
This is not a joke. Hillary’s team had talked to me a few weeks back about doing something, but I didn’t want to do, like, a “If Hillary Were Your President” type thing, and then they got in touch on Wednesday and said she wanted to write something HERSELF (it seems her people show her Two Monks or what-have-you on long campaign days) and I said only if it was funny and they said “she was thinking more heartfelt?” and here we are. – Nicole
Dear readers,
I know that today is the final day of The Toast, and I wanted to take a moment to reflect on what this space — and spaces like it — mean for women.
In nearly every industry, from publishing to scientific research, women have had to forge their own paths against overwhelming odds and less-than-friendly welcomes. When I arrived in the Senate in 2001, I was one of just 13 women, and I remember how thankful I was for my female colleagues on both sides of the aisle. My friend Barbara Mikulski famously started a tradition of dinner parties for all the women of the Senate. Over a glass of wine — okay, maybe three — we’d give each other support, advice, and highly relevant tips to navigate being in such an extreme minority.
I’ve always had great admiration for women like Barb who take it upon themselves to create spaces where women can speak their minds freely. With this site, Mallory, Nicole and Nikki did the same for so many women — and they made us laugh and think along the way.
I’m looking forward to seeing what they — and the many great writers who’ve contributed to The Toast — do next. (At least two are working for my campaign!) As we look back at what this site has meant to so many of you, I hope you’ll also look forward and consider how you might make your voice heard in whatever arenas matter most to you. Speak your opinion more fervently in your classes if you’re a student, or at meetings in your workplace. Proudly take credit for your ideas. Have confidence in the value of your contributions. And if the space you’re in doesn’t have room for your voice, don’t be afraid to carve out a space of your own. You never know — you might just be the next Nicole Cliffe, Mallory Ortberg or Nikki Chung.
Thank you, and as my friend Barb would say — keep giving them hell. We’re counting on you.
Hillary
Oh my god
What.
Well put.
I was thinking up crazy things for what the 10:00 post could be. None of them were this crazy.
WHAT
We. Are. With. You.
Noooo, I already thumbs-upped this comment before you added the gif, why can’t I thumbs-up it again and again???
#ImwithHer
AHHHH
Perfection.
KHALEESI COMING TO WESTEROS!
Which I am hearing in the voice of Luther the Anger Translator.
Khaleesi, not the High Sparrow! (Doesn’t Bernie resemble him amazingly?)
I prefer to think of the High Sparrow as Mean Pope Francis
Perfect. Gif.
I’m still in shock.
Omg. Chills.
This is the perfect comment. Wow.
YES YES YES
10000x yes
#imwithher OMG HILLARY. #fangirlseizure
#sheswithus
I love this.
BEST GIF EVER!!!
JUNEBUG YOU BROKE LIKE WHOA OVER 1,000 UPVOTES

your comment came back!
I love you Hillary! and unnamed staff members of pure awesome.
I emailed this post to my mother:
Subj: MOM YOU NEED TO READ THIS THING RIGHT NOW
“Mom. Mom. Mommy. Read this. This is a thing that happened.
http://the-toast.net/2016/07/01/a-note-on-the-toa…
It’s a present for us on this last, terrible, beautiful day. Later, I will drink wine and cry.”
Her response:
“That’s really great, [unreadaethel]. I’m sorry that this great conversation is over, but what a send off! Thanks for sharing this with me.
Love, Mom”
THE TOAST IS OVER AND HILLARY CLINTON THINKS WE’RE GREAT AND I WANT MY MOMMY
get ready 4 it

oh
my
sweet
goddess
OH MY FUCKING GOD
I LOGGED IN WITH THE INTENTION OF LEAVING THIS EXACT COMMENT
and I still have say it
oh my fucking GOD
O_oh my fucking god. And I love “only if it was funny”.
Same and then I saw the first comment, that was more polite and then I saw yours and thought “okay then! ” So OMFG it is.
IKR!?
Clinton: I’d like to write something for the Toast.
Nicole: Eeeehhhhh, I dunno… is it funny?
“Because we still have editorial standards, even for Secretaries of State.”
So I’m actually currently sitting in my living room and making weird squealy noises that are usually reserved for rereads of Harry Potter and I’m proud of you all for being able to actually string words together. Also, my dog is looking at me funny.
those were my exact words
I didn’t process who wrote this until I scrolled down to the author bio at which point I SHRIEKED AND MY BRAIN SHUT DOWN. AAAHHHH!!!
Whoa.
Oh my god I am crying.
I am also crying. I started crying at the byline.
So am I, and I’m Australian and can’t vote for her although I would dearly love to do so!
I really wish I could vote for Hillary Clinton today, she is better than all our Aussie options. #democracysausage
As a fellow Aussie – too damn true.
I know right! The highlight of today will be the #democracysausage
Same here.
Me too. This is what finally got me.
SAME. The tears are rolling. This is everything.
Oh my god, I honestly thought I wasn’t going to cry, but HERE WE ARE. I cannot wait for her to be my president.
Yup.
I might need to go out in the hallway for a bit, no reason.
ALLERGIES I HAVE ALLERGIES.
Tried to read this aloud to my wife and started weeping dramatically instead.
Also crying. Internet crying party!
Same. I was sad but not weepy until this very moment.
Same. Oh the crying at work.
I knew I was going to cry today, but WHOA, not like this! (Note to self: drink lots of water today, you’re leaking.)
Me, too! This AMAZING post was the one that reduced me to a blubbering mess. I’m printing it off and putting it on the fridge as a daily inspiration, swear to God(dess).
Crying in the airport. (Fortunately everyone cries at the airport.)
Yep this is the one that put me over the edge.
Yup. weeping at my desk. Have held it together through all the link roundups and retrospectives. But HRC has finally gotten me in my feels!!
I am literally tearing up on BART here.
I might need to step out for an hour or two. I’M ALLERGIC TO EMOTIONS, OKAY
I cried reading the piece and then cried again reading Hillary’s bio.
Yes. Crying at my desk in my all-male workplace.
Me too! Me 3? Me 45?
It’s not fair I held it together till this
…
????
!!!!!
Okay NOW I’M CRYING FOR REAL. WHAT EVEN. Thank you, Toast.
SAME
me too. <3
Samesies
OH MY GOD IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?!?!?! This is amazing!!!
aaaaAAAAHHHH
OH MY GOD
woah 0_0
How lucky we are to be alive right now.
Can’t look around properly, eyes too teary.
What a world.
Women in the sequel!!!
Oh my god, I was already crying but this is the comment that triggered the messy sobbing. women in the sequel. WORK!
Right? I can’t even sing along with this line in the best of times because my voice breaks with emotion. How lucky we are indeed.
History is happening!
Look around,look around…
!!!
Tears. Real tears.
SCREAM-GASPING AND CRYING
WHAT THE ABSOLUTE EVER-LIVING FUCK IS THIS WORLD WE LIVE IN?????
I ALSO FEEL THIS WAY. WHAT CONTORTIONS OF TIME & SPACE MADE THIS A THING THAT HAPPENS IN THE WORLD.
Chills.
I think this means Mallory will be the next host of the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!
Oh wait, except maybe

Is that Elyse?!
YES IT IS!
Ahhhhhh!!!
I WAS JUST GONNA SAY
POST ME
Yes, that is DEFINITELY where my brain SHOULD have gone instead of just SHUTTING DOWN momentarily.
Look, it took a surprise post by freaking HRC to shut down your gif abilities. I feel like that’s fair.
Yeah no, the shutting down was probably an important step in dealing with this development. Mine did, too.
YES. This is deeply, truly correct.
… Hilary Clinton broke CleverManka…
Hillary Clinton broke CleverManka and we were all here to see it. Someone else said it, but I’m going to say it again – how lucky we are to be alive right now.
Hahahahahahah I love you
YES THIS ONE ESPECIALLY
This one!
I could watch this all day.
yeah, that about does it!
Perfect reaction, really.
I’m still feeling a little

I will never get tired of that gif.
what she said.
Oh
My
GOD
THIS IS SO EXCELLENT
OH MY GOD.
So this was wonderful and lovely and it made me cry.
And now I’m weeping. This is amazing. Thank you.
Omg <3
this is too much goodbye I’m dead now
I HAVE NEVER BEEN PANDERED TO SO EFFECTIVELY BEFORE
RIGHT?!
I’d like to be clear that this is a compliment to Secretary Clinton.
Totally. I mean, Hilary has my vote over Trump no question, but this definitely makes me more excited about it. She actually IS paying attention to women’s issues and not just giving lip service.
women’s top issue: The Toast is closing
For real, though.
I mean, yeah. The Toast is a place for all women’s issues, so…yeah.
You’re not wrong, at least as far as this woman is concerned.
SAME SAME SAME SAME
HERE FOR IT
Laughing through tears right now
ARE WE A NICHE VOTING GROUP?!?! ARE THERE DISCUSSIONS IN WASHINGTON ON HOW TO APPEAL TO THE SPACE-WITCHES VOTE!?!?
at least the queer librarian vote
I hope that someday we can have space-witch representation in our political system. It will be a powerful moment (Actually I’m pretty sure there are some Space Witches in politics already but I don’t know if they actively claim the title. How about an open-space-witch, then?)
Well, I mean. Elizabeth Warren, amirite? (Okay, maybe she’s not an open space-witch…)
Well she did just apply to be the defense against the dark arts teacher so I think she’s pretty open. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/elizabeth-war…
The friend who posted that tweet on FB says that Warren’s patronus is probably the honey badger. I can’t disagree.
I don’t know a single woman in DC who doesn’t casually use “too witches” with her other female colleagues.
YES DEFINITELY
I feel like “space witches” has a meaning here I’m not aware of beyond the obvious “pagan lady astronauts” one. A little help here?
This piece speaks to my soul. I was already a supporter but my enthusiasm has gone up tenfold. Hillary Clinton has become an outstanding campaigner, ya’ll!
as someone who loudly complains when my demographic is not being pandered to, thank you eternally to the toast for pandering to me wonderfully
*nods*
I read Troilus and Criseyede in grad school, and I’m irritated that “pander” became a word used to mean “listen to someone and take their preferences into account.” Pandarus was effing coercive. Trying to find a way of addressing the needs of people who’ve been ignored? Kind of the opposite of coercive.
#yellingatlanguage
AKA #whattheToastisallabout
🙂
It seemed like exactly the right moment for pedantry and language-yelling.
Literally the most excited I have been about this candidate to date.
Me too! I mean, she has my vote regardless. But now I am tearful, delighted, excited!
I agree wholeheartedly. And I am so pleased about it.
…I really think you might break 1000 likes on this comment
and…yup..did.
2000 really isn’t out of the question now, tbh
Just got quoted in the Atlantic. http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/201…
FAME
this is the best thing that could have happened to me if the toast had to end
Me too. This is not a criticism. I was already going to vote but now I know who I will be doorbelling for this fall.
PERFECT. I wish I could vote for you Hillary!!!!!
Absolutely the send off this site deserves.
