Classic Characters You May Not Remember From Children’s Literature -The Toast

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How many of these characters can you recall? You see, they all remember you.

Agatha “Sister Night-Wind” Brimlap, Mary Poppins
Mary Poppins’ elder sister who lives in the coal-cellar and visits the children when they are asleep. She visited you, too. Don’t you remember? She keeps all the things the wind carries away. She’s very tidy, Agatha Brimlap, and you’ve misplaced ever so many things. What’s that? Why, the West Wind can’t carry Miss Agatha away. Nothing can. She’s as heavy as a lie and unyielding as a shadow. Can’t move a shadow. Did you ever wonder where things go when they get forgotten? As soon as you forget them, Sister Agatha learns what they are. Sister Agatha’s always learning things, and you’re never too grown-up to get a visit from her.

The Fox-Eyed Man, The Little Prince
Have you ever seen the man with fox-colored eyes? What is essential is not invisible to him. You might not remember him because he was never written or drawn onto the page, but he was there just the same.

The Princess of Nothing, The Phantom Tollbooth
The black-eyed sister to Princesses Rhyme and Reason who lives under the stairs of the Castle in the Air and latches on to Milo’s ankles as he runs away from the Terrible Trivium. She has never let go, of him or of anything.

No-Eyes, Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?
No-Eyes, No-Eyes, what do you see?

“Nothing and no one! Nothing and no one! Nothing and no one! You!”

The Attic Girl, A Little Princess
“When you will not fly into a passion people know you are stronger than they are, because you are strong enough to hold in your rage, and they are not, and they say stupid things they wish they hadn’t said afterward. There’s nothing so strong as rage, except what makes you hold it in–that’s stronger. It’s a good thing not to answer your enemies.” In the attic at Miss Minchin’s is a girl littler than all the others. She is as thin as hunger and as raw as want. She never has rages. She never makes a sound above a whisper. The Attic Girl holds in all things and is held in by all things. What will Miss Minchin do when they are the only two left in the house?

Mrs. Helpheart, A Wrinkle In Time
Mrs Helpheart, older than Mrs Whatsit, older than IT, lives in the heart of the tesseract. Meg saw her once, and now she sees her whenever she closes her eyes to sleep. Charles Wallace closed his eyes so he wouldn’t see her, and now he can’t open them. Mrs Helpheart knows about the darkness that existed before Camazotz, the darkness that will come again.

Margaret, The Little House On The Prairie 
They buried Margaret in what Ma would normally have called unseemly haste. “Get the body in the ground, Pa,” she whispered, her mouth tight. “Get it in the ground.”

Nail-Hands Sarah, Harry Potter
Harry left her under the stairs! Harry left her under the stairs! Harry got his letter out, and what did Sarah get? Nothing, and no one! Nothing, and no one! Nothing, and no one! Nail-Hands Sarah only wants her due, and Harry’s had her share of things for too long! Harry left! Harry left, and never came back! That cupboard was cramped and you left her alone! You left, Harry! Harry, you left! Harry! Harry! Come back and look at me!

Shadow Gretl, Heidi
The girl who lives in Heidi’s shadow and giggles madly with every word that Heidi says! She follows Heidi wherever she goes! In the winter, on the mountains, when the shadows get long very soon in the day, she comes earlier and earlier! Heidi cannot shake her, and now she never tries!

Mother, Encyclopedia Brown
Encyclopedia’s Mother is always very ill. When her door is closed, he may run about and read books and answer questions and see other children and talk to Sally. When her door is open – Oh Encyclopedia! How you hush and skulk about! What if Mother hears? What if Mother calls for you? Her voice is so tired! Her voice is so tiresome! Her door is open, and she can see and hear you! Where will you go, Encyclopedia?

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Just when I thought I'd have a nice night of dreams, MALLORY
Angry, forgotten, vengeful women and girls coming for what's theirs- I can dig it.

(Joan Aiken had at least one of these in every short story collection and I am inured to them!)
I think my bookshelf is haunted now
I'm going to need the entire Margaret backstory, ASAP.
9 replies · active 478 weeks ago
“Nothing and no one! Nothing and no one! Nothing and no one! You!”

Welp. Now I know what I'll be scared of during tonight's middle-of-the-night trip to the bathroom. And tomorrow's.
So have all the copies of the Phantom Tollbooth that will not stay in my house been stolen by the Princess of Nothing?

(I have bought it at least four times for it to vanish completely)
2 replies · active 478 weeks ago
mallory you are poking me with your words.
Oh my god. Like, usually I can handle Mallory destroying our childhood, but from Sister Agatha on I've had a sinking, creepy sensation crawling up and down my body. NO, please?
*sees Little Prince image*

at least it is not a children's stories made horrific, i think

*clicks through, instantly regrets decision and passes out*
Look it is Monday I do not need this I need sleep this week.
1 reply · active 478 weeks ago
Please start tagging everything with "JESUS MALLORY WHAT HAVE YOU DONE" so we can store all the horrors in one place. Thanks.
MARGARET. I always thought it unlikely that the Ingallses had four kids and all four lived.
It's also possible these are all the same woman at various stages of her life.
13 replies · active 478 weeks ago
I would like to read "Nail-Hands Sarah and the Cupboard of Secrets" please. Or perhaps "Nail-Hands Sarah meets Dudley in the Dark".

