This is Mallory, letting you all know that Nicole is away in Canada for the week and will not be doing link roundup!
“Wow, sounds like she’s already pretty checked out.”
HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME, NICOLE IS THE BEST ONE OF ALL OF US
Trees are gently moving while we sleep, we already know that, but are they doing it on purpose?
For the first time, trees have been shown to undergo physical changes at night that can be likened to sleep, or at least to day-night cycles that have been observed experimentally in smaller plants.
Branches of birch trees have now been seen drooping by as much as 10 centimetres at the tips towards the end of the night.
“It was a very clear effect, and applied to the whole tree,” says András Zlinszky of the Centre for Ecological Research in Tihany, Hungary. “No one has observed this effect before at the scale of whole trees, and I was surprised by the extent of the changes.”
So is the drooping deliberate, dictated by an active sleep-night cycle, or passive, dictated by differences in the availability of water and light? “This remains to be decided,” says Zlinszky.
Cave news, I will click on anything with the word cave in the title:
The show focuses on the Mogao Grottoes, China’s greatest cache of Buddhist wall paintings and sculptures. Carved into the face of a cliff near the city of Dunhuang between the 4th and 14th centuries, the art-filled caves reside on the southwest edge of the Gobi Desert. But remote and isolated as it may be, Dunhuang grew up as an oasis on the web of ancient trade routes known collectively as the Silk Road, evolving into a political, military and economic center, as well as a gateway to the West.
I will never understand the Google News algorithm, but okay
*
My magical week at a massive bikini-clad festival for queer women of color
(image via)
I had a pal in college who could conceivably have answered “unsure” to the engagement ring question! He bought his girlfriend a ring that he just thought was pretty and gave it to her as a just-because present and by the next day she had set up an appointment to try on dresses and was asking him questions about their wedding colors. And then he just kind of… went along with it?
I feel like this happens way more often than people are willing to admit.
I know a couple who are now happily married, but one thought they were engaged when the other did not. (It was the result of a statement along the lines of “I’ve got a proposal I’d like to make to you” – the speaker did not mean a proposal of marriage, but that’s how the listener interpreted it. Cue confusion when the actual proposal happened.)
I could easily imagine a situation where I got married purely to avoid embarrassment. (I’m basically the female version of Mark from “Peep Show”).
i have literally read fanfictions with this exact plot
Went along with it as in actually fully got married???
Was just coming down to ask same! ?!
Mhmmm.
…How did that go?
They are still together but continue to be a cautionary tale about clarity of intention, as well as a stellar example of why not to air your private disputes in public.
THAT
Goodness me.
Ok, but at what stage in all of this did she find out it was an accident? Did she? If you know, she must know, right?
That would require special tools like reasonably good observational skills and common sense.
Ooh, I like you 🙂
That is a man who truly does not give a shit.
YIKES YIKES YIKES
This is incredible. Was it an engagement-y ring, or is she going to find out one day that it was cubic zirconia and gold fill? Not that dia-monds are necessary for matrimony, but it could be a rude surprise she thought it was Engagement Jewelry and it turns out it’s one of Claire’s fancier costume options.
The idea of an adult male walking around Claire’s by himself looking for something for his girlfriend is greatly amusing me.
It’s also making me uncomfortable for all of the tween girls who would be in the store at the same time.
He’d be getting a lot of side-eye from the cashiers. I guess he could ask for help. “I need earrings for my daughter. She’s twelve and likes purple.” But a random man lurking in Claire’s? Not good.
To my knowledge it does contain a dia-mond, but I wouldn’t necessarily look at it and be like “yes, this certainly constitutes an implicit contract to bind my future to the man who gave this to me with no explanation required!”
I’ve wondered how “unsure” can be an answer and this explains it. I’m acquainted with two men who each have been married multiple times, and both claim that one of the marriages “just happened.” I don’t know either of them well enough to get in their business about how marriage can just happen, like a sunrise or the tides. Where is the consent? discussion? active participation towards the ceremony?
I think it is possible to have a marriage that is not well-discussed or thought-out that happens due to external circumstances (e.g. need for health insurance, green cards, etc.) that could credibly described as “just happening.” Not that these would be the result of the world’s most excellent judgment, but said marriages could still be essentially entered into in good faith, and to characterize them as “just happening” would not be either disingenuous or bullshit after-the-fact dude logic.
I also know people who got married because “Eh, seemed like the thing to do after [length of time | significant life event].” Which baffles and terrifies me, but hey, rich tapestry, and I could see them describing it as “just happening”.
I don’t personally think that’s so terrible. A marriage is just a relationship with legal status, so if you’re happy with and intending to stay in the relationship, and it’s been working after x amount of time indicating it has longevity, why not give it legal status?
My brother spent most of his 29th/30th year explaining to me that he really thought it was time to get married and have kids already, while I mumbled “uh . . . huh . . . ” and tried to think of ways to end the phone call(s). He met and married my sister-in-law within about a year.
They seem to be happy and I do appreciate him providing babies for me to auntie, but a little part of me still side-eyes the hell out of them.
Why? I mean, not for me, but deciding that you want to have a major life milestone and then going for it is the normal way to go about things afaik.
“(e.g. need for health insurance, green cards, etc.)”
Those seem like really good reasons to get married, actually, compared with some of the more common half-assed reasons. (e.g., “Sure, we’re having problems right now, but getting married will fix everything!”)
Agreed, but I think that it’s only a good idea if it’s someone you wanted to be married to anyway, and the circumstances just give you a push to actually do it. Vs. someone you probably don’t want to get married to in the long term, but there are precipitating circumstances, and you don’t think it through very well.
We got married because my boyfriend’s cats did not really accept me as a permanent part of his life. I figured it would fix everything. Sadly, if I had consulted with a feline lawyer beforehand, I would have known that cats accept no human contracts as legally binding according to cat law. Oh well I guess.
They often accept regular feeding in lieu of contracts, though!
…and either way, I think these are marriages that could genuinely be characterized as “just happening” that wouldn’t just be someone trying to justify it to themselves after the fact.
also getting married for a green card takes a lot of work and time. at least 18 months from getting engaged to receiving the green card, with a wedding in between. i would argue that a green card marriage may involve more planning and thought than a good (20?) percentage of marriages in my social circle. (obviously i am someone who is legitimately married to a foreigner who i love deeply who also just obtained his green card FINALLY)
I, too, am married to a green card fella and can attest to the work and time. That’s not even mentioning the money *sigh* But that accent, though…
TBH, I am still unsure if my ex-husband ever actually proposed to me. He bought me a diamond ring. He had me try it on on my left ring finger. He was a terribly passive person (and awful in other ways, too!) so I kind of took it from there. I ought not to have done so.
Marriages have been made for worse reasons.
If Ted and Heidi Cruz are any indication. Though even still no one can figure out what the reason is.
Apparently when my sister-in-law married my brother-in-law, his whole family was baffled because he was such a jerk they supposed no one would ever marry him. Thus began the strange icy Calvinist matrimony saga that is their life and is disturbingly difficult to witness, no matter how quietistically white and normal and suburban it appears to be.
As much as everyone who’s ever met Cruz seems to passionately hate him, I do wonder if he has a side that operates effectively as a married person.
Wait. How does…how are they *both* your in-laws? Like, your husband’s sister married your…um…ex-husband’s brother…or…no, that doesn’t work. Help!
I thought that only happened in P.G. Wodehouse novels! Except Bertie Wooster always managed to get out of accidental engagement situations.
And in extenuation, most of Bertie’s engagement problems stem from girls assuming that, once a proposal is made and rejected, they can always take it up again at their leisure.
This is what happens when you don’t have a Jeeves to help you out. You just have to get married and suck it up forever.
I knew someone who joke-proposed with the top of a Coke can and the woman took it seriously. (They broke up before the actual wedding.) At least your pal’s girl was confused about an actual ring?
My mum can also be in the ‘unsure’ category because she definitely received a ring as a symbol of her engagement to be married… But it was a plastic curtain ring because my dad is a dweeb
When you say the trees are moving, you don’t mean they’re going somewhere or– or coming for me, right? Right?
Right??
Relax, they are just going to the Entmoot. Slowly, of course.
They’re on their way to high Dunsinane hill.
Then they’re definitely coming for someone!
It’s not the trees you have to worry about, it’s the witches*
*Toast commenters
Trees are too witches.
I love you.
Are you an orc, uruk or other unholy minion of an evil capitalist wizard?
Is that a rhetorical question?
The trees are really Ents, aren’t they? I KNEW IT. #frodolives
Even though I definitely got the reference, I read that hashtag as “frod olives” and that I did not get.
A frod is the collective term for mobile olive trees.
Well, you learn something new everyday.
(And btw I made an attractive noise I would describe as a “snirkle” when I read that, and then I got sad that the Toast is going away, and then grateful for having a place where someone would tell me something perfect like that a frod is collective term for mobile olive trees, which I will save for later for telling someone else, with complete seriousness, so they aren’t sure if I’m joking).
Maybe this is where the Entwives live.
They look like Ents but ain’t.
The Huorns are coming
They’ve invented a portable TENS machine for period cramps in case anyone is interested
https://www.buzzfeed.com/laraparker/we-tried-a-de…
I only really care because I have a niece called Livia and I can’t wait to tell her mother about this and watch her head explode.
Livia is an A+ name, why would mum be mad about ths?
Also – is anyone else skeptical about this product? Or is it legit and I am too skeptical for my own good?
