Breaking News: the changeling on CNN’s copyediting desk has drawn the circle and begun the incantation.
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In more important baby update coverage, Jane Marie has a wee daughter.
Tags: congratulations jane marie, monarchy, royal baby watch, weird true tales
I’m so stupidly excited about this. I was 9 when William was born, and I figured out that I’d be an old lady by the time HIS heir was born. So it’s truly a miracle that on this historic day that not only I can still read and eat solid foods, BUT I also outlived male primogeniture.
WORD
BABY JANELET OMG
I literally included that as a reward for people willing to click through on another Royal Baby story. Also, I have seen pictures, and she is adorable.
This is the only Royal Baby coverage I care about.
Obviously Jane’s baby is adorable. The real question is: will she marry the impending Royal Baby? (Probably, if that is what she wants. I have total faith in the ability of Jane’s baby to take over the world.)
YAY, JANE-BABY! Does she have an awesome name? I bet she does.
She has an AMAZING name, which I will not mention here unless I receive specific permission.
YAY! I figured you wouldn’t want to reveal the name before Jane, but I just had to know that she was wonderfully monikered.
I clicked through, because like a good disciple, I will read everything you or Mallory post, but to be honest, I don’t actually care about the royal family, although, I get amusement from seeing the reactions of others. BUT JANE BABY, OMG! Have been waiting foreverrrr for the announcement! Give her all of the congratulations for us!
Also, I miss her writing. Will she write for the Toast, if/when she has time?
Babies all around!! I’m excited to see what comes with a royal birth. Prince Harry was born a grand total of 5 months after I was, so I’ve never seen the hubbub before. At least not in a way that I would remember.
Also, congratulations to Jane!!
Yes, same here! I was too young to remember the hubbub around William and Harry being born, so this is all new and exciting.
I’m sure Toasties are all on top of this, but this seems a good place to reiterate how great and wildly misunderstood Hilary Mantel’s piece on Royal Bodies was, mostly because it included the phrase: “I used to think that the interesting issue was whether we should have a monarchy or not. But now I think that question is rather like, should we have pandas or not?”:
But also, the whole thing: http://www.lrb.co.uk/v35/n04/hilary-mantel/royal-…
That article got me to read Wolf Hall. I just desperately needed more of that prose.
Is this where we can post official predictions? ROYAL BABY: OBVIOUSLY A GIRL. Discuss/predict/prophesy.
I’m guessing we’re too far ahead in technological advances to realistically hope for surprise royal twins, yeah?
That’s too bad. Twin changelings would be super (creepy) awesome.
I want it to be a girl SO BADLY.
I really hope it’s a girl, because otherwise I’ll have to make several edits to my Royal Baby poem draft.
Edit: obviously a girl, presumably to be named Diana Elizabeth, hopefully ginger as all get-out.
DIANA ELIZABETH YEEEEEESSS
I think Diana and Elizabeth will both definitely be middle names (along maybe with Carole, Kate’s mom’s name), but I bet William and Kate will want their daughter (please be a girl) to have her own name, without the baggage of the other names.
That would be totally fabulous.
I desperately want it to be a girl. There’s a crazy British conservative (Norman Tebbit?) who predicted that same-sex marriage would lead to a lesbian queen having a baby by sperm donor, and now all I want is for that to happen. ALL HAIL OUR TINY LESBIAN QUEEN AND HER ITTY-BITTY BOW TIE.
If the Royal Baby is a girl, my daughter WILL be her true and legitimate wife.
(dares either baby to object)
So many excellent Royal Baby/other baby combo couples (Nicole, you would make a badass Queen Mum In Law), but possibly the best I’ve heard is Royal Baby/Blue Ivy Carter. One would imagine that the power of an interracial lesbian royal couple would cause the brains of racist bigots everywhere to explode.
For context, such as it is: http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/05/21/norman…
I had been checking Jane’s twitter every couple days for the last week, so thank you for posting this!
Her good news is almost enough for me to forgive her for leaving the ‘pin.
You know, like she and all my favorite writers owe me something or something. Lol!
Guys, I am really sincerely engaged with this news story. Also, my mother is an ardent small-r republican on the monarchy issue in Canada, whereas I am more PUT THE HEREDITARY PEERS BACK IN THE HOUSE OF LORDS, so I’ve been singing “Zadok the Priest” all morning while she grinds her teeth at me.
I support the monarchy as long as their historical powers are restored and they go back to having wars on Tilbury and Barnet and locking each other up in towers again.
With luck we might get the 21st century Stephen and Matilda – if the baby is a girl British law would have her be monarch when her generation’s turn rolls around, but Commonwealth law would skip over her in favor of any little brothers she might have. I’m so looking forward to the chaos 🙂 ( US resident Brit small r republican here!)
Her name is Goldie 🙂 I hope Kate is okay. Giving birth is like whuuuutttttt.
That is so perfect, Jane. I’m sure she is too. Congratulations!
GOLDIE. Well done Jane Marie! Congratulations!
Goldie!!!!!! OMG. The best name ever. Congratulations, Jane!
JANIE, Goldie is beautiful and the name is adorable and I am so so happy for you, yay yay yay yay.
Wooo! Congrats, and what a great name!
Goldie! Awwwwh! So many congratulations!
Congrats! Goldie is an awesome name, she will rock it like a hurricane I am sure.
Aww, that’s adorable! Congrats!!
GOLDIE! That’s the best. Thanks for taking the time to stop by The Toast and let us know! You must be very busy and very very happy! Congratulations!
Small Jane! Yay!
No but seriously how whack must it be to have news media camping out while you’re in labor? I know the royals are basically well-dressed parasites upon the land, but I hope for Kate’s sake she’s able to get in the zone and forget the world. And that all appropriate changeling-related spells and hexes have been cast, of course.
Yeah, and it seems like she had a rough pregnancy, I hope the birth is a bit easier on her!
Seriously. I had to tell my parents and in-laws that they weren’t allowed to come to the hospital until my daughter was born. I can’t imagine trying to focus while a wall of global news media are milling around outside.
I was really excited about the Royal Baby, but then I realized I might need to challenge it to a duel for HRH supremacy, so feeling a little torn right now.
I’m just glad this is classified under Weird True Tales. Because it is weird (the international media seem quite invested, it’s on the top of the NYT page for heavens sake) and true and a tale (the changeling has already been born, the labour is just an eyewash)…
I'm following the Guardian live blog because it's the only live blog worth reading:
"For American readers confused about British baby customs, the Guardian US English to English project is happy to translate any mysterious-sounding habits and practices, such as live-blogging the birth, something most British mothers request these days."
I clicked through, because like a good disciple, I will read everything you or Mallory post, but to be honest, I don't actually care about the royal family, although, I get amusement from seeing the reactions of others. BUT JANE BABY, OMG! Have been waiting foreverrrr for the announcement! Give her all of the congratulations for us!
Also, I miss her writing. Will she write for the Toast, if/when she has time?
It's a BOY! I hope they name it Arthur.
That is now all I want in the world.