What truly mattered on Monday was Mallory’s Freaky Monday: Hated TV Wives Edition, which featured a drawing of a business-suit clad Betty Draper, and the following:

Cersei and Sansa ride horses and confer authoritatively with their quartermasters, while back at King’s Landing Jaime and Tyrion get drunk and undermine each other sexually. Later that night, Sansa climbs into Joffrey’s bedchambers and whispers horrific threats into his ears, promising to personally slice off his nipples and eat them in front of him unless he marries Margaery Tyrell. North of the Wall, Sam and the rest of the Night’s Watchman discover an ancient and ramshackle cabin full of incredibly vicious pregnant virgins. Walder Frey is once again bullied by his numerous wives and daughters into putting on a Spring Fling ball for the entire Riverrun region, where Brienne of Tarth is voted Queen of the Fling.

Tuesday, Kate Angus treated us to a strange and lovely meditation on keys, and we all purchased prints of “Street Harassment in an Ideal World.”

Wednesday was pretty awesome. I did more evil Jane Austen, Will Butler spoke about being blind, and we were all shocked into silent envy by Goth Dog.

On Thursday, we had the newest installment in our DUI series, which was pretty special, and Mallory told me all about how salvation works.

Then, Friday, Ta-Nehisi Coates liked us so nothing else matters.