No one usually cares about the space witch vote….
I’M NOT WORTHY TO COMMENT ON THIS WHAT
I BET HILLARY CLINTON BELIEVES YOU ARE WORTHY
FUCK YES
I am crying right now. I am so speechless and touched and honored.
I am with her so hard and always have been, but knowing that the next President is a secret Toastie is just way, way too witches.
I’m so emotional right now. This is amazing.
Is it too late to get a “Hillary is Too Witches” tote made?
I HAVE NO ABILITY TO MAKE SUCH A THING BUT I WOULD BUY THAT IN THE THOUSANDS.
new item in her campaign store, perhaps?
It is never too late!!!
In keeping with The Toast’s nautical theme, I hereby nominate Hillary Clinton to be Pirate Queen of the Nerd Witches.
SECONDED
HERE IS ALL MY MONEY
Would buy.
Toastie President is the most comforting thought I have ever had about a politician.
IT IS.
IT’S ALL OF THE WITCHES
I am witches!
So say we all!
All of the yes!
Holy shit!!!!!
If someone else hadn’t said it, I was going to have to say it.
EXCUSE ME
Well now I’m crying even more but I’m also really inspired. Nicole, Nikki, Mallory, everyone – you are heroes, and no matter what else you do in this world you’ll always have touched my life truly deeply. That I should be so lucky as to achieve something like you have done here.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I am glad to know at least one candidate has an official stance on The Toast. Probably the best weird thing to come out of this election.)
Yes! Of all the craziness that is 2016, this one is the opposite of horrifying.
I LOVE YOU
This is perfect. You’re perfect!
FINALLY!
Is it okay if I share this?
Absolutely!
Perfection.
This is ART
I’m…I’m actually crying here.
YES I WAS SO THINKING ABOUT THOSE STUPID MEMES.
Like, it seriously bugged me how half the internet were all like “Bernie Sanders is a hip grandpa and Hillary Clinton is an annoying old nag who’s out of touch with young people”. Bernie is older than Hillary first of all and OMG ALL THE SEXISM contained in that infuriating idea.
And of course Hillary defeats this god damn meme by being… actually hip to something culturally relevant on the internet that is for and about women.
I have never felt so vindicated in my life.
I have a friend who is so BernieBro! that he refuses to vote for Hillary, who he considers to be as bad as Trump. I love the guy, I do (he’s gay, too, which I DO NOT GET; Edit: I don’t get why he would support Trump as a gay man, not that I don’t get him being gay), but he’s all like, “She’s evil, look at all the foreign policy stuff she allowed like wars and crap, and also she’s owned by Wall Street and is super corrupt and also she’s racist.”
“With Hillary we know we’ll get war. At least with Trump, we might not.” = Actual thing he said.
And I don’t agree with all she has done or said, but damn, seriously? I love the guy, but I may have to unfollow him on FB for the duration of election season.
Posting this to say that I am HERE for her. It’s sincere, this “Note on The Toast,” and I have never been, as was said above, so successfully pandered to 🙂
BEAUTIFUL.
YES!!
Asking if Hillary wanted to receive her fifty dollar freelancing payment via check or PayPal was one of the best moments of my life.
…did she buy a tote, tho?
Which did she go for?
Spear all the way
ASDFJKL:!!!!!!!
I am gasp-laughing in shock and delight and sadness oh my god
i should have never doubted that you guys would find a way to make the worst day into the best day oh my god
Amen
THE LAST TOAST AUTHOR ACCOUNT I SET UP WAS FOR OUR FUTURE PRESIDENT
HUZZAH!
I really liked her bio, too!
She thinks your hair looks great exactly as it is.
Wonderful.
Just another thing she is CORRECT about.
Please god tell me she wrote that herself. Hillary Clinton likes my hair.
Nicole, did she write her own bio? Please please tell me she wrote her own bio!
Either she did or one of her aides did, yes.
^^^ me right now
OMG
Nicole. Nicole. I can’t even right now. This. The…this. What.
It took me a long time to notice it while still Deeply In My Feels, but omg so cute <3 <3 <3
I hope you took a screenshot because one day it will be in the Smithsonian
AHHHHHHH
The world is vast and embraces us all!
First you get retweeted by Lin-Manuel Miranda, and now this! 🙂
Turns out 14 hours of adrenaline rushes is survivable. So far.
Wait, what???
This comment is making me cry again.
I look forward to seeing The-Toast.net appear on her future tax returns.
I’m now envisioning a puzzled-looking Man on a Sunday morning talk show asking “what is this ‘Manderley LLC’?”
I’m excited that Manderley LLC could end up A Thing that goes in the Presidential Archives or whatever happens when the comb through your finances.
Ohhhh – can you imagine how kickass her Prez Library will be?
Funniest. Comment. Ever.
2000+ thumbs up to this comment. Out in a goddamn blaze of glory.
Hillary Clinton is in the pocket of Big Toast.
We could have a president who knows the truth about Ronbledore.
I was crying and now you’re making me cry and laugh.
FINALLY
I’m a one-issue Ronbledore voter so this is very good news for me
Laughing so hard I’m crying
Never thought The Toast could end on such a high note
Seriously, this is the best comment I’ve read all day. Thanks for making me have to hold in my laughs at work one last time in memory of The Toast 😀
I don’t laugh out loud from reading very often, but you got me.
please just let her slip a quiet little executive order in there somewhere
Literal lolz
FINALLY the president we deserve
FINALLY.
The president holds the highest Security Clearance in the country. I’m sure that allows for the full Truth About Ronbledore.
The Minister of Magic’s head will appear in the fireplace in the Residence some night when she’s just chillin’ with a glass of wine and her well-loved copy of Texts from Jane Eyre.
[laugh-crying]
“ALL THE SIGNS ARE RIGHT THERE” –Hillary, probably
Thank you.
HILLARY LIKES TWO MONKS
THIS IS SO DELIGHTFUL
You better believe I am working that into my intro to art history class next year
Why not just have the lectures be 100% using Two Monks to deconstruct art. Semester lesson plan done! 🙂
Seriously, this is what I want in our nation’s leader.
um do you want to join the slack group madam secretary
CAN YOU IMAGINE?!
you don’t even have to tell us your name, you can just come chill and yell about game of thrones and be too witches for this shit with us
in the muchfuriosa channel
“I’m up for a promotion and this dude I’m competing for it with…good lord”
DYING. That is… so good.
[cackling like hag]
Cackled, mumbled “Oh, my God,” happily, love love love.
“he’s basically Donald Trump”
WHAT IF SHE’S ALREADY COMMENTED SOMEWHERE.
WHAT IF SHE’S YOU.
I’m Spartacus! I mean, Hillary!
I mean, how do you know she’s not there already?
I feel like we in the slack group could be a helpful source of positive, nonjudgemental support in the coming years. You should really consider it, Madam Secretary.
Plus, we don’t have any grandmas in the parent group yet. You could probably be a big help.
Sadly, I somehow missed knowledge of The Toast until about a month ago. But I will gladly join this slack group. Am a grandma.
It is bound to be more suitable than Mumsnet, or worse, Gransnet. (Am in the UK, but American).
Where is this slack?
Email ppyajunebug at gmail dot com for the invite. Also, come join us at the subreddit, r/ToastCrumbs!
I would love to see her contributions to #workworkwork
Same for #dirtbags
Hey ummmm I do? Can I? Please guys?
Do you mean you want to join the Toast slack group? Sure ,just email ppyajunebug at gmail dot com for the invite.
ALSO let’s never forget that Margaret Atwood may be among us.
holy shit.
What. Whaaaat. WHAT.
WHAT THE FUCK HOW.
OH MY GOD.
TOAST FOR PRESIDENT?!
TOAST
TOAST
TOAST FOR PRESIDENTTT
My heart stopped for a moment.
Wow. Wow. Wow. I just. Wow.
YESS!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you, Hills. I think my hair looks great too. Big hair, no heart.
(Oh my god you guys)
Oh my god, oh my god you guys, Hills is here to win the prize!
Well shit.
Jaw, meet floor.
I’ve got nothing.
Holy shit.
I live in Maryland so this whole Barbara Mikulski parallel has officially killed me dead. Thank you all.
ME TOOOOOOO
Grew up in Maryland, also dead. SENATOR BARB.
MARYLANDERS UNITE BARB FOREVER
SAAAAME
Right? This was worth the read for that alone!
FELLOW MARYLANDER CHECKING IN!! FUCK YEAH BARB!!
BARB! Maryland transplant and pretty much a Terp4Lyfe.
I grew up in Maryland, and I’ve been a fan of Barbara Mikulski for years. Love her.
Same! Babs has been a bitch getting stuff done for a long time, and this letter from Hillary that includes Babs is the best thing that has ever happened.
So…. MD Toasties meetup?
YASSSS! Barb is my utter favorite! Maryland Toasties! All the feels!
I’m Californian & I love me some Barbara Mikulski too!
Wow. Thank you, Madam Secretary.
What a way for this site to go out.
Wooooaaahhhh… I just signed up to volunteer for you, lady!
OH MY GOD now I am SOBBING at my desk rather just weeping.
Honestly honestly this is one of the most mind boggling moments on my life.
My jaw is on the ground.
Hillary, my candidate, MY NEXT PRESIDENT slsdkjflksdjf
This is probably the closest I will get to meeting one of my heroes and WOAHH I cannot stop crying
Me too! Filled with joy and sadness!
I’m home today or I’d be wandering around the office in a stupor, crying, trying to show everyone my phone. So amazing!!
Saaaaaaame.
She was reading “It’s 2050 and Feminism Has Finally Won” for inspiration, no doubt
Obv she is looking at Two Monks or reading the well-moderated comments sections.
Guys, she is CLEARLY reading “Books literally all white men own” and being v dismayed by the number of them sitting on her husband’s bookshelf.
Guys, p. sure she’s reading Friendship on the Agenda. Madam Secretary, the people need to know. Friendship bracelets: y/n?
I came to post this pic! Who needs dank memes?
Well now I’m crying.
Which Toasties are working on the campaign?
Like of course there are Toasties working on the Hillary Clinton campaign. Of course.
Well I wasn’t crying before but I am NOW, OH MY GOD.
I second that emotion. I’m not a crier. I try not to have emotions and I’m not sentimental, but somehow, this one got me. This one got me good.
One of my favorite things about The Toast in recent months has been that it is the only place on the internet that I can express any pro-Hillary or not-in-love-with-Bernie sentiments without people (men) jumping down my throat. Shouldn’t be surprising that Hillary was a covert Toastie all along!
YES, this! I have become increasingly unimpressed with Bernie as the primary season has wore on, and there haven’t been many Hillary safe spaces on the internet at large.
I’m so happy I’m not the only one. I mean, I don’t regret my Bernie primary vote, but I will more than okay with voting for Hilary in November. Partly because of the increasing lack of impression from the Bernie side.
are you me lol
This is a gift. My heart is full. Thank you
OR MAYBE SHE IS
Too Witches !
