Skip to the article, or search this site

Home: The Toast

Previous entries in the series can be found here.

Sarah, darling!
Got your note

oh lovely
couldn’t possibly make it over for the christening
as I’m simply swamped at the moment
(you may recall I was left at the altar
and have spent the intervening years reeling from the betrayal)

yes I remember
Wish terribly I could make it
but you know how it is
being jilted

Well
we’ll set out a piece of cake for you just in case
Please don’t worry about me
I’m surrounded by the ruins of an aching, hopeless love that’s slowly congealing into poison
so I’m keeping busy
much love to the baby

thank you
if it’s a boy I hope you drown it

Pip
Pip what are you doing right now

I’m at work
what’s up
did you know that my name would have been Mrs. Compeyson
if I’d married my fiancé Mr. Compeyson

really
but I never did marry him
right
because as you recall
I was abandoned on my wedding day
by my fiancé

(Mr. Compeyson)
and have never never never recovered
but I’m just thrilled to hear that you’re doing so well
just Havisham will do for now
unless he comes back

is there anything in particular you need from me right now?
all men are dogs Pip
okay
write that down
I will
really write it down though
are you writing it down?

yes
I think you’re just saying you’re writing it down
no I wrote it down

Estella what are you doing tonight
do you want to come over and look at wedding photos

I don’t think I can
that’s okay
I never had wedding photos anyway
because I never got to have a wedding
I don’t know if I ever told you that

I never want to see another save the date evite again
oh my godddd
Has she been texting you too?
YES
or like
I think yes
because I keep getting pictures of wedding dresses from a blocked number

[Image via Wikimedia Commons]

$
Select Payment Method

Loading ...

Personal Info

Donation Total: $1.00

Add a comment

Skip to the top of the page, search this site, or read the article again

(Close this.)