“We would have paid her the same if she weighed 500 pounds”: Publishing, Weight, and Writers Who Are “Hard To Look At” -The Toast

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Yesterday Entertainment Weekly ran a piece about debut novels with six-figure advances and why publishers are willing to take big financial risks on (relative) literary unknowns. The answer is, among other things, “because they believe they will make even more money later,” but the part that really leapt out at me was this:

You can’t count on selling a book on the writer’s talent alone—so while factors like being photogenic or savvy with social media won’t make or break a deal, they can definitely sweeten it. “I actually knew very little about [Sweeney] when I bought The Nest,” says her editor at Ecco, Megan Lynch. “I didn’t know that, for example, she knew Amy Poehler well enough to approach her for a blurb. That was a happy bonus.” Lynch stresses that while she would never “decline a book I loved because I felt like the author wouldn’t be able to handle an NPR interview, it would certainly affect how determined I might be: Am I going to hang in for another round at auction, or drop out?” Herr, for her part, acknowledges that an author’s appearance can affect an advance — “We look at all of that stuff” — but insists, “We would have paid her the same money if she weighed 500 pounds and was really hard to look at. That’s my firm belief [emphasis added].”

“We would have paid her the same money if she weighed 500 pounds and was really hard to look at.”

This is such a telling quote in so many ways, and says a great deal about what types of writers so many of the gatekeepers in publishing are looking for – often, although not in this case, unconsciously. The “if she weighed 500 pounds” part is so clearly a hyperbolic flourish, as if Herr was thinking, what’s something really outrageous, something that no great writer would ever be, to make it clear how much we don’t let someone’s looks influence the size of their advance, as if to say, Can you imagine a brilliant writer who also weighed 500 pounds. It’s the “or purple” of “I don’t care if you’re black, or white, or purple”: This would never happen, but even if it did, I wouldn’t care.

“We’d have bought this book EVEN IF – I don’t know – the writer were 500 pounds, as if that could ever happen.” But that could, and does, happen! People of that size both exist and write. They sometimes write tremendous and valuable things.

It’s easy, I think (and entirely appropriate!) to be angry with Claudia Herr as an individual for saying this, but this is less a case of one bad apple spoiling publishing for everyone than one person perhaps-unconsciously echoing a common, often unspoken, sentiment. Most likely Herr and others would not say to an interviewer, “I doubt fat people could write a book worth two million dollars,” and would in fact think of themselves as open-minded when it comes to size, but in an unguarded, unreflective moment, would throw out the idea of a 500-pound writer as an absurdity, as a mental exercise, rather than a plausible occurrence.

I don’t think, for what it’s worth, that the best possible outcome of this story is that Claudia Herr issues a public apology and is rejected or forgiven; I’m less interested in her personal culpability and more interested in critiquing and opposing the idea that anyone is “hard to look at.” This quote makes it fairly clear what constitutes “easy to look at,” and I have to imagine that a lot of aspiring writers reading this article who know they might fit into a “hard to look at” category would be discouraged from ever pitching an agent or editor.

What that quote promises is, at best, that editors and other publishing gatekeepers will do their best not to hold a writer’s appearance against them, and promises it weakly at that. “We would have paid her the same money if she weighed 500 pounds and was really hard to look at” translates roughly to: “We would not try to offer a fat writer less money for being fat,” which seems an awfully low bar. The effect is a little too self-congratulatory by half. While it’s not a direct comparison, I imagine reading a prospective employer proudly promising not to pay fat employees less money than their thin counterparts: “We promise not to violate the law when compensating people for their work”. It assumes, too, that the reader believes it’s normal or somehow instinctive to want to offer less money to a fat writer (or anyone “hard to look at”). A lot of writers who know that editors and agents think of their bodies as “hard to look at” knew what that sentence means for them and what they can expect in trying to get published.

“A body that is hard to look at”! What a phrase: it exhausts and it fascinates me. A body that is hard to look at. We promise to offer money, even to someone in a body that is hard to look at. We all know the bodies that are hard to look at. “Even if.” We promise not to hold your body against you. Everyone knows you’re hard to look at, but we promise not to mind. We notice it, but we won’t mind. It’s so clear what “easy to look at” means here! Think of the bodies that are easy to see in publishing: those are the bodies that are easy to look at. Writers who know their own bodies do not fit in that category, bodies that are too big, too dark-skinned, not able-bodied, not cis or cis-passing, too queer, not conventionally attractive, and any combination thereof, know what it means, and what being “hard to look at” will cost them.