HILLARY IS TOO WITCHES
Hillary is the MOST witches!
Someone needs to program slackbot to respond to “Hillary” with “MOST WITCHES” asap.
Her Witchiest
Def TOO WITCHES
so: proof that Broad City is also full of Toasties promoting the pro-witches agenda, y/y?
I’m not crying at my desk why would I be crying at my desk at all or anything
(hi hillary, I think you’re great)
!!!!!!!!
DEAD.
I know that’s a shitty comment but seriously.
DEAD.
*hand to forehead* … faints …
well setting a reminder to check the site at 10 turned out to be worth it
I messed up my time zones and was an hour late. Still worth it.
I woke up at quarter-to-7 PST and decided to just lay there scrolling through comments on Open Thread for 15 minutes.
Who am I kidding I do that every day.
Man, now I really wish I could vote in the US.
May you be blessed with your own Hillary Clinton candidate in the future! (And may you never have a Trump. Never, ever, ever.)
AAAAAAAAHHHHHH
Thank you, Thank you Hilary, and thank you Nicole and Mallory and Nikki and you ALL.
Amen. So say we all.
So say we all!
I don’t
I can’t
Yes we can
As we look back at what this site has meant to so many of you, I hope you’ll also look forward and consider how you might make your voice heard in whatever arenas matter most to you. Speak your opinion more fervently in your classes if you’re a student, or at meetings in your workplace. Proudly take credit for your ideas. Have confidence in the value of your contributions. And if the space you’re in doesn’t have room for your voice, don’t be afraid to carve out a space of your own.
This is exactly what The Toast has been for me – a place where I learned to do that. To take up space in the world and demand that it be respected. To learn how to make people hear me.
My candidate is a Toastie. My next president is a Toastie
So. fuckin. proud. THESE ARE MY PEOPLE, YOU GUYS. THIS IS MY CREW.
I AGREE and my heart is so full <3
You guys, this is so unfair. We’re gonna get stuck with Brexit and Michael Gove while the USA gets a Toastie in the White House.
I know! Do any USA Toasties want to marry me? i’m a terrible housekeeper and cook but I do have my own bayonet.
10/10 would marry you for a bayonet.
How does one obtain a bayonet?
By proposing to Dangerfield5
Saaaaaame! No bayonet though. BRB just going to check for interesting dower goods
Come to Massachusetts and live in a state of Holy Toastrimony!
I’m a good cook, so that’s not a skill set I desperately require in a spouse. The bayonet, however, is an impressive resume item.
I legit freaked when I saw the White House and the byline, and was in tears by this paragraph. HOW. WHAT. IS. EVEN. HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.
Last night was the first time I ever spoke up to a man who went on a rant about “Black lives matter is such bullshit. ALL LIVES MATTER.” and I calmly kept my shit together and we had a civil discussion for like 10 minutes about how wrong he was, and while I might not have fully convinced him, I at least got him to listen and respond respectfully. !!!!!!!!!
And I have The Toast (Nikki especially) and The Establishment and other amazing places like this to thank for giving me the perspective, and confidence, and clear-headed logic to speak up when someone comes at me with some ignorant bullshit like that.
Toasties for President forever!
IF HILLARY CLINTON READS THIS COMMENT I AM SURE SHE WOULD INTERNET HIGH FIVE YOU
WELL DONE, GO YOU, ETC
This actually made me tear up and now I am sending it to my mom who is super pro-Hillary. I don’t know how I’m going to do anything useful today.
Wow. What an inspiring thought.
Yes. I was going to post that same excerpt. So true and so powerful.
In case there’s a tally being kept, this is where I got teary.
Oh my god that gave me chills.
!!!!!!
WHAT. (I think your hair looks great exactly as it is too, Hillary Clinton!)
AND ALSO, I have always thought that. Even when people were ripping you apart for your headbands, which I loved.
On a serious note, I was just a little girl when you wore those headbands, Madame Secretary. Thank you so much for enduring all the sexist, appearance-based mud slung your way so that I could grow up in a world where we are about to have a female president.
This. I have literally been waiting to vote for her since I was twelve.
HOLY SHIT!!!! ???? !!!!
oh my god oh my god
W H A T
Thank you. For the reminder to keep forging communities out of the relationships amd lessons we have gained in beloved communities that are no longer spaces we can inhabit for whatever reason.
Yes. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
CRYING. This.
😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
Actually crying. I love you, the-toast.
I freaked out when I saw the White House pic, then byline, and immediately called one of my friends volunteering for the HRC campaign: “Check.The Toast.Right.Now. OMG.”
Excited for DC Toasties meet up today!!
wait, DC Toasties meetup? where and when? is there a DC Toasties group?
Same!
I found a Reddit group and from there a DC Toast Google group and applied just now
Well, holy shit. This is equal parts shocking and not at all surprising. Hillary and I read the same internets and value the same content.
I am sofa king thrilled for all of you. How surreal it must be to know that you created content and a community that appeals to a presidential candidate, and not just any presidential candidate, but the single most qualified candidate in history.
This is one hell of a mic drop.
ONE HELL OF A MIC DROP INDEED
OH MY GOD
You know, I really needed this today. This is actually making me feel hopeful and better.
We’re ending on a high note, for sure!!
“Our hearts full, our eyes clear, we take to the sea.”
WHAT.
Well, now I feel really good that the ToastSlack #politics channel is pretty much non-stop Team Hillary. And Hamilton jokes.
Non-stop. Of course there are Hamilton jokes. 🙂
heyyyy I just met you yesterday! <3
oH. My. GOD.
aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Holy shit.
Are. You. Kidding. Me.
crying at my desk.
!!!!! wordless flailing !!!!!
Let’s get to work.
!!!! flailing resumes !!!!
What’s next?
(I’d post a West Wing gif or image here, but I still don’t know how to do that properly.)
Oh. My. God. Stop making me cry at work, ma’am!!
“Remember, I am with you always to the end of the age.”
oh my god MY PEOPLE
I opened this and literally had to slap both hands over my mouth to keep from screaming. WHAAAAAAAAAAAT
ETA: Ms. Clinton, when you become President, please start at least one meeting with a “too witches” joke
I am now daydreaming about the moment she accepts Trump’s concession after the election. “I was always too witches to lose.”
You know what would kill me in the happiest way? If she guest-starred on “Madam Secretary” and she and Elizabeth McCord traded “too witches” jokes. Or even interjected a “take to the sea” comment in a tedious meeting.
Wow wow wow wow wow. Wow.
I thought I’d just feel dead inside all day, but now I’m actually crying.
Holy SHIT, you guys!
Holy shit
(I can’t believe I’m swearing in the comments on a piece written by the future POTUS, but hey!)
This has me welling up and sniffling at my desk. Thank you for writing this– it really crystallizes everything I love and will miss about the Toast, being in a male-dominated industry. Sometimes you guys are the only women I get to talk to all day! But we’re going to change that!
I’m moving to DC to go to law school next year, and it feels slightly less scary knowing that one of my neighbors (you know, the one living in the big white place) is a Toastie.
Are you me? I am not law tho.
I have recently begun working at a mostly-women office, and it is such a delight I don’t have words to express it.
DC in general is not very scary, although…there are some parts. IDK where you’re moving from, but as a general guideline if the rent in the place you’re looking seems affordable there will be a very good reasons for that. A lot of people have to make the choice between a lengthy commute and having enough money to eat.
I’ve found that a 45 – 1 hr commute is tolerable with an ereader or games, but >1 hr was just too unpredictable. YMMV.
WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.
*checks computer to make sure this is my actual computer and not some elaborate hoax*
OMG WHAT. Our…our little site. Our site, you guys! I JUST…wow
I believe it’s true, I just don’t believe it.
I was already tearing up at Nicole’s final link round up but this made me immediately burst into tears due to both surprise and emotions.
💗
OH EM EFFING GEE
Heart-eye emojis everywhere.
This. Site. This. Effing. Site.
NEAR-PRESIDENT CLINTON DID YOU READ MY LONG ESSAY FROM WEDS and if so did you like it, I know you are a busy world-shaper so I will just assume no response means yes to both
edit: tuesday I mean, I got all discombobulated
p.s. I hear there’s a final dc toast meetup tonight sooooo
WHERE??
Somebody in the morning thread said portrait gallery courtyard but that’s all I know!
I need to go to that thread and see!!
Quote from morning thread: “Yes there is! Meeting at the Portrait Gallery courtyard starting at 4:30. The gallery closes at 7, but I imagine some of us will be up for a second location, so you should come even if you can’t get there until later. “
I’m not Hillary Clinton, but wow, I totally missed that you wrote another essay! I loved the bookselling essay so much I used the first sentence in a let’s-talk-about-first-sentences exercise with some high school students last month.
holy shit, thanks! I forgive you for not being Hillary I GUESS.
(and the first one was ok but the last one has some of the best sentences I ever built. Hillary if you want someone to add fancy metaphors to your speechcraft you know where to find me)
“A woman who will tell the truth to you will someday tell the truth about you.” Wonderful, truly. I hope to see more of your work in the post-Toast world.
be back after I search ‘bookselling’ ‘the Toast’
You are going to be the best president, and I am honored to get to vote for you.
THANK YOU!
Two Monks Write A Presidential Inauguration Speech
(jokes aside this is awesome as all heck)
“Proudly take credit for your ideas. Have confidence in the value of your contributions. And if the space you’re in doesn’t have room for your voice, don’t be afraid to carve out a space of your own.”
Just aside from how fucking incredible this all is, I really really needed those words today.
Definitely going to carry these with me for a very long time.
I’m going to get this tattooed on my face.
this is totes amaze, WHY did I choose today to have an extra coffee, my heart is going to explode, MY GOD
<3 <3 <3
Gonna bookmark this and keep it forever.
it me
It literally me, but it also spiritually me.
!!!!!!!!!!!
Delurked for the first time to say ARE YOU ACTUALLY FUCKING KIDDING ME??? Sweet jesu.
I feel a bit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0IQCLQDfKw
what is even happening right now
I’m weeping at work.
Thank you, Toastarians. This place has increased the baseline level of kindness in the world.
I’ve been waiting for a woman president since I could read. I’m over 40 now. It’s time, it’s way past time. Thank you, Hillary.
YES. THIS.
Perfection.
#imwithher
Whoa, was not expecting that! Nicole for Vice President, Nikki for Supreme Court and Mallory for, let’s say, Secretary of Space Witches.
I feel like Mallory would make a really great Press Secretary.
Best Press Secretary since CJ Cregg.
Mallory does The Jackal?
Well. There we go, then!
Just when I thought I could not be any happier with the Democratic nominee, this.
I don’t think I’ve taken a breath since reading this. WHAT. WHAT WHAT WHAT.
Uh, I now have ambitions for the presidency, if it means I have a team to bring me the internets.
READ ME THE TOAST, AND THEN WE BITCHES SHALL GET SHIT DONE.
