New Year’s Eve Cityscape Fireworks Dress, $138 There’s a party happening next week (or so we hear, we haven’t been invited yet, fingers crossed!) and it would be great if you could all wear something entertaining this time. Something one of a kind. Something that screams. Screams! Plus, New Year’s Eve is the fastest hot-to-not night of the year, so maybe you want to create a distraction? Here are a bunch of vintage finds that’ll fit the bill. (And no, Etsy did not sponsor this post, they just happen to have a bunch of weird old stuff sold by independent retailers and that’s what we’re talking about.) Behold:
Wool Leopard Swing Coat, $124 Jeans and a T-Shirt never looked so fierce.
Gold Polka Dot Dress with Matching Bow Tie, $80. “WITH MATCHING BOW TIE.”
Ricki Lang Beaded Cocktail Dress, $68 Gonna regret showing you this one. No, wait, gonna regret showing you THIS one:
Barbara Barbara Animal Print Dress, $75 Check out the built-in belt.
Lace Floral Party Dress, $72. This is the front. The front.
Skirt and Sweater Set, $57 Genuinely cute outfit, genuinely bananas presentation.
Grayzna Dolman Sleeve Dress, $69 The back, though:
Strapless Red Dress, $51.79 If you can pull this off, you owe it to yourself and me.
Pink Silk Neiman Marcus Muumuu, $38 Endora would approve.
Draped Maxi Dress, $52 Just add a wild updo and tons of bracelets. Devastating. Simply devastating.
Black Wiggle Dress with Sheer Bust, $75 Pretty sure this is reversible? 😉
And the winner is this Victor Costa Puff Sleeve Dress, $265. Okay, folks, uh… I have to apologize. The first runner up is this Victor Costa Puff Sleeve Dress.
Jean-Charles de Castelbajac Thingamabobber, $1,200. Wow. Just wow. Happy holidays!
What. Is. This. MESS.
I need Barbara Walters to sit down and interview whoever bought the last abomination on this list.
Hello, it’s a sweater dress. Seasonal AND practical.
And it’s a dress with pockets!
Maybe. On second thought those look sewn shut.
It’s a dress that the Ghost of Christmas Present wears to reveal your children, Ignorance and Want, except now they get to wear cute little sweaters and stand on the outside instead of having to hide under his robe.
Worth clicking through on the red maxi dress, the cape-yness of it is understated in the above photo. What a dress!
it’s for cosplaying as a Timelady.
right? It’s the dress of my space diplomat dreams. Pair it with JCrew’s space jewelry for maximum effect!
(PS I can’t be the only one that thinks JCrew’s jewelry looks space age-y. Look at this this and tell me you don’t hear Oscar Isaac and Adam Driver singing about Outer Space.)
This one, in particular, looks flying saucer-esque:
https://www.jcrew.com/womens_category/jewelry/Jew…
I love the irony of it coming from this super preppy brand.
space diplomat
My first thought was that it was something one of the government functionaries in Dicebox would wear.
Also in the same shop this gives me an idea of what to do with all the small leftover balls of yarn in my stash.
That doesn’t seem like it should work at all, but honestly that coat is working for me.
I know, i works really well for me too.
All I thought of was Fashion It So. It is 100% some kind of Star Trek TNG ambassador dress.
I’m so happy that someone else loves that website. It’s the best.
I’m pretty sure one of their big-name guest stars wore almost exactly that dress.
Wool leopard swing coat: Absolutely Fabulous.
I normally shun all animal prints, but even I want that one.
I’ve never seen a crotch peplum before.
“crotch peplum” def sounds like something you should get looked at
Yessss, I love outrageous NYE outfits! Last year in New Orleans I acquired a sequined padded-shoulder blouse with a design of an open bottle of champagne, pouring bubbles that spell “2000!” in gold embroidery. Yes, I DO plan to wear it every NYE for the rest of my life, in case you were wondering.
Please please post photos. It sounds amazing.
You’re right about the Ricki Lang dress. DAMMIT JANE MARIE!!! I just put myself on a shopping ban for the next six months. I need a shopping sponsor to send this too because I would be scheming about that dress for ages. I’m pretty sure I’d be too short for it anyway.
Also I bought those Madewell loafers and I think you said to hold off on the pictures bc of a ~project~ but are you sure because I look rule gud in them.
When I first read this, ithough you were looking for some who’s shopping you could sponser. I was like, “Ooooh, pick me! Pick me!”
