32. They will be condemned eternally, together with their teachers, who believe themselves sure of their salvation because they have letters of pardon.

OUCH BUT FAIR ENOUGH BECAUSE I HATE PRESUMPTION SO IT STANDS TO REASON THAT LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE DOES, "Hi, it's me, Heaven, I...believe everything is in order" fuck outta here

As you doubtlessly recall, the "I'm Goin' to Praiseland" episode of The Simpsons opens with an ice cream festival at the church. Lisa, listing the ice creams at Rev. Lovejoy's table: "Wow, look at all these flavors! Blessed Virgin Berry, Commandmint, Bible Gum…" Rev. Lovejoy, handing her a bowl: "Or, if you prefer, we also have Unitarian ice cream!" Lisa, peering into the bowl: "There's nothing here." Rev. Lovejoy, crossing his arms smugly: "Exactly." The…