No question, this has made me 110% more proud to have voted for Hillary in the primaries and to be voting for her in November. What an incredible validation of The Toast and everything it stands for.
okay I was hoping for a “best of deleted comments” but I think this is going to be better omg omg omg omg.
okay, going to actually read it now.
We will never see the deleted comments on THIS though. Maybe for the best?
Definitely for the best! We can imagine, based on, you know, the rest of the Internet, and it isn’t pretty.
I
oh my gosh
I’M DYING!!!! WHAAAATTTT??!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!
“Why is there a picture of the White House on Canada Day??”
*sees byline*
Literal jaw drop. THIS IS SO GREAT!
So many feelings are happening inside me right now. This is so wonderful.
This is the first time ever I wish I were a US citizen and could vote over there.
SAME. I mean – Canada is pretty close to the US, that should get me at least half a vote, right?
Wow what an amazing send off! <3
Thank you, Ms. Clinton. May I be able to say, “Thank you, Madam President” in the near future.
We are so honored.
(Y’ALL, I AM DYING RIGHT NOW)
YESSSSSSSSS.
I’m also now imagining her listening to Two Monks in the car while her assistant reads it, allowing her public face to relax as she laughs, Mallory’s humor shoring up her faith in humanity a little bit as it has for me so many times, and I am actually sobbing right now.
I’m with her, and she’s with us. #PRESIDENTTOASTIE
YASSSSS KWEEN
WOAH
#imwithwitches
OUR FIRST TASK IS TO MAKE THIS HASHTAG HAPPEN, ALRIGHT?
I’M DOWN!
I am hyperventilating and having a Leslie Knope moment.
What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful place. And also, what a great author bio! All the best in November!
MADAM PRESIDENT
TOAST PRESIDENT
!!!!
I DO NOT NEED TO BE CRYING THIS HARD AT 8 O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING!
I’m running for office BECAUSE OF THE TOAST and BECAUSE OF HILLARY I feel like two points in space and time that should never have touched have touched and now ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE
You’re Hillary endorsed.
Pretty sure I can’t put that on my campaign materials tho
You are a hero.
Very much no but thank you for saying so
That is the job of the Toast commentariat 🙂 to remind each other of our awesomeness 🙂
I think of you all the time. We were there cheering you on, and now she is, too, and please keep at it. Toasties at all levels of government. This is the future.
100% utopian (ban men)
YOU ARE UNSTOPPABLE
Go get ’em!! Kick butt and be awesome!
Oh man, now I’m crying again.
Well, I was all set to be super sad about The Toast closing and now I’m just so happy?
Thanks, Hillary.
(no really, thank you Hillary!! I am so verklempt right now)
This was the best possible gift on such a somber occasion. Glad to know you’ve been on this ride with us, Hillary.
Can I just say….Thank you? Thank you, Mrs. Clinton, for a genuinely moving note to all of us working our way through this silly universe as women (or supporters of women, hey dudes!), and thank you to Nikki, Nicole, & Mallory for giving us such a wonderful community, such thoughtful, hilarious, and inspiring posts by so many (seriously, SO MANY) amazing, diverse writers. I didn’t post in the link roundup, but I’m honestly just so appreciative of all of you. So much love, my dear space witches and toasties. Let’s keep pushing forward, on to the sea, and never look back.
THIS
Hillary Clinton, If you are reading these comments:
A photo of you and my mom has sat on our mantel for the past 24 years. Circa 1992, you were touring some pediatric oncology wards. My brother was two years old and in one of those wards, being treated for leukemia.
The story goes, you showed up to the ward and did your rounds. One of the women you met was wearing a royal blue velour track suit. The story goes that you said “I hope your son makes a speedy recovery” and the woman in that really unfortunate blue track suit cried as you hugged her and shook her hand. That woman was my mother.
I’m sure you’ve met so many people in the course of your career as first lady and then senator, but I want you to know that my brother will turn 25 in a few months, and he is doing great, and there is still a picture of you and my mom shaking hands as she chokes back tears sitting framed on our mantel. During this entire campaign my mother has been an ardent Hillary supporter. When you ask her why, she has always said “I met her once, and she was a really lovely person, even though I cried on her.”
And now I learn that you like two monks and published something on The Toast that caused me to let out a whole string of expletives (thank GOD no one else was in the office). We are not worthy. And because my mom never got to say it: Thank you.
Wow, this is an amazing story.
No you’re crying
NO JOKE I TOTALLY AM
I was holding it together, but now I’m not! Wonderful story, thank you for sharing. : )
Ok tearing up.
Oh my god, all the tears.
Oh goddamn, that is the best. I’m so glad for you all! (what no I’m not crying it’s raining in here dammit)
oh geez oh geez now I’m crying again oh geez
SORRY EVERYONE, MY BAD
DO NOT APOLOGIZE I DON’T CARE IF WE ARE ALL CRYING
It’s OK, it’s GOOD crying.
If it hadn’t been you, it would have been somebody (everybody) else.
I had just finished crying now I’m crying again. THANKS!
Wow, this is so beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
AW! <3
HOLY SHIT Y’ALL
HOW LUCKY WE ARE TO BE ALIVE RIGHT NOW
i have now cried twice today over the toast. i love you all & i’m with her & we’re all too witches for this world
let us go forth and make the world more witches <3
It is my birthday today, and as sad as I am about The Toast closing, this is the Best. Birthday present! Ever!
Birthday twin! Happy birthday to us!
Birthday triplets!
Happy birthday!
oh my fucking god i can’t
i need to go lie down for 45 minutes
no, an hour. a FULL HOUR
eta: it sounds like you all have been making my partner laugh and suspiciously tear up at his desk all morning too. what a morning.
Why am I crying?!!?!?
Oh my fucking God, a writer for The Toast is going to be president! Let that sink in!
Hillary Clinton received a $50 freelance check from the Toast. Let’s all just think about how absolutely perfect that is.
She’ll be the first but I bet not the last Toastie to lead a country!
OH MY EVERLOVING GOD
I have literal chills. This is incredible. I’m printing out this post and it’s going right under my other Toast inspiration quote. LOVE.
Holy crap, y’all.
I don’t have any words. Thank you.
I made a very audible startled noise and my coworkers asked me if I was ok, the answer is YES and also NO.
(also A+ byline)
Wow.
what if every President from now on is a Toastie
what if Toastie political party
what if entire generation raised on Toastie public policy
[blub]
THIS IS TOO WITCHES FOR ME
My feelings are so confused, but I have settled on “Nikki and Nicole and Mallory are so cool and so funny that they have built something even HRC knows about.”
I’m so happy that Hillary Clinton has probably seen Women Ignoring Men in Western Art History
SAME
MIND BLOWN.
She lives that life, I feel.
Hillary Clinton has spent decades ignoring men. She ignores men professionally.
🙂 now my heart is glowing.
It just occurred to me that Hillary Clinton may very well have seen my AU Air Force One comment!fic where I imagined her kicking Donald Trump out of Air Force One, with a growled “get off my plane.” Hillary Clinton may have read that. And possibly allowed herself a small, triumphant smile.
Motherfucking YES
Just, uh, gonna step away and discreetly cry into my coffee for a moment.
My heart is swelling with so much pride in and affection for all of you UGH
I’ve loved and been behind Hillary for 19 years–ever since I heard her speak at my college in 1997 after I waited in line for 6 hours for tickets. I didn’t think I could love her more, but . . . wow.
I just googled “Hillary Clinton Toast” because I was curious to see if anyone had picked this up–the only results are bad shit, like, “Hillary’s campaign is through, it’s toast!” But she actually *is* Toast! I dunno, I thought it was funny.
-crying-
Smiling and crying at the same time, which I have done SO MANY times reading The Toast but never with this level of pride and happiness and emotional intensity. I love what this community has done.
Where? What! A+ Gif.
Oh look at me and my vow that I wouldn’t cry at all today.
This feels like a commencement address. Wow. Thank you.
I was just about to say, BEST COMMENCEMENT SPEECH EVER.
I feel like we can all move on from our beautiful, safe enclave to the messy world and keep it with us to be brave and fight for what needs to be. FIGHT FOR YOUR SPACE, Hillary said so.
*Pomp & Circumstance plays*
Well. This on top of a hangover and I am now sniffling at work. WHY MUST THE TOAST CLOSE?!
Quick, someone look up how to vote for her to be our Queen.
So Toast is president now, yes?! Also, wow, what a way to go out, guys.
She totally cribbed an entire section of my good-bye re: feminism and women’s voices. I was already going to vote for her, so I guess I have to campaign for her now since she is IN MY HEAD.
Why exactly am I crying my face off right now? Seriously, crying so hard I had to take a break from typing and make sure my ribs were staying put.
Get it, Hills. I think you are exactly Too Witches enough to president for The Toast and live to tell the tale. (I feel like it would be appropriately Toastie if you got sworn in an admiral’s hat with spectacular plumes. And a sword. Think about it.)
OK, but who are the Toasties on Hillary’s team, bringing her Toast-posts? Please raise your hands.
*MUPPETFLAIL*
SOMEONE GO FIND ME THAT GIF, STAT
Kermitflail currently flailing on comments page 2, emotion being shared by evvvvveryone in this thread.
You rang?
Ahahahaha!!
Glad I took the day off/ am at home because I just screamed so loud at this I freaked my cat out (she’s under the bed). OMGGGGGGGG
Oh my goodness. I am speechless. And crying.
F*ck it. i’m a real mess now.
ETA: Go.
OH MY ACTUAL GOD I have nothing but I have to write something on this historic post. You guys. This is just … MIND. BLOWN. I love you all.
WHAT IF SHE HAS A TOTE
My guess? Misandry Mermaid.
I will die if I see her carrying that. File an early ballot and then die of joy.
What if she tried to order one but they were sold out?? As much as I’m looking forward to getting mine, if she wants it, I will contribute to the greater good and send it to her.
What if she has a tote and also contributed to the Toast Tote Bursary? I’m going to choose to believe that my tote was purchased for me by Hillary Clinton.
OMG SAME
I will do my best!
No way! Toastie for president!
I think this is when someone says this won the internet, we can all go home now, except in this case it’s actually true. *sob* But oh my god, what a way to commemorate the space that the Toast has been for all of us, from our first female president all the way down to, well, me. 🙂 Thank you, Nicole and Mallory, for creating the Toast. And thank you to Hillary Clinton and her staff for recognizing the amazing work and the amazing people here. <3 #Imwithher
We can’t go home, because we’re already home, right here on the Toast.
And so we shall take to the sea instead!
Okay but you guys, who decided to put this in the “advice” tag?? Because just when I thought I couldn’t possibly be more grateful to the Toast, this happened: http://the-toast.net/category/advice/.
I love all of you, and I can’t imagine a more fitting coda. Too witches forever.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT YALL!!
I managed not to cry about this the whole time but NOW I’m tearing up at work.
Fuck.
Shit.
I love you all. Carry on my beautiful witches.
I said it on twitter, but I wish I wasn’t already voting for her so that this could change my mind.