Publishing is overwhelmingly dominated by white, heterosexual, able-bodied women. What bodies do they think are hard to look at?

It says a great deal how common this attitude is within publishing that Herr did not think twice about having this quote attached to her name, that she did not wish to be quoted anonymously. Everyone will know what I mean. She likely will end up offering a public apology of some sort, something like, “What I meant to say was that we would pay any author of any size the same amount if the book was good; I merely acknowledged we live in a world where women’s appearances are often counted strongly for or against them.” And that will be fine, in its own way, but it’s also an extraordinary opportunity for the people working in publishing to look at how easy or how difficult they make it for fat writers, for queer writers, for writers of color, for writers with disabilities (especially those with immediately visible disabilities), to stop seeing size as a setback or a deviation from the norm that must be overcome with some additional, extra-special qualities.

I also simply and fundamentally disagree that a body can be hard to look at. You may or may not like someone else’s body; someone else’s body may elicit a sense of discomfort within you, but that does not make them hard to look at. You’re not hard to look at.

No one is hard to look at.

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A body is a body is a body. No matter how heavy or "ugly" or visibly disabled somebody is, you can look at them just fine. They aren't fucking Cthulu.
15 replies · active 464 weeks ago
Thank you. I read that article the other day and immediately felt shame about my overweight, old body. I don't have a problem with myself, generally, and publicly celebrate bodies of all shapes. I'm super body-positive! And yet, that throw-away line in a cheap magazine (that I subscribe to, and look forward to reading, don't get me wrong) threw me for an effing loop.
Social conditioning is real, apparently. Ugh.
I'm really intrigued at Herr (and in a slightly more deniable way, Lynch) saying first "Of course we take into account appearance" before saying "But we absolutely don't take it into account". Either you look at "all of that" and how they would do on NPR or you don't, but you can't have it both ways.
2 replies · active 464 weeks ago
"hard to look at" was exactly how I was described once to a friend by a guy I had a huge crush on, so this whole thing has made me want to curl up in a ball and roll away into the horizon.
13 replies · active 464 weeks ago
What's particularly disheartening about this attitude is that writing is not a performing art. There's no need for your audience to see you at all, ever; in the act of consuming the art, you can't see the artist.

I think one of my biggest breakthroughs in dealing with my own size and the degree to which it was other people's problem was when I went through a period when I had moved to another state and couldn't find work. This was on the cusp of the Internet era--nobody there knew me, I was applying for jobs via letter, and I wasn't even getting interviews.

My mother: "Well, I hate to say this <uh huh> but the reason you're not getting a job is probably because you're fat."

Me <thinking>: Yeah, she's right, nobody wants me because I'm fat.

LIGHTBULB FLASHES FIGURATIVELY OVER MY HEAD.

Me: Wait a minute! None of these people have ever even seen me! Are you telling me that they can tell I'm fat just by reading my resume?
35 replies · active 464 weeks ago
Thanks for thinking and writing about this in a public way, Mallory.
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (cont'd. on pg. 120)
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
Doctor Jay's avatar

Doctor Jay · 464 weeks ago

Yes. Well said, Mallory.
Only one name is needed to mention here: George R. R. Martin.
9 replies · active 463 weeks ago
shinobi42's avatar

shinobi42 · 464 weeks ago

I have to admit, that one of the things that holds me back from really focusing on writing the non fiction thing I want to write is my weight. I'm not skinny enough to be the next Nate Silver.

(Obviously, the rest of it is things like writing is HAAARD but you know, that's not helping.)
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
And it's SO gendered! Perhaps unfairly, Brandon Sanderson and Patrick Rothfuss sprang to mind as soon as I read those words - even though neither are obese, I would also not consider either of them to be conventionally attractive, and they are doing GREAT in their corner of the publishing world. (Mostly I'm just obsessed with both of their bodies... OF WORK... and desperately need the next in their respective series to come out, like, yesterday.)
3 replies · active 464 weeks ago
So, I have a graduate degree in publishing but have never had so much as an internship in the field. That comes down to mistakes I made, choices I made, and ultimately I understand that any and all "failures" in that area of my life are mine to own. HOWEVER. This hits it SO HARD. I am a fat lady and from the minute I stepped into school I felt like I didn't belong there, and yes, there were lots of reasons for that, but I feel like so much of why I didn't fit was because of how I looked/how I presented myself at that time of my life. [The other part of this being that I dressed terrible/ate terrible/felt terrible because I was *poor*, and that is another thing publishing doesn't forgive, even though so much of their entry level work is literally not paid.]

