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This is a meaningless exercise; every rhyme in “Pinot Noir” is a perfect mix of the pedestrian and the sublime. Language serves Titus, he is not beholden to rules. What rhymes with pinot noir? Anything, everything. Each new lyric is a master class in making the best of what you have.

14. Myanmar
13. “who your true friends are”
12. “you’re a star”
11. Pop-u-lar
10. “yet so far”
9. Au revoir
8. Caviar
7. Cigar
6. Leather bar
5. Boudoir
4. Spectacu-lar
3. Mid-sized car
2. Roseanne Barr
1. “Listen to Tom Beren-gar”

I would listen to a solid hour of Tituss Burgess playing with pronunciation in order to create new rhymes for “pinot noir.” Here are some suggestions, if he ever decided to release a director’s cut of the song:

Gold memoir
Little Cae-sar’s
Kill the czar
Jean Renoir
King Babar
No guitar
Find your star
Côte d’Ivoire
Go, Qatar
Don’t trust Jafar
Arctic char
Bumper cars
The Bell Jar
Pinot Noir

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