It's time for the first, and possibly only, installment of Lazy, Gender-Neutral Beauty Advice. Options presented below in reverse order of effectiveness but chronological order with regard to frequency. Gently--very gently--bat wet eyelashes in the shower over your extended forefingers repeatedly until enough mascara has Shroud of Turin'd itself onto your knuckles to merit handwashing. Pinch pre-wettened thumb and forefinger against the eyelid, slowly and carefully pushing as much of the mascara as possible off of…