My husband came across this thing while shopping for the kids’ Easter candy earlier this week. I’ve heard many a random prayer in my day (…and God, please help us all remember our lines and bring joy to all the people out there waiting to see our closing night performance of Kiss Me, Kate), but this one was new to me: “Thank you, Lord, for these jelly beans. They mean more than words can say.”
I mean, apparently someone did find the words to say, as they came up with this Jelly Bean Prayer and then slapped it on the back of a cross-shaped tin of jelly beans. Did you know that the white jelly beans represent the cleansing of your sin, while the black jelly beans represent YOUR EVILDOING HEART? Do you find that as troubling as I do? Things you can learn at your local Giant the week before Easter, kids. Salvation is free, but these scary jelly beans will cost your parents ten bucks.
Jelly beans are gross, anyway. Basket filler! Give me chocolate eggs and cheerfully pastel-colored M&Ms every time.
Now. What happened this week at The Toast? A great many delightful things:
Mallory gave us “A Highway Is A Way To Travel From City To City, Not A Way To Understand Myself” and other Songs from a Tom Waits Album Where No One Gets Drunk at a Diner.
The monks also returned to puzzle over animal behavior.
Lara Brenner told us how to survive the night bus.
Ashley Ford wrote another lovely Disrupting Domesticity column for The Butter.
Lindsey Gates-Markel reflected on old-school LiveJournal and what it means to write it all down.
Kendra James concocted this wonderful Idris Elba fantasy and the world is a better place for it.
Art historian Anna Ratner Hetherington explained why she teaches visual literacy.
Cate Burlington shared actual things said to her by her male tech colleagues.
Anna Cabe told us about her history as a teen trivia jock.
Mallory just has feelings about crows, okay?
Just a friendly and perhaps relevant reminder that I recently took over payments for The Toast. If we owe you for past work, please email me and we’ll get you taken care of immediately. Have a wonderful weekend, dear Toasties!
