"That's not a real pushup. Your form is totally wrong." "It's still more than most Americans will ever do. How many pushups have you done today? And guiding your mouse without supporting your elbow on your armrest doesn't count. Sitting kills." "That's why I never sit. Every morning, I throw my computer out of the window and race downstairs to type on the keyboard before it hits the ground." "What she's doing, it looks like sex. I'd…

Previous installments in this series can be found here. Hello, fitness enthusiasts. I had had a rough plan to give you some actual physical work to do for me this week, but the trainer I was charting it out with sprained his ankle playing rugby (dang fitness-obsessed people driving up all our insurance premiums with their costly joint injuries, am I right?) and I am letting him recover. Let's point out that said buddy…