Dear Dreamers,
Now that the days are growing darker at an ever-earlier degree and we’re all heading back to school or adjusting to non-summer Fridays and the impending official end to summer, it’s time to look at dreams just a little bit differently.
When I was a kid I read a story about a boy who realized he was dreaming in the middle of the dream, and in so doing, he found himself able to fly (at least, I think this was a book. Maybe I dreamed it?). Ever since then, I have wanted to have a lucid dreaming experience. Lucid dreaming is essentially being aware you’re in a dream as it’s happening, and being able to control what happens to you because you know you’re in a dream. Just think, you could be facing your dream-bullies or find yourself nakedly pacing the halls of your long-ago high school and you’d say to yourself, “Jen (or whatever your name is), duh, you’re dreaming!” and suddenly be able to conquer your bullies, or find yourself wearing a really great outfit, or making out with Sam Rockwell. Or whatever.
I’ve never really managed to dream lucidly, though, and though my dreams are often weird and fascinating, I’ve never, ever had one in which I was able to fly or make out with Sam Rockwell. But I do desperately want to do both of these things, not only because lucid dreaming sounds so cool, but also because if you can harness the power of your dreams, imagine what else you might be able to do. What could you accomplish in your dreams that you’d never even consider in real life, and how might doing those things in dreams impact what you do in real life? Since we spend an average of six years of our lives dreaming, we might as well make the most of that time, right? Thus, it is with great excitement that I’d like to ask the rest of you to try a little experiment with me. Let’s learn to lucid dream this fall.
In an effort to do this, I have consulted a new book, A Field Guide to Lucid Dreaming: Mastering the Art of Oneironautics, by Dylan Tuccillo, Jared Zeizel, and Thomas Peisel. The authors promise that “We will teach you how to become an oneironaut, a word derived from Greek that means ‘dream navigator.’” This is very exciting, as is the ability to use the word “oneironaut,” in an actual conversation! So, how does it happen?
According to our dream-team, “Typically, lucid dreams are triggered by some sort of inconsistency, something that suddenly causes the dreamer to stop and question his or her reality.” To acknowledge such inconsistencies (because what are dreams if not inconsistent?), and most of all to tell yourself you’re in a dream, you have to prepare yourself. As you drift off to sleep, you must remind yourself of your intent to dream lucidly, repeating to yourself stuff like, “I am lucid and aware in my dream” to “eliminate any doubt that your wish will come true,” and to visualize what that experience will feel and look like. This may sound hokey, but a number of people have their first lucid dream after hearing or reading about it, so consciousness on the topic has an impact on the subconscious. Maybe this post is enough to get us started. Tell yourself you’re going to do it, get sleepy, put your head on a nice, soft pillow. Visualize, dream, wake up, and report back. I’ll do the same.
A few added tips: The writers say that nighttime rituals, going to bed at the same time each night, having comfortable bedding, and not drinking or smoking too terribly much will help one dream lucidly. They also say you should be able to remember your dreams before you attempt to dream lucidly, and the best way to remember them is to write ‘em down as soon as you wake from them. (Back-to-school dream journal time is now.) Oh, and most lucid dreams tend to occur in the early morning, during the last stages of REM sleep, which is handy — no one wants to keep updating their dream journal all night long.
Now, just because we’re working on our dreaming skills doesn’t mean we’re going to abandon dream analysis, no, not in the slightest. Here’s a fun one, from Elmo Keep:
This morning I was awakened, mid-dream, by my cat standing on my chest.
But shortly before this, I was in a shantytown of some kind, where the streets were filled with houses without any back walls, so we could see into everyone’s home.
One of these homes was blaring loudly a message from an answering machine, “We are expecting a call from the President!”
At that moment, Gwyneth Paltrow came around the corner carrying a basket and wearing an tatty green overcoat that reached down to the ground. She was mid-sentence, badmouthing Robert De Niro.
A woman then appeared behind Gwyneth and winked at me very ostentatiously. It was clearly Robert De Niro in drag, wearing a grey wig and bright red lipstick to offset his paisley flower-patterned dress.
I said (addressing Robert De Niro), “Oh! Hello there, young lady!” Then the cat wanted breakfast immediately and I woke up.
What does it MEAN? Better, what was going to happen next? If you know that, it would be great to find out.
Elmo, I can’t say what’s going to happen next, but there’s another dream technique I’ve wanted to do since I can remember, which is to get back in a dream once I’ve woken from it and see what happens next. Can you add to your lucid dreaming preparations the desire to return to this dream, or to the characters within it, and thereby uncover dream-scene 2?
I suggest remembering this dream each night before you sleep and imagining what happens next, then seeing if the dream continues in your subconscious.
As for what it means, I speculate that this is a dream about perceptions and realities, and the near-impossibility of privacy in today’s society. Everyone’s house can be seen into, whether it’s due to the prying eyes of neighbors or the 24-7 news cycle or social media or the ole government, or even because we ourselves share so much. Do you feel your affairs are exposed in a way that makes you a little bit uncomfortable? Are you worried about this as it pertains to friends and family? Has someone been talking behind your back, or have you done that to another?
That you go along with the game, calling De Niro a “young lady” even though he will never see seventy again, makes me wonder if you’re grappling with what you might see as hypocrisies among others, or even in your own self. Of course, in life we may present many different faces to the world, and sometimes that’s OK, as long as we’re aware we’re doing it, and comfortable with what that means. Or maybe you hate Gwyneth Paltrow.
Until next time, when we discuss, among other things, how to know whether you’re in a dream or real life. Tip: I pinch myself. Truth: I am often bruised.
Semi-lucidly yours,
Jen
Tags: advice, controlling your brain with the power of your brain, dreaming with jen doll, dreams, elmo keep, jen doll, lucid dreams, robert deniro in drag
I want to dream about making out with Sam Rockwell!
I NEVER realize I’m dreaming, no matter how unbelievable the events of the dream may be. The closest I’ve come to that was the one and only time I had a recurring dream. In the dream someone was chasing me, and I had this vague feeling of, “I’ve done this before,” and since I knew what was going to happen I figured out a way to outsmart her. But I still didn’t know it was a dream.
I dreamed about flying many times though, mostly when I was a kid. I think the last time was in college.
I still dream about flying regularly – maybe once every few months? – and they are more awesome than I can say. I would rather continue having flying dreams than learn how to lucid dream.
My husband can lucid dream – or at least, semi-lucid dream. He has awareness that he is dreaming and a certain amount of control within his dreams, but if he tries to change the general *theme* of his dreams he wakes up.
This has always fascinated me! I get awareness that I am in a dream, but that’s it. And that is frequently a horrifying experience where all these awful things are happening to me and I’m aware they aren’t real, yet I can’t even wake myself up. And even if I do, I slip back into the same dream.
THe other night