and puts the kid in a hips spread open position (which is apparently the best position for growing hips), whereas in the baby bjorn the legs just dangle down and the crotch takes all the weight and your baby might get hip displaysia.
Now I agree with all of this (and as someone who has bandy hips I fully support infant hip health), but the vitriol and anger that comes along with it is ridiculous; one of the blogs I read was from a baby wearing instructor (which is an actual job you can have these days) and it was essentially a plea for everyone to be nicer to new parents at baby wearing groups because they’re just learning, instead of making them cry for turning up with a ‘crotch dangler’ carrier.
I took a babywearing class this past weekend with a certified babywearing instructor, and she told us very bluntly that hip dysplasia is genetic and there’s no way a carrier can cause it unless your kid was going to get it anyway. The non-“crotch dangler” carriers are just generally more comfortable for babies/kids, but the other kinds are not really dangerous. Hooray for logic!
Huh. I had no idea. Interesting.
Yeah I had no idea either until I fell down that particular rabbit hole.
I love how serious all those babywearing et al. forums get. Who knew that people could develop such strong feelings about the way you strap your baby to your person, or do any number of baby-related things.
I think its because caring for a baby is life and death at times; in most other things in life if you do it differently or wrong, sure people will disagree, but you’re not actively harming another person; but with babies and children, if someone feels that you’re doing it wrong, they often also fully believe you’re doing active harm to your child so they have to intervene. Even if you’re just doing something your own way or different from the norm, you could be killing your child!!!!111
You see it in animal circles too, because there’s the welfare of a living thing on the line (potentially) people get a lot more worked up than if it was about cars or some other inanimate thing (although I’m sure people get into flame wars about what kind of oil they put in their car or tyres or something). And there’s a lack of context online that allows people to read into the situation and see the worst.
Plus there’s all that super-mommy one-up-manship shit that goes on too.
That’s very true. I get why some parents attach themselves to certain methods and get critical and judgmental if they see someone doing it a different way. It’s scary being responsible for a tiny human, and you want to feel like you’re doing it exactly right all the time and you are capable of keeping your kid 100% safe–which doesn’t leave a lot of room for considering that different approaches are possible. But yea the competitiveness and the sort of slotting oneself into certain identities based on parenting practices (cloth diapering, babywearing) is irritating to me. However I’m also kind of hoping an anthropologist somewhere is like, analyzing the shit out of Babycenter forums, haha.
Ugh the over-identification thing. That would make an amazing thesis for someone; ‘The warring factions of online baby advice’
There’s a movie or an ad that has a similar premise as the set up to a joke or something that was quite funny (a bunch of parent and baby groups in a park and they’re all being snarky to eachother over what ever particular identifier they’ve chosen)
I think I saw that! It was cute. I think they all end up saving a baby in a runaway stroller.
The only people we hate more than the Romans are the fucking Judean People’s Front.
No, we are the Judean People’s Front. It’s the People’s Front of Judea that are the fucking pricks.
The only seriousness I do understand is being vigilant about carriers/methods that potentially obstruct baby’s airway, especially for newborns who don’t have head control; there actually have been carriers in the surprisingly recent past that have been responsible for infant deaths because of how the baby ended up positioned in the carrier. So I definitely understand sounding the alarm if someone wants to use one of the banned carriers, put a newborn into a carrier that is only intended for babies 6 months and up, etc.
A lot of it is just alarmist nonsense, though.
Yea, the safety issues are definitely important!
The profound, blind PRIVILEGE and gender bias that go into a passionate, unbending opinion about baby carriers (and the willingness to pass judgement on all mothers who disagree, let’s be honest, it’s always the MOTHERS) fills me with rage.
Just…Argh.
https://xkcd.com/915/
Legendary.
People will always find something to be snobby over
This x1000! I am just dipping my toe into forums and discussions and I just cannot with all the weird acronyms and code words. I start reading and then I have to close out because it’s just too much.
yup
But are you BDing with your DH
LMAO. So absurd, yet so true.
According to the “forums for mothers of changelings” post here a while ago, I believe that means “Bringing Damnation with your Doomed Husband”.
Serious answer, though, and this will sound obnoxious, but I found that avoiding the forums/discussion groups as much as possible when I was in the TTC process was the best for me. They were helpful at first to learn the ropes, but they sent me down anxiety spirals so frequently and so quickly that I felt like I was losing my mind. And there’s so much confirmation bias, old wives tales, etc. etc. floating around – did you conceive that month because you ate a whole pineapple or took a special multivitamin or prayed every day, or did it just happen to be the month that sperm and egg met and didn’t disintegrate after implantation? I also ended up needing medical intervention to conceive (<3 you Clomid), which was hard enough to deal with without filling my head up with nonsense from the forums.