I think its gonna be more Daughters Name = Something to do with periods, ewwwwww. (Mother is very invested being ‘normal’ and doesn’t like things that step out of the ‘normal’ boundaries and I like messing with it. Her son looks fabulous in lipstick)
I like the idea of it, but its nothing new really; there’s been portable TENS machines around for ages, lots of them are specifically for pregnancy and contractions. It looks like they’ve just made it smaller, less expensive and ‘pretty’. Sounds like they may have made them a bit weaker than a regular TENS though, which would be annoying, its essentially just a buzzing patch then. If I every go off the pill and have au naturale periods again I might look into something like this
Ahahaha, I love messing with normies too, sounds like you are ON TOP of this game. <3
I have a TENS belt and it is magic for my back injury. It doesn’t do anything for the ‘injury site’ pain which is nerve pain, but it really helps relax the crampy spasmy muscles all round it, and that in itself helps because the joint that is hitting the nerve in the first place can get back to its normal alignment if it’s not being pushed out of place by spasming muscles.
Although it’s a different set of muscles cramping, it’s the same principal and it really works for me.
TENS units/machines really can help some people with some types of pain, really truly. SCIENCE! etc etc.
Whether any particular unit is going to be powerful enough/customizeable enough/easy enough to use/etc etc etc for YOU to get relief from a particular ache or pain is a totally different question, and feel free to be super skeptical on that one.
I just wanted to say that, in addition to a personal TENS review of Five Stars for back spasms, for anyone who is a little freaked out by the idea it’s so cool and feels like a bellagio water display in miniature on your muscles.
I mention this because I was freaked out but in so much pain I didn’t think it could be any worse and then it didn’t hurt at all and felt really nice! NB only experience was with physical therapists office setup so most of them aren’t even that strong.
Can’t top the idea of marijuana tampons for cramps. I really want to try those.
I tried Foria suppositories a couple of months ago and they worked pretty well, but… they are expensive enough to make me hesitant about using them for 1-3 days every month, the directions for insertion are more logistically awkward than inserting a tampon, inserting one initially made my cramps more painful in the same way that tampons do, and I think a combination of weed edibles, weed topicals, and smoking weed might be more effective. (I have gotten surprisingly effective relief from using a cannabis infused salve externally.)
TENS machines feel like tiny goblin hand massages and I could totally go for that during my period.
My sister is named Lydia and my grandmother dislikes it to this day because it sounds too much like chlamydia.
Livia as a name was probably already ruined for most people due to Livia Soprano (i.e., Tony’s horrible mother from “The Sopranos”).
I am generally pretty chill about my whiteness, but Jesus Henry Christ do I wish I were eligible for that WLWoC bikini fest.
same 🙁
(note to self: at least get more/better tats.)
Right? I wonder if the whole place is booked or if I could “accidentally” plan my vacation for the same time and place….
You could go to A-Camp! Not this year because it’s full, but someday. It has white people and pool parties, hence also bikinis.
Sleeping trees sounds adorable. I’m going with that conclusion.
Beneath a roof of sleeping leaves the dreams of trees unfold
If I’m getting my Tolkein right
I actually feel really sad about birch trees drooping at night, as though night time is the only time it can feel ‘real’ with its emotions… and oh god I’m projecting onto a tree now.
Do not fret! The birches are just letting their hair down and changing into their figurative sweatpants after a long day of looking good.
Birch sweatpants! I love the Toast
Now I would like a pair of sweatpants that make my legs look like birch trees.
ME TOO
<googles birchbark print leggings>
society6 probably has some
The birches are removing their bra!
Truly the best feeling in the world
For people interested in archaeology, the Silk Road, the Mogao caves, and colonialism, Foreign Devils on the Silk Road is a fantastic place to start.
yes. I AM INTERESTED IN ALL OF THOSE THINGS.
yesssss thank you
I would love to read more about the Silk Road and all of the major cities along it, I feel like my knowledge of Central Asian history is -73%.
gah, very OT, but i’m freaking out because there is a house going up directly next to ours and the crew has been starting up their saws etc a leetle bit earlier every morning, and so this morning when they started at 7:13am i decided enough was enough and i went out and told the guy that they’re not supposed to be using power tools before 8am. (in theory, you are supposed to call 911 when someone is violating the noise ordinance, i guess?? but that seemed like so much overkill/a huge waste of emergency services.) he acted like he was totally surprised by this. but if you work construction you MUST know what the local noise ordinances are. also it was hard to read social cues as i was shouting to be heard over the equipment. but now i’m terrified that they are going to retaliate in some passive aggressive way.
Ohhhh I feel you on this one. I’ve got builders outside right now who feel the need to do their sawing and drilling in the street because *apparently* the house is too small to accommodate their big manly machinery (cannot roll my eyes hard enough). I really want to say something about how they are taking up the pavement, making it hard for pedestrians, not to mention how two of them just sit outside all day doing fuck all, smoking and leering at women who walk past. I’ve seen women cross the street to avoid them, and since they’ve been here I’ve been trying to dress very inconspicuously and avoid the windows more during the day. Ugh.
I never know what to do about noise complaints, and I think you did the right thing ultimately. If they are passive aggressive with you, can you go to the foreman?
Sending hugs!
ugh. thank you. i think this guy is the foreman, perhaps? i called the dude who i thought was in charge and he told me this other guy was supervising, who i think is the one i talked to. which is part of why i think he was just fucking with me when he was like “8am? what?” but yeah. i mean i don’t REALLY feel unsafe, but there is something i find structurally very scary about being a woman who most days is in the house alone all day, with this crew of unknown men working next door, and i had to (or chose to) go confront them. i think i am fine and it’s the less overt stuff they could do that i’m worried about — throwing trash over the fence, staying super late instead of getting here super early, “accidentally” knocking into my house, etc. etc.
In my experience, if the actual site manager is not present, construction workers don’t really know what any official ordinances are and are particularly terrible about thinking through consequences if they are adjacent to finished residences. My parents are the most confrontation – adverse people in the world, but after moving into a half built neighborhood last fall, every other week they have a new story about how the construction crew left a piece of machinery idling right outside their back fence for hours so the exhaust filled the backyard or walked across their driveway with a rag dripping wet paint or whatever. I think they are on a first name basis with the people in the developer’s office now.
Tl;dr they probably aren’t malicious just not thinking about an inhabited residence next door, but complain as much as necessary.
Seconding your TL;DR!
this makes sense, but i mean, we are RIGHT next door — i’m in chicago, so the wall of the house they’re building is like 4 feet from our wall. you may be right that they just didn’t think about it, and if so i’m glad i said something and hopefully it will resolve the situation — but i kind of think they knew and were just hoping we wouldn’t call them on it.
I think there is a lot of seeing what they can get away with in these situations–if no-one complains, hey, they can get away with it! But if someone does complain, oh well, guess they gotta stick by the stupid rules. I think their anger, if any, generally gets directed at “bureaucrats at city hall” rather than individuals.
I typically call 311 in these kinds of cases, because not an “emergency” exactly.
i thought about that, but i looked the thing up online and it very specifically says you are supposed to call 911 (WHILE the violation is in progress, so obviously the time has passed anyway). i guess partly because they can’t verify the violation unless they get someone out right away in order to check that it is in fact happening when you said it was? i also felt like i would rather not like bring in The Law unless i absolutely had to, because these guys have been fairly courteous otherwise and i didn’t/don’t want them to super resent us, so i felt like just pointing out the situation myself was the better option to start with.
Weird! I guess it makes some sense because of the time-sensitive aspect, but it still seems odd to me that they would want to use 911 for noise complaints!
agree completely, i was skeptical
I once called 311 about a car alarm that wouldn’t stop going off and they transferred me to 911. Apparently noise really does fall into 911 territory!
I think sometimes it depends on time and staffing, too. I’ve called our non-emergency line here for noise complaints and gotten the 911 dispatcher, and when I say, “I’m sorry, I called the non-emergency line,” they (I assume) shrug and tell me that all calls get transferred to 911.
I don’t work in construction, just in an adjacent field, so take this with a grain of salt. Yes, the workers may be crotchety or inconsiderate. I am a young woman who visits construction sites and has to tell guys to change this, redo that, and while I’ve never been berated I’ve gotten my fair share of the stink eye.
You may want to try speaking with the site supervisor/foreman about the noise – they are usually better with people, more conscious of professionalism, and they’re keenly aware of noise ordinances and the like. You could also try phoning the contractor company – whatever company is on the side of the trucks or the sign in the yard. I imagine they wouldn’t want a less-than-professional work crew to tarnish their image, so they might be a good resource.
eta: Oh, I see now that you already contacted the site supervisor. Bummer. If he’s useless, then I guess 311/911 might be your best bet.
we’ll see what happens! they did turn the saws off for the remaining 13 minutes till 8am, so that felt like a victory i guess?
When I had to deal with a similar issue I looked up the permit online (most major cities allow you to look up building permits by address somewhere online, they are public record) and contacted the contractor’s contact person with a “your workers are violating noise ordinances and I’d sure hate to have to call the city,” got a very apologetic email and never had a problem the rest of the time. So that’s a low confrontation option. Otherwise 311 or your city’s code compliance number is the way to go.
Oh man, 8am, I’m jealous. In Seattle they can start as early as 7am on weekdays, 9am on weekends.
About a year after I moved into my current apartment, they tore down the houses next door and built a huge apodment building, and it took *forever*. I’m on the 3rd floor and would wake up to construction dudes working right across from my window, which was weird and unpleasant. They were good about not starting until 7am (but they’d start at 7am ON THE DOT every day so they obviously knew) except for one time some guy was sawing at 6:30am and so I got to go yell out of my kitchen window to a guy in another window 5 feet from me which was the most satisfying moment of the entire period. He claimed he’d been just about to go talk to the guy doing the sawing (suuuuure you were, buddy) and it stopped.
I’m not really going anywhere with this story but man that was a year and a half of hell and I guess I just wanted to complain some more retroactively.
oh i’m sorry. this makes me feel better actually! they’ve been progressing fast (they just started digging the foundation like six weeks ago and they’re already up to the roof??) and they’ve generally not been super annoying — they leave early a lot, etc etc. but, even the little things can really get to you when it’s like a team of dudes inhabiting your space or something very close to it, right? most recently i’m irritated that they used rust-able wire to secure the chain link to the posts on the construction fence, and the wires keep rusting and falling on my walkway/lawn, so there are just sharp bits of rusty wire everywhere x-( such a small issue but so pervasive. same with the 7:13 wake-up call.