People have been saying since I was seven years old (the year I Got Fat) that I need to have confidence, that I just need to prove myself to break through the bullshit, but when the world repeatedly tells you that you have less worth than the Skinny Girl, not in words necessarily but in everything else, every day, is it any wonder that you start to feel like you are literally worth less? And then it cycles around and around.

From a writer's perspective, also, it feels like you have to know people to get a foot in the door, (yeah, no big, I'm just casual friends with Amy Poehler, right), and to do that you have to network, and to do that successfully you can't possibly be fat. [again, not necessarily factually true, but this is the shit the world feeds us.]
6 replies · active 464 weeks ago
Oof, this is especially hard to read in an article that contains only women's names, unequivocally celebrates their success, and depicts them as helping one another make it. Like, it's a wonderful warm feeling packed into just a few paragraphs, and then one throwaway line shows you the limit.
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
My favorite part of this essay is the way you broke down the semantic absurdity of that statement. People aren't often forced to get up in a sentence's face that way. Speaking as a person that Herr would probably find hard to look at, but who also wants to get her novel published, I don't especially care if she apologizes, but I would love to sentence her to reading your essay. It's a come-to-Jesus moment that somehow manages not to be judgmental. Best thing for someone who needs to get their mind right.
2 replies · active 464 weeks ago
I'm heartened by the responses to that quote from so many people who push back on the sentiment that there are bodies that are hard to look at or worth less, but, uh, fat people are paid less. Now. For real. Women especially. Women of color especially especially. In all kinds of industries. They get fewer jobs. They get fewer promotions. I would assume they get fewer offers of all kinds, including book deals, big advances or no, because I certainly don't see as many out there pushing their work as I see every day in person. It's honestly kind of refreshing to see someone actually admit it out loud, even if this one thought she was doing the opposite.
3 replies · active 464 weeks ago
Thank you for this article. I've worked in the book sales industry, with publishers, and I'm now entering a career that runs adjacent to publishing, and the world of publishing is infuriating and maddening (like all the world, but... yeah).
Lily Rowan's avatar

Lily Rowan · 464 weeks ago

Maybe THAT's the real secret of Elena Ferrante! Maybe she's..... (whispers) fat.

Burn them all to the ground.
Well, that certainly explains why the books (and I use the word "book" loosely) I translate for a living are mostly such unadulterated, badly-written, trite bilge, chock-full of vacuous cliches and Neanderthal mentality (albeit, mind-bogglingly - at least to me - popular bilge). It's not the (not even adequate) writing that matters, it's the writers' looks. What a load of unadulterated BOLLOCKS.

And yeah, most of them are YA or paranormal crap, sorry, I meant paranormal romance. Strangely enough, with all that "increased visibility" (FFS!), the most popular of "my" authors (and, incidentally, the only one who can actually write *and* create a decent story) is rather overweight, yet her books have been made into movies and TV series. I guess someone forgot to tell her she has problems in the visibility department. For crying out loud!

And here I was, thinking that the only thing a writer needed was imagination, a gift for words and something interesting and original to say. Stupid, stupid me.
2 replies · active 464 weeks ago
Thank you for this Mallory (knowing you're an ally makes me so happy). This text is so incredibly relevant because people often think weight discrimination is all about owning your body and being confident (although those are of course important). However fat people face discrimination in the workplace (they are often underpaid and not hired because of their looks), when they try to seek medical help, etc. What future do I have as a writer or an academic and writer if I'm so "hard to look at"? I feel at times so frustrated and afraid.
I hear "a body that is hard to look at" and all I can think of is Stand By Me
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
Maybe this was taken out of context and he was saying "this book on how to be skinny and stay skinny always and what it's like to exist in society as a very very skinny person was so good, I would have paid top dollar for it even if the author weighed 500 pounds" but probably not.
The concept of tolerance as a goal just needs to die already. An embarrassingly short time ago, I was merrily going along mirroring "A More Tolerant World for Everyone!" and my husband was all, "Yeahhhhh. We should aim higher. Dick move saying you're going to tolerate someone. Come on." Anyway, thought this applied to this lady's quote.
This vaguely reminds me of that awful obituary for Colleen McCullough where the guy was basically like, "She was fat, but people still liked to read her books."