That said, I may have had a better time of it if I’d found a non-shitty forum, but it was really hard to find actual support that wasn’t just low-level insanity. What finally made me cut the cord was seeing too many times that a woman would happily announce that she had conceived, and the comments were the equivalent of other women kneeling at her feet and plucking at her robes, with the desperate “congrats how many DPO were you when you tested what symptoms did you have what did you try differently this month I feel moody and crampy do you think I’m pregnant, too???” There’s support, and there’s whatever that is.
“You smell employed. Will you please just rub yourself against me until I smell like that too?”
I would love such a forum. Or a Toast thread. It’s all that’s on my mind, and then I google, and it takes me to all the poorly-spelled nonsense at babycenter etc. And the acronyms make me crazy, especially as our TTC involves no BD/fucking/anything of the sort, but many doctor visits.
Someone should start a Toast phpBB board or something. I still hang out online with the people from ye olde web forums 15 or so years later, because the people you discuss TTC with are the people you’ll want to discuss parenting with, and then the other stuff in your lives once you get less enamored of weekly updates on body fluids and so on. It’s nice to have that continuity.
Uh, we also hang out with no-kid people there, but it’s a nice connector to have followed other people’s blastocysts into tweenhood.
I would be up for this! I have the exact same reaction to all things twee.
I did it! I made the thing: [email protected]. That is literally all I’ve done, and I can’t promise I’ll be super active on the upkeep but lets see how it goes, right?
all right! I don’t know how google groups work, but I’d like to join. britomartian at gmail.com
Ha, ok! I added you, I THINK, and will post about it on the Open Thread on Friday. Fingers crossed.
Add me too! sdqsdq at gmail, we’ll see if this works!
Delurking for the first time to say, please please can I join? And how?
Super late on the reply, but I’ve found the ATTC board on baby center the “best of the worst”. BD and DH still make a ton of appearances, but at least the focus is on charts and science and not symptom-spotting.
You are looking for reddit.com/r/infertility. No acronyms allowed, a safe space for resentment and other feels, and SUPER KNOWLEDGEABLE. Queer friendly. I wouldn’t have gotten through it without them.
Sorry, just read a little more closely — doesn’t look like you’re in the infertility place yet. I hope you never are!
I will be making the drive to Ithaca from Buffalo. Very excited!
Also, just got back from Florida, where I sat around in various places (the beach, my aunt’s patio, a bluegrass festival) and drank and did nothing. It was everything I wanted.
::chin on hands:: Tell me what it was like to have warm feet, I heard it was really nice….
It was splendid. Comforting. Like butter on soft bread. But now its a receding memory.
The article about end times paranoia/white conservative paranoia brought back a lot of homeschool childhood feels. While my parents were(are) conservative, they were definitely not like the majority of people in the homeschool community. I remember so vividly my progression from acceptance of whatever I was told, to bemusement, to furious rebellion. If any toasties ever want to talk through or share articles on the insanity of the HSLDA-infused 80s-90s homeschool community, I am there for it.
<raises hand> homeschooled K-12 (1987-2000) and I am here for this. (gotta work right now, but maybe tonight or Friday open thread?)
yes let’s keep it going! I think that friday will be a busier work-day for me but we can pick it up now/later/friday/whenever.
I was homeschooled 1988-1999, when I went to public school for the first time as a 10th grader and it was appalling how many people from the HS community started talking smack and severing their relationships with my parents. My mom was the local HS group leader (there were about 150 families in the area) for years, we were really involved, but her reasons were never the same as a lot of the more fundamentalist folks. Ex: they didn’t think public schools were inherently evil, etc. They took a more skeptical view of the SUPER!conservatives, though definitely dabbled and there was a lot of tension in terms of navigating that whole scene.
I think that it is, in many ways, pretty fortunate that I have not really been a joiner in my life, and that I was apparently born with an aversion to absolute truth.
