This is a meaningless exercise; every rhyme in “Pinot Noir” is a perfect mix of the pedestrian and the sublime. Language serves Titus, he is not beholden to rules. What rhymes with pinot noir? Anything, everything. Each new lyric is a master class in making the best of what you have.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JorhUm1gfg
14. Myanmar
13. “who your true friends are”
12. “you’re a star”
11. Pop-u-lar
10. “yet so far”
9. Au revoir
8. Caviar
7. Cigar
6. Leather bar
5. Boudoir
4. Spectacu-lar
3. Mid-sized car
2. Roseanne Barr
1. “Listen to Tom Beren-gar”
I would listen to a solid hour of Tituss Burgess playing with pronunciation in order to create new rhymes for “pinot noir.” Here are some suggestions, if he ever decided to release a director’s cut of the song:
Super-compu-tar
Abattoir
Reservoir
Gold memoir
Multi-cellu-lar
Little Cae-sar’s
Bezoar
Kill the czar
Jean Renoir
King Babar
No guitar
Find your star
Côte d’Ivoire
Go, Qatar
Don’t trust Jafar
Arctic char
Bumper cars
The Bell Jar
Pinot Noir
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.