I still wtf about that from time to time.
3 replies · active 464 weeks ago
HelenaCosimaSarah's avatar

HelenaCosimaSarah · 464 weeks ago

Great essay.
Small note: Over/underweight people aren't a protected class, so it's actually legal to pay people of one weight group less than another.

(Note 1: This is true at the federal level; there may be states in which weight groups are protected classes. Note 2: It would *not* be legal to pay overweight women less than women of normal weight, but not vary pay for men based on weight, since that would be sex discrimination. I think. IANAL.)
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
Christin's avatar

Christin · 464 weeks ago

And there was also that piece on The Biggest Loser about how dieting doesn't work and wrecks your metabolism. Yesterday was a bad day to be fat.
As someone whose 2 main leisure activities are writing and distance running, let me also say that, assuming that writing is a side hustle/hobby for many of us, it's pretty difficult to balance serious artistry with serious body maintenance while working full time (to say nothing of also trying to make family, social, and romantic time work out). It's like the old analogy of the stove with a broken burner; which pot, so to speak, doesn't get cooked? I love running, but if I'm in a good writing groove, I typically want to keep that going, so I might skip a workout in favor of writing. And, tbh, it's pretty easy for one peanut butter cup to turn into 20 if the words are really flowing.

I am not naturally thin; my normal body state is small-boned but, let's say, cuddly. So the trade off is quite real if I'd rather write a few days a week than hit the gym.
5 replies · active 464 weeks ago
I love when people reveal their prejudice right at the very moment they believe they are saying something charitable or inclusive. It's awful to read yet it unveils a horrible reality that is so rarely acknowledged.
"You're so beautiful, it hurts to look at you." "Where would it hurt?"

I think of "hard to look at" in an Angela Chase, deep longing felt by an emotional teenager, overwhelmed by the possibility of one's own emotions kind of way.
2 replies · active 464 weeks ago
Thank you for writing this. I love the Toast but I rarely see anything here about weight among the many thoughtful personal essays that are published here. It means a lot to me to see this, as a fat woman who constantly has to wonder if: I would have gotten that honor, into that grad program, a letter back from that literary agent, if things were different.
In a world where writers like Roxane Gay and (soon) Lindy West are/will be reaping accolades for their work, Herr just seems a bit out of touch, too. Like, have fun at Carrie Bradshaw's book launch party, giiiirl.
2 replies · active 464 weeks ago
I am hard to look at bc I'm as bright as a faceted diamond containing the sun.

I am hard to look at bc I'm a whirling vortex of fire, lightning, darkness, eyes, and teeth.

I am hard to look at bc I exist in several planes simultaneously.

I am hard to look at bc I am all teeth, claws, and photoluminescence in the darkest depths of the ocean.

I am hard to look at bc I fold like a vorpal sword, from 1 dimension to 4 dimensions.

I'm also fat, which has no bearing on how easy or hard it is to see my physical form although it is a handy excuse to ignore me, discount me, & deny my humanity.
7 replies · active 463 weeks ago
I can't even express how many times I've been on the receiving end of that intellectual exercise and they were, unknowingly, talking about me. "It's not like you weigh xxx pounds or something!"

But I do. What does that mean, if I do?
7 replies · active 463 weeks ago
Ugg. This reminds of how all the author photos I see these days (with women authors of more "literary" books) look so homogeneous and airbrushed. Straight hair, neutral makeup, friendly, approachable smile. Like , you are advertising yourself as an artist, an author, a creative genius hopefully. Why do you have to look "normal" and approachable? The photos look more similar because so many of these authors are youngish, thinnish white women, but I've seen writers of color and women of other shapes and ages shoved in the mold of these photos, too.
8 replies · active 464 weeks ago
roohbaroo's avatar

