Previously by Paula Duhatschek: Everything You Can Buy in a 1977 Archie Comic, in Order of Desirability "I Enjoyed My Teenage Years, But Don’t Think of Them Often" "The Knowledge Economy is Coming and I For One Am Thankful" "The Highway’s Jammed (with Responsible Drivers Who Have Made a Choice to Obey the Recommended Speed Limit)" "The Homecoming King and Queen Enjoyed an Amicable Divorce" "I’m Looking Forward to Revisiting My Hometown, Where the American…