How are the Madewell loafers fitting? Someone another week said they fit a bit small and needed a bigger size–did you? I’m in agony over here because they have them in my size on the website but they’re final sale now, and final sale ANYTHING is so scary to me.
Thingamabobber: in case you’re a patriotic Jamaican going to a party who is also an overbearing mother of perpetually chilly twins.
The red shiny one kind of… frames your vagina, doesn’t it?
So yonic.
I love shapeless black dresses and cardigans, I think the last one is my soul in dress form.
I want the red shiny dress SO BADLY right now and it is ALMOST my size but there is no way in hell my boobs will fit in there WHY BOOBS WHY. At least it probably wouldn’t arrive before NYE anyway so I can be less sad.
oh
oh I neeeeeeeeeed this
neeeeeed
I have a very similar dress (no rhinestones, but that could be arranged…) and it is pretty fab. Heavy, though. That 70s polyester is not messing around.
That is a really nice dress! I always forget that the ’70s had some really great style moments.
Shades of Xanadu era Olivia Newton-John coming through on that purple beaded cocktail dress….
That gold polka dot dress though *is speechless*
The red peplum dress: like an O’Keefe, but less subtle?
This is all perfect, its like you knew my new year’s resolution is “dress more like Lwaxana Troi”
YES YES YESSSSSS
Thank you for reminding me that my New Year’s Resolution is “acquire a caftan”.
I trot this out every summer: http://nymag.com/thecut/2014/05/how-to-get-your-b…
I kind of really need that leopard-lined coat. You know, for when I become a Girl of the Week on The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
Guuuyyyyssssssss I’m so sad! The 70’s-inspired dress I want for NYE is sold out in my size and I want to crryyyyyyyy.
HA HA I BOUGHT THE RICKI LANG DRESS
Excellent choice!
That was my favorite in the whole post!!
I’m sorry for your loss.
I’m not a size 6, so I guess I can forgive you. If you ever find it’s equivalent in a size 12, though, hook me up!
Luckily for you, my new full-time job is Googling “Ricki Lang Dress.”
I love it, I feel like it will be in style like 100 years from now.
I am pretttttty sure the red one with the hip ruffles was 1990 Happy Holidays Barbie’s reception dress.
Why is the red maxi dress styled with a belt and a necklace when you click through? This is not a belt dress, this is not a necklace dress. this is a chandelier earring dress with a Catherine Deneuve/Bridget Bardot bouffant half-updo. (Or it might be a Nancy Reagan dress which is fine, Nancy had some fun fashion moments.)
A person with sewing skills could really do something with the pink muumuu. There’s a local woman here in Columbia SC who remakes “vintage” into cool modern stuff. She’s tiny, so it’s easy for her to cut down thrift shop church dresses. This muumuu could even be made into something a regular sized person could wear…
The Grayzna dress calls out for some serious Joan Crawford styling and a long cigarette holder…maybe one of those furs with the head on?
It has been purchased. By me. Jane Marie has some sort of mind control lock on me. 🙂
i would wear the shit out of the red maxi and the black wiggle.
I have a mighty need for that caped maxi dress. In every color.
That last one is a literal sweater dress.
I don’t usually like animal prints, but I WANT THAT COAT.
So many of these dresses make me think of Fashion It So. The red maxi dress and the red strapless dress, in particular, remind me of Famke Janssen in “The Empath”.
Someone gave my sister a set of cat hangers, which are funny in a coat closet, but strange in an etsy ad
WHO BOUGHT THE MUUMUU!?
Toasties! If you are depressed about the holidays I guarantee you will be cheered by browsing the other clothes in the etsy store that is selling the dress with little shirts that aren't even pockets.
My favorites are: the dinner jacket adorned with cutlery, the road leading to a crotch sunset, the dress with a gold-sequined v-neck cleverly used to spell out "VIP," and the arm-eating bird head sleeve.
You can wear the bird head on your hand, as well. Versatile!
I showed the last one to my mom and she said… “so it’s a sweater dress”
*is ded*
I showed the last one to my mom and she said… "so it's a sweater dress"
*is ded*
Favorite: Leopard print suit with a leopard face sniffing your butt forever.
I couldn’t stop thinking about that red draped dress, so when I looked back at it today and it’s still available, I folded like a cheap card table.
Aaak! I called the Auntie Mame "live sheep" quote after the first "devastating". You are officially this generation's Rosalind Russell. Question: if you were to dress up as Auntie Mame for a party, which outfit would you choose? And which switch?
This is all perfect, its like you knew my new year's resolution is "dress more like Lwaxana Troi"
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