AAAAhhhh, that’s so frustrating! That’s the other annoying thing about construction, it’s so ugly with bits and pieces of construction stuff lying all over the place. Perhaps you can ask the site manager to make sure that when they are done, they come over and pick up any/all pieces of construction-related detritus? Then again that would mean having construction dudes tromping through your yard which could be bad if you have any nice flowers or etc.
I am beyond jealous of your 8am noise start. Here its 7am and we have had a team across the road for the last 9 months 1) demolishing the old house 2) jackhammering out bedrock 3) building two new houses 3) jackhammering out some more bedrock because they messed up the first time 4) digging up the road, all starting at 7 on the dot.
They are also demolishing a warehouse complex around the corner and that one is done at night to not disturb the commuting traffic but does mean there are floodlights and trucks taking out rubble from 10pm-6am…
I miss sleep is what I am saying
I am so sorry I will never complain again!! D-:
No no! I wasn’t trying to top you or invalidate! It was an attempt at conveying understanding and or sympathy! Poorly done.
Poos.
*finds some dirt to kick, stubs toe on truck*
Teasing, teasing. Yours does trump mine, though! Compatriots in adversity?
Absolutely.
My entire street is united in irritation and deathstares at the builders, who also steal any available parking and then double park.
Oh Sydney you are so beautiful and so very noisy.
In our last (ever??) rented apartment last summer (before we bought our own forever home), the landlords were doing massive renovations on their own unit *directly* upstairs from our bedroom, and would start earlier and earlier, including Saturdays. I went up and told them to knock it off at 6:45 AM more than once.
God, I was so glad when we moved. I didn’t get a decent amount of sleep for months.
Hijacking Link Roundup real quick to say thank you all to the amazing response to my post on Friday’s OT. To those who emailed I’ll let you know when the site goes live. I had no idea if there would be any interest in such a thing and I am encouraged and bolstered by your support.
I missed the OT last Friday so I had to go look to see what you were talking about. I’m 1000% in favor of you doing this! Sounds awesome. 🙂
Ditto – i was on the road. What site? Where?
Deets on last week’s OT. I’m the 12th post down from the top of the first page if you sort by Date.
Well, if you will beguile us with HiddleGifs, you know we will follow you anywhere.
Definitely in favor!
I don’t think, on reflection, that I actually responded to the core idea of that post, so let me do so here:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
I had to go look it up, because I also missed OT. This is awesome! Way to go! I will totally be reading and following and everything. Get ready, YOU WILL BE BOOKMARKED.
I also missed Friday’s Link Roundup and am very in favour of our own personal CleverMankaNet! This is the bestest idea ever.
I finally started watching Bob’s Burgers! I haven’t yet been able to get over how disconcerting it is that Bob sounds like Archer.
Linda’s B&B episode was so hard for me to watch. Linda! You can’t be both a hotel and a Regency hostess! If you want people to drink wine and play boardgames with you, JUST ASK SOME FRIENDS TO COME OVER. Don’t trick unwitting strangers into entertaining you (and being entertained by you). Staying at a B&B like that is my personal nightmare.
I can’t watch it because of the Archer-ness of Bob. I love Archer so much that it just annoys me watching Bobs Burgers because its not Archer and new Archer comes too bloody slowly.
I love H. Jon Benjamin’s voice so much! Every time I think “oh god” I think it in Bob’s voice.
Same.
Congratulations on welcoming our lord and savior, Bob’s Burgers, into your life.
The real problem is that you are never sure whether or not you want to have sex with H. Jon Benjamin.
That is my real problem, at least.
Have you seen the Archer/BB crossover?
Also, I started watching BB thinking that Tina was the most compelling character because of Tumblr memes, but Louise is incredibly fun to watch, above and beyond the Kristen Schaalness.
Also too, this thing.
No, I’m only partway through season 1 of BB at the moment.
I know! I hear so much about Tina, and I do like her, but I love the little chaos demon that is Louise. Her father was stuck in the wall so she invited classmates over to hold a séance!
Louise is the best. In life I am a Tina with a Louise streak, but I love Louise best. #rolemodel
But Gene, though. Gene is a precious jewel.
In life I am a Tina with a Louise streak
I hate it, but if I’m honest with myself I have to admit I’m Bob.
My boyfriend likes to tell me that I am Bob and he is Linda.
And Coach McGurk.
Person of Interest peeps! Apparently CBS has elected to air three episodes this week–one on Monday and two on Tuesday.
Just to confuse the boomers even more! Thanks for the reminder–must tell my dad…
I watch too, but if I miss stuff I can always find it later on the computer.
Yeah, the only reason I keep up with this weird schedule is tumblr.
I watch them on the internet the day after they air, too, but I’m sure the two episodes on Tuesday would have really tripped me up.
WHAT? Three episodes in one week is a LOT. I have an amazon season pass (thankfully, I’d never keep up otherwise) but geez.
Yep, thank goodness for DVR. And for my Tuesday night plans getting canceled so I can be traumatized by POI for two hours instead.
Whaaaat? I’m only just caught up after my holiday! Also there’s only like…fifteen? Episodes this series? At least this means we’ll get to the finale while there’s still a toast to discuss it on I guess.
Yeah, CBS has been jerking PoI around so much. This season is reduced and they kept refusing to give us an airdate. Now that it is on air, I guess they’re trying to get rid of it as quickly as possible. It’s ridiculous 🙁
Yeah, I’m certain they’re just trying to get it aired and done with. It’s not their property, they aren’t renewing it, so I doubt they care too much about the ratings.
My feller and I were at a botanical garden this fall and we were musing on if trees were self aware, and he pointed out if we someday find out that they have greater consciousness than humans…then bonsai are extremely horrific and the whole concept of a botanical garden is traumatizing.
Well if plants have a greater consciousness than humans, then we have many, many things to rethink about life on earth.
it’s very true. Atkins diets all around!
Tamora Pierce, in her books set in Emelan, explores some of the consequences of if bonsai trees have some sort of limited understanding of what’s going on around them.
The pine shakkan!
Did you ever read that horrifying Roald Dahl story about the guy who invents special headphones that can pick up plants making noises (e.g., screaming)?
Oh god no. He’s the most Horrifying. Also my first name is Mrs Peel’s first name, because my parents were watching the Avengers the week before I was born.
A++, excellent naming
My ex-boyfriend’s mum was a nurse and a very efficient, no-nonsense sort of person and I was always sort of terrified of her until my ex told me she secretly really hated bonsai trees because she was worried it was “tree torture”. I like her much better after that!
it takes a plant to show our true humanity…(nods sagely, fakes a mystical look of wisdom)
I took down part of a tree yesterday and was very unaware how much live phloem looks and feels like human skin. Between that and the sleeping trees I feel like I should go apologize and maybe double check that all my doors are locked.
Look how cool the woman who plays Lucca in The Good Wife is! I had no idea: http://www.theguardian.com/stage/2016/may/23/cush…
so cool
Is it passé yet to talk about Game of Thrones?
Because: off topic obviously, but I have a whole shitass lot of feelings to work through today.
ETA: nvm, not off topic, trees are terrifying
No, not passé! I, for one, want to hear about all your feels. I am never caught up, and so have silenced everyone I know who usually talks GoT on social. But I actually watched last night, so now have come to regret this decision! Tell me what you are feeling!
Okay! So!
Clearly they’ve stepped up their game with the ladiez, first of all, and even managed to do it in a way that doesn’t feel like pandering. While I’m disappointed that Sansa didn’t have Littlefinger killed, because that’s what I want to happen more than anything else in the series, the way she made him stand there and acknowledge what he did to her without offering him forgiveness or any kind of way off the hook was really beautiful and gut-wrenching.
AND SPEAKING OF GUT-WRENCHING I don’t think I’ve ever really been moved by a shocking! twist! in this show before that last scene. It was set up and executed so well that you almost forget that in Bran’s previous vision we find out where the White Walkers came from because you’re so busy being devastated.
So yeah, feelings!
Oh man, Sansa confronting Littlefinger was amaaaazing. I hope she kept him alive temporarily so she can use him, THEN have Brienne kill him.
I know, I am loving Team Sansa and Brienne. And the lady warrior who stole the ships! (Sorry I have no idea what anyone’s name is on this show) The ladiez are really killing it this season!
There was kind of a lot of peen talk last night too though! The two dudes who are missing their junk both heard a lot about that fact from new characters. And the up close look of the warty junk of the dude in the play was maybe a lot to take.
The Vulture recap writer described it as an “aggressively tongue-in-cheek” response to the outcry over gratuitous female nudity in seasons past, which I think is accurate. Maybe not so tongue-in-cheek, and just aggressive? It does raise an interesting question by reminding you (me) that men’s anatomy just isn’t that great to look at and maybe equal-genitalia-screen time shouldn’t be the aim.
Ooh, will have to check that out. Yeah, I think tongue-in-cheek is unfairly generous. Just aggressive!
Ooh, see, I’m so glad she didn’t have him killed. That’s what Dany would have done, or Cersei. I love that Sansa might not default to the death sentence the way it seems all the other men and women of Westeros and beyond do. If Sansa can grow up so much and still have an aversion to death, I’m down for that.
You know, you’re probably right about that– I’m really not a bloodthirsty person in real life or anything, and it’s nice to see people accomplish things without murder.
I think my attachment to this murderdream mostly stems from how he causes so much horrific shit to happen but always always gets away with it, and how deeply satisfying it would be to see Sansa, who’s survived so much trauma in her life (pretty much all of it because of him) to be the one to finally put a stop to it.
