Things I Have Mistaken For A Personality Trait Or Love Over The Years, Both In Others And In Myself, Usually To My Own Detriment -The Toast

Hair falling over someone’s eyes
Garden-variety cruelty
Someone who regularly stays up too late and acts tired and withdrawn during the day as a result
Just straight-up bad at listening
Repeatedly checking phone during conversation
Dislikes/criticizes everything without ever once justifying a position or explaining why they do like something
Owns the same books as I do
Offers rides without my asking
“If we have similar tastes we must have similar values, this is an excellent prospect for a long-term relationship”
Finishes drinks at a similar pace
Sleeves rolled up to reveal forearms
That little bump of hair behind where your bangs go some women wore back in like 2002, but only in 2002
Wants me to approve of them
Refuses to approve of me
Willingness to hang out
Says “right on” instead of “okay” or “mm-hmm” to show they’re listening
Always seems like they just woke up
Talks a lot about subjects I know nothing about so I always think of them as smart but they might be making it all up
Refuses to emotionally engage in any argument so as to always preserve an air of emotionless and serene detachment
Leaves town a lot
That’s it, I don’t make any more mistakes than that

Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.

Things I Have Mistaken For A Personality Trait Or Love Over The Years, Both In Others And In Myself, Usually To My Own Detriment