This is a meaningless exercise; every rhyme in “Pinot Noir” is a perfect mix of the pedestrian and the sublime. Language serves Titus, he is not beholden to rules. What rhymes with pinot noir? Anything, everything. Each new lyric is a master class in making the best of what you have.
14. Myanmar
13. “who your true friends are”
12. “you’re a star”
11. Pop-u-lar
10. “yet so far”
9. Au revoir
8. Caviar
7. Cigar
6. Leather bar
5. Boudoir
4. Spectacu-lar
3. Mid-sized car
2. Roseanne Barr
1. “Listen to Tom Beren-gar”
I would listen to a solid hour of Tituss Burgess playing with pronunciation in order to create new rhymes for “pinot noir.” Here are some suggestions, if he ever decided to release a director’s cut of the song:
Super-compu-tar
Abattoir
Reservoir
Gold memoir
Multi-cellu-lar
Little Cae-sar’s
Bezoar
Kill the czar
Jean Renoir
King Babar
No guitar
Find your star
Côte d’Ivoire
Go, Qatar
Don’t trust Jafar
Arctic char
Bumper cars
The Bell Jar
Pinot Noir
Tags: music, pinot noir is the queer anthem for our generation, tituss burgess, unbreakable kimmy schmidt
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This is a thing of beauty (as is, of course, pinot noir. candy bar.)
Super Star
Galactic War
Tubular
Ha-ha-har
Also true facts that anything can rhyme with “Pinot Noir” when you’re numbed from novocaine. Try it next time you’re at the dentist!
“Don’t trust Jafar” — perfect rhyme, and also, great life advice
pinot noir
near, far
pinot noir
wherever you are
OK. Watching this show.
Don’t know a thing about it, but I am now officially watching it.
You will not regret it.
Hedy Lamarr
Candy bar
Boer War
Haute Cout-ar
That’s Hedley!
CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT HOW MANY LITTLE TINY FIST-BUMPS I SHARE WITH THE UNIVERSE WHILE LISTENING TO THE THIS SONG OVER AND OVER AND OVER.
and because it was too good to not share/blatantly stolen from someone far more clever than i:
pinot noir, jean-luc picard <3
which leads me down the wonderful rabbit hole of: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6oUz1v17Uo
#SORRYNOTSORRY
TITUSS BURGESS, YOU ARE MESMERIZING
If this was “Kimmy Schmidt” week and there was a post every day where we could all sit around and post gifs and quote the show at each other, then I WOULD NOT COMPLAIN
Why is this not Kimmy Schmidt week?? I’m sure the average Toast reader has already watched the whole series twice.
Yes. I think that’s a good estimation of the average Toast reader.
OMG HOW DID YOU KNOW? :O
Mid second watch RIGHT NOW.
As long as we get at least one post looking at it with a critical lens. As mentioned in the Link Roundup, it is in many ways perfection but sadly not all of them.
(This song being, of course, one example of perfection.)
Why do i not have a tearaway electrician’s coverall? I promise I would use it responsibly. Or irresponsibly. One of the other, promise.
I could listen to Tituss Burgess singing in falsetto “Pinooooooot noooo-aaaaar” forever. He is a treasure.
One of my favorite parts of the show is the Crank. Crank You For Being A Crank. I’d read fanfic of what turning that damn crank could actually be powering.
Jimmy crank crank, and I crank crank, Jimmy crank crank and I crank crank… I wanted to send a crank gif/video to my friend this morning to encourage her to lean into her cranky mood but I couldn’t find one. : ( P.S. They reveal what it’s doing in one of the last episodes.
I’m guessing you haven’t finished the show yet.
i have! but i didn’t want to spoil it for other folks. and i think it’s fun to think of something funnier that the crank could have been used for that its actual purpose.
Ah, too true. That’s the only thing that made me sad about how I binged it all the day it came out: It would have been fun to have had more time and space for that speculation.
I’ve decided that Lillian is my new life model.
Abattoir is the Vorhees’ dog’s name! I can’t believe they didn’t utilize that.
(…having alt text problems, but just pretend it says, “And there’s a stain on his jeans that could only be from re-varnishing an Edwardian escritoire“)
Off topic but that is literally a desk — whoops sorry escritoire — that I own. And it has like fifteen secret hiding places for your various secret files and priceless family heirlooms and murder weapons in it and it’s amazing, so. Much recommended.
I’ve been wandering around my house for the last 15 minutes singing “Pinot noir? Conquistasnor!” and it took me way too long to realize that they were from different Mallory things.
Hover car, Grand Bazaar, Geoffrey Chau-SAR, Gibraltar
I read a really negative review of Kimmy this morning and now I want to fight somebody. Normally, I’m all “whatever, different strokes, etc etc etc,” but I am actually mad about this one.
Between this and the theme song, I don’t think I haven’t had a song from this show stuck in my head for 4 days.
They actually commissioned Schmoyoho, the Songify originators, to do the theme! There’s an extended version on YouTube: http://youtu.be/WYNbp0u8WjA
Also, the Spider-Man song! “I will crush that Spider-Man! And that ooooother Spider-Man! And allllll the Spider-Mans! ‘Til I’m the only Spider-Man!””
My husband and I were in actual tears at the Spider-Man song.
You can also see the actual interview they used to make the song here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUk6GmqfqnY
someone on my BART car this morning had the theme song as their ringtone and a good number of us were trying not to jam out to it. they alive, damnit!
“Your singing woke the bats up!” is now something I say (to myself and others) frequently and with great mirth.
(I’m so mad that I can’t find a gif of the bats at the abandoned chandelier factory.)
I want Pinot Noir played at my wedding and/or funeral
Pinot Noir
Gom Jabbar
Sardaukar
Cultivar
Wooden Barre
Frances Parr
Avatar
Mason jar
Crepuscu-lar
Let’s not forget the brilliant “Teri Garr, Jamie Farr, these are 70’s TV stars” bit when he was still composing the song.
YouTube has no idea what sort of related videos I might want to watch after this one. It’s about wine, right? How about an infomercial for shatterproof wine glasses? (Wait, people drink wine out of glasses? That seems like a tremendously inefficient system.)
Pinot Noir, Iyengar
Mid second watch RIGHT NOW.
Did anyone else notice that the Vorhees’ dog is named abattoir?
…I don’t know what this show is but this song speaks to me and I spotted Richard Kind in the video so I think I might need to investigate.
Emily Carr
Couche-Tard
Zanzibar
Drakkar Noir
Saint Bernard
Le Devoir
Shofar
Pablo Escobar
Lucien Bouchard
Peshawar
Simon Bolivar
These have been popping into my head all day. It’s getting out of control.
Spock's Pon Farr