(ETA but of course maybe that’s her endgame, and for now she’s keeping him alive just so that she can be the one using him for a change)
I think it’s good to not take his troops or let him help because he’s such a menace. But for that reason I also think if anyone were to be murdered right quick, its him. Its like the scene in Austin Powers where he’s like, “lets just shoot him right now dad” and Dr Evil is all, “no no, lets seal him in with sharks with lasers, and not even watch.” With littlefinger I feel like it’s dangerous to let him talk, think, move, anything. Kicking him out is the most smart of all the choices that aren’t killing him RIGHT NOW.
I just am SO OVER Arya and her stick fighting. Like, if she’s going to actually become a faceless man (faceless girl?), couldn’t that transformation be completed in 15 episodes? And if she’s NOT going to renounce her Stark identity (which 99% of me believes)… just grab Needle and get out of there, girl!
I think she’s going to go with the actors. Richard E Grant and Essie Davis and Kevin Eldon (I don’t actually know this guy but I know the other two and when I looked them up everyone else was like, oh hey Kevin Eldon) are in the troupe. Even if she kills Essie Davis, you don’t put Richard Grant in a team just to go “oh no you killed Essie Davis!”
Whatever, I still want to talk about it. I didn’t see the Bran stuff coming, I thought for sure he’d be underground all season. Euron is the absolute worst, which is saying something for this show.
Who is on your deathwatch? I’m thinking Baelish and Jorah. It might be wishful thinking but I don’t think either will make it through the season.
definitely jorah. i mean he finally got validation from daenerys! and as we know, as soon as one reaches happiness in GoT they must die
Its ok I am imagining if he reaches Dany she would see right through him and just take his ships after burning him alive in one.
That was all my thoughts on the books when people went to marry Dany. She has DRAGONS and is RUTHLESS. SHE HAS NOT EVEN ONE RUTH
It is my dream and sole unwavering prediction for the series that Sansa will kill Littlefinger, hopefully with her own bare hands (but I’ll settle for a Brienne-assisted homicide). I need it to happen.
I keep thinking that the High Sparrow is not long for this world.
I feel like King’s Landing is due for some deaths for sure, I just don’t know who they’ll be. I think at least GM Pycell but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the High Sparrow too. Or honestly any of them at this point.
You mean, fantasy Bernie Sanders?
My theory is that this is the Season that Kings Landing is done for. I think when Dany had the vision of walking through the great hall filled with snow, that this is what’s coming this season. The fight between the reglious dudes and the tyrell forces will destroy the city, and only a few lannisters and tyrells are getting out- maybe the tyrell siblings, cersei, jamie, zombie knight and creepy old scientist.
Here’s a question: didn’t Stannis figure out a way to stop Shireen’s Greyscale? So I’m wondering if Jorah is going to stumble upon that cure.
As for deathwatch, I’m afraid Tommen’s going to get the axe before the season’s out. Cersei’s prophecy DID say she’d watch all of her children die.
Tommen.
Right?! Frankly, I am surprised he has lasted this long.
Hodor AND Summer in one episode? I can’t 🙁
The body count this season is out of control.
I’m so bummed about Summer. And Shaggydog. The direwolves, man!
I’m currently holding out hope that the head wasn’t really Shaggydog’s, and that Osha sacrificed herself in service of a long con being carried out by the Umbers. Maybe everything will be okay? Maybe Nymeria will swoop in and save the day, and birth a litter of replacement wolfpuppies for all the Starks that lost theirs?
I heard that they didn’t kill them off this fast in the books, but they can’t afford the CGI for the wolves, so they’re really looking to trim down.
oh god oh god OH GOD as soon as meera yelled “warg into hodor!” i kind of shrieked “!!! OH MY GOD” and burst into tears that i did not think could get much worse until
oh you know when
I had no idea the human body could hold as much dread as I dreaded in that last scene.
Unpopular opinion (in some parts of the internet): This season is better now that we’re not using written material anymore, Arya excepted.
I feel like the show finally has momentum and purpose now that it isn’t weighed down by Martin’s terrible writing.
Also yes, the feeling as all of those story elements collapsed into that single moment was DEVASTATING. Is that the first character death to have legitimate meaning in the story? (and emotional impact like whoa…) I’m working through my understanding of what happened there, and what keeps making it more tragic for me is that the character’s death was not exactly a noble, consensual sacrifice…
Maybe an unpopular opinion, but I completely agree. It feels like things are actually starting to move towards a conclusion rather than endless setup.
Not unpopular! I was just telling a friend that last night. They aren’t saddled by the “right” plots and this season is soooo much better. And the pacing is so much better since we don’t have to wait 6 episodes for things to happen. I agree with you on Hodor’s death… it really feels like that’s on Bran and Meera, that they forced it on him. Hodor wasn’t in control of himself, didn’t choose that, and so I felt his death much more than I felt most of the others. 🙁
I didn’t even think of it that way. That DOES make it even more of a bummer. 🙁 I only saw it as Hodor’s ultimate destiny was to do that thing in that time and place, going back to his childhood. But now…
Yeah, only death in the whole series that actually rent a tear from me.
I’m a little more forgiving of Meera, it seems like she really took it to heart when Leaf told her she’d have to protect Bran once they left, and she took the only out she could see. Bran, though…dude was reckless with his powers and got them into that situation, and fucked up Hodor’s entire life getting out of it.
🙁 Not to mention fucked up his own destiny because now he has to figure out how to quell the White Walkers without the Blood Raven’s guidance.
Definitely the first death I’ve felt the day after. There is a whoooole lot to parse in there.
And I agree to an extent– last season was kind of clumsy and dull while they were laying the groundwork for this one, which is clearly paying off, but maybe if they’d had more source material to work from, they could’ve put their pieces in place in a more entertaining fashion?
That said, I don’t really even care anymore, season 5 is over now and it doesn’t matter
I entirely agree! Last season was dreadful (I actually skipped most of the middle of the season), but this season is excellent. It feels like it’s actually going somewhere, finally.
Yep. Confession: I didn’t watch a single episode last season and I’m going to continue to pretend like it didn’t even happen. So many terrible decisions that I’m just not going to support with my viewership.
I was actually resigned to completely quitting the show and the books alike, until this season to a turn for the awesome.
Good choice. It was dreadful.
This season is so much better. At first I thought it was just because they’re out of book material so I’m not just waiting for the next big thing I know is coming. But I totally agree, the show does feel like it has momentum finally.
Also women are doing things! Other than prostitution and/or being raped! I don’t know if that’s in response to the outrage over last season or if it has more to do with leaving the books behind but whatever, I’ll take it.
Nope, definitely better without the books. I think as with any adaptation, people who love the original just want the show to stay true to the books. But as someone who hasn’t read the books, and can only go off of the shows, this season is SO GOOD
I feel this way in terms of the plot finally feeling like it’s going somewhere instead of endlessly circling around random places and people who will soon die, but on the other hand, I kind of feel like the writing this season is exceptionally lazy. Example: we don’t find out what’s going on in the tower because Bran can’t stay in the past longer for Unexplained Important Reason. It just feels like a cheap plot device. I’m fine with plot devices, but must they be so obvious? The other place was when the Red Lady resurrects Jon Snow with a ‘please’ and a haircut, when it took birthing a smoke monster to kill someone and burning a child to clear a storm, and when Dany had to lose her child, the Khal, and burn that woman to get the dragons.
I don’t know. I appreciate that the plot is finally going somewhere, but I’m also kind of irked.
OH ALSO how could I forget about our first lingering, up-close dick shot?
Sure, it was for “examining suspicious bumps” and not “sexy genitalia” reasons, but I’ll take what baby steps I can get
I giggled about it. A lot. Also the actress that Arya is supposed to kill is Miss Fisher! Also also Richard E. Grant had literally two lines in that scene. What on earth is going on in Braavos?! (Also I already care way more about all of those actors than I do about any of the murder-cult people. So… Arya, look at your life, look at your choices.)
You are so right, if Arya needs a new life plan, the theater would be a way better choice than that murder-cult situation. She might find it more tempting if they weren’t doing a comic play about her dad’s murder though. I think I hardly breathed watching that scene, poor Arya!
Yeah, Arya was definitely not amused. Although it’s sort of interesting to see another perspective on Ned Stark. Throughout season one, he was presented to us as an honorable man who would do the right thing even when it cost him. And while the Stark children all perceived that as a good quality in their father, it’s not that strange that outside observers would see Ned Stark’s choices as foolish. Ned Stark put what he thought was right over not just his own safety but that of his family. By the time he was willing to put his family first, it was too late, and his children are still suffering because of it.
tbh, it brought me a decent-sized morsel of satisfaction that, to the outside world, Ned’s catastrophically stubborn devotion to honor just read as “dumb hick”
Miss Fisher on GoT! I was so excited! I am totally here for a spin-off that is just Miss Fisher sassily solving the lesser murder mysteries of Braavos, someone make this happen.
Though to be fair that would result in like half the episodes ending with, “dang, it was the Faceless Men again, can’t do anything about that.”
Yes to everything everyone has said above. That episode was excellent and heartbreaking. I love the focus on the women this season, and especially the siblings. Jon and Sansa being together has made both far more likeable (although Sansa in general is just KILLING IT this season).
Also, can I just say I am so in for Tormund and Brienne being a thing? It is unexpected and fantastic and she totally deserves some hot wildling love.
ME TOO
He is so clearly in awe of/infatuated with her and she just does not have time for that shit, but I’m hoping she’s just doing the outward disgust thing I used to do around guys I liked when I was twelve, and after the war they’ll have beautiful terrifying babies and live happily ever after. I think he just really gets her in a way that southern men just can’t wrap their tiny heads around.