Ohhhh boy. I’m younger than you (homeschooled c. 2000-08), but my family did the whole HSLDA stuff too, and I think it’s still going strong because my mom still got magazines at least up until a couple years ago. We were maybe isolated from some of the nuttier stuff because we moved a lot, but I’ve enjoyed Homeschoolers Anonymous since discovering it a few years ago. http://homeschoolersanonymous.org/
(They focus on sharing the narratives of former homeschoolers. A couple years ago they ran a fantastic series by LGBTQ former homeschoolers)
Seconding the Homeschoolers Anonymous rec. I particularly liked their dismantling of homeschool “courtship/purity” teachings:
http://homeschoolersanonymous.org/2014/07/08/how-…
I found that essay completely fascinating. My parents didn’t push the “courtship” issue, though plenty of people we knew were really heavily into it. All I saw coming out of that was a bunch of emotionally immature folks getting married young and unable to articulate their needs/wants/desires in remotely healthy ways.
Are you still involved in the church post-homeschool? I think my separation from the evangelical movement as a teen towards a more holistic spiritual life and my transition from homeschool to public school as a 10th grader really went hand-in-hand.
also <raises hand>
I was homeschooled pre-K through 12th grade (1990-2004) within a very fundamentalist Christian, conservative, ‘back to the land’-mixed-with-prepper household in the US. Lyz Lenz’s article dredged up some serious feelings in the dark silt of my heart, I tell ya. Pretty sure my parents received the HSLDA newsletter until their most recent move, and they still donate/volunteer for homeschool-related programmes. Let’s chat on the OpenThread this week!
yeah! I have so many questions and thoughts for everyone!
I went to public school for kindergarten, was home-schooled for conservative/fundy reasons for 1st and 2nd grade (this would have been ’86-’88?), and then my parents gave up on the whole operation and sent me back to public school for 3rd grade. It was just enough time out of public school, at a very formative time, to permanently set me back socially. I remembered a bunch of the kids from kindergarten and they remembered me, but now I was the weirdo outsider who had missed out on a bunch of social development. Honestly it was like dropping me into a pool full of sharks. Thanks, mom and dad!
Homeschooled 1996-2001. (6-12th). But we were part of the crazy before I was home schooled due to religious conservatism (my private school used Bob Jones books). My sister started in 1st grade and was homeschooled for a year or two before I was.
I still remember only getting 3rd place in a homeschooler science fair in 7th grade. I lost to a girl who “proved” the flood and a boy who “disproved” evolution. Not that I’m still bitter.
Need to know your project.
Seriously, what was it?
Difference in sound waves, which note makes almost a sine wave, iirc.
( I think I used A440 as the control? )
Does anyone else’s parents continue to do the “LOOK AT MY FORMERLY HOMESCHOOLED CHILD, SO NORMAL, SO ADULT” thing still?
I’m in my 30s. It’s been over 15 years now and every time my mom meets someone new and my sister and I are around …
HAHAHA I am forever grateful to my parents that they don’t wheel me or my sibs out as a display but EVERY OTHER ADULT DOES.
i.e.: when they find out I was homeschooled until college, and if they are remotely thinking of doing that with their children, they instantly start asking me all kinds of questions about “are you OKAY?” and “does it WORK” and basically either “reassure me that you’re fine” or “I’m completely suspicious that you’re a functioning adult.”
To which I would answer with a weak laugh, in general.
THIS TOO.
And I’m like “Whatever socialization you think your kid needs, triple it.” Because I was terribly shy and did not socialize very well or as much as I should had.
Same same same. My homeschooled Toasties! (birth/whenever preschool would have started so probs 1995-2008)
Sent my Mom lyz’s article as we weren’t that sheltered, and I can see my much-younger/still in highschool brothers growing up in an entirely different world than I did, but still to help her understand how many people look back on their upbringing/what it’s like as a homeschool grad to view much of your life.
I’m still a Christian, but much of my adulthood has been, as y’all and Lyz’s article said, wrestling out the implications of what I grew up with, & trying to finely dice what is good from what is baloney.
I’d love to give a shout-out to “Mislaid,” by Nell Zink from the Morning News link. It’s a short, quick read that’s funny, poignant and really, really delightful. Highly recommend!
And if you’re interested, she did an equally delightful interview with the New Yorker. She is a weirdo and I love her. http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/05/18/outs…
Nell’s books from Dorothy Press are also terrific (before one of the Brooklyn Jonathan’s put his words on her cover which made publishers with $$ notice). HIGHLY RECOMMEND
That Hamilton interview is delightful, but I’m now wondering when the interview itself took place, based on Leslie Odom Jr.’s comment that he’s going on vacation next week…because I have tickets for next Wednesday.
I do not begrudge the man his vacation as he is darling and deserves his rest, and I’m sure his understudy is fantastic–wasn’t there a Toastie or two who saw the Burr understudy (underBurr?) and raved about him?–I was just very much hoping to see Original Flavor Burr. Ah, well.
