Posts tagged “shopping”

  1. It's shrinkage. You know the second these cookies hit the oven they'll look more "normal."

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  2. Admit it, this holiday season sucked. As did the entirety of 2015, so far. Did anyone buy you perfect wedge boots? No. No they did not. And now, here you are, stepping in cat puke in your bare feet. What's wrong with the cat? You'll figure it out tomorrow. Today is for buying your own damn boots.

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  3. Tangled hangers drive me crazy. I usually don’t have the patience to untangle them, but the whole purpose of this exercise is to untangle, tidy, clean, organize. I flop on the bed next to the piles of clothes and work on the hangers for a few minutes until I can line them up, all of them facing the same way. I hang them back in my closet, at the far end, so that when I…

    7 comments
  4. Pilot G-Tec pen, $3.95, Officemax. CPU: $.19 per overwrought diary entry.

     

    Garlic press, $10.00, Ikea. CPU: $2.50 per clove. (Lost part of it after one use.)

     

    UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs T-shirt, $15.00, UC Santa Cruz Bookstore. CPU: $7.50 per wear. Funnier in theory.

     

    No Run! tights, $18.00. CPU: $18 per wear. Got a run.

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  5. 1. Misshapen $9.95 blouse from H&M purchased without trying on and incapable of entertaining more than one breast at a time 2. Set of faded beach towels with name labels sewn in from summer camp featuring a) butterflies b) dolphins c) sunset or d) all of the above 3. Inner thigh friction and other jort-related injuries, including but not limited to severe camel toe requiring gynecological intervention…

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  6. Holli Mintzer's Adventures in Vintage Window Shopping column last addressed the vital issue of the princess coat.

    We don’t really think that often about feet. I mean, I don’t. Maybe you do, I’m not judging. But feet are not a thing I think about particularly, and more than that the size of people’s feet is something I very rarely dwell on.

    But it does come up occasionally, for me, because vintage shoes are so goddamn

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  7. Holli Michele last wrote for The Toast about running a vintage shop without losing your mind. So, I have a deep and abiding love of midcentury fashion: one that does not extend to wanting to live Back Then. Given a time machine, I'd zip out to 1953 for exactly long enough to go shopping, and then high-tail it back to the era of reliable internet access and slightly less oppressive gender roles. And of…

    49 comments
  8. Every year around this time I find myself aimlessly searching online for Christmas gift ideas. One of the sites I frequent is a notoriously trendy retailer that epitomizes the mass production of “originality.” I don’t waste my time with their overpriced fashion offerings, but proceed directly to the novelty bonanza that is their “APARTMENT” section. Mundane suburbanites need not enter. My visits to the store’s website are never without internal conflict: On the one hand,…

    18 comments
  9. Poor Lily Bart! She makes such terrible choices, doesn't she? Happily, on her way to that house party in Rhinebeck, she donned a pair of…

  10. Lindsay-King Miller most recently told us How Not to Walk Around Naked. Hello and welcome, Toasties! I am a fashionable fat girl on a budget, and as such, my love/hate relationship with clothing is more fraught and all-consuming than any other contentious relationship in my life, including that one time I had a crush on my roommate. The things I love don't come in my size; the things that come in my size I can't…

    134 comments
  11. Over at Big Baby Gear headquarters, they have a saying: "you have to go after the first-time parents, because second-time parents aren't gonna buy she-eet." They are correct. I bought a lot of stuff. Some things weren't stupid, and I cherished them. Some things weren't stupid, but got recalled because of mold concerns. Some things were stupid, and are now covered with dust, and some things were stupid, but I love them and have no…

    126 comments
  12. YOU CAN ERASE TIME WITH THESE LITTLE BASTARDS

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  13. I love Oprah Winfrey.

    When The Oprah Winfrey Show was on the air I didn’t watch it much, because that woman has a gift for finding my heartstrings and pulling them until I’m feeling whatever emotion she wants me to feel. Full disclosure: I cried like a baby when she interviewed John Travolta about his then-upcoming movie Ladder 49. And, I mean: really, Jessie? That shit is not sad. It got 40% on Rotten…

    31 comments