Sansa has easily been my favorite character from the first book. I used to watch the show every Sunday with a big group of guys who read the book, and they HATED her, because Martin writes her as such a petulant character, and apparently those guys were not great with subtext. (Hashtag NotAllGuys whatever)
I identified pretty hard with her adherence to courtly manners and honorable rule systems, and I’m really glad to be seeing her getting hers so far this season. I hope it continues.
One of the first times I talked to my boyfriend about GoT (this was a couple seasons ago) I mentioned that I always root hard for Sansa because she acts exactly like a woman would be socialized to act in that world and the fans HATE her for it, meanwhile she just keeps surviving in enemy territory like the badass she is. His response was “wow I never thought about that before but that seems exactly correct” and that was a Test Passed for him.
I always do the Sansa Test on potential gentleman callers, and it is unfailingly accurate (even when I proceed to ignore the results and make incredibly predictable mistakes)
Oh, I love Sansa. She handled the Lannisters so well for so long, and then was immediately thrown into even more shit. Her scenes have just been so hard to watch for so long, because everything falls apart for her always (I skipped all of her scenes last season because I could not handle that). So more likeable was definitely the wrong word (I also love Jon, as broody as he is). I guess just the scenes around them have been improved a lot? They’re less unpleasant to watch?
I highly disagree that Martin writes her as petulant. A lot of readers hated her for not being a Strong Female Character like Arya, but I always thought she was a very realistic eleven-year-old who went through tremendous trauma and is still holding intact a sense of dignity and morals and ironclad survival instincts.
Can I ship Tormund and Brienne just for kind of a fling? I like the idea of it for a little fun for her, but I think he would be exhausting after a while. I think Brienne needs a partner who acts like an actual adult.
A harem of Tormunds stationed at various waypoints along her travels would be pretty ideal. She can pursue her career as much as she’d like, and she gets the regular company of a slavishly devoted beardy puppydog who doesn’t follow her around everywhere.
Yeah, this is growing on me
I haven’t watched Game of Thrones in like 3 years and yet I am such a sucker for reunion scenes that I’m thinking about picking it up again because I saw gifs of Sansa and Jon being reunited and was like “oh man, even as bad as this show can be this is a level of emotional payoff that MIGHT BE WORTH IT.” Someone talk me out of it.
Jon/Sansa reunion was really deeply emotionally satisfying. This episode she made him a cloak (I think?) and there was some sort of leather bit that she had etched a direwolf sigil into that she said she had tried to copy from what she remembered of something their dad used to wear. And Jon had this sort of happy yet bewildered look on his face, which is even more poignant because we know that Catelyn and Sansa were never particularly friendly to him during his childhood and so for him to have a moment of realization that Sansa definitely considers him to be part of her family felt really special.
Last season I’d’ve happily talked you out of it, but I’m not sure if I can now because it’s gotten SO GOOD in the last few weeks!
I have taken from the New Scientist all the proof I have ever needed that the missing Entwives are alive and well somewhere…they just fell asleep and forgot to go back / send word to the Ents.
(quietly sobbing)
But the Toast established that the Toasts cast off the shackles of Entish society to pursue a more perfect world.
My son’s team won second place in the Washington Post’s annual scavenger hunt!
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-ente…
Gene Weingarten called them “the smartest people in the world”>
He will be insufferable from now on.
Oh, but delightfully insufferable, I’m sure. That’s superb.
OT, thank you to Simone for sending me a lovely Toast Post drawing of a robin, but there was no username or return address so I have no idea how to thank you and I’m just going to hope you see it here!
Hijacking also–due to end of lacrosse exhaustion I totally and completely forgot my eldest was having his wisdom teeth out today! His girlfriend took him, he doesn’t live with me, he’s nearly 20, but he’s my baby and he was put under and I…Just…Forgot.
The bad mom guilt is going to haunt me forever!!!
I think the almost 13 girl has mono.
If some of the trees in my yard would get up and walk away so that I could put in a vegetable garden, I’d be thrilled.
My mom scheduled me, despite my protests, to have my wisdom teeth out 2 days before my road test in high school. That was bad.
You have no reason to have mom guilt–banish the thought!
My sister forgot to pick me up when I had mine out. I called her lots but she didn’t have her phone near her, and I ended up taking the bus home. I wasn’t put under, though, so that makes a difference.
Oh, that’s awful. I’m sorry, that bus ride could not have been fun!
Due to random coincidence they stopped on their way home to get him a smoothie and my mom was there, and they all thought it was hilarious that I was so clueless this morning. So I suppose that’s ok. If they are making fun of you they’re healthy (at least in my family).
Mono is the worst. I thought I was becoming narcoleptic until we figured out what was going on.
Ok I guess this is OT and I feel really, really stupid but I need to get this out and see if I was alone. Female Ghostbusters came up in convo with my parents. They were mad that enough people were mad that they had to hear about it on the TV sometimes. I said that while I want more lady-led movies, I was sick of reboots and wasn’t one Ghostbusters enough? So my dad said “one and the sequel?”
I DID NOT KNOW THERE WERE ALREADY TWO GHOSTBUSTER MOVIES IN EXISTENCE? THERE IS A SEQUEL? My whole apprehension was that one Ghostbusters was the perfect amount of Ghostbusters but there’s ALREADY MORE THAN ONE? So now I’m like “fuck it, make 30 more Ghostbusters as long as it makes dudes angry, nothing was sacred to begin with!” and my parents think that they are failures because there daughter didn’t know there were 2 Ghostbusters.
and the song with the man going “awwwooooo” is about werewolves in london (not a movie?) so that’s another thing I learned (and my mom got that singer confused with “randy newman” and I said “the dude from seinfeld sang a song about werewolves?” and I think I’m disowned now.)
The singer is Warren Zevon, and that song was my favorite song in the world when I was 5. Also the opening riff is similar to but not quite the same as Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Sweet Home Alabama, so I’m briefly disappointed every time I hear the latter.
+1 for Lynryd Skynyrd disappointment!
There’s that one recent song that references ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ and they play that riff in the beginning and I never fail to be let down when it isn’t Warren.
Also that’s a Kid Rock song, so I hate it doubly
That’s Kid Rock? Could have sworn it was Mellencamp.
It’s Kid Rock after he settled into his dad rock phase so your confusion is understandable.
Why doesn’t he just call himself Dad Rock then? He’s old enough to stop being Kid.
Isn’t the song called “Werewolves of London”? I feel like that’s kind of a dead giveaway, lol. I find it hilarious, though, that all of these things came out to your parents and they’re probably overwhelmed by how uncool you seem, haha. We all do that. My dad got so upset at me once when I was in high school because i spent literally DAYS trying to figure out who the fifth Ninja Turtle was…
Apparently that is the title, but I’ve only heard it on the radio and never heard anyone say the title before. I only seem to tune in when the man goes “awwooo” and can’t think of anything else in the song. They played it for me and I almost didn’t recognize it.
I thought it was “werewolves of thunder” when I was a kid.
I had a writing professor once say that the best sentence ever written in English came from the lyrics to that song: “Little old lady got mutilated late last night.”
Which, to be fair, is a great-sounding sentence, just on the basis of the way the words fit together and trip off each other.
my mom agrees with your professor
I do also.
But then didn’t they make a movie!? I distinctly remember being dragged to it by a friend at some point.
Ghostbusters 2 was not good.
I need to rewatch Ghostbusters 1 because I feel asleep somewhere around the climax to the Marshmallow Man wandering through the sitting, muttered “oh that’s this movie?” and then I think I fell back asleep…
I tried to watch Ghostbusters for the first time recently with a friend who loves the movie, but it was the day after I’d stayed overnight with my mom in the hospital after she had knee surgery, and I was crankier than I realized. I couldn’t even get through the whole thing–I spent most of it being annoyed by how smarmy Bill Murray’s character seemed.
I think Ghostbusters is one of those movies with a limited window – if you don’t see if by a certain age, you probably will not like it.
I recently re-watched part of it on tv and was shocked by how objectively bad it is (despite all of my warm fuzzy memories of it).
I think I only saw it once when I was about twelve and at that time, it struck me as weird in ways I didn’t like. Like it didn’t quite scare me, but I just didn’t . . . want the things that were happening to Sigourney Weaver to happen, I think? (My memory of the movie is really fuzzy.)
But every time I tell people that I saw it when I was a kid and didn’t like it, they seem really surprised and think I should probably give it another try because I was too young at twelve to appreciate it or something.
I saw it for the first time at university when the drama department had a scary movie night, and my biggest takeaway was “meh” and “oh, that’s where the Zuul reference comes from!”
True of SO MANY 80s movies.
Bill Murray’s character is AWFUL, especially because you know that tons of dude viewers perceived him as a charmer. Ugh.
Ah gross.
Most of Bill Murray’s characters feel that way to me, to some degree. I still find him funny, in most of his movies, but he’s still incredibly annoying in most roles.
It was not good as a movie, but it had so so many good moments.
I first heard someone say that the second one wasn’t good a few years ago, and it was like, “wait, what?” And now it seems to be the accepted truth that it wasn’t good, and this breaks my heart, because Jackie Wilson! Vigo the Carpathian! I mean, if I watched it for the first time today maybe I’d agree, but I grew up with the belief that “the Ghostbusters movies are good” and the fact that everyone is suddenly saying “no, you’re only half right” is really difficult for me to process.
This is how I felt years ago when I discovered that my peers had moved on from “Titanic is wonderful” to “Titanic is ridiculous” and I had missed the memo.
Yes, I am not alone! I saw Ghostbusters 2 first when it was on TV at some point and really liked the idea of pink slime that can control stuff and the weirdness of Vigo the Carpathian. Later I rented Ghostbusters (from a video store!) and liked that too and it wasn’t until University that I found out that no one else liked 2.
(Also, not specifically in response to you, but Metafilter had an “Is it Ghostbusters 2?” meme for a while based on a gag that a UK comedian did where he called into late night quiz shows and gave that as the answer no matter the question that I found unreasonably funny and I had completely forgotten about that until just now, but that is also part of the joy of Ghostbusters 2 for me).