I saw the show last week with Phillipa Soo’s understudy and the article mentions she was out so maybe it was written around then? I don’t know how long she was out for though. The show was GREAT, I’m sure you’ll love it even with underBurr!
I’m seeing it on the 21st and I too am VERY PARANOID about the the range of weeks that statement could apply to.
I might be the Toastie you’re thinking of! I saw Sydney James Harcourt as Burr in September, and I talk him up every chance I get, both because he was GREAT and because he & the other company members get so much less exposure than the main stars, I figure they deserve some love. It would have been nice to see Leslie Odom Jr., and I’ve really enjoyed what he’s had to say about the show in various interviews, but I think that the thought and care and interpretation he’s given to the role is so deeply embedded in the show at this point that I saw his work even though I didn’t see him perform.
I believe you may have been! Thank you for the added info; I’m still holding out hope for Leslie, but I feel like I’ll be just as happy (if not more so) if Sydney is there instead.
And really, either way I’ll be in the room where it happens, so.
I want to see Hamilton so badly it hurts, and I have a recurring mini-panic attack/nightmare that when and if I ever get myself up there LMM will be out that night or something. I think I’d really actually cry.
You’d be better off… he drags it down!!
So this was Chris Jackson when LeVar came to the show?
“YOU CAN’T DISAPPOINT A PICTURE.”
UPSTATE TOASTIES — I currently have but 10 of you on the email list. Currently, we are just in the pre-pre-pre-pre-pre planning stages of this, mind you, but the discussion right now is whether we want to do dinner afterwards, or try to do a coffee meetup before the lecture, or what. It being a Thursday is obviously a challenge for folks coming from Rochester/Syracuse/Buffalo/points further, so don’t feel obligated! There will be other meetups than these.
I would be happy to share information on the event on the evening of the 6th on this list as it develops, but I may not be able to make it to Ithaca from Syracuse two nights in a row, alas.
Nicole, hope this is helpful information!
It is! I will let you know when I have my flight info, too. I can be really flexible since I will be in my hotel room 24 hours a day once I arrive.
Where are you flying into? My work is mainly on weekends so if you’re flying into Syracuse I’d be happy to give you a ride as long as you disregard the weird blotch on my front passenger seat that is from the sourdough starter I left in the car for just ten minutes and it tried to escape the tupperware it was in.
Can I join the email list?
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/10/opinion/sunday/…
St. Theresa and the Merchant’s Wife at Tea: Toast icons forever.
This is beautiful and goes right to the reason that I’m still very marginally invested in Catholicism (i.e. nuns, and not much else)
Thank you for linking that. One of my responses to the end of the long-term relationship I was in until a couple weeks ago has been to think, I want to be a nun. I am not from a branch of Christianity that has a monastic tradition. Ex thinks I’m experiencing a desire to flee from the complexity of adult life. I think it’s more an attraction to a different *kind* of adult life. I find intentional communities devoted to shared life and work compelling.
Also, I want a family– not in the “we are raising children together” sense, but in the “we are reliable, and reliably caring, to each other” sense. My family of origin was not that. My partnership became not that (though 11 1/2 years is not nothing). God has been that. Various church communities I’ve been part of have been that. Writing has been that. I would like a life that centers on connection, yes, but not on a connection to one person who is still growing up, and who feels burdened rather than buoyed by commitment.
A friend of mine from church is actually working in a developing intentional community focused on sustainable living and service to God and each other. It’s pretty awesome.
The Lapham’s Quarterly article was a wonderful to read and Follett is definitely a honorary toastie with plans like this “Follett’s next plan—“to become a pirate” and take to the sea for her new book—was announced in the Times.”
Second! Thank you for linking, so great!
Okay, so I looked into Follett’s (well, Mr. Mad Editor looked into it, because he is an out of print book wizard) writing, and it’s like, $200 for used editions. Do we think Knopf still owns the rights? Do we think Columbia owns it, with her papers? Who do we need to contact to get these books back in print? I will make calls and coordinate a Toastie letter writing campaign expressing interest in the publication of these works. I am needing them.
Dear Toast,
Please, please, please don’t accept ads that auto-play video. Currently the one that looks to be from YBrant over on the right margin is causing problems with scrolling, and after a short while, makes the whole site freeze. I don’t want to have to turn on AdBlocker to read your lovely content, but if that’s the only way to do it, I will. Or I’ll just go back to not reading The Toast like I did for a sad time last year before I figured out about AdBlocker.
