Things I Have Mistaken For Friendship Over The Years -The Toast

Skip to the article, or search this site

Home: The Toast

  • Both disliking the same thing
  • Both disliking the same person
  • Both attending and disliking the same event
  • Both drunk and in an expansive mood at the same time
  • Both unemployed at the same time
  • Both hate our jobs at the same time
  • Neither minds if either one cancels plans at the last minute
  • Both slept with the same person who neither of us likes anymore
  • Both watched Oz
  • Both contemptuous of our other friends’ intelligence
  • Both thought Parks and Recreation dropped off sharply after season 3
  • Both equally bad at responding to texts
  • Both willing to spend hours drinking iced coffee very slowly while disparaging other friends’ boyfriends
  • Both interested in talking a lot about joining a gym
  • Both send each other a lot of links
  • Both enjoy the same specific drug
  • Both like talking during movies (or refuse to talk during movies)
  • Wear the same size clothes
  • Both love leaving things early and avoiding public transit
  • Both in the same amount of debt to a mutual friend
  • Both hungry at the same time a lot
  • That’s it, everything else was real
Add a comment

Skip to the top of the page, search this site, or read the article again