ByKaren Chee

Karen Chee is a writer/performer who once got kicked off a farm in rural France. She likes improv and swing dancing and has been published on sites like McSweeney's and CollegeHumor. Talk with her on Twitter: @karencheee

  1. First, have a modeling career. During your candidacy and after you take office, the press will thoroughly cover your physical appearance. They might compare your body to all sorts of fruits. This kind of scrutiny may distract the public from your main purpose of making political change. To get used to hearing all the negative comments about your figure, spend anywhere from three to twenty years of your life working as a professional model. Your looks…