YBrant or whomever has probably thrown a large chunk of cash at you to allow their videos to invade your space… but please, it’s not worth it. (How much cash? Maybe we can have a Kickstarter to make up the difference?)
(Typing this comment is going slower and slower…even after I got the “Shockwave has crashed” message. Things are dire.)
Sincerely,
Big-time Toast Fan and Sometime Media Worker Who Understands Painful Choices in Advertising
We are not supposed to have autoplay video, so if you see it, email us! I have alerted John to this one.
Emailing UX complaints is ALWAYS more effective than putting them in the comments, by the way, because although I usually read most of the comments, I miss a lot!
Thank you thank you thank you! Will email in the future if a video sneaks by again.
If I worked at The Daily Telegraph, I’d sit at my desk – but I’d be giving the camera in that box the finger the entire time.
State of the Union is tonight!
Nikki Haley is delivering the opposition’s response (My girlfriend and her family, who are Indian, have her very firmly on their shit list along with Bobby Jindal, regardless of how much Bobby/Nikki align with some of their politics, because You Do Not Change Your Name To Be More Palatable To White People).
What if Wes Anderson directed the State of the Union?
a href=”http://www.engadget.com/2016/01/11/amazon-streaming-state-of-the-union/”>It will be live-streamed on Amazon.
What fun faces will Republicans make when Obama needles them? I’m going to miss the Joe Biden/John Boehner reaction shots (really, I’m going to miss John Boehner’s face screwing up like he’s sucking on a lemon.)
As far as I know there isn’t a single syllable in Indian names that can’t be pronounced by the average English speaker. So all it’s about it taking the time to learn how to say it just like any other thing we learn how to say. Ugh.
I struggle a lot with aspirated vs. unaspirated sounds, but, y’know…that’s my problem, not anybody else’s. I liked this reasoning from Uzoamaka Aduba’s mother: “Without missing a beat, she said, “If they can learn to say Tchaikovsky and Michelangelo and Dostoyevsky, they can learn to say Uzoamaka.””
If Nicole isn’t careful she might not be the one to pair bond with Sansa. Those two look pretty close, I’m saying…
Also, whenever I see a picture of Sansa I start to wonder when she will lose her down and get her real fur in, but it probably doesn’t work that way for dogs.
How bout a meetups for SLC Toasties? We exost. We’re here. Maybe the same weekend as the Roe v Wade event at Publik? We could make a weekend of it!
You know I LIVE in SLC, right?
This is what I’m saying! Let’s hang out. I mean my next option would have been creepily stalking you and “casually” running into you, so this is maybe preferable?
I don’t know how long Mallory is in town (see the creepy stalking? Although you posted that on the site and have only yourself to blame), but we could also do something (drinks/appetizers somewhere? book exchange? Who knows?) last minute.
Northern UT lurker here who is UP FOR THIS!! Yes please.
I live much closer to SLC than the east coast, yes please!
Congrats to Nikki on Brian Lehrer! However, I just hit this comment:
<<Why didn’t we have this issue twenty years ago….as in before “every child got a prize” ?>>
Reminding me why I have a policy of not reading comments except on Toast. “We didn’t have this issue” . . . “We” = “white people,” obviously. GARRRR. And yet I know this is super weak tea compared to what you guys have been fielding.
This anecdote, though (Yes, I am still reading them, I can’t help myself.):
[Miscellaneous from NYC] I am Jewish. Many years ago, I worked at a McDonald’s in DeKalb County, Georgia. One day, I had run out of things to do behind the counter, so my manager sent me into the dining room to clean the table legs. I was engaged in this activity when a female customer sitting at a table asked me what I was doing. I told her I was cleaning the table legs because my manager had asked me to. She replied: “What is he, some kind of Jew?”
I stood up and looked directly at her and said: “He’s not, but I am,” and then I walked away.
I am an Ithaca toastie! Please let us know about your plans for the 6th – I’d love to come!
I clicked “sort by Last Activity” and now the comment box is at the top, and all the comments are showing as replies? Ugh, IntenseDebate.
I’m so glad it’s not just my browser.
That, uh…that might be on me. My bad. I think I missed a tag in my SotU post and ID freaked the fuck out. This is what happens when you rely on Emmet and generators too much and don’t get your hands in the muck writing HTML.
GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS THIS IS HUGE http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/supreme-court…
Florida allows judges to impose the death penalty, even if the jury votes to only give a life sentence. Alabama has the same scheme, and it’s FUCKING AWFUL. I’m representing a client who was sentenced to death by the judge, even though the jury only gave him life without parole– and judges often pull this shit near election years to be like, LOOK IM TOUGH ON CRIME (also fucked up: that some state judges have to run for election).