I know Democracy is the…opposite of a carefully and wonderfully moderated comment section, like we’ve had here at the toast. Dissent and differing voices and free speech, all great and wonderful things! Lovely community of like-minded people works on the small scale! Countries have different rules!
But gosh, I cannot wait for this woman to be Head Moderator over the glorious mess that is America. I think the loss (not loss! transformation!) of this smaller community, is momentarily softened by the thought that our great screwed up nation could become just a little more Toast-like.
“I know Democracy is the…opposite of a carefully and wonderfully moderated comment section”
Psssst I actually don’t think this is true. People shouting meaningless words or threats in order to silence other voices is hardly democratic. Go forth and enjoy well-moderated comment sections with no guilt or shame!
True!! I guess I mean that while I’m grateful that Nicole is our benevolent overlord protecting us from the Deleted Commenters, i recognize that IRL free speech is necessary… And even when HRC is POTUS we’ll still have lots of people trying to shout others down.
May we all have well-moderated comments sections where we can find sanctuary 🙂
It is awfully nice to think of Hillary Clinton having a wonderfully moderated comments section, just this once.
I hope the news coverage of this doesn’t make the Nicoles’ job too hard; though they surely knew what they were nobly signing up for.
Yesterday the Two Monks made me cry. Today it was Hillary Clinton.
OK then!
All I can say his ILU HILLARY and I’ll be block walking and registering voters this fall.
WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHATTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t even know how to explain how wonderful this is and how much it means to me. Thank you, Madame Secretary, and to your team, and to The Toast. What a wonderful send-off!
Thank fuck I didn’t have time to put mascara on this morning!
THIS IS A PERFECT TOAST COMMENT (and SAME)
Waterproof mascara: for those times when presidential candidates turn out to be too witches.
I WAS VERY VALIANTLY NOT CRYING BUT NOW I AM
I utterly fucking lost it at that author bio. I cannot think of any better way The Toast could’ve ended.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. To all of you. I know we’re all going to go out there and make everyone here proud, goddamit!
Now excuse me while I go scream into my pillow for the next ten minutes or so. Just. FUCK.
do you think my boss would understand if I told her I can’t come to work today because I’m sobbing about Hillary Clinton posting on The Toast
YOU GUYS. I asked if the Bartender was Hillary or Yoko… AND NOW I KNOW.
Perfect. I’ve been reflecting lately on the professional confidence I’ve learned from The Toast and how all of this has so completely changed my life for the better. This message is all of that and wow. Thank you.
AHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHH!!!
I have nothing coherent to say but I wanted my wild muppet flailing to become PART OF HISTORY LIKE THIS POST OMG.
I…. this… wow.
I finally register to comment on the last day of the Toast, even though I’ve been reading forever.
THIS AMAZING WHAT IS HAPPENING ahhhhhhhhhhh
Awesome! Picture Andy Dwyer tossing gross petals in the air over and over! Really wish I’d have figured out how to post gifs before today.
Here, go out with a bang: http://hooniverse.com/image-embed/
WHAT WHAT WHAT?!
Thank you Madame President!
(Does this mean Hillary is going to join our Slack Team? Quick, someone send her an invite!)
So which toast tote does everyone think she got?
I’m going with big hair no heart.
We are ensorceled! I’m full of joy and adrenaline reading this, full of even more hope about the future under this leadership than I was. Onward to greatness!!
I’m crying. Printing this out to hang in my office.
I’m going to carry the mental image of Hillary Clinton having a quiet chuckle while reading Two Monks in my heart for the rest of my life.
I’m just going to go cry all day now thanks Obama. (Thanks Hillary?)
(ps I have lurked here for years but this is why I finally made an account instead of just posting anon. [jeybecques])
A+ username, bee tee dubs.
Knowing that my image has been used as a reaction image to a post written by Hillary Clinton…I’m dead.
I woke up crying this morning, but these have been happy tears.
Thank you.
I haven’t even made it into the link roundup yet, I’m barely even awake, but this made me SOB and laugh.
Hey Hillz, I applied to work for your campaign a few weeks back, gimme a call!
psst created this account just to reply semi-anon — i am one of the (surely many) toasties on campaign staff, if you still haven’t heard back shoot me an email? kirlay at gmail – no idea if my state or dept is at all related to what you’re looking for but happy to try and help!! these comment will self-destruct in an hour or two. 🙂
Reaction 1 – OH MY GOD.
Reaction 2 – oh please don’t let her have read my comments, especially the ones where I was shrieking about Benedict Cumberbatch, please please please
BUT MAYBE SHE WAS ONE OF THE UPVOTES ON THOSE COMMENTS, YOU NEVER KNOW
Is this real life?! Future president and queen of my heart, Hillary Clinton, reads the Toast! It’s only 7:30 AM! What can possibly follow this?
Squotchles for Hillary!
Locking down the coveted too witches demo, respect.
(I always knew she got me)
(a) HOLY SHIT
(b) COME JOIN US ON SLACK PLEASE COME BE TOO WITCHES WITH US
Julie Andrews and I approve. We have been absent, but we approve.
Also: WHAT
I don’t normally post comments this early in the day because work, but.
Holy fuck. I started crying halfway through and then started laughing while crying while reading the comments. This is amazing. Hillary is amazing. You are all amazing.
Oh I’m just crying.
Just…
cryyyyyyying.
I didn’t think I could like her more than I already did.
I was wrong.
this has been injected directly into my heart
All this week I’ve been anxious, worried about yet another plot of social ground to be pulled away from under my feet. All camaraderie and thoughtful contact we will all miss out on, at the end of this day. I was afraid, afraid that I’d never be able to fill this void.
I’m not afraid anymore. Thank you, Hillary.
Made it through the last link roundup/open thread opening without crying, but this one did it for me.
Ahhhhhhhh. Wow.
We’re going to have a Toastie president!!! It’s fitting that my most popular comment here included this gif:

I JUST FIGURED IT OUT
THE TOAST IS CLOSING SO IT CAN FOCUS ON ITS RUN FOR VICE PRESIDENT
CLINTON/THE-TOAST.NET 2016
SLOGANS, GO!
JUST WITCHES ENOUGH 2016!
Best last day of something, ever.
Thank you, Madames Secretary, Cliffe, Ortberg, and Chung
(I figure at this point all four of you get a title)
THIS IS AMAZING! And I’m copying/pasting it, making a document outta of it, then printing it and hanging it on my fridge so I can be inspired every goddamn day.
Full on crying big blubbery tears now!
I was holding it together through all The Toast farewell posts, but then this. This. Thank you, Toast and thank you Madam Secretary.
This is the best way The Toast could have gone out!
This has been a very strange morning, but I’m glad that this is good weird- and not terrible weird, like all the other stuff.
Ever since I entered the Win Tickets to See Hamilton with Hillary Clinton! contest, I have pictured two moments: sitting down in my seat as the show is about to begin, and shaking her hand when I meet her. AND NOW I HAVE THE BEST ICE-BREAKER LINE IN THE WORLD: “Madam Secretary, it’s an honor, and I loved your piece on The Toast!”
If you win, you have GOT to figure out a way to let us know.
THIS I SWEAR
I too have been fantasizing about winning that contest, but mostly about all the ways I would Lose My Shit and how I’d have to write down everything I wanted to say to her ahead of time in order to have the slightest hope of being coherent.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
Hillary is a Toastie! BRB going to troll the open threads for “I’m up for a promotion, and my key competition is a bloated orange sack of racism and entitlement with a air of fascism about him who is woefully underqualified and has a platform that he can’t elaborate upon in any way. Meanwhile everyone is trying to accuse ME of being the untrustworthy one. Help, Toastie friends!”
Meanwhile this actually made my holiday weekend.
Best “Dear Businesslady” ever
Anybody else click on Hillary Clinton’s name to see if she had secretly written a piece for The Toast before?
Honestly, this makes me a lot more optimistic for the future. Maybe everything is going to be okay, after all.
Thank you Hillary for your (always) wise words. Heartfelt always works!
The most bittersweet thing to happen on the internet today.
Goosebumps! I feel like somebody famous just came into a party I was having with all my friends and I’m speechless and giddy and a little sad now too
Yes I had no idea my party was this cool!!! I mean, I knew I liked it here, and so did all you lovely people, but goodness gracious!
I’m crying too. It means so much to me that HRC (you, Secretary Clinton, should you happen to read these comments), our presumptive next President, understands the value of a space like the Toast, and would address such a heartfelt and galvanizing message to us, the readers and commenters. I truly feel honored, despite the only very teeny-tiny role that have played in this site as a frequent reader and sometime anonymous commentator.
I’m with her!
I’m with us!
She’s with us!
This really is the most amazing thing! I can’t even form coherent thought here.
My eleven year old baby feminist self who refused to curtsey to the judges in competitions because it was (*sexist*) and my current blue-haired matriarchy-building self are floored and round-eyed in awe right now. Madame Secretary, you have been an inspiration. Thank you.
FEELINGS
Today’s my first day taking to the sea… I left a job that didn’t make me happy, and can say, proudly and fiercerociously, “I don’t know” when people ask what I’m doing next. The Toast and Toasties have a lot to do with that, and now… whoa. We are going to do SUCH awesome things in this world!
Godspeed! What a perfect day to Take to the Sea(TM). This comment–like this post and this thread and this entire website–fills me with jubilant optimism.
I LOVE YOU HILLARY.
I’m not crying. You’re crying. You BAMFs. I’m going to miss all of this so much.
I told myself I was NOT going to cry about the end of the Toast, but here we are.
Proud crying #imwithher
Way to go out with a bang, Toast. This is awesome.
Does anybody with an Etsy store and print experience want to make a poster of a few of these lines? 100% need that framed above my desk forever.
Same.
Jesus Fucking Christ (our Lord)
I’m a Canadian/US dual citizen – I grew up in the US but have lived in Canada for a long time – and a bunch of Toasties on Twitter convinced me to register for my absentee ballot just last week. This is straight-up serendipity.
Also, please someone tell me this means she’s read the Hillary/Obama friendfiction.
I’m now imagining Hillary shuddering with specific recognition at any of the Women being talked at in Art posts, and thinking of specific dunces for each of the Mallory captions.
And also I am imagining her saying “FINALLY, someone sees my vision!” when she comes across the Mallory Leopard Priestess posts.
Her outfit for the inauguration will be leopard skins and a stoic face.
The new decor for the White House will be sumptuous silks, furs, and cold hearts and all the male staffers will be constantly fighting back tears of admiration, love, and fear.
She is the lady drinking tea alone in our favorite painting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY IS THE ONLY THING I CAN SAY – HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!????????????
stahhhhp you’re killing me. i felt in my bones there would be some sort of ~Special Surprise~ today but waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh I was wholly unprepared for this????!!!!
!!!!
<3 u toastie!!
Sorry I have lost the ability to say intelligent things.
Thank you Hillary, and Thank you so much The Toast
OH MY GOD.
I was legit teary on my way to work today, thinking about the end of The Toast. And now this.
SO much love, Toasties.
