Famous genius Ta-Nehisi Coates, August 30th, 2013, 8:45am EST:
“The Toast is so ratchet, as the kids would say. Wait, isn’t that what the kids would say? Is that a compliment? My son told me to say that. How about “The Toast is so twerking?” “The Toast is so HAM?” No? Hmm. This is not working out like I planned.”
I hope you’ve had a good time, because we’re dipping the site in carbonite now and walking away gingerly.
Tags: magic, maslow’s lesser-known sixth level of need, ta-nehisi coates, wizardry
so much love. sorry Mallory but this is way more exciting to me than Robert Townsend
THERE’S NO NEED TO BRING DOWN MR. TOWNSEND JUST BECAUSE THIS HAPPENED
No, I’m sure it’s equally as great, maybe even better – it’s just more exciting TO ME.
I read The Toast too and I didn’t even get my own post. Won’t someone please consider the feelings of middle-class, straight, white American cisgender men for once?
Is “ratchet” really a thing people say? I like it.
It’s a thing Ta-Nehisi gets to say.
Ta-Nehisi gets to say all the things.
This. Oh so much this.
It’s a thing my 16 year old students say, but it is definitely not a compliment. It means that you are wrecked and need to get your shit together. Maybe get a manicure and a haircut and stop wearing those shorts that don’t fit you.
I’ve always heard it as a compliment, as in “you’re a hot mess, but nobody can put you in a corner” or “you just wore something so ridiculous but you are making it work.”
It started out as an insult, but a lot of people own it?
This is how I feel most days, about the rest of the internet. Especially the day after the VMAs, when half of the “who wore what” posts are about famous tweens… and as plugged in as I think I am, at the ripe old age of 27, I am completely at a loss. Who… why…? Just give me Harry/Louis fanfic and leave me in a corner/bunk somewhere.
…I’ll be in my bunk.
So rad. I’m like kinda scared I’m not cool enough for this place now, though. 😀
Exactly. “Oh god, Esteemed American Writer is looking at my inane comments! Must.. try.. to be thoughtful or funny.”
blurts out terrible puns
“Whew! Nailed it.”
Right? The PRESSURE.
If we just post lots of gifs of puppies and Ron Swanson, we’ll be okay, right?
I should definitely leave. I’m bringing the tone down.
I’m scared that the Famous People will steal Nicole and Mallory away when The Toast is still in its honeymoon phase. Which would be great for them of course, but…
No, no! You see, we’ve all been here all this time, making terrible puns and being just super weird in general and Ta-Nehisi STILL likes this place! It’s all part of the Toast magic.
I like how you think. We’ll just get smarter and smarter and funnier all the time just hanging out here.
Okay, so which one of us is actually Ta-Nehisi Coates?
Not I.
It’s totally you.
caught.
Not me. I’m not Spartacus either.
So Ta-Nehisi Coates loves The Toast, old-school Simpsons references, and eating oatmeal. (1) how did I not know these things already (2) can I be best friends with him now
I SAW HIM FIRST
Wouldn’t it be great if we could get him to hang with us during Cocktail Hour? We’d have so much to talk about!
Though probably I’d be too self-conscious to say anything to him directly.
Is ham a thing? I feel like ham needs to be a thing.
Sednarea51, stop trying to make ham happen.
God, this place is too ham to function.
Given that ham is an acronym for “hard-ass mother f*cker,” I am now laughing my ass off at the idea of The HAM Toast.
Ima need a recipe for HAM toast now.
Make toast.
Butter toast.
Put slices of ham on toast.
Eat toast with ham.
Optional accompaniments: cheese, mustard.
Buy bread. Let bread go stale. Put bread in the toaster and burn it until it’s a tiny pile of ash. Put all of the ash into a super-compressor thing and turn it into an artificial diamond (kind of like they do with dead relatives). TA-DA, HAM toast.
AHHHHHHHHHHH
Old people (of which I am one) trying to use young people slang will forever remind me of this quote:
“I’m down, I’ve got the 411, and you are not going out and getting jiggy with some boy, I don’t care how dope his ride is. My momma didn’t raise no foo’!”
…someday I am going to write 2000 words on why 10 Things I Hate About You is the best teen movie ever made, and that quote is going to lead.
(Toast + Ta-Nehisi 4eva!)
Please make sure it gets posted on a slow work day so I can spend hous in the comments section.
This. Oh so much this.
EUGH I’m just so sick of these MEN enjoying The Toast.
I like how you think. We'll just get smarter and smarter and funnier all the time just hanging out here.
Ta-Nehisi Coates is one of my favorite columnists and The Toast is rapidly becoming one of my favorite websites. Two great tastes that taste great together!
(That barely made sense, but whatever….it’s Labor Day weekend!)
Ta-Nehisi Coates is one of my favorite columnists and The Toast is rapidly becoming one of my favorite websites. Two great tastes that taste great together!
(That barely made sense, but whatever….it's Labor Day weekend!)
Ooh, fame. Captain Awkward described The Toast as “my new favorite website” last week, which also made me smile.
Man laughing alone with toast