This week we made you Toast-themed T-shirts. Buy them, that you might display your Internet savviness and that I might pay my bills and buy expensive cheese for another month.

Also, I got a Tumblr. What does one do with one, exactly. How do you talk at people. Is that even a function of Tumblr. So far I’ve just been putting some extra-long jokes on it and that seems to be working pretty okay, but let me know if there’s something better I could do.

Nicole presided over the triumphant return of Feel the Burn, and I’m actually going to put it to use this week. I AM THIS CLOSE TO BEING ABLE TO DO A PULLUP. I can tell.

Delightful essays about the changing concept of childhood in Victorian literature. Everyone likes Victorian literature. You just think you don’t.

Nicole also brought back My Life In Middlemarch! And next week she will be leaving us, and Samantha Powell will guide us through those rocky days until Nicole returns.

If you think Ayn Rand’s The Rainbow Fish was a standalone and not the beginning of a long-running series, you’re a fool. Those two monks won’t quit inventing new kinds of art anytime soon, either.

I leave you with this question to ponder over the weekend:

“If she says “No,” do you still exist?

Have you ever existed?”