15. Showing up at someone’s house to deliver previously-ordered Girl Scout cookies.
14. Requesting toilet paper in a public bathroom.
13. Requesting a tampon in a public bathroom.
12. Email.
11. Facebook message.
10. Facebook chat.
9. Physical letter (tremendous sense of obligation conveyed).
8. Showing up at someone’s house to sell Girl Scout cookies.
7. Gchat.
6. Text.
5. “Do you have a minute for gay marriage?”
4. Cell phone call.
3. Showing up at someone’s house because you were driving by and saw the lights were on.
2. Tapping on someone’s shoulder when you are both frequenting a brothel.
1. Landline call.
Tags: advice, don’t call me, introversion, intrusions, listicles
Also maybe TV ads
My mom lives in a community where people just show up at her house because her light is on or they see her pull into the driveway and know she’s home. It’s my worst nightmare. I will not answer my buzzer if I am not expecting anyone.
Pre-adventure Bilbo gets me: http://gisbourne.tumblr.com/post/44741519928
Ugh, I have a neighbor who will just stop by! The worst is he’ll peer through the glass window on the door, so if you’re in the living room when he rings, you can’t escape.
My parents live within walking distance of my grandma (worst offender!) and two sets of aunts and uncles. Everybody treats their house like a restaurant/public bathroom.
.5) Someone trying to get your attention while you’re in the middle of a timed level in Candy Crush.
what even is a landline
For real, have not had one in probably 6 years.
A landline is that expensive item on your cable/broadband bill that you’d like to get rid of, but can’t because cell service at your house is so piss-poor. Not that I’m bitter or anything.
Ah, see, in my house it’s that useless item that makes our cable/internet bill LESS expensive because cable package deals are bizarre.
Exactly. We don’t even have a phone plugged into it, but we occasionally get caller ID on the TV from mysterious numbers (or from Bank of America, which I enjoy aggressively ignoring)
As my dad calls it, it’s the “people you don’t want to talk to” line. If the thing rings, he knows it’s either a telemarketer or his mother-in-law.
It’s so bizarre and exotic that it almost circles round and becomes charming. Possibly this is only because no-one has the number for ours yet.
Not to be *that guy* but Facebook chats + messages were merged into the same system like, a year ago at least?
Who am I kidding, I’m always *that guy*, I should get *that guy* tattooed on my forehead.
Also, it should definitely be higher. The whole “Seen Sun 10:16 a.m.” thing they do now so you can’t pretend like you haven’t seen/received it? So much pressure!
That thing is bullshit. I just look at my email notification and never click through on FB to avoid that. Also, there are people who willingly enable you to see that they’ve read your text message, which…I don’t understand. Does anyone here do this? EXPLAIN.
I think that is a feature so that parents of teens can keep tabs on their kids. My baby-sitter is the only person I know whose texts show when they have been read – and I assume her mom makes her do that so she can’t be like “oh I would have come home when you asked me to but I totally didn’t see the text!” I have no idea why an adult would enable that feature!
Perfect Human Stephen Fry agrees: http://youtu.be/7xXSw07zrio.
I have historically had a lot of fondness for Stephen Fry, but he seems to be getting less and less perfect by the minute.
Wait….why? Last I read about him, he was calling for Britain to boycott the Winter Olympics over Russia’s treatment of LGBT folks. Did he do something un-perfect since then/
I believe he said something Islamophobic while either agreeing with or defending Richard Dawkins.
My introduction to QI is my favorite souvenir that i brought back from the UK.
I don’t know, #15 sounds awesome, especially if you pre-paid for the cookies and forgot about them and now you’re craving delicious snacks but you don’t have any and you don’t feel like going to the grocery store. Surprise! A cute little girl drops off yummy goodness at your house, saying less than 10 words because she’s shy and you’re a scary grownup. Win-win for everybody, I say.
For that matter, I think #8 sounds pretty great, too! Cookie shopping from the comfort of your own home? Priceless.
In fall, when guys come by my house to offer to rake my leaves. This is annoying because I have to figure out who they are/ignore the door AND because it makes me feel guilty that my leaves are noticeably piled up.
“Nope, the HRC has plenty of money.” That being my usual go-to. I mean, have you seen their headquarters?
One of those “Do you have time for…” people stepped in front of me when I was 8 months pregnant and in the middle of a Braxton Hicks contraction.
It did not go well for him.
The closest I’ve ever come to getting in a fight with a stranger on a sidewalk was when a couple of Greenpeace canvassers wouldn’t get out of my way and THEN called me a bitch for trying to ignore them.
Seriously, why are the Greenpeace people THE WORST?
Once my best friend and I were having the biggest fight of our entire lives- we were fifteen, and I was crying, and she was shouting- and a man from Greenpeace asked if we had a minute. I said “DO WE LOOK LIKE WE HAVE A MINUTE? IF WE HAD A MINUTE I WOULDN’T BE CRYING”. Torn between feeling bad/wondering why chuggers are so awful.
i still have a landline, largely to connect to the building’s door buzzer and to make long-distance phone calls, and i get lots of robots asking me about customer satisfaction or to donate blood, but the other day there was an actual human who wanted to know if any of my furniture needed reupholstering. i thought i had accidentally travelled back in time 20 years. i just hang up on them, but i am going to start to screen.