IDK, I want more female-led movies but I want them to not be shitty reboots. And that’s what the Ghostbuster movie looks like? (I mean obviously it’s a reboot, but it also looks shitty.)
Also, Ghostbusters 2 was really bad, and as a result Bill Murray was like, “There is no fucking way we’re making a third; it’s obvious now that the first one was a one-and-done deal that cannot be replicated,” even though the other guys really wanted to make a third one.
And the thing is, I think Murray was right. A lot of the charm and magic of the first movie was from the spontaneous ad-libbing of many very talented people who had worked together before. I’m not getting that feeling from this new movie. It’s just a generic studio comedy.
I didn’t even think it was really that bad, it’s just that it made the classic sequel mistake, which was to remake the first movie with a mad-libbed script.
“Everybody loved our unique, quirky feature! We should make that feature again, only with different names and set dressings!”
I thought this could be a easy formula for Hollywood, if they bring themselves to make more female-led marquee movies.
1. Reboot an old property (Stage one is already being done!) and retool it with women.
2. Internet manchildren throw their toys out of the pram and make a fuss.
3. Entertainment media reports on the fuss.
4. “Buzz” achieved!
Profit? I don’t know, but it made people interested in this and Fury Road.
The crucial difference is that Fury Road was 1) made by the original director, and 2) actually really good.
Is this a safe place to admit that I have never seen any Ghostbusters movie? I was a sensitive child, my parents thought it would be too scary, and I just never got around to watching it after that. I might go see the new one, if only so that I can give blank stares to all the people who are like “my childhood is ruined!”
It’s cool, there were some genuinely scary bits in the first one, like when they encounter their first ghost, if you’re not ready it’ll scare the crap out of you.
I have also never seen any Ghostbusters movie!
It is totally safe! I am with you in the never-seen-it crowd, and to be honest I have no desire to. But the new one looks mildly interesting.
There’s also a cartoon series from the 90s! And a juicebox!
That juicebox and show was my everything as a child. Baby’s first fandom. (Says someone whose imaginary friend was Slimer.)
I DO remember the cartoon series! My parents wouldn’t let me watch it because ghosts=scary? (so maybe they shouldn’t be so surprised that I’m not up on my Ghostbusters trivia?)
Wasn’t there a knockoff cartoon too? Because I remember the cartoon being called “The Real Ghostbusters…with Slimer” or something similarly passive-aggressive.
There was a less famous preceding cartoon called Ghostbusters, so they couldn’t use the title. I think the internal justification was that the film was adapted from the “real” adventures of the cartoon characters.
And the cartoon is excellent! Better than 95% of the other Saturday morning cartoons of the era (at least until they soft rebooted it into a more child friendly version a few seasons on).
They’re re-releasing the slimer cooler!
I had a Happy Meal slimer toy! Also glow-in-the-dark stickers.
Fascinating, long article on the complete lack of whistleblower protection inside the Pentagon: How the Pentagon punished NSA whistleblowers.
I feel my blood pressure rising just reading your description. And yet I’m going to read the article anyway…
HELLO PARALYZING ANXIETY MANIFESTING ITSELF AS CRAFT PRODUCTIVITY.
at least I’m getting stuff done?
Oh, you do that too?
(I try to set myself time limits. Sometimes it works)
I did 10 minutes on, so I’d get to do each craft for 10 minutes and then once I rotated through, I cleaned and cooked. So, things got done? I’m almost done with my first shawl, and my hat is starting to take shape and I am starting to fix the stupid cuffs on this stupid dress and I have part of a pattern mocked up for my vest.
And then I got overwhelmed and played stardew valley for way too long.
i feel you. kitchen, you’re getting curtains this week!!
I feel you. “I may not know what to do about this stressful, scary situation but I DO know how to k2 p2 ok yes yes I will just do that”
“I cannot control any external circumstances, but damnit, I can turn this pile of materials into a thing!”
“Everyone will praise me for turning the pile of materials into a thing, but will not know what I avoided.”
This is how I conceal most of my failings, tbh.
I am feeling so understood right now.
Me too, me too.
ooooh yes, the praise-for-irrelevant things!
Final “girls in lacrosse” report. We end our seaon 0-18. Mainly due to being beginners, young, and having no extra players to sub.
I made it through coaching the last big tournament day even though my ex on -purpose always spends this particular tournament hovering about like an evil spirit everywhere I look.
My goalie got a ball in a vulnerable place, and the refs told me I “didn’t need to see him, unless I was his mom” . Well, dammit, I did need his gear for the replacement goalie! But instead they carted him off and we had to stop the whole game until I got the other equipment.
Some of the boys in the last game were chivalrous and gave my middie the face off because he saw she was a girl. She was pissed!!
When one of my girls took a bad hit, our goalie (who is the oldest on the team) cheered her up as they clapped her off the field by yelling “just think of Dairy Queen!” (Her favorite place).
Just about everyone either got hurt or frustrated enough to cry yesterday, and I was able to help them feel better. Also their teammates supported them which isn’t always the case eith 13 year old boys.
I will miss these kids!!
Totally OT, I am taking an online course, it is pointless, the whole thing is recorded but I have to be here live, it’s basically just a dude reading us the AWS DevOps docs, but hey, it’s better than spending hours with my head in my hands trying to fix this trash outsourced PHP app that’s currently eating my days, so…¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk idk idk (i am def the most trash snake person rn)
I couldn’t find the post asking if anyone had watched “Baby Cobra” on Netflix once I watched it, but I, too, am curious to hear any other reactions to it. My big takeaway is that I’m not a huge fan of scatological humor, but if I’m already a fan of your work I’ll go there in moderation. If it’s my first time seeing you, I need a little more courtship before hearing all about your poop and relative wet or dryness. Woo me!
The Ali Wong stand-up? I just tried to watch that last night! Honestly, I couldn’t make it all the way through. The first time she joked about trapping her husband, I was like ok, haha. But she lost me in the extended monologue about how feminists ruined it for women by demonstrating that we could be more than housewives and being a housewife is great because you can be totally lazy and do whatever you want. I just… there are already so many people saying that in seriousness, and I couldn’t really see what her punchline was supposed to be, so it wasn’t funny to me. I wanted to like it, but I just couldn’t get into it.
SPOILERS
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>>>>>
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At the end of her standup, it turns out she has to pay off her husband’s school debt and he’s the one who trapped her.
I thought it was revolutionary to see a pregnant standup, and later on she really gets into some sexist stuff, so I dunno, mixed review?
Ah, ok, I’m kind of glad to hear that. My conclusion was “meh, but if I see her doing something else, I’ll take a look.”
And yes, it was pretty awesome to see her do standup pregnant, and especially to be pregnant and talk about everything but pregnancy. Like, pregnancy is not the single sole subject that a pregnant woman is allowed to talk about.
I think the visual fact of her pregnancy was my favorite thing about the whole shebang. I’ve seen very pregnant punk band members perform and not go into labor spontaneously, so it *is* kind of weird to realize how rare that is. I’d like to see more of her work, though, because it would be nice to move from tepid to actually enjoying it.
Ugh, housewife jokes. I have a FB friend from high school who I never really talked to, but we got into some FB comment discussions last year… And it was just an escalating trainwreck of misogynistic horror. Some excerpts, after she said she’s looking for a third part-time job so she can be working seven days a week (while pregnant with her third kid):
“My family taught me that being a lazy housewife will get you nowhere in life. My mom always worked 2 jobs, so did my grandma and still raised kids. … Also my husband rarely if ever helps with the kids or house. His philosphy -that’s women’s work and not my responsibility. He said he makes the money, he’s the head of the household and is in authority over me. He says that’s biblical. I don’t make as much as him and we also don’t take vacations because he doesn’t believe in them because they take money away that he could be earning. …I’ve dealt with it this long I’m used to it. He’s even threatened to throw me out of the house my family bought.”
screaming
AGH BURN IT DOWN
This is so late and probably no one will see it, sorry, I am home with a migraine this morning and only just managed to get on the computer (while sporting sunglasses like an elegant dramatic migraine queen), so.
Today in (Feminist) History! [Archive]
Today in 1810 was the birth of Margaret Fuller, an American women’s rights activist and journalist who was also a part of the transcendentalism movement. Margaret’s book, Women in the Nineteenth Century, is considered the first major feminist work within the U.S., and she was also the first full-time female book reviewer in American journalism. She was educated by her father and became a teacher, later holding what she referred to as “conversations” for women, which were essentially discussions among women that helped to compensate for their inability to access higher education.
Margaret edited a transcendentalist magazine The Dial in 1840, before joining the staff of the New York Tribune in 1844. She was known as the best-read person (male or female!) in New England by her 30s, and was the first woman allowed to use Harvard’s library (wow– at Harvard tbh). Margaret Fuller was a big advocate for prison reform, and the emancipation of slaves (she also supported the rights of Native Americans), but especially for women’s rights– particularly women’s right to employment, and education. On the subject of women’s employment, she once said, “If you ask me what office women should fill, I reply—any … let them be sea captains if you will. I do not doubt that there are women well fitted for such an office”.
She was cited as an inspiration by Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and Matilda Gage,, but after her death, much of her importance as well as her voice became lost, as those who published her letters censored or altered her work. However it is rumored that she (or her personality anyway) were the inspiration for Hester Prynne in The Scarlet Letter.
Also on this day…
• In 1846, the birth of Arabella Mansfield, the first female lawyer in the U.S. who took the bar exam (despite it being restricted to men only) and then challenged the state court to earn women the right to be accepted to the bar.
• In 1926, the birth of Aileen Hernandez (still alive today!), an American union organizer and civil rights activist, as well as the second national president of the National Organization for Women and co-founder of Black Women Organized for Action in San Francisco.