roohbaroo · 464 weeks ago

I would also like to say: Elena Ferrante! For all we know, she is 555 pounds. Or 55 pounds. Or made entirely of starlight and thus impossible to gaze upon. This doesn't seem to have affected her readers, book sales or her (non existent) NPR interviews. I know, I know, #preachingtothechoir, but -- their foolishness is so easily provable as wrong! That's what makes me most mad of all. If you're going to be prejudiced, at least come up with something half-baked.
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
Public Service Announcement: If you find human beings hard to look at please make an appointment with an ophthalmologist.
diaryofamadeditor's avatar

diaryofamadeditor · 464 weeks ago

When discussing (way, way too big) advances, an awesome editor friend said, "Publishing keeps thinking its Hollywood, but we forget that we don't have built-in popcorn sales." Big advances by (often) young, female debut authors is an extension of "ingénue" in every Hollywood sense. When we're talking about these books, though, it's important to see publishing in terms of other Lamestream Media. The Big 5 publishers are just divisions of multinational media conglomerates. Megan Lynch works for Ecco which is an imprint of Harper Collins with is a division of Newscorp. Megyn Kelly hosts a TV show which is aired on Fox News which is a division of Newscorp. (My point is only to compare that the Mega/yns ultimately work for the same company, and imply nothing more). Publishing is not a moral enterprise--it's a capitalist one.

Then there is Elana Ferrante, whose work is so good, *we don't even know who she is or if she's "hard to look at" or purple or good at NPR interviews because she doesn't give interviews.* We have release parties. Her sales are AWESOME (which I add for the financially-minded supervisor approving how much I'm allowed to bid in the auction). And the whole Ferrante phenomenon, to me, proves that the investment we put into the mediagenic stuff should be taken with a grain of salt & scaled back about that much. I'll also point out that Ferrante is published by the beloved indie Europa, so it isn't answering to the same corporate media bosses. One day, my colleagues will (hopefully) understand that: It's About the Book.
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
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chickpeas · 464 weeks ago

In addition to what's already been said, this is a particular slap in the face to this editor's other authors, some of whom are likely to be quote-unquote hard to look at. I would say... bordering on professional malpractice, actually. Not cool.
My friend Lucia Berlin was pretty much ignored by the mainstream publishing industry during her lifetime while she was cranking out amazing, artful short stories. (She published with Black Sparrow, a small press in California.) She was elderly and disabled and depended on an oxygen tank and a walker to get around. She lived in a trailer near the end of her life, and died in 2004. I'm really gratified that a posthumous collection came out last year, "A Manual for Cleaning Women," published by FS&G, and it was celebrated by everyone, really--it hit all the best-of-2015 lists and is being translated all over the world. But this thoughtful essay makes me think about how they promoted it with photos of Lucia in her 20's and 30's, taken before she'd started writing most of the stories included in the collection. She was fabulously glamorous--Vogue named her as a "beauty icon" for 2016. Even when her body was broken down, she was never "hard to look at," but more importantly, she had a voice that everybody should have paid attention to, during her lifetime. I wonder how many world-class writers like Lucia are being ignored for these spurious reasons.
3 replies · active 464 weeks ago
thank you for writing this.
the pressure to be a good writer is bad enough, but now i also have to look good and be social media savvy and be a good interview and be a "culture fit" and and and

plus add in the emotional labor of "am i being fairly compensated and treated since i'm not a slim white woman with a (an?) MFA pedigree or a famous connection to blurb my work?" it's effin' exhausting.

i can't lie. when i saw that quote, i stopped for a minute and let the discouragement sit on me. then i brushed it off and kept pushing. i'm going to do my part to change this industry. i don't know how, but it'll get done. so say we all!
Stef Maruch's avatar

Stef Maruch · 464 weeks ago

One correction to this excellent article: "I imagine reading a prospective employer proudly promising not to pay fat employees less money than their thin counterparts: 'We promise not to violate the law when compensating people for their work'." Sadly, it is entirely legal in most parts of the US to pay fat employees less money than thin ones. There is no protection against discrimination on the basis of size or appearance.
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
I have definitely not pitched to tons and tons of places because as a fat, non-abled bodied woman, I know they don't really want my voice there. It's especially true when you write about male-dominated topics. Like I would love to, but I also don't want people calling me fatty and harassing me because I'm not hot and they don't like my opinion, you know? Because you see what they say to the socially accepted "hot" girls and I'm like, "NO THANKS!" And it's like, this invisible unspoken force, but you bet your ass it's there.
I am in a research field where journals and conference proceedings occasionally put author photos at the end of articles. Why do we need to know what the writer of a scientific article looked like? Honestly, in my field, there's a 90+% chance of male, 50% chance of glasses; it's just not that exciting.

