Oh, my 70% beautiful, beautiful women and 30% weird dudes and 100% librarians, I have missed you so much! I will be gradually ramping back up to full-time here at The Toast, but we’ll start with Monday link roundups. AND TODAY IS MONDAY. I am very well, thank you, I will have a Hilarious and Deeply Moving birth story to share in due course (PREVIEW: I was accidentally locked into a concrete stairwell in full-blown labor without my phone for an hour while wearing a backless hospital gown), and it’s wonderful to be able to tell you what to read while not-doing your job once more.
Look, look. There is NO HUMAN on God’s green earth who loves and unconditionally supports the existence of the British Royal Family more than I do, but obviously Emma Watson would NEVER date Prince Harry, it would be like dating Ron Weasley all over again, but on the day he thought he had luck. The idea is utter nonsense, and also Harry has a type, and it’s slightly trashy-looking and very self-assured blondes whose parents own safari companies in African nations, which does not exactly scream Emma Watson. I have loved all of his blondes, for the record, and none of them seem to care that much about him, they are DELICIOUSLY self-actualized.
I was so excited to read this great interview in Rookie with Harlo Holmes, bc she is a COOL LADY I used to work with and a Friend of The Toast, and is talking about data and black girls who code and app development and all sorts of neat things:
You’ve said that it’s easier to get started than to actually stay in this field: What advice would you give to young women for sticking with this line of work?
It can be hard, especially for someone super into politics and activism, because you make a lot more money as an engineer at Facebook or Dropbox or something. I kind of find that soul-crushing. [Laughs] I try to stay as far away from their recruiters as possible. My income bracket is a little lower, but it works for me. But there are micro-aggressions. When you show up to a place and you don’t necessarily look like the person they’re expecting, it makes you feel uncomfortable. You can react to those things however you want: You can swallow it; you can point it out; you can blog about it anonymously or not. However you respond to those things is up to you. There’s literally no wrong way to respond. Just know that it’s probably going to happen to you, and when it does, you are absolutely not alone.
Alexis Coe is giving a talk at the Morbid Anatomy Museum in Brooklyn on March 4th on “Erotomania and Murder,” which, I mean, c’mon.
The Oscars! I’m watching them, but will be too sleepy after to update the roundup with the exciting moments of the dcdninc, so let’s talk!
Have you guys ever heard this obscure song called “Uptown Funk”? I enjoy this song very much.
Kukla, Fran and Ollie (very into this!):
Today, we watch television not as curious viewers dipping into a creative and experimental new form of entertainment, but as audiences conditioned by genres, formulas, and network mandates. Without these limitations, Kukla, Fran and Olliecreated a new, gentle intimacy with its audience, one shaped by routine but not bound by formula, in which it was always possible to be delighted or moved. Perhaps it’s less that it’s strange for adults to feel strongly about children’s television and more that we’ve coded such qualities as childlike, that genres have become rigid enough that shows like Adventure Time are one of the few places we can expect to be charmed.
Here’s @tanehisicoates listening to Shelby Steele pic.twitter.com/JPo1zaB7e2
— Adam Serwer (@AdamSerwer) February 22, 2015
The only important link today is Vanity Fair‘s interview with Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer, which is such a deep and abiding source of joy in my weekend that I want to share every perfect word with you, but I’ll stick to these ones instead:
He pouted. “I haven’t eaten anything for days,” he announced. She responded on cue. “Oh, honeybun, that’s terrible!” Heartened, he continued, “There was a charity dinner last night, and the food was so awful nobody ate anything.” She fumbled through her bags. He looked on hopefully, but she landed on a bottle of Advil. “I have to have these—I’m sorry,” she said, shaking out a few pills, which dropped onto the carpet. She picked them up and swallowed them anyway. “There were just so many stairs today,” she said, continuing to dig until she unearthed a Kashi peanut-butter granola bar. “I brought half a peanut-butter cookie with me,” she told him cajolingly. He eyed it shrewdly. “Not half,” he said. “A quarter.” O.K., guys. Part of the reason we’re here today is to talk about your 50-year friendship. “What do you mean, friendship?” Andrews asked. “Exactly,” Plummer said.
My friend Joey wanted me to tell you that NYC’s first queer Comic Con is going to be AMAZING and you should GO, and also I want to send a fun queer person to experience it and can get you tix, so if you’re very funny and nerdy and queer and a good writer, drop me a line, k?
The Awl’s new advice column “The Concessionist” has caused me to re-evaluate literally every aspect of my life, and it’s very funny, so now I just do what Dear Polly and The Concessionist say, and I hope you enjoy it:
Ha ha, yeah, it’s mid-February now, so what your girlfriend is saying is that you are actually six to eight weeks away from getting dumped. As soon as winter is over, and your lady sees some hottie’s ankles on the streets, it’s curtains for you. Say goodbye. WE CAN SAVE THIS RELATIONSHIP THOUGH. Probably. It’s just, it’s your fault. So.
In fairness to Giuliani, a lot of his comments are less inflammatory in the original parseltongue.
— Mark Harris (@MarkHarrisNYC) February 22, 2015
I have been breastfeeding (it worked this time! wild! toooootally different experience!) so I have been watching more TV than any other living soul, and would love to talk about The Flash, Broad City, Gotham, Agent Carter, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Americans, Justified, Better Call Saul, The Mindy Project, Broadchurch (UK version), Parks and Rec, Scandal, literally any and all action films of the 1990s, the SNL reruns they’ve been showing, and the trailer for the movie where Olivia Wilde comes back from the dead.
A word about the If So-and-So Were Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend series! Isn’t it great? Nikki and I just wanted to slightly redirect submissions for it by briefly speaking about the ESSENCE of the series, the GESTALT of the endeavor: at most, only one of the items should be super sexual! We’ve gotten a bunch that are just kinda creepin’ on Idris Elba’s bod, which, oh man, right there with you, but what makes for a successful installment is that it’s more revealing about you and your search for love and meaningful personal connection in the world, GRAFTED ON to a celebrity you have strong feelings for, and less about boning that celebrity. So if you’re penning one, that’s just something to keep in mind! You can submit whatever you want, and we’ve loved reading all of them, that’s just some info to help you maximize your chances at success.
