Great House Therapy

  1. What Friends Say: That they’re sorry, but something came up and they can’t come over after all.

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  2. Devonshire is known for its rich pastures, downs, pleasant woods, and total lack of beaux.

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  3. Name: Mary Lennox, once-bratty orphan who has rather improved in her demeanor
    Location: Yorkshire, England, where the wind is always wutherin’
    Size: Unknown, as owner Mr. Archibald Craven spends most of his time wandering the earth in a vain attempt to escape his sorrows

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  4. Their Style: Georg favors a seafaring aesthetic inspired by rigid discipline, uniforms, and a lot of marching. He likes rooms to conduct themselves with the utmost order and decorum. I enjoy large fountains, tree-lined streets, extravagant home puppet theaters, and statues that remind me of the Reverend Mother’s chiseled cheekbones.

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  5. Name: Constance Chatterley, a bonny Scotch trout of a lady, and Clifford Chatterley, baronet and member of the intelligentsia
    Location: In the soulless ugliness of the coal-and-iron Midlands
    Size: Massive enough for Connie to conduct an affair in her third-floor parlour without much trouble
    Years lived in together: Since the autumn of 1920, after the end of all the death and horror (the pity of war, etc.); owned

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  6. Name: Marilla and Matthew Cuthbert, bickering but affectionate siblings d’un certain age Location: Prince Edward Island, Canada, past Barry’s Pond (or the Lake of Shining Waters) and down the Avenue (or the White Way of Delight) Size: Appropriate and sensible Years lived in: Since their youth, which was spent nursing their dying father rather than courting When Matthew and Marilla decided to adopt a little orphan boy from the asylum in Nova Scotia, they had…

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  7. Previously in this series: Great House Therapy: Elizabeth & Darcy’s Neither Formal Nor Falsely Adorned Pad of Privilege This post is generously sponsored by Kaia Dekker, who has been working on creating a comfortable, beautiful keyboard that you can learn more about here. Name: Jay Gatsby (not his real name), former bootlegger turned fantasist turned dead man floating in a pool Location: West Egg, New York; less fashionable than East Egg, though this is a…

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  8. Previously in this series: Great House Therapy: Jane & Edward's Fire-Ravaged Gothic Ruin Name: Elizabeth, feisty heroine who nonetheless fully conforms to patriarchal expectations; Darcy, reformed grouch and scantily clad swimmer in lakes Location: Derbyshire, England Size: Bigger and better than all other houses in the county (ask anyone) Years lived in: Since Darcy was the sweetest-tempered, most generous-hearted boy in the world; owned One year ago, after…

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  9. Susan Harlan's previous work for The Toast can be found here. Names: Jane, former long-suffering governess; Edward, ill-tempered member of the aristocracy Location: Yorkshire, England Size: Enormous enough to effectively represent inherited privilege Years lived in: Probably since William the Conqueror; Owned Jane and Edward’s charming ruin Thornfield Hall may no longer be their primary residence, but it persists as a reminder of the extraordinary beauty of the Great Houses of the English countryside.

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