(I haven't published in any of these venues, but now I'm thinking of what would be the kookiest photo my boss would let me use.)
1 reply · active 464 weeks ago
Thank you.
It is sad that I have to love you for saying this but I do. It's so rare that a thin person acknowledges our humanity without condescending or concern-trolling or pretending not to notice that we're fat.
Thank you for writing about this. It's such a difficult topic and... seeing it so thoughtfully explicated made me feel less alone/crazy.
I also simply and fundamentally disagree that a body can be hard to look at. You may or may not like someone else’s body; someone else’s body may elicit a sense of discomfort within you, but that does not make them hard to look at. You’re not hard to look at.

No one is hard to look at.


Thank you, Mallory.

ETA haha I'm crying now life is a rich tapestry
It can be a cruel world out there and with social media it's become in-comprehendable how some people take it upon themselves to make such comments. Learn to love yourself within, respect your body and your mind and build a fortress around yourself to protect you from unkind people and words. What someone says about someone else, is a reflection of themselves.
It's important to note that this prejudice applies almost entirely to women.

I'm 400lbs, I don't mind saying, and an editor. I have made it a point to represent and reach out to fat authors precisely because of this issue. We have stories to tell and a unique perspective, and representation in media matters. If I had known even one successful fat author, heck even one successful fat person, as a teenager it would have changed a lot for me. As an adult, I'm determined to be that person for the girls who are teens now.
I apologize in advance if this is a bit rant-y. While I agree with the overall message of this article, a few lines touched a nerve.

Lynch said a terrible thing. It was cruel to fat people, who are no better or worse as writers (or as people) than their thin counterparts, and who deserve as many opportunities as anyone else. I'm a (thin) black woman. Lynch did not mention people of color, and yet Mallory was kind enough to share this insult with us too, because dark-skinned women are widely considered hard to look at too, right? Black women probably don't have enough discouragement as it is. Let's make it clear that if editors are shallow enough to discriminate against fat people, they certainly can't stand blacks. Obviously Mallory wants to make it clear that SHE doesn't consider us ugly. (She doesn't consider anyone ugly!) She's just pointing out that mostly everyone else does.

I have the feeling that while your average white feminist seems to want to be helpful, a part of them would just like to reaffirm that someone else is below them on the social ladder. This can be as discouraging as discourse from outright racists. An outright racist might say: black women, you'll probably never achieve anything because you're biologically inferior. An average white feminist might say: black women, you'll probably never achieve anything because everyone hates and devalues you.

As a black woman I encounter a lot of little race-related zingers, many completely unintentional. Lately, a good deal of them come from white women lamenting that women of color are way outside the accepted standard of beauty; how terrible it is that women of color are denied opportunities just because society considers them ugly. In fact, "society" does not consider black women ugly. Black super models and singers and actresses exist, and have massive, mainstream aesthetic appeal. They also contribute to shaping a standard of beauty, and yes, it's still pretty narrow and problematic, but that you think dark-skinned writers must know their bodies don't fit into the category of "easy to look at" says at least as much about you as it does about the society you're supposedly critiquing. Sometimes it feels like racists and white feminists are coming from the same place: insisting on their own superiority. The only difference is that white feminists claim to WISH we lived in a world where we were all equal. The more white feminists put me down and call me ugly (just in everyone else's eyes, of course), the more I suspect that wish is in fact a bit hollow.

To be clear, high profile/powerful people do sometimes say cruel things against dark-skinned people. In that case, sure, call them out. In this case, it's good of you to call someone out for saying something cruel against fat people. No one should be called "hard-to-look-at." But in this case you read the words "hard to look at" and thought, "Oh! I should also defend dark-skinned people (and a whole host of other people "society" thinks I'm better than), who are obviously considered hard to look at too." Can you see why this might be hurtful?
2 replies · active 464 weeks ago
You should have seen me huddled over my vaporizer, wheezing and miserable this morning. I had to avert my eyes from my reflection in the cold medicine bottle.
1 reply · active 432 weeks ago

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