I am very relieved that my desk is in the back of the office facing the corner, and that I brought a fresh box of kleenex with me today.
Also, I texted my 19 yr old son to tell him this, and before I could type anything beyond “my feminist misandrist humor literature site is closing”, he texted back immediately, “No! What? Why?!” This gives me hope, too.
In the past 12 hours I’ve been contacted by the NSF as a “co principal investigator”, and had the next President of the United States contribute to my favourite internet home. Things are looking up.
Aw man :’) your son is gonna turn out alright with you for a mom, isn’t he?
I feel faint. She has my vote. (She had anyway before, but now she, like, REEAALLLY has it.)
Thank you Madam Secretary, never have I been so excited to vote as I am this year.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and now I’m crying.
Let me also say that while I am and have been a supporter of HRC’s campaign, I was for awhile having trouble getting excited for the first woman President. And having given it some thought, I think it may have to do with the fact that women are socialized to not want things for ourselves,and/or do things for other people, and I kind of felt like, well, I’m so used to not having this (a fellow cool lady in the White House), maybe some part of me is hesitant to want it, or has been socialized to be like “it’s okay, I don’t need it,” or something. Which is warped. I have since gotten over it.
And furthermore, as HRC has been ramping up and getting out there and being unapologetically liberal, and calling Donald on his crap, I have been increasingly excited. And this has increased my excitement tenfold!
Madam Secretary, you get out there and mop the floor with that racist orange slimeball! I am so excited for you to be President!
YES. This is what’s so sticky and weird about it. Seeing your own internalized sexism for what it is is very strange… “oh, this is really in me, isn’t it?”
omg there are now 5 pages of comments so this will be so buried but when I was making calls for Hillary in CA I opened my little “personal pitch” by talking about how much HRC meant to me as a young female scientist and seeing that up there and hearing from Hillary on the toast is AMAZING.
I was stopped at a redlight at 10am, driving to work, and since I had my phone’s browser already attuned to The-Toast dot net I whipped it out and did a page refresh and these are my reactions (and the way they followed through at subsequent redlights):
OH MY GOD
Wait, wait, really?
NO. OH MY GOD.
(actual tears)
“well someone has just tied up the New England Archivist/Librarian vote”
but seriously, holy shit oh crap i need to go to work now 🙁
(also! the actual tears were because I was so moved by the content of the post, but all I could express was “oh my god”)
HOLY OMG WOW
What a magnificent, amazing sign off!
It kills me everyday that Toast is closing, but this, oh God, this
*muffled choking sobs*
A sincere thank you to Toast. A sincere thank you to Hillary Clinton. Thank you for giving us a space for our voices.
Now I am going back to choke-sob a bit more.
At the risk of repeating what other people have said. Woah.
You are awesome, and I can’t wait to vote for you for President.
I don’t know how I can handle today. I’m already crying and this is the first thing I’ve read this morning.
Holy shit y’all. SHE SAID YOUR NAMES AND EVERYTHING. This is making me emotional.
It’s not that I’m hyperventillating, it’s just that my lungs have forgotten how to work. Yeah.
Ok the only reaction to this is something along the lines of OH MY GOD but I ALSO love how the description of Hillary Clinton reads: “She thinks your hair looks great exactly as it is.”
I know, right?
That encapsulates so much of what I feel about how women are encouraged into insecurity about our looks, in a way that sucks bandwidth away from other things we care about.
<3
Sent from my Blackberry
just kidding
Oh my god.
I knew I was going to end up tearing up at my desk at some point today. I didn’t realize it would be as soon as I turned on my computer.
OMG. My heart just ‘sploded
It is incredibly touching to me that Hillary Clinton and her staff (not that she didn’t write every word, but I feel like everything she does has to be part of a negotiation and logistical ballet with staff) took the time to write this.
I’m helping cry, and also yesterday my friend made me a meme that said “In my America, eagle boyfriends are normal,” so we are basically clairvoyant.
Oh my god. Just like everyone else. I’m crying. Ok, I was like on the fence Team Hilary (because, how could you not be at this point?), but now I am On Her Team!!!
If this doesn’t win you 100% of the Queer Librarian, Witches and Misandry Mermaids votes, I’ll eat my Take to the Sea tote.
Hear, hear!
This is real life? What?
And a million blessing for the poor comment moderator.
Good point! Thank you brave moderators!!!!!
I AM RUINED FOR THE WHOLE DAY NOW
I’ve been on the fence for this entire election cycle for and this is actually what just made me commit. I will absolutely vote for the woman who took the time and cared enough to say this in my specific niche. This is amazing.
Yes, that was my thought as soon as I was able to process the impact of this statement of hers and get beyond the emotional tears of “here is this famous, powerful woman writing in my pseudo-home about things that are so precious to me”. (Also it reminded me how HUGE the readership of The-Toast is, beyond the commenting community.)
It’s not like I wasn’t going to vote for her already, but now it’s emotional/personal rather than logical.
Thank you, Secretary Clinton, for writing this.
I told myself I wasn’t gonna full-on start crying and quoting Lin-Manuel Miranda, but, well, here we are.
Maybe you’re right, Sonny, call in the coroners
Maybe we’re powerless, a corner full of foreigners
Maybe this neighborhood’s changing forever
Maybe tonight is our last night together
However
How do you wanna face it? Do you wanna waste it,
When the end is so close you could taste it?
Y’all could cry with ya head in the sand
I’ma fly this flag that I got in my hand
As mum to an *almost* 2 year old girl who has lots of opinions, ideas, and a very loud voice with which to convey them, I am BEYOND grateful and excited that this is the world we are living in. Where it’s becoming a priority to help girls and women raise their voices and demand a seat at the table. Where the leader of the free fucking world knows what it’s like to give birth, be a working mom, knows how to power her way through a solid wall of men and do what it takes to get HEARD.
I’ve never been so excited about what mark my daughter will make on her world. The possibilities are expanding before my eyes.
YES.
This…seriously made my day.
It’s completely normal that this made me cry in my cubicle right?
Just when I thought I could not be any happier with the Democratic nominee, this.
SOBBING RIGHT NOW.
My office mate thinks I’m a loon and I DON’T EVEN CARE.
I’ve already commented on the link roundup, but you all mean so, so much to me.
Madame Secretary, thank you so much. For being you, for all you have done and continue to do, for your leadership, and for writing this piece for all of us here, today. I have never read truer words. We’re with you.
This is called (I believe) GOING OUT WITH A BANG.
Well, fuck.
I guess #ImwithHER.
WELCOME TO THE PARTY (coven)! We’ve been waiting in the wings for youuuuu.
“I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States, and I will be too witches for anyone trying to tear me down.”
The only way to express how I feel about you all and this post is to attempt to thumbs-up every single comment on this thread. I love you all, I think I’m going to need to lie down for a bit.
Fingers getting sore from scrolling. Still worth it. Y’all are hot buttered
AWESOME,
TWO MONKS INVENT THE PRESIDENTIAL OFFICE.
MONK 1: “What shape is an office?”
MONK 2: “Oval, like an egg.”
MONK 1: What do eagles do?
MONK 2: Carry things, mostly
MONK 2: like ammunition
MONK 2: but also foliage
MONK 1: but they’re modest, right?
MONK 2: obviously. they usually perch behind shields to cover their privates
MONK 1: and they talk?
MONK 2: by waving word ribbons in their beaks
MONK 1: So, I know women are the people who have the babies, but what do they do when they’re not doing that?
MONK 2: Run countries, mostly.
Oh, lord, I’d give this a million thumbs up if I could!
Oh Hillary. Oh Toasts. It means so much that you are One of Us.
I always lurk and never comment but have to say that I’m getting weepy on the bus right now – Hillary, I love you even more than I did before. Thank you to both the Toast and Hillary for reminding me that my contributions and opinions have value – sometimes it’s hard to remember that. I’ll miss the Toast so much but what a way to go out.
This is just such an amazing surprise. Thank you to Nicole and Hillary’s team for making it happen, and thanks to HRMFC for caring enough to do this!! You have my vote and my support!!!
My eyes are so, so wide right now. This is incredible. This is a bigger send-off than I ever imagined. Hillary, thank you for recognizing how important The Toast, and all the spaces like it that have existed or are yet to be created, truly is.
O CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN
Yes. This is the exact description of my response. Thank you for putting it into, if not exactly words, a coherent thought.
MIC. DROP.
I cannot wait to vote for you in November.
(My brain is spazzing. At the moment it seems a reasonable idea that Nicole and Mallory decided to close the Toast this way in order to get Hillary elected. WHY NOT. I approve.)
This is apparently what tips me over the edge into open sobbing.
Thank you, Secretary Clinton. You are too witches.
Holy fucking shit. This is amazing.
This is absolutely the most incredible way to sign off. I don’t have the words..
I’ve never been brave enough to comment here; I’ve read and loved and cried with so many pieces here, I’ve admired so many of you commenting and have quietly applauded what you shared. Thank you for everything, Mallory and Nicole, for giving voice and space to so much INCREDIBLE talent, for the great space that you have facilitated.. just for it all.
I just got teary in public at work, after having to pick my jaw up off the floor. What a way to send off The Toast!
I was always going to vote for Hillary, but this has made me 100x more excited to do it. When I first found the Toast I thought “aha, these are My People,” and I am so pleased to know that HRC is One Of Us.
And we thought yesterday’s Hey Ladies was good…
Oh my GOD WHAT?????!!!!!!!
SHE IS TOO WITCHES FOR IT ALL
WHOA THIS IS TOO WITCHES
TOAST THIS IS A GREAT NOTE TO END WITH
pretty sure she didn’t mention Marco cus she knows i’m #bernieorbust
As a single mom of the 80’s, I was subjected to more than I can say. I did give them HELL and I clawed my way to the top! So long, Toast! HillYes!!
Hillary is silent Charlotte in the Hey Ladies! chain
This is now headcanon.
Like, this is even better than a “Gaudy Night” roundtable!
Just reread this piece again and god. Sobbing internally so hard right now.
ONE OF US! ONE OF US!
Usually a lurker, but I have to comment because this is just too witches for me. I’ve lost a lot of confidence at my current job because I’ve been told I’m too bossy, that I have to learn to keep my mouth shut, mostly because I’ve brought up safety concerns, and I am tired of it. Thank you for being an inspiration, Hillary! Your voice is valued, and I will draw on your words moving forward. And thank you to the Toast and all the Toasties for all the wonderful reading materials, even if I didn’t comment at the time. This website was very special to me, and I’m sure to a lot of other shy readers who still felt a sense of community here.
Oh, please do not get shut down by those people at work who want you to be quiet about safety concerns. That’s how we end up with a Metro that regularly catches fire. You are doing good work to raise it!!
**Voiceless scream**.
Wait. This means there is a nonzero chance Hillary Clinton actually saw me claim-as a compliment–she shows up to parties with a handle of Evan Williams
It probably took a lot of restraint on her part to not comment back, “Gurl, you know it’s true.”
as a reader from the UK, in the aftermath of Brexit and all the associated uncertainty and fear, which has pretty much broken my heart and trampled all over my faith in the people who represent our democratic system, the fact the Hilary Clinton took the time to do this, and also laughs over the same toast-ness that I do has restored my faith in politics, and indeed the world.
