This post was sponsored by Kelsey Keyes on behalf of Alison Looney, for her birthday.
It’s here, it’s really here, and it’s called Dark Buddhism, and I need you all to hold me back from running headlong into a conversion:
Dark Buddhism: Integrating Zen Buddhism and Objectivism is finally available. You can purchase it on Amazon.com by clicking here. E-book versions for the Kindle, iPad and Nook are also available…
I picked up a book on Zen Buddhism and quickly realized that I had found the missing piece of “real” Objectivism: in short, the true objectivity that Objectivism was supposed to have. The Buddha said that there are no frozen views of anything. His logic goes as follows: a belief or a view is like a picture. It is a snapshot image, frozen in time. However the world in which we live, the environment around us, the situations occurring in our lives, our bodies and our thoughts, are in a constant state of change. Everything changes, and these changes occur continuously. So how can a frozen view or belief possibly be an accurate reflection of reality when reality itself is not frozen and is constantly changing? The answer is, it can’t. For a philosophy, a frozen view or belief-or rigid codes of conduct, ethics and thought, as in Objectivism-can be deadly: if life and the universe in which we live are constantly changing, then the philosophy must have change or, at least, flexibility built into it. In physics we call the “frozen” or “snapshot” view of something “the steady state solution.” It is always regarded as a frozen model, rather than the true “time evolution solution,” which is dynamic. Viewed from a different scientific perspective, Objectivism and other rigid forms of teaching are just ones and zeroes: something is or it isn’t, something is good or it’s bad, the answer is yes or it is no, and so on. There are no in-betweens and there are no other options or possibilities. This is, of course, completely inapplicable to the real world.
Buddhism supplied a necessary piece of the puzzle but, as an Objectivist, I simply could not accept the selflessness the Buddha taught. This is selflessness in both senses of the word: first a life of compassion toward others, and second a dissolution of the ego, becoming without self. The latter is the more familiar concept that “we are all one” or “everything in the universe is interconnected.” Buddhism is not supposed to have any particular moral codes or ethics, like a religion, yet the teachings regarding compassionate living seemed to be just that. In Dark Buddhism these are all personal choices, not morality as dictated by others. It slowly dawned on me that I could take what seemed rational and “right” from Zen Buddhism, excise the parts that were inconsistent with my values, and then do the same with Objectivist epistemology and merge the two together. The psychology of self-esteem is the glue that binds the two together, and the result is Dark Buddhism, a logically consistent whole.
YOU GOT YOUR ZEN IN MY OBJECTIVISM, YOU GOT MY PEANUT BUTTER IN YOUR ETC
Choice and responsibility are elements I struggled with in writing this book. I began by formulating a philosophy, but every time “choice” and “self-responsibility” cropped up, I felt as though I were writing a self-help manual rather than a philosophical text. In the end I reached a point of acceptance-which, as you will learn, is key to the dharma-that I could not provide a path without discussion of how to help yourself. One of the major flaws in Objectivism is that Ayn Rand states her ideals but gives no instruction on how to reach those ideals. Dark Buddhism, at times, reads like a self-help book because the dharma, which allows you to attain enlightenment, is a path of helping yourself. If enlightenment were not a good thing, no one would want to be on the path in the first place. In Dark Buddhism, the steps of this path are largely based on personal choice and self-responsibility.
The path to enlightenment must involve consciousness: enlightenment is a state of true consciousness, where what you see, understand, accept, and think are completely unfiltered and uncolored by bias, prejudice, preconceived notions, societal programming, the opinions and fears and pressure of your peers, or any other influence. But you must make the choice to be conscious. You must not only be responsible for yourself, but also consciously realize and understand that we, as human beings, are all ultimately responsible for ourselves.
If you are anything like me, you are slightly horrified by how you are not as horrified as you thought you would be by this! Let’s all join?? I’ll start:
The Four Noble Truths
- The truth of suffering
- The truth of the origin of suffering: desire
- The truth of the cessation of desire: consummating every single one of your desires by achieving them all
- The truth of the path leading to the cessation of desire: trains
1. The truth of suffering
2. The truth of the origin of suffering: having to think about other people
3. The truth of the cessation of desire: being entirely, completely selfish and glorifying it
4. The truth of the path leading to the cessation of desire: voting Trump 2016
So glad this was tagged under the convert series.
So glad and so worried.
I have always liked the idea of Buddhism (I wrote my undergrad honors thesis on it for godsake) but could never practice it because desire (and my treasured-and-consuming love of desiring things/people/experiences) is what motivates the 90% of me that is not motivated by spite.
The only way I could ever hope to be selfless is going full Tiffany Aching and wanting everything so much that it all becomes my responsibility.
Oh shit. This might be me.
Pretty sure this is me.
It me. There’s a reason I love Tiffain.
This is why I <3 Taoism.
Only 10% motivated by spite? Well done!
I am deeply, deeply attached to pursuits of pleasure.
because clearly, sacred.
Ayn Rand and Tim LaHaye/Jerry Jenkins should get together. Their love of trains, airplanes, and telephones borders on the truly obsessive, and not in an artistic- Terry Gilliam-Brazil kind of way. Just in a way that implies they have far, far too much time on their hands.
My God. Going Galt is the Objectivist Rapture.
I take refuge in the Three Jewels: Reardon Steel, A = A, and Galt’s Gulch.
If it’s *dark* Buddhism, shouldn’t we have not enlightenment, but OMfuscation instead?
I know, I know, I’ll show myself off the train. Or possibly under it.
oh jeez there is probably not a person on this earth whose teeth I want to punch in more than this guy’s right now
Objectivism tells me that this is a perfectly rational choice to achieve my ends as long as I can do it in a way that escapes practical consequence (I believe that I can)
but Buddhism says that by staving in another guy’s teeth, I’m also staving in my own
worth it
I mean, I’m definitely thinking really hard about it.
If you meet the Buddha on the road, sock him square in the kisser.
If you meet the Buddha in the road, call him a looter and take the train next time.
Seems like Skillful Means to me
If raccoons are an agglomeration of concentrated squirrels,perhaps this was written by an agglomeration of concentrated raccoons?
What would that be? A capybara? A quite small bear?
it makes my brain hurt.
Why is it called “dark” Buddism?
Obviously, the answer is that the writer has the sophistication of a high schooler (with apologies to high schoolers) and they thought it sounded cool, but what if we were pretending to be charitable?
Why then?
He’s trying to specifically tie it into the “Dark Enlightenment”, which is a weird anti-democratic Randian cultural movement that has somehow gained life on the internet.
They could’ve saved some valuable typing time by just calling themselves the Endarkenment.
more evidence that these guys are a bunch of fucking clowns, tbqh
“I suppose I should have given the writer of Dark Buddhism even the slightest bit more credit” is certainly not a thought I enjoy thinking, but here I am.
Thank you for the context.
don’t worry I am pretty sure those guys only call it “the Dark Enlightenment” because they want to be cool the way nerd teenagers think Deathstroke the Terminator is cool, so by the commutative property it’s basically the same thing
I don’t want to be too dismissive of something I just heard of, but if this wikipedia article is any measure, the justification for the name “Dark Enlightenment” seems extreeeeeemly flimsy.
it is definitely very okay and cool to be dismissive of the Dark Enlightment, since to a person the only cats trying to talk it up are reclusive internet dweebs who think they’re smart enough to predict the end of American democracy and are auditioning for Viceroy of the Internet or some shit in Peter Thiel’s fantasy despotic dark-topia.
I’m happy you are here.
I guess I should be nicer to these guys, but they fill me with a profound disgust.
This cat here is 100% trying to set himself up as the spiritual advisor to some future Business-King of Silicon Valley and they all just look like a bunch of crabs clambering over a toxic-waste-poisoned whale carcass.
I’d say that I wish them a lifetime of unhappiness and dissatisfaction, but that’s basically a given considering the philosophies they’ve decided to yoke themselves to.
There’s a part of me that finds the “trying to set himself up as the spiritual advisor to some future Business-king of Silicon Valley” explanation more palatable than the “earnestly thinks they solved Buddhism” one.
Yeesh.
YOU LEAVE DEATHSTROKE OUT OF THIS
My roommate, upon finding out that Slade from Teen Titans was originally called “Deathstroke”: “Why did he pick a handle for himself? His last name was sinister enough!”
It still makes it sound like he bartends in a goth club. In the dark.
Most of the goths I’ve met are more self-aware than this. And nicer.
It’s a reference to a years-old Harry Potter Sorting Hat wank which is, sadly, lost to server crashes. But a guy was upset he wasn’t sorted into Slytherin, because he’s so dark and hardcore. Evidence is that he bartends in a goth club.
Like Emo Kylo Ren and his sorting hat issues?
http://observationdeck.kinja.com/of-course-kylo-r…
Sort of like that, only it was a grown-ass man posting to an LJ forum to talk about how insane the mods were to put him in…maybe Ravenclaw?
God, I miss fandom_wank.
OH MY GOD YOU JUST REMINDED ME OF THAT WHOLE “BARTENDING IN THE DARK” THING, AHAHAHAHAHA, THANK YOU
I have made it my personal mission to keep the old wanks alive, now that f_w is lost in the depths of server robustness.
he’s a sith lord?
“Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not “Every man for himself.” And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up.”
Who looks stupid now, huh?
When I saw that movie in the theater, I literally fell out of my seat laughing. My sides ached. I still love that line!
I now know what I want for my birthday, and it’s for somebody to sponsor an Ayn Rand Toast post (specifically, one where Mallory rewrites Little House on the Prairie so that Pa’s not always leeching off Mary’s college money)
the truth of the path leading to the cessation of desire: very simple and specific desires
This is like a bad tumblr meme
Dark buddhism show me the forbidden enlightment
this is exactly the joke I was going to make, thank you
Thank you I was hoping at least one person would get my terrible humor.
OH THE DELETED COMMENTS
PLEASE PLEASE SHARE THEM WITH US
PLEASE
MY SOUL CRIES OUT FOR THIS
I think that I probably know some tech bros who are already practitioners of this. *shudder*
So…he wants to be Saruman. Not Sauron, because if he were evil, he’d just do it and not bother to rationalize. Just Saruman, because dudes like these think they’re gonna be hot shit and instead they end up as someone’s patsy.
Because ending up disgraced by people with morals and getting your throat slit by your own lackey should totally be your endgame.
On the other hand, think how much easier it must be to abandon the illusion of self, if that self is already a colossal jerk.
I hear the official currency of Dark Buddhism is the bitkoan.
Why can’t I upvote this more than once?
I actually laughed out loud at this
Oh my god.
Well shit, now I have a scratch all the way down my shin because I startled the cat.
I hope you are feeling very proud of yourself right now, you excellent thing.
I made my roommate walk across the house just so I could see his face when I related this pun.
So Dark Buddhism is basically Emo Kylo Ren.
Emo Kylo Ren’s dharma. Ok, I guess I can buy that.
So this guy is admitting that he literally cannot countenance compassion for other humans? Doesn’t that just make him a sociopath?
No, but if he trains hard enough he might just get there! (Rimshot)
I just want to post the literary equivalent of a kitten gif: a reminder that Elementary’s Sherlock called Ayn Rand “the philosopher-in-chief of the intellectually bankrupt.”
Dunno if this gif will work but worth your time I promise: https://media.giphy.com/media/FG3bY07ppQZeo/giphy…
So if you collect bad karma in Dark Buddhism do you get reincarnated as Bernie Sanders?
I need the Nicoles to intervene with Mallory and keep her from becoming a Dark Buddhism rinpoche because I can see this future and it is the darkest timeline.
You’re right. Reading this now, after I had so thoroughly rejected and laughed at Dark Buddhism, I am horrified at how I’m not horrified anymore. Now it just seems like a reasonable, milquetoast dharma.
“Enlightenment” is a western thing, taken from Christian writings, and I prefer to call it “Awakening”. If Rosenberg wants to return Buddhism to it’s nocturnal, unlit state, then he needn’t write a book at all. Buddhism began in the unlit lands of Asia, which was then ascribed the characteristics of light when transmitted to the West, but the unlit Buddhism never went away.
Are you lost?
The unlit lands of Asia, where a prayer the Buddha knew focuses on God as consuming fire. Unlit lands of Asia, where the life force is a metaphorical fire snake. Where did bro come from, when will he go?
oh god, no, the reviews on amazon of this book. oh no.
because clearly, sacred.
From dude’s bio: “He is a member of Mensa . . .”
Really all I needed to know about this guy.
From dude's bio: "He is a member of Mensa . . ."
Really all I needed to know about this guy.
Just saw _The Journey to the West_ at Constellation Theatre in DC… and am now trying to figure out what a bodhisattva of Dark Buddhism could possibly be….
<Pictures someone offering a group of Mensa Objectivists the square root of -1…..for a price>
Actually a lot of people grow out of other subcultures in highschool, but keep being goth for some reason.
http://www.theguardian.com/education/2011/oct/24/…
It makes me happy because now I don't feel like the only person who can't deal with not wearing black and likes collecting accessories from post halloween sales at nearly 30.