Being known as the best-read person in New England by my 30s. Will now drop all other life goals for this new life goal; I have five years to get crackin’.
I hope your migraine feels better and that the dramatic sunglasses help at least a little? Migraines suck 🙁
I am happy to see Margaret Fuller cited today. I’d like to add two points:
One of the most amazing episodes in Fuller’s life was her significant involvement with the Italian Revolutions, a really amazing piece of political commitment that included work as a nurse during actual battle, journalistic accounts, and a plan to write the comprehensive history of these (failed) revolutionary movements. The manuscript of the latter was lost in the shipwreck that killed Fuller, her husband and her son within sight of Long Island.
And secondly, I would like to suggest that there’s a downside to comparing her real life to a well-known fictional character. There are actually very few parallels between them; on the contrary, citing Hester Prynne was a way for contemporaries to criticize Fuller’s sexuality as abnormal, and push her contributions out of intellectual history. I think this comparison can have the same effect today, even for people with feminist commitments, since it turns a historical person into an icon, and romanticizes her struggles without illuminating them. She was not the heroine of a fairy tale; she was a woman and an intellectual when those were both extremely difficult, and knowing the nitty-gritty of her life can liberate.
I recommend the recent biography from Norton, _The Lives of Margaret Fuller_ by John Matteson. There also exists a 2-volume academic biography, but it is mind-bendingly sexist.
Feel better soon! Migraines must exist for a reason, but I sure can’t see what it would be.
Ok, actual for real first Toastie! Magazine editor, librarian adjacent, social justice, taking to the sea — perfection.
here’s a new yorker article on disasters during the Manhattan project, and why you shouldn’t play with plutonium.
http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/demon-core…
Oh my god, this is terrifying. I can’t believe the procedure was “hold a block of beryllium with my hand over the plutonium and, with my other hand use a screwdriver to keep them from touching, because if they touch everyone will die!” I know robots haven’t been invented yet, but there must have been a better way!
Indeed. After this, they started using proto-robots.
It’s also worth pointing out that Fermi himself warned him that this would be fatal.
You can see a dramatized version of this with baby John Cusack in the not very good 80s movie Fat Man and Little Boy
Oh man, 80s movies starring John Cusack AND the history of the US nuclear program. You are singing my song. Thanks for the rec!
I would say “Fat Man and Little Boy” is a history of the Manhattan project in the loosest sense of the word history but John Cusack is in peak 80s Cusack form and it also has Paul Newman and baby Laura Dern.
Better and better!
Bonus: Dwight “Lieutenant Barclay” Schultz as J. Robert “I Am Become Death, Destroyer of Worlds” Oppenheimer.
OT comment for any Toasties with kitties! I’m looking for a little advice. My partner and I just adopted a cute little 1 year old Calico kitty yesterday and the adjustment period seemed to be going pretty well until about 10pm last night – then it turned into a lot of meowing in whatever apartment rooms we were not in and general noise/sadness. I ended up sleeping on the floor with her in the room where we set up her litterbox and food. I was too concerned she would be distraught at being left alone today, so I ended up not going in to work.
I feel like I already know the answer – she just needs time to adjust – but I really need to hear it confirmed by some more seasoned kitty owners. Has anyone had issues with nighttime meowing? How did you handle it? Did you worry about leaving them alone for so long while they were still so new to the situation? I’m generally not an overly anxious person, but the responsibility of caring for this little being who can’t tell me what is wrong is sort of getting to me!
My 9-year-old cat, whom I’ve had since she was 4 months old, still sometimes wanders the apartment meowing at night. She’ll usually stop if I call to her – it’s like she forgets where the bedroom is if the lights are off, but when she hears me she remembers and comes into the room. Is yours allowed into your bedroom?
Adjustment periods can be weird though. When we got this cat (our second), one of us had to sleep on the couch with her for a week because the first cat wouldn’t be in the same room with her and they both wanted to sleep with people. It’s entirely possible that your cat is going to explore (vocally) for a little while until she gets used to the space.
As far as leaving her alone – depending on where you got her, she may be more used to being alone than being with people. Cats are really really good at taking care of themselves, and I don’t even worry about my foster kittens being on their own during the day. Maybe you could put yours into the room with her food/litter while you’re gone, if that would help you be less anxious about her having the run of the house?
Thanks! I think we will eventually let her into the bedroom, but I am worried for the moment that she will keep us up all night meowing and poking around.
If your little kittens can handle the alone time I am sure she will learn to adjust too 🙂
You’ll quite possibly find that once she’s not alone and anxious (if the meowing is anxiety, which it may well be but there are other reasons) she will sleep.
The key to handling night time meowing is to completely ignore it. Completely. Do not react in any way. Anything you do will reinforce the behavior. So just lie in bed and do nothing. It feels absolutely horrible but it will not last. Depending on how strong willed your cat is, it may take one to several nights to a week to stop the behavior, but eventually the cat will give up and adjust their clock to yours (more or less).
We did this with our first cat – he not only meowed at night, he would attack my feet and bite my toes through the covers. We tried all sorts of things that didn’t work at all and then a friend who worked with animals told us about this technique – It took a couple hellacious nights, but he stopped. And that lasted at least 15 years. Right now he’s an old cat and seems to have some kitty dementia and he’s started night time meowing again and it is heartbreaking.
Thanks! This is what I’ve mostly been reading as well. It will be hard but it will be worth it. Hopefully she will quickly settle into a routine of finding a cozy place to settle down, or at least do her own thing while we sleep.
I’m sorry about your aging kitty! It gets hard once they start to hit their senior years – my parents have a 15 year old as well who needs a lot of extra love and attention. He sounds lucky to have you!
Kitty dementia is the worst. I feel for you and your kitty.
Old cats who start howling at night may have thyroid problems–has he also gotten markedly skinnier? You might want to have the vet check his thyroid levels.
He is really skinny – he lost weight and we took him in. His thyroid function was ok but not the kidney so we’re treating that. His meowing has gotten better since we started hydrating him regularly.
Are you sure it’s sadness? My cat Nellie has a pair of ankle socks that she plays with most nights after the lights are out (only after the lights are out) and she literally moans with pleasure as she does it. I just put up with it, but it doesn’t go on too terribly long.
I’m not sure it’s sadness, I think that’s probably just my human bias talking. Your cat (and your patience) cracks me up!
My cat always does this when we move or I have to bring him places. He’s really attached to me and very skittish. I keep his food and litter in my room for a few days. He also likes to sleep under the covers in my room when we go to new places.
For the first night in a new place, he needs to explore. Of course, he can’t explore a new place without me walking exactly one step behind him. If I try to ignore him, he wanders around yowling and crying. So I spend at least one sleepless night stumbling behind the cat in the dark, until he finishes his survey. Then he’s quiet and happy at night 🙂
Your kitty will be fine! It’s just an adjustment period.
Thanks for this!
I think a little bit of my anxiety stems from the fact that we just don’t know each other so well yet! Once you know those routines and know it’s not serious, you can just do the silly thing and get it over with so you can get back to bed. 🙂
“Dear Diary,
It is 3 in the morning. The Authorities have closed the door to the bedroom. I can only assume they have forgotten about me and have left me here to die. As a last resort, I will stand post for the rest of the night and sing the song of my people, in hopes that they rescue me.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKffm2uI4dk
So basically, cats meow to talk to us. The meowing isn’t despair per se as it is a “hello, anyone? I’m bored? Where are you!? DO YOU KNOW YOUR CAT IS HERE?”
At a year old your cat is a teenager. She is going to be ok on her own. Cats sleep like 16 hours a day- she’s going to time her sleep schedule around your activity, so once you get used to each other she’ll sleep while you are gone and while you sleep.
You probably need to decide if your cat is going to be allowed to sleep with you. If she is, you might as well start as soon as you can, so you don’t all get used to one thing and then change it again.
If you want to set up expectations, when she meows you can talk back, but then you are setting yourself up to have a chatty cat. I personally chat with my cat all the time, I think it’s interesting. When my cat cries we say something like, “Freya we’re in the bedroom!” Or we say, “oh do you want water?” and then she runs to the bathroom and we turn on the tap. Its fun, except I think she’s disappointed we don’t understand her more.
This is good food for thought. Thanks!
http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/04/your-cat-is-…
“a secret code of meows … develops between each cat and its owner, unique to that cat alone and meaning little to outsiders.” This was demonstrated in a 2003 study by Cornell researchers, documented in Bradshaw’s book, in which they recorded meows from 12 cats in five everyday scenarios. They then played those recordings to pet owners, and found that only the owners could correctly decipher the scenario in which the meow was recorded.
I was going to comment on this stuff!
If you’ve only just adopted her, it will take some time for you all to speak the same language, so to speak. Soon you’ll be able tell the difference between her ‘I’M SO SAD’ yelling, her ‘MOTHER! COME POSTHASTE!’ yelling, and her ‘I’M SCREAMING BECAUSE I LIKE THE SOUND OF MY OWN VOICE COME PLAY WITH ME’ yelling.
So, she may be sad and worried – possibly more likely since she’s so new – but it may very well also just be that she has a good set of lungs to work out, or she wants to play, or she’s trying to kickstart communication by screaming about the moonlight that’s filtering through the gap in the window.
Give her some comfort if you’re worried, talk to her, and shush her if you need to.
Yeah, we had a cat when I was a teenager who night-yowled his entire life. Just sat in the dead-center of the house and yelled and yelled and yelled, in a way that sounded almost exactly like “mom! MOM! MOMMMMMMMM!!!”
Which we were always pretty sure was the exact meaning.
She’s probably bored and lonely and looking for companionship. If you ignore it she’ll probably stop. If it persists without encouragement / response from you, make sure that she’s healthy and knows where you and her food/water/litter are.
one of my cats freaked the shit out when we moved, and spent the hours between 3 and 6 am meowing terribly for weeks. Then we unpacked a box of just the right dimensions, and she sat in it, and has barely made a peep since.