I’m going to miss you The Toast.
I am STILL a Bernie stan, but even I can appreciate how amazeballs this is.
Just…..wow. The Toast. Look at how you’ve influenced the world.
WHAT. Lasagna for one time. I can’t believe this.
I’ve always loved this song by the Indigo Girls and feel like these lines are appropriate today:
But they left out the sisters
Praying to a father god so long I really missed her
The goddess of benevolence
You should listen to your mama if you have a lick of sense left
Pushed under by the main press, buried under a code of dress
Relegated by the Vatican
But you can’t keep a spirit down that wants to get up again
If we’re a drop in the bucket
With just enough science to keep from saying fuck it
Until the last drop of sun burns its sweet light
Plenty revolutions left until we get this thing right
– Pendulum Swinger
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xI9hrjJ19RI
This is it, this is the song I needed today. Thank you.
I lean more toward this one, but how good to know there’s more than one Indigo Girls song for every occasion?
Did they tell you it was set in stone
That you’d end up alone
Use your years to psyche you out
You’re too old to care, you’re too young to count
Did they tell you, you would come undone
When you try to touch the sun
Undermine the underground
You’re too old to care, you’re too young to count
I said go go go
I said it’s time
Don’t assume anything
Just go go go!
Indigo Girls – Go
This is amazing.
oh. my god. I read through the comments in the link roundup and got a little teary
but this.
I had to stop reading, compose myself, and come back.
I can’t words very well right now
Godt.dam.
Who knew that the last person to leave The Toast and turn out the lights would be Secretary (and future POTUS) Clinton?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Wow. Chills. Words not in sentences.
Yes.
November.
Landslide.
So I am moving to another city and turning down dream career opportunities for family and am kind of freaking out, and The Toast is ending, AND THEN THIS HAPPENED. My day? 10000% better.
I am so ecstatic to have canvassed for our first woman president (and to do so again)!
I’m crying right now — not because the toast is closing (I’ve already shed many tears over that, and I’ll probably cry some more later), but because the prospect of having a president, a female president, who shares our silly/smart sense of humor & toastie sensibilities is too witches for words. This is our space, and maybe someday all of America can be, somehow
(If not there’s always the sea)
Thank you. This means so much. and I definitely did NOT cry at all.
Oh my god. And *your* hair looks great, too, Madam soon-to-be-President.
Damn. The reactions in this comments section are making me cry too.
Count me in as the the 664th YASSSSS QUEEEEEEEN……!!!
Godspeed! What a perfect day to Take to the Sea(TM). This comment–like this post and this thread and this entire website–fills me with jubilant optimism.
I created an account on the last day, just to say I thought while I loved the Toast, since I wasn’t a part of the commenting community I was sure I wouldn’t cry, and then I read this and wept. Thank you for this amazing website.
This is amazing. Amazing, amazing, amazing. This makes me very happy.
…umm, what? WHAT? Damn.
“Speak your opinion more fervently”
Whelp, Bernie just entered the closet, officially.
Thanks for the wonderful place Toast and witches. You are right up there now with Its a Wonderful Life in my holiday traditions
I am so beyond gobsmacked, and also so thrilled! I share a taste in websites, interests, and snark with our future president. Amazing. Two Monks 4EVA!
Wonderful!
thankfully, i managed to send a campaign contribution before i dropped dead on the floor.
Khaleesi is coming to Westeros!!!
Oh my god.
I’m one of the writers you mentioned.
I’m one of the readers.
I’m with you.
We’re with you.
Man, I want to post this to FB, but I know there are people there who would be shit about this (mostly Bernie Bros, regardless of gender), and I don’t want to share this perfect piece of my world with them.
SAME, though in my case it’s less Bernie Bros and more right-wing conservative folks.
Maybe I can just filter it heavily?
Ok, I created a “politics” filter, and specifically mentioned in my post that if people are on it, it’s because I trust them not to be assholes in the comments.
I shared it and I’m just waiting for the assholes so I can DELETE THEIR COMMENTS BECAUSE FUCK THEM. (big hair no heart)
I mean, I would love to delete comments in a righteous fury, but my heart is too sad today to countenance that kind of disappointment.
I shared on FB, and it did get a shitty comment. But then I deleted that comment and added a comment of my own:
“A note: I am very much not interested in rude comments on this post. And in the spirit of the The Toast’s excellent comment moderation policy, I will delete such comments if they appear.”
I shared on FB and got an angryface from my militant leftist sister but nothing worse than that. I voted for Bernie but COME ON this is amazing.
I’ve totally been inspired by The Toast to just delete rude comments to my facebook posts. Sometimes I warn people (“I’m not here to argue about this, any comments starting something will just be deleted”) and sometimes I don’t. It’s amazing how much this bothers some people!
just: YES.
Hey Mods!
Since it’s a Clinton post, I imagine you’re getting a high volume on this one. You don’t have to publish this comment if you don’t want. I just wanted to thank you guys for the comment moderation that happens on this site. As you’ve been told a million times, you’ve created a safe, wonderful, open, kind space on the internet which still maintains some anonymity. That’s super hard. I was a professional comment moderator for Huff Po around the time of the first Obama election and inauguration. A bunch of my fellow government grad students were in to it – it was 10 or 12 bucks an hour and you could do it from anywhere. Hopefully you don’t get anything like the hateful screeds that would come across my screen back then, but it can be a drag some times, regardless.
So thanks very much for performing a very crucial and often overlooked job extremely well.
Well. I guess maybe now I won’t vote Drescher/Jepsen over you, Madam Secretary.
Thank you for writing here today to acknowledge this private grief. It means so much that you took the time to do it.
The only thing better than avocado toast? Hillary/Toast.
Thank you. So, so much.
OmGoddess what a fitting send off. <3
I was seriously almost dreading coming onto The Toast today, because I was like, how do you sum up everything this blog has been and done without it falling flat, but I guess this is exactly how you go out with a bang!
This comment section has refueled my faith in the internet. <3
oh. my god. I read through the comments in the link roundup and got a little teary
then I found this and started reading and had to stop because it was too much of everything all at once because crying and my contacts were going to fall out of my face which is not good ok
then I started reading again and it’s still so much oh my god too everything
Then somehow it became later and I hadn’t posted my comment yet.
this is what happens in my brain when it gets too witches and too all of the things
Well this is just the best thing ever. *pinches self*
I keep intermittently getting 504s. I BLAME YOU CLINTON
This is like the perfect inspiring commencement speech I never got (because the actual one from college was dull and about sports and I couldn’t relate). It’s so bitter sweet. I am a husk, but I may actually cry.
Thank you. It was beautiful. Right to my heart.
In 1992, when Bill Clinton was running for President, I was at San Jose State University, as an English Major- and was on stage w him, shook his hand- he was very funny- but I wrote an article in our paper, called- “Desperately Seeking Hillary” I was always more enamored by Hillary and her brilliance. What an honor to see this future President speaking to- writing for- women.
We were at SJSU the same time. Graduated 1995.
I don’t really have anything to say besides “Thank you, The Toast,” but I want to be a part of this moment in history.
It was really hard to explain why I was crying just now. “There’s…a website? And Hillary likes it? And it’s closing?”
A thing of beauty and a joy forever. Thank you, Madam Secretary.
I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING
What a way to go…
delurking
after 3 years of quietly lovingly creeping
just for this
just to say
OH MY ACTUAL GOD
HLEP
HELP
hyperventilating help oh my god
I think I need to print this out and frame it for my desk so I can look at it all the time and be amazed all over again
My first visit to Toast t and this is what I found. I can’t freaking breathe.
This…this is so much. I am going to give this letter to my daughter because as much as it is for me, a Toastie, it is infinitely more so for her, a fierce little STEM need with great hopes and no knowledge of life’s obstacles. Maybe by the time she’s finding her first job out of college, there won’t be obstacles. This gives me hope that we can clear the way, all of us together, for the future. Let’s go do it. Let’s keep giving them hell!
Wow! Just wow!
Reading this letter made me so happy, and now reading these comments are making me so happy, and now I’m crying, what is happening, but i’m still happy, happy, happy.
Thank you to everyone who made this place such a nice one. xo
MADAME TOAST FOR PRESIDENT
That’s it. The internet can be done for the day because it won’t produce anything better than this.
OMG. Hi, Hillary! Thank you!
Thank you to The Toast and Madame President https://youtu.be/oGmRKWJdwBc
I’m all emotional.
Once i had a dream where I was involved in planning a very nice lunch function for Secretary Clinton. She was very nice and encouraging, and I’ve felt a kinship with her ever since.
My subconscious is a prescient genius. I’m so grateful that you’re one of us, Madame Future President.
*blink*
*blink*
HI FUTURE PRESIDENT HILLARY. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU WOULD BE HERE.
I’m gonna make a quick pitch here: Malory would be great in some sort of arts-and-culture type Cabinet position. Just saying.
Okay, now I’m crying. I didn’t think i would. I didn’t think I’d mourn a website. But here I am, trying to type as everything blurs up because of the tears in my eyes. Thank you, Hillary – you’re incredible, and it’s just so damn cool that you like something that I like. Thank you, The Toast – Nicole, Mallory, Nicole, et al. I’ve never seen anything on this site that I didn’t at least like, and most of it I’ve loved. Thank you, Toasties – what a wonderful community. We’ve never met, but I love you all. Have to stop now, too much crying!
The last-ever post broke my heart, and then I came back to reread this and make it better.
Dear Hillary,
I love you. Please be my mom. And by “my mom” I mean “the lady who runs the country and acts as the figurehead in a position that has historically been seen as a parental figure to the American people.”
<3
We’re all in this together. =)
WHATTTTTT?!?! I am reading this outloud in disbelief to the beau. This is too much!
Thank you to The Toast and Madame President https://youtu.be/oGmRKWJdwBc
This is perhaps the best thing that has ever happened on the internet, or off it, or anywhere. I’ve been openly weeping ALL DAY. My heart exploded. We did it.
Hillary. I love you. Thank you.
First of Her Name has set sail for Westeros. Thank you for sending word. Please don’t be long, we really need you.
This isn’t an ending, is it? It’s a beginning. :CRIES FOREVER:
Now I *really* have to reread everything on the Toast, because I need to do it imagining how Hillary may have reacted to it, if she read it.
THANK YOU. holy crap.
Fantastic! Best wishes, ladies.
This is what The Toast deserves. A send-off from a woman who is truly too witches for this world. (That said, you have every vote in my household, Madam Secretary)
I’ve watched dudes try to shit all over Hillary for 25 years and she’s gracefully kicked them in the teeth and kept on going, which is all I’ve wanted and received from the Toast and their deleted comments.
Her past is littered with the bones of men who thought she was somebody they could sleep on.