THIS IS REALLY GREAT NEWS and I am excited to see how it will affect Alabama and MY CLIENT!!!
that is excellent news and seriously fucked up. I am with you that having judges run for election is terrible.
This is both excellent news, and awful that it HAS to be news, if you know what I mean.
(also, I seriously admire you for being able and willing to do that kind of work.)
Speaking of corporate entities driving long-established businesses into the ground!
The company at which I’ve worked for the past eight months, since I got to Oregon, had MASSIVE layoffs last week. And the CEO actually lied to our faces about exactly how many people were let go (lowballing it). They included the two best friends I’d made so far in Oregon. We’ll stay in touch, but they literally just removed the one enjoyable element from my job.
I am grateful to still be employed at the moment, so I can at least have more time to really look around my new region and figure out what’ll be an improvement and not just a wild leap from a sinking ship. It would be wonderful if I can actually get into publishing. Though I’m a little disconcerted by how the few remaining people in my department keep saying, “Thank God you’re still here,” with every appearance of sincerity (I am the only tech writer in the company, since the part-time person who trained me was also let go).
I know, you must kill all feelings of guilt or concern for coworkers and do what’s right for you and your career, especially when things are going as horribly as they clearly are here. But this is a bummer start to the year. And to think back in November — before the first abrupt layoffs around me — I was really feeling comfortable here, like I could be here for years.
What’s nice is that I’ve befriended the tech writer who was here before me (who appears, in body and spirit, to be actual Thor, as represented by Chris Hemsworth), and he’s already reached out with the possibility of contract work. That’s reassuring.
I’m just gonna reply to say “welcome to Oregon”!
I could really used a hug at work today. I recently launched a big project and it’s having all these horrible technical issues that are fucking up things for people in other departments, our technical consultants are all MIA or taking forever to respond, and while I know intellectually I can work through this it feels like utter shit and I am one step from crying in the bathroom. It doesn’t help that I am literally the ONLY one on this project. Uuuuuugh.
*gentle hug*
You can do it. Cry in the bathroom for a few minutes if it will help.
Thank you! I totally would if it didn’t mean I’d be bright red and glistening for the rest of the day.
I wish to recommend that you consider one of these spirit animals your project partner. http://goodstuffhappenedtoday.tumblr.com/post/137…
That was a much needed smile, thank you!
I visit this tumblr daily for just such emergencies. A pleasure.
{{{{Hugs}}}} there is no I in team … keep that in mind if someone tries to guilt trip you. Without knowing more sounds like you are doing the work of two people.
This story of a 79 year old birder taking down one of the Oregon dumbasses is too good for me to verify. I just hope it’s true, http://thelapine.ca/79-year-old-bird-watcher-take…
““We’re hoping this is an isolated incident and we’re asking the elderly not to knock any more militants on their ass,” said the grinning FBI agent.”
Seems like the whole website is Onion-style satire, unfortunately.
I’m not even mad, well done random Onion-style site. I enjoyed this article, at least.
This is better than a lot of what the Onion’s run lately anyway.
Are we saving Bowie feelings for tomorrow?
no, i’m having them all
There were a lot of Bowie feelings in yesterday’s roundup, too.
I somehow completely lost a day. I was like, oh I heard last night. No. No, I heard the other night. Time has elapsed strangely and now everyone is a day ahead of me. I even went back to yesterday’s round-up, and was like, “oh I remember reading that tweet,” and yet I still feel like I heard 12 hours ago.
Thank you for helping me dealing with my temporal displacement everyone.
🙁 It makes perfect sense to me that losing Bowie has disrupted the time-space continuum. We may be feeling aftershocks for a while.
Oh, that explains a few things about my last week.
Nothing terribly interesting to add, but seriously, these links are on point today! A++
>Sansa and my daughter like to take turns sitting on each other to watch TV. Also, my daughter said “Sansa and I love each other” yesterday morning.
*immediately after*
>Suicide bombing kills at least 10 people in Istanbul’s Sultanahmet district
I AM VERY EMOTIONAL YOU ARE MAKING ME VERY EMOTIONAL
Yes. I hope she did not meet foul play but just Took To The Sea!
Yeah, the ringleader ended up not actually graduating because he failed every grade but kept getting moved up because his parents were loaded and no one wanted to deal with the dickweed.
Thanks tho.