Harry isn't the only one who can have adventures, after all.
2 replies · active 478 weeks ago
"Tauriel," from 'The Hobbit'

In Lake-town, the house of Bard is attacked by Bolg and his troops. Tauriel and Legolas arrive to rescue the Dwarves and kill the Orcs. As Legolas runs after Bolg, Tauriel takes some athelas obtained by Bofur and uses it to heal Kili's wounds, uttering a mysterious chant in Sindarin. Half in delirium, Kíli speaks of her beauty and wonders aloud whether she might someday love him. Tauriel tells him to lie still but is obviously pleased, and Kíli moves his hand to hold hers. His eyes began to cloud and darken. "The charm is sealed," she thinks to herself, "Such pretty little men, and such a pretty little world. I can't wait until it's all mine."
2 replies · active 478 weeks ago
The name on his birth certificate was Leroy, but only his parents and teachers called him that. All the other children called him Encyclopedia. And as for Mother...well.

Mother called him something else entirely.
2 replies · active 478 weeks ago
AAAAH
Miss Minchin *deserves* the Attic Girl.
3 replies · active 478 weeks ago
I think Agatha Brimlap sounds amazing and I would like to go out for drinks with her on a regular basis.
2 replies · active 478 weeks ago
What the hell, Mallory.
2 replies · active 478 weeks ago
Pity the rights-holders yanked all of the Margaret episodes of Little House from YouTube.

some of us still remember
Cool cool I get it, it's not enough to ruin books we love, now you have to make up new characters to re-ruin them.

What exactly happened in your childhood, Mallory?
2 replies · active 478 weeks ago
I'm not sure what weird spell Mallory has been casting with this series, her dark enchantments taking ever-deeper root in my heart, but I found this...oddly comforting? Maybe it's just the 2' of snow outside my window, which will blind me if I don't keep the curtain at least partway drawn, or perhaps another piece of my heart has been replaced by my Shadow Self, but I have this delightful feeling of being wrapped in a warm, snuggly blanket after reading this.

...is this what it's like for mice who are hosts to toxoplasma gondii? Or is it like the giant fungus in that one episode of the X-Files?
Agatha “Sister Night-Wind” Brimlap sounds exceedingly in keeping with P.L. Travers' general creation. Mary Poppins is pretty much as creepy at some points in the series.
1 reply · active 478 weeks ago
hey listen i'm in a room full of children's books for 9 hours a day and i don't need this
MALLLORRRRYYYYY

my phone now has that spelling in autocorrect because every damn time.
Never going into an attic ever again.
Genuinely offended that Harry didn't take Nail-Hands Sarah with him to Hogwarts. He deserves what's coming to him.
JESUS CHRIST, MALLORY.
"She is as thin as hunger and as raw as want."

And now I have goosebumps, despite the fact that it's January in Texas and therefore 73 degrees... SHIVER
Readerbeth's avatar

Readerbeth · 478 weeks ago

All my life I have wanted/tried to be more like Sara Crew. Now I know I should have been trying more to be like the Attic Girl.
At first I thought, why didn't Mallory do this with the Secret Garden, and then I realized that book is already only populated with vengeful ghosts
THE ATTIC GIRL
Teka Lynn's avatar

Teka Lynn · 478 weeks ago

There really was an Ingalls who died young. Freddy was born between Carrie and Grace, and only lived a few months. Those years held such painful memories for Laura Ingalls Wilder that she skipped it entirely in the books. That's why we have the time jump between On the Banks of Plum Creek and By the Shores of Silver Lake.
LittleLakitu's avatar

LittleLakitu · 478 weeks ago

When did you decide you were gonna be a horror author, Mallory. This is going to kill me. Sweet dreams :p
No no NO. Is nothing sacred? I don't think I can read this. Le Petit Prince? NO.
Bacchari Sybariti's avatar

Bacchari Sybariti · 478 weeks ago

Mallory reminds me that I wish I could go back in time and say this to my parents: you know, if you ever want your 8-year-old daughter to enjoy LSD or a normal sex life in adulthood, you may want to keep _A Wrinkle In Time_ out of her grubby little hands.
1 reply · active 478 weeks ago
lookanddespair's avatar

lookanddespair · 478 weeks ago

Oh man why do these sounds so real
D:
I am pretty sure I always knew about Margaret
Annie

Artemis is cold, the wind bites like daggers. How can the wind bite, Fowl Manor is warm all the days of the year? A baby is crying somewhere, but he cannot see it. How can a baby be crying, he is the only child in the Manor? He walks down the hall to his parent's room, where the child is in its crib. How can there be a child in its crib, he is the only child in the manor? He walks in, a strange light comes from the baby. How can a light be coming from a baby, babies do not produce light? He looks down, the baby is strange its skin is like an oak tree and its ears are pointed. How can a baby have pointed ears, babies have human ears? His mother and father are smiling on the bed, but they are thin. How can they be thin, they are the healtheist ones Artemis knows? The baby is growing stronger, and it opens its eyes they are like a cat's eye. How can they be like a cat's eye, babies are babies not cats? Butler comes in, angry and grabs the baby. Why is butler taking the baby, he is Artemis's protector? The baby is crying, and Artemis wants to help it. Why does he want to help it, when he wants nothing but to advance the Fowl name? His mother and father try to rise, but they are weak. How are they week, when they are the strongest Artemis knows? Artemis cries at Butler to stop, and pounds his back. Why is he trying to stop Butler, who protects him? Butler throws the baby out the window. Why throw a defenseless baby out a window, was it defenseless? Artemis falls to the ground, tired. Why is he so tired, it wasn't like he had exerted himself? Butler cathes him as the room swims. Why is the room swimming, rooms don't swim? Artemis awakes, after a strange dream about fairy babies. Years later he will get his revenge, though he will never know what drives him to hunt the elves.
1 reply · active 478 weeks ago
This reads like an ode to all appearances of the Faceless Old Woman who Lives in Your Home.

And now, the weather.
I think it is necessary to note that there is a real life dead brother from Laura Ingalls' life that she omitted from the books, but I can't decide if that makes your version prescient or terrible.

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