KHALEESI IS COMING TO WESTEROS PEOPLE
Legit cried at work. Goddamn.
Thank you so much for writing this. I’ve been feeling alternately disaffected or enraged at national politics (and international politics, namely Brexit), but the second I saw this byline I started to cry because I’ve finally felt acknowledged and recognized by a leader in our country – and soon-to-be the first female US president at that.
That was awesome, thank you so much.
Holy. Shit. I love you The Toast. Xxxxxxxxx
Gobsmacked. I am gobsmacked. I am also a person who doesn’t post often. Thank you Nicole, Mallory and Nikki for making such a wonderful space. I’m going to take the future president’s advice and make some spaces for others.
I thought this was a joke at first!!!!! This is such a gift
wow. I’m going to so miss The Toast, especially the Friday Bargain Bin. The Wine Charms aka “Hair Ruiners” was my all time fave. 😢
THIS IS NOT A DRILL. HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!
She has always had my back, for the last 40 years. You have no idea what it means to have a woman in her position, looking out for all of us. Thank you for sharing Leah!
Beautiful!
“Speak your opinion more fervently in your classes if you’re a student, or at meetings in your workplace. Proudly take credit for your ideas. Have confidence in the value of your contributions. And if the space you’re in doesn’t have room for your voice, don’t be afraid to carve out a space of your own.”
im cRYING
My heart is straight up going to burst if I don’t drown in my tears first.
Perfection.
I published something on The Toast the same week as the future President, nbd (no, I’m crying openly).
Is Mallory going to be our next Vice President?
I wish I could vote for you because you are so much better than the only option for female leadership in the UK right now. This is amazing, the Toast is amazing.
Awesome
<sniff>
I’ve been pretty okay during the wind down, but this broke me. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this perfect closing to the shining light on the internet these past few years.
Yesterday a new blue pigment was announced and today this. I am so fucking glad to be alive! Thank you, Toast!
Hillary (FREAKING) Clinton just said:
“You never know — you might just be the next Nicole Cliffe, Mallory Ortberg or Nikki Chung.”
Not, “You could be the next female POTUS.” Like, holy shit. The first female POTUS (I’m not entertaining any other options) is saying you guys are at least as awesome of an aspiration as being PRESIDENT is. How cool is that?
Although I have only come out of hiding a couple times to comment (y’all are intimidatingly smart!), this site has meant a whole lot to me over the last couple years. My voice has strengthened and I have slowly begun to make space for myself when others won’t allow it. Thank you, The Toast. There will always be a little toast-shaped hole in my heart <3
I cannot wait until 20 January 2017. Come snow or high water, I’m going to be in DC with my granddaughters to watch Hillary Clinton sworn in as the 45th president of the United States.
I have never commented before, but I have been reading The Toast for years. Thank you, Toast. Thank you, Hillary. The world is not all garbage! I am crying now. I am going to cry forever.
All the feels. All of them. I needed that. Hillary Clinton telling Toasties to go get ’em is one of the best things I’ve read all year.
The Toast: where friendship on the agenda.
This is the most heartening, affirming, strengthening thing. All of the thanks.
Oh my god. This made my day!!! And I thought that I couldn’t be with her more than I already was. Hillary Clinton equals my favorite person ever.
I think this is really kind of special. As a grandmother and a VETERAN. It is time fir all women to stick together. I like so many others have been fighting my entire life for the right to be recognized. Im going to keep the fight for my children grandchildren and so much more. God. Bless and. Amen
Thank you for all of your hard work.
Puppet
I know our beloved mods need to get some sleep, so:
Hillary Clinton is a Toastie. What a time to be alive. Good luck, Madame President.
…and then my head exploded.
This made my heart sing.
I. Just. WOW.
This is so so wonderful. Thank you, The Toast, for everything. And thank you Hillary for a very fitting ending!
Thank you for this, Ms. Clinton. I could not be more excited to vote for you.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 Hillz 4 Prez! I always loved the Toast, so thanks for making it available.
Cheers,
Scott
This was so awesome I had to take a long break before I felt ready to come back to it.
*checks* Nope, still not over it. (Seriously, 10+ hours and my face is still hurting from all the 😀 …)
Best. Send-off. Ever. The best any site could ask for, even…
Actual tears. LOVE.
As an engineer, one way to get work on a contract was to “crash” meetings, sit on the floor and pick up crumbs from the conference table. I made sure I kept my mouth shut unless begging for specific tasks.
That’s the best bio ever!
I’m a long-time toast reader, never-time toast commenter.
I’m so glad to see this.
And I’m so sad to see my daily standby going away. But again, I’m so HAPPY to see the editorial staff (Nicole, Nikki, Mallory, etc.) moving on when they need to and forging new spaces for themselves.
Hillary said everything I wish I could have said, but I’m so glad to see such a high profile endorsement of something that has become part of my everyday life, and values like empowering female voices living on and being reinforced by powerful women I respect.
I’ve been quiet for years, but I appreciate you all and am so grateful to the Toast staff/editors/founders/geniuses for what you’ve give me in my life these past several years.
Thank you for the daily empowerment and reinforcement for so many years. I’m sorry I’ve been silent. But you’ve been vital to my life, and while sad to not have this daily fix, I’m so excited for everyone involved in the Toast in what they do next.
One request: will you update the-toast.net on your regular contributors’ and editors’ new gigs? I trust these voices and would like to keep up with their next work.
I put this on my 9 year old daughter’s wall:
“Proudly take credit for your ideas. Have confidence in the value of your contributions.” – Hillary Clinton, July 1, 2016
If you’re interested in following Hillary’s lead and having an impact in public office, check out http://www.emergeamerica.org, the most successful training program for women running for office.
Thanks. My hair does look great.
I’m just now coming to the full realization that this was A Thing That Actually Happened.
I LOVE YOU HILLARY. YOU ARE MY FAVORITE FOREVER. SO PROUD OF YOU.
GET THAT PRESIDENCY AND CONTINUE TO BE YOUR AWESOME SELF.
oh my god you are too awesome. i can’t believe i’m responding to the next President in a message thread on the Toast.
it’s too much today. tomorrow i will change the world. right now, i am thankful.
This day is just a few minutes from ending (in Eastern Daylight Time) and I have done little besides read all of the comments. I love you all.
I flipped a coin in the voting booth for the MA primary, but now #Imwithher.
Back in the summer of 2007, I was working for Planned Parenthood and sent to a July conference in DC. It was an amazing few days, and Senator Clinton, Senator Obama, and Elizabeth Edwards (god rest her beautiful soul) came to speak to us at separate times. I still have my “I’m allowed to be here” lanyards from that day. I remember being moved and torn over whether to vote for Obama or Clinton. I am so grateful that I will have the opportunity to have voted for both where it really counted.
okay, if Hillary delurked today, obviously so can i. #toowitches
Throughout the primary season I kept saying “I wish I liked either of them better than I do, but I think Hillary is the stronger candidate” and caucused for her. I like her SO MUCH more than I did 8 years ago and I will be very proud to say I voted for the first woman President. Thanks Hillary. Thanks Toast. Thanks Toasties.
eloquent!
My hair -does- look good. Thanks Clinton. Respect.
Thank you, Hillary, for this post.
This is a great article Madame Secretary, it really is important for women to show what they are capable of. Usually we can accomplish a lot, but some times we are afraid to do so, so that we don’t upset the male hierarchy, or hurt people’s feelings. But we need to step up and come out of the darkness….women achieve marvellous things every day in every corner of the world and they go unnoticed…women should get the credit they deserve for being mothers, professionals, wives, counsellors, confidents, caregivers….we are all too important to stay in the shadows….and it is so much more important when a woman as strong and resilient as Secretary Clinton takes it upon her to promote women’s rights..she has fought for it all her life, and it is going to be so much more important when she will be able to fight for women once more as POTUS…I can’t wait for it to happen, I can’t wait for the moment when we can all say Madame President. Thank you Madame Secretary for fighting all your life so that women can take the place they deserve in the society! Keep fighting, keep inspiring!!
Hours later I am still in complete shock about this post. What a way for The Toast to bow out! Sometimes the world is an amazing place.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
<3 to you alllllllllll
I’m still reeling from this. This just…changes my whole world view. This is just the weirdest. I feel like this is even weirder and more specific than the time Harrison Ford walked into my Anty Pat’s cafe in Driggs, ID (possibly had about 500 people living there in the 90s, when the incident occurred). I mean, you *expect* celebrities to need coffee and snacks just like anyone else, and she already knew he had a large ranch in the Grand Tetons, which for those that don’t know, you could spit from one of their peaks and it’d land on my aunt’s cafe, so). Like that was semi-expected, and yet!!
But this!!!
Never have I met a more specialized interest site, none with more niche cult appeal (well alright, the museum of endangered sounds*) AND YET here, apparently one ‘o th’ lurkers, A CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES and long-time national politician!!!
I mean.
There’s NOTHING comparable.
just.
Clearly anything is possible – anything at all.
This is like those twists at the end of The Twilight Zone. I fully expect to hear “duh DUH duhduhduh duh duhn!” and for Rod Serling to step out from behind my desk and go “and now, a word from our sponsors”
/cut to cigarette add
i’m just still REELING from this twist! It shifts paradigms! It’s a game-changer!
i just can’t
too witches
wut
* http://www.electronicbeats.net/feed/museum-endage…
Please can there be an open thread the day after she is elected so we can all talk about how America is too witches for Trump?
Beautiful! Thank you!
The perfect benediction.
Go in peace . . . no, that’s not it.
Go, now. Take the fire with you. Make your part of the world better.
I feel so lucky to have been a part of this
AAAAAAHHHHHH #hillyeah
epic
it's…two days later now? And every 30 minutes I'm still like "Hillary Clinton wrote for the Toast!"
A friend from church told me she didn't even read anything on the last day, because it would be too sad, so she didn't know that Hillary Clinton had written something. We had a Toast Wake right there, at coffee hour, and she now plans to read this post.
HOLY. COW. I leave the country for the weekend without Internet, and THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS?!?! I don’t even care that I’m a straggler right now, HRC on The Toast is out of control. God, this site is magic.
Wow!! Just wow!!
Just realized that she may possibly have read my comment!fic about her kicking Donald Trump off of Air Force One (in flight), and growling "get off my plane" dramatically after him. She may have paused for a small, satisfied smile.
Colour me impressed. I wish I could believe that any leadership contender in the UK could write so well and so movingly, but I very much doubt it.
GIVE. THEM. HELL.
This is amazing.
SO I need some help here….
The Toast is over? WHAT? What happened??! I’ve only just told my sister about this place!
http://the-toast.net/2016/05/13/we-are-closing-th…
Second comment
That is downright amazing.
And yes, congratulations to Mallory and the gang. This really has been an amazing site. Especially as Mallory appears to only be about 19.
I might go all 90s and pin this up on my bedroom wall- LIFE ADVICE FROM HILLARY. DYING.
Also please come to the UK and sort out the shitstorm that is British politics &/or create a power duo with Ms May.
YES second this