Also I recommend cat nip. Nothing like getting a little stoned before bedtime!
Toasties! I performed at my circus school’s annual showcase on Friday! (You may remember me mentioning this in previous link roundups in the vein of “Oh Sif why am I so busy.) What I’m trying to say is
WITNESS ME!
https://youtu.be/3mujkiJ0Fa0
https://youtu.be/rU2XqTTCGbY
Okay, the dinosaur juggling was adorable, but WAS THAT A PIECE OF TOAST YOU WERE EATING AT THE END OF THE TIGHTWIRE ACT? Please tell me that was an homage to The Toast, but actually I don’t care if it was an homage because I have totally decided in my head that it was an homage.
(I am a lurker, not a commenter, but wanted to delurk to say this – good job!)
It was pizza, actually!
Ok I never really used this space to express real-life frustration before, but since we’re going to be bereft of it soon, I figured I’d try! I brought cookies in that I made over the weekend (macarons framboise, if you must know) to work today to share with my very small team before leaving them on the counter for general consumption. NONE OF MY TEAM accepted any cookies.
I know this is stupid and I shouldn’t feel as terrible as I do. But I feel like we aren’t as close as I thought they were, and it just made me feel like I’m bad at judging social relationships, etc. I just feel crappy! Anyone have any advice to make me feel better?
No advice, just hugs. I hate when that happens, especially when I’m excited about the recipe. I’m sure it’s nothing to do with how they feel about you. Some people just don’t want to try new things.
I would most certainly eat your delicious strawberry (?) cookies.
(raspberry)
It’s nothing personal! Here are some thoughts:
Did you put a little sign on them? If you didn’t announce or email or put up a sign maybe they didn’t feel right taking them.
People sometimes individually are on diets or have restrictions. I’ve been known to turn an office cookie down when I had a donut for breakfast.
People hate to be the first one, or take food in front of you or take noticeable amounts of food. That kind of thing. You probably needed one person to go first, to give them all permission.
Giving food can feel like giving love- it hurts me when people don’t eat my food, but for them it’s just…free food. When you go to trouble for other people but they didn’t ask for it… that’s hard for them to necessarily realize how important it is to you. Imagine someone showed up at your cubicle and was like, “I painted you this picture!” and you had the visual equivalent of a gluten allergy, and you had to turn them down. It would bum them out, because they’d been imagining how happy you would be.
You gotta be real with yourself and realize part of the motivation in doing this was the expected joy and rapture and cries of “you made these yourself?!” (which believe me if I worked in your office I’d do), and then just realize that they’re not necessarily aware that’s what you need, and find a way to make peace with the pleasure of just making the cookies without praise, or only give cookies to people who like them. One time I brought in my grandma’s recipe for biscoitos, which are dry little coffee cookies and my coworker leaned over my cube munching them to say, “you know these are really dry, you should try making them moister”. MY GRANDMAS RECIPE. And I explained they’re like biscotti! People are jerks. Don’t try and feed them unless you are ready for that.
I can’t comment on closeness or not, but food isn’t a marker of closeness for all people. My chef boyfriend barely ever feeds me, and he hardly eats my food, and we’re both the kind of people who get pleasure in feeding other people, its just how our schedules are. We’re still pretty close nonetheless.
AGGGGGH, people ARE such jerks about stuff like that sometimes.
There is only one person in my office I will share my homemade lunches with. I have been giving him a wee, wee portion of my lunches for years, because every time I do, he tries it and says “Wow! This is delicious! Thank you!”.
I offered some to another guy once and he tried and and came back at me with criticisms (he was mostly joking, but I am a sensipants). And I never gave him food again, because WTH, dude?
Your comment wasn’t here when I made mine. You fleshed out what I was thinking quite nicely.
“People hate to be the first one, or take food in front of you or take noticeable amounts of food.”
So much this! We all do it in my office, myself included. Sometimes it’s because I’m embarrassed to be seen helping myself to leftover chocolate cake at 9:30 AM, sometimes because I’m not sure if the food is really up for grabs or reserved for a certain group or event. Plus we’re all a bit gun-shy after someone left a long, passive-aggressive note about people eating their kid’s birthday cake (which they had left in the break room). Office food culture is weird. It is probably not a reflection on you or your certainly delicious macarons.
“people eating their kid’s birthday cake (which they had left in the break room)”
Well that just seems like an EXTREMELY BAD IDEA and totally their own fault
Yeah, there are a lot of reasons for people to turn down cookies that do NOT involve you being a monster or them not liking you.
Having said that, there is also the art of realizing WHY someone is offering you a cookie. And maybe you can appreciate the gesture without actually eating said cookie.
I especially appreciate that second part. As a vegan, I often (usually) turn down people’s lovely homemade baked goods, but I exclaim! about how beautiful! they are and how much I admire! that they attempted/mastered! macarons! or whatever. I hope that has some value to the sweet bakers’ whose goods I’m rejecting.
Oh man, that sucks, especially since I know making macarons is quite a process.
Try not to take it personally. There are so, SO many reasons that folks might not try home-baked goods, and the very least likely of the reasons is that they don’t like you. Maybe someone is allergic to gluten, or doesn’t like raspberries, or is on a diet, or is abstaining from sugar, or is full, or or or…
It was very kind and generous on your part to make macarons, and the fact that no one ate one does NOT mean you are bad at People-ing. It’s pretty much always A Good Social Move to make and offer food to others: the fact that they didn’t take you up on your tasty offer is on them, not you.
I agree 100%.
I just want to add, I’m sure this isn’t you original poster but… One person in our office brings unhealthy treats in so often, almost every day, that I and a couple other people have stopped eating them. We said sort of passive things for a while like, “thank you! So delicious but I can only eat half of one!” or whatever to hint that this isn’t good for us but now we have just stopped eating them completely.
I have a huge sweet tooth and as much as I’d love to eat sweets every day, I really shouldn’t and I’m really trying not to. It makes it hard when they are just out on the counter every day, and I very much want her to stop bringing them at all. Probably it would be best for me to be direct, but it’s lame to say, “I am trying not to eat sweets so don’t bring them in for the group” so I’m just letting my actions speak for me.
I would be devastated, ack! I’m sorry this happened to you. I second everything eegghh said.
OT – a judge issued me and ex a decree of divorce nisi this morning and I just don’t even know what to do with myself. I want to tell everyone, but not on social media because ex follows my social media because we both post stuff about the kids sometimes and it seems really tactless to invite my friends congratulate me on the divorce where he can see it. (He feels rather differently about this than I do.)
I have been stressed about this for so long I just don’t know what to do with myself now. Like, bake something? Get a tattoo? Make dinner for when I pick up the kids tomorrow?
The judge really approved of our parenting plan, which was kind of thrown together to avoid massive inconvenience or screwing the kids, so if you ever have to write one of those, know that those principles can be used to good effect.
It sounds like you are happy about this turn of events, so first of all, congrats! I find baking something is great, because it can either relieve stress or fill in the stress gaps by making you stressed about whether or not your baking project is going to work.
Congrats! (?)
Get a sassy new haircut, buy yourself an outfit that makes you feel sexy, and make a great meal for your now-smaller family. You got this! (PS also we are your social media)
Congratulations!
Could you use a group text or email instead of a Facebook post? Or do a friends-locked post that the ex wouldn’t see?
I’m letting people know individually, mostly. I’m terrible with privacy settings, but fairly good at making use of my section of the rumor mill.
I already have really good short hair – I should get it touched up – and someone just gave me a pound of fancy French butter for my birthday, so it’s possible that this week’s free time needs to be laminated dough. I have some experiments in mind.
Seconding get a haircut! I would have had the same hair my whole life if it weren’t for breakups. I would also suggest watching/listening to Lemonade obviously.
Congrats! And yes, I imagine you want *something* to mark the occasion.
I can see baking a cake and decorating it in a meaningful or simply audacious manner & eating it with your friends. Then again, last night I was musing on a divorce tattoo. (I’m in the middle of a wanted-by-me divorce process, so thanks for holding the light at the other end of this terrible tunnel)
Good for you for getting through this part!
Do you know about Facebook friend lists? There are a few default lists (Close friends, Acquaintances), but you can also create your own. So, you could make a Divorce list that only includes the friends you want to talk to about your divorce, and then select your Divorce list when you set the privacy for your “hey I’m getting divorced” status update. It sounds more complicated than it is!
You can also specifically exclude certain people from seeing a certain post. When you set the privacy for a status update, you get a drop down menu. There’s a little cogwheel named “Settings” or something. Click that to include/exclude people.
OT: I’m at my parents’ house, and the two cats (Norwegian Forest/? mix) are, I believe, actually fluffier than Sansa. FLOOF
We’ll be needing proof for such a ridiculous claim.
I love them. Most of my dresses now are from them. *And* most of their dresses have actual, usable pockets. I can be in a fancy dress with my iPhone in my pocket, without throwing off the lines!
The only times I've gotten something that didn't work from them was because I had picked a *style* that looked bad on me: a dress that fit properly, but just didn't work because I don't do well with dressed that flare out *at* my natural waist. But someone else would look great in it. Now I know to check what the line of the dress is before buying it.
They get a big thumbs up from me.
I always get things sized to fit me, rather than going with their numbered sizes. It hasn't failed me.
I just machine wash, throw them in the dryer, and then grab them out super promptly.
Whoooooooooa
Thanks!! I was eyeing those online because they look very comfy. (My office is eleventy billion degrees during the summer, so all-cotton would definitely be nice).
Bonus: Dwight "Lieutenant Barclay" Schultz as J. Robert "I Am Become Death, Destroyer of Worlds" Oppenheimer.
They actually added a spot for that measurement now, and they called me to check that it was accurate when it didn't match with their usual ratios!
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