Admit it, this holiday season sucked. As did the entirety of 2015, so far. Did anyone buy you perfect wedge boots? No. No they did not. And now, here you are, stepping in cat puke in your bare feet. What's wrong with the cat? You'll figure it out tomorrow. Today is for buying your own damn boots.
West Side Story Tony runs through the alley, calling for Maria. She appears, and he turns towards her delicate voice. Maria is perched on her fire escape wearing flannel drawstring pajama pants and an old Coldplay t-shirt. Tony makes his way towards her. If he’s disappointed, you couldn’t tell by his beaming smile. Wishing she had left her bra on until it was closer to bedtime, she decides to play this coyly. Breakfast at Tiffany’s…
I was killing time waiting for my daughter to meet me for dinner when I spotted the perfect leather jacket, adorning a headless mannequin in a fancy department store.
Standing in the men’s dressing room at Nordstrom, I am afraid I’ve made a mistake. My new suit from Topshop was designed for only the thinnest and cruelest of bargain-hunting British men. I am a five foot three American queer in Texas. The sleeves hang so far over my hands they disappear. The pants gape around my waist and cling to my ass. We have just spent $400 on this thing, and I look ridiculous.
Ten months ago, I bought myself a brown corduroy blazer. With elbow patches. As it settled around my shoulders, I felt a surge of confidence fill me—a knowledge that, while I may look like an utter dweeb, I was doing exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I took a picture wearing it—a professorial selfie—and shared it with my friends. Who does that? It would be so much easier to say goodbye to…
According to Herodotus, when Greek soldiers met the Scythians in battle, they were amazed to see Scythian women on horseback fighting alongside the men, all wearing pants and decorated armor. When they went back to Greece they immortalized those Scythian women for posterity as the legendary Amazons in their poetry and art. Painting them looking both chic and fierce, their pictures of the Amazons are some of the earliest Western artworks showing women
As far as I’m concerned, bathing suits are the problem. Bathing suits shouldn’t even exist. You should be bathing (or sunbathing?) naked (or slathered with sunscreen.) A bathing suit implies that it has no functionality, just pure decoration and I just cannot tolerate that. Swimsuits, on the other hand! Different styles (bi-, tri-, tank-, mono-, bandeau- kinis, one piece, trunks) have different advantages and disadvantages, but whatever you’re wearing, swimming is not a sport for…
Joan Baez’s memoir, And A Voice To Sing With, is far more of a tell-all than most musicians’ memoirs. While Bob Dylan’s Chronicles is mostly about Woody Guthrie and antique shopping in the 1980s, And A Voice To Sing With tells you, if anything, too much about “The Queen of Folk’s” personal life: her teenage sexual fantasies about Marlon Brando; her complicated relationship with Bob Dylan; her sweet and short-lived romance with a woman,…
YOU SEARCHED FOR: Girl’s Clothing. Top result: Toddler’s Knit Halter Top, Vintage 1975. Item description: Pink popcorn wool knit, tiny red floral appliqués here and there; lace trim. Modeled on vintage teddy bear. Halter is made in Taiwan. No size specified, but will fit most girls aged 1-2. Item worn maybe four times, appropriated for teddy bear seven years later. Snaps at neck. Small grass stain at lace hem. Price: $20. THIS SELLER’S OTHER ITEMS:…
The other night, I was wearing my favourite pair of underwear. They're from 2009 and they have a Guinness logo on them and pink edging and I bought them in order to have a truly authentic souvenir of the time I went to Ireland for ten days with my mom's parish (close tab). But, whatever, I really love them and have probably vaguely anthropomorphized them at this point. But if I don't pack them, they…
