“How dare you put protective blanket on bed so I cannot shake my wet fur all over your pillows!”
THE GROWN-UP PUNKS PIECE IN THE GUARDIAN IS ABOUT LIFE AND AGING AND PASSION AND MEANING:
From 1977 to 1984, I was the lead vocalist for Crass. We toured the UK, playing gigs wherever and whenever we could. When Crass finished, I continued to perform and record with Conflict and later formed the bands Schwartzeneggar and Stratford Mercenaries.
In 2007, I moved to Norfolk with the intention of living quietly by the coast. I was going to sweep up leaves and all that sort of stuff – but it wasn’t to be. The year I moved, I got an offer to do two nights at Shepherd’s Bush Empire. With every gig I do, I like to donate to a cause. I knew the independent lifeboat service in Sea Palling is always desperate for funds, so I thought that was ideal: I could see where the money actually goes. They got about £1,000 and bought new life jackets that went on to save people’s lives.
The crew took me out on the boat, dressed me up in a drysuit, threw me overboard and picked me up, then asked, “So, what about joining?”
At first, I was very reluctant – I worried about the commitment and imagined that I would have to go on parade. The idea of some bloke looking me up and down and telling me off for not shaving properly went totally against my principles. But they were all scruffier than me. Now I’m a full-time member.
We’ll be talking to Moira Weigel next week about her new book Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating, and here is a great excerpt about how we started talking about our biological clocks and why:
The story of the biological clock is a story about science and sexism. It illustrates the ways that assumptions about gender can shape the priorities for scientific research, and scientific discoveries can be deployed to serve sexist ends. We are used to thinking about metaphors like “the biological clock” as if they were not metaphors at all, but simply neutral descriptions of facts about the human body. Yet, if we examine where the term came from, and how it came to be used, it becomes clear that the idea of the biological clock has as much to do with culture as with nature. And its cultural role was to counteract the effects of women’s liberation.
Sally Brampton has died, and it’s very very sad, and she wrote an excellent book (Shoot the Damn Dog) some years ago about the depression that ultimately took her life, and here is something she wrote about it, which I would skip reading if it’s not a good day for you to be reading about it:
Reading has always been my greatest joy and most constant pleasure. I have devoured books whole for as long as I can remember. I recall people having to shake me to get my attention when I was reading, remember my mother taking a book out of my hands and sending me out to play with the injunction to get some fresh air.
When I was severely depressed, I could not even get to the end of a simple sentence because I could not remember the beginning. Words, which I love, were no more than patterns on a page. Writing was nearly impossible. I tried to convince myself that I could still write, and set myself the task of keeping a journal of my days. Looking back, I see it is no more than fragments.
One of the fragments is this: It is a beautiful day. I stand on my balcony, high above a busy street, watching life pass me by. It is spring, a time of renewal, of new beginnings. I reach my hand out to the morning, try to imagine happiness, the simple pleasure of skin warmed by sunshine, the quiet joy of trees bursting into green leaf.
I feel nothing.
Our school of fish-humans is ready to learn, and the first rule of mermaiding is to smile. The second, like a mom yelling at her teenage daughter in church, is keeping one’s legs and knees glued together. The transition from human to mythical sea creature requires a deletion of joints; your body no longer creaks and bends, it moves like a worm, flicking from the chest to the torso to the hips in slow-motion.
We began the hour-long lesson by doing drills while holding onto the wall, trying to reprogram our brains to operate two legs as one. It takes a lot of core strength as well as some spine flexibility, like you’re trapped at an underwater disco doing an endless body roll. “Mermaiding is the best ab workout you’ve never heard about,” Mermaid Malibu tells us. “If your abs don’t hurt by tomorrow then I’ve done something wrong!”
oh gosh please listen to the good advice Ask a Manager is giving you:
I applied for the job of my dreams, no, the job of my life — the best job you can ever have in your wildest dreams! Long story short, I got rejected from the job. I was overly eager and contacted the lady who was the hiring manager. Anyway, I was looking at Craigslist and saw they have a few more openings. So I want to talk to the HR manger and address the situation and own up to my mistakes and make things better and right.
I need to do this for myself. I must just take charge and volunteer myself to do something uncomfortable and step outside my comfort zone. What do I do and say? As a side note, the HR manager told me I am no longer allowed to email the lady I was emailing, and if I do, they will take immediate action and may call the proper authorities.
I just do not know what to say. Is it best I just go in to his office and talk face to face or do I call or email if so what do I say and do?
Reaching the city will not be easy. It is in one of the most remote and inaccessible areas of Mexico and an archaeological mission would be costly.
“It’s always about money. Expedition costs are horribly expensive,” said Dr. Armand LaRocque, a specialist at the University of New Brunswick.
Scientists said they were astonished by the discovery and that it had been made by someone so young.
“What is fascinating about the project of William, is the depth of his research,” said Daniel de Lisle.
“Linking the position of stars and the location of a lost city and the use of satellite images on a tiny territory to identify the remains buried under dense vegetation, is quite exceptional.”
That cult piece Jezebel ran was B.A.N.A.N.A.S. and then some of the cultees showed up in the comments (this is a pretty low-grade cult as cults go so I am comfortable being a LITTLE jokey about it and also pushing traffic to a piece about how IT IS A CULT will dissuade people when they google this weirdo) and it was all amazing and this bit in the comments pretty much proved the piece for me:
AND I could write another book about how amazing Hot School is! International really does help us women not act out all crazy on men and focus on giving good experiences to men. Which gives us women an amazing experience in return. International taught me that men like to help women and how to receive the help instead of get all awkward and shut it down how I use to. And International taught me how to tell a man how much I appreciate the help he offers me. It’s amazing how much my experience has changed from learning how to do this. If you under-the-surface have a problem with men (which many women do) then it makes sense why you’d lash out and spew venom about Hot School, because these women are unwilling to think about what would make a guy feel really great, and just try it out, and have an experience of telling a guy how awesome he is when he helps them. It’s as simple of that but some women get so triggered by the idea of saying something like that to a man which is pretty intense. So they bash Hot School and try to blame Hot School or SSM for their horrible relationships. I am in the most incredible relationship ever and you should interview my fiance if you want to hear more of the truth of how amazing our relationship is. It feels like these sad, not-hot women are spiraling out in a bunch of crap and drama.
This is not how anything works:
Back when my husband and I were dating, I cheated on him (there were extenuating circumstances, but I still greatly regret it). We’ve now been married a number of years. I thought we had worked through things more or less, though I’ve never been certain he completely trusts me. Recently, he brought up the fact that he’d like to open our marriage. I’m clear I don’t want this—if nothing else, the toxic stew of jealousy and hurt around the cheating episode convinced me. When I said I wasn’t comfortable with an open relationship, he told me I was a hypocrite and have no legitimate objection because of the cheating episode. I feel rotten about the pain I caused my husband but don’t want to be bullied into polyamory or constantly punished for something that happened in the past. Is it time to walk away?
I am not a Parrothead but I love enthusiasm and stanning more than all things, so this lady is chill in my book.
Nicole is an Editor of The Toast.