Our robocalls are always trying to collect debt from people who had our number 5+ years ago, which really seems like an insult-to-injury thing.
When we did have a phone plugged in, that’s mostly what we got – at one point, we were getting computerized calls for someone whose name the computer couldn’t pronounce, and when I finally called them back to tell them that person didn’t have the number anymore, they asked me if I was sure. I was like, “well, I don’t even know who you’re asking for, so yeah, I’m pretty sure they don’t live here. Also, if I was lying, asking me if I’m sure is probably not going to get me to change my mind.”
Haha, you caught me! I AM the person who owes you thousands of dollars, I just told you I wasn’t because I don’t want to pay. Good thing you asked TWICE or I would have gotten away with it!
The last time I had a landline phone, I CONSTANTLY GOT CALLS FROM THE PEOPLE WHO HAD IT BEFORE ME. Like, for a year. I got calls from their doctor, their family members, and ONCE FROM A RESTAURANT WHERE THEY HAD JUST LEFT. I have NO IDEA WHY THEY DID NOT UPDATE THEIR FUCKING NUMBER WITH ANYONE. I eventually assumed they were some kind of grifter.
I had a dream last night that Aaron Tveit tried to break into the bathroom where I was taking a shower, and then denied it to everyone else at the party downstairs, so we ended up getting into a fistfight. That’s pretty intrusive, I think.
I try to be nice to the clipboard people who just try to be friendly, because I know it’s a shit job that I would be terrible at, but when they start getting up in my space, we have problems (once, one of them followed me for almost a block after I told him no; another one told me she liked my earrings and then reached in and touched them)
She did NOT! D:
I try to be nice to them for the same reasons, but I really dislike the guys who act all flirty to try to get me talk to them. That will not endear me to you, sir!
One time I heard a clipboard person start to say “Do you have a minute for–” and when he was interrupted mid-sentence with a “no,” continued, without missing a beat “–a blowjob?” I thought it was funny/terrible. His target (a dude) didn’t even notice, they were so intent on ignoring him.
I am so late to this conversation, but I HAVE to add about the “pro-life” campaigners who used to stand juuuuust off my high school property (enough that they couldn’t be kicked off) and wave fetus pictures in my face. One time I was in a terrible mood and after “no thanks” didn’t work, I spun around and yelled something about being a virgin at her. That worked.
Haha, I used to get such anxiety when people either a) FB chatted me, or b) did NOT FB chat me, that I disabled FB chat.
Being asked for tampons/ TP bothers me not at all. Everyone needs some good Samaritan toiletries sometimes.
Landline calls though… pull up the drawbridge and lower the portcullis because I am NOT HOME.
Right? Even though I don’t use them (cups, amirite?), I still carry pads around in my handbag because who knows if SOMEONE ELSE might need one one day? I also have some in a drawer in my bathroom, and a bin in the bathroom for discreet disposal for the same reason.
Everyone makes fun of my Mary Poppins purse because I have so much stuff in it. You think that when you need something important though!
I refuse to answer the landline because it’s always telemarketers and I never know what to say. Especially since I live in the UK and am American and have no idea what they are talking about. I also refuse to answer the door for this same reason. I make my husband do it when he’s home. The gas people think I am an idiot because I don’t know how to get in my garage. Sorry guys. I feigning ignorance because I am a socially awkward hermit with slight agoraphobia and anxiety.
Text chats like Gchat or Facebook chat don’t bother me because if I didn’t feel like taking them, I’d log out of chat or go invisible or whatever. It’s the phone calls I don’t like. I hate phones.
Text chats like Gchat or Facebook chat don't bother me because if I didn't feel like taking them, I'd log out of chat or go invisible or whatever. It's the phone calls I don't like. I hate phones.
Husband and I are always pissed when the landline rings. Now I feel better about it.
And those charity muggers! I plan my walk to the subway to avoid them.
Today I was woken up at noon – I work overnight – by my intercom buzzing. It was 2 people working for a candidate for mayor. She does NOT get my vote!
Everyone makes fun of my Mary Poppins purse because I have so much stuff in it. You think that when you need something important though!
I refuse to answer the landline because it's always telemarketers and I never know what to say. Especially since I live in the UK and am American and have no idea what they are talking about. I also refuse to answer the door for this same reason. I make my husband do it when he's home. The gas people think I am an idiot because I don't know how to get in my garage. Sorry guys. I feigning ignorance because I am a socially awkward hermit with slight agoraphobia and anxiety.
Is it okay to still feel that way about landline calls when they are at your job? Where people actually need to call you sometimes?
My mother literally has a note that she tapes to her door after work that says “I’m home but I don’t want to see you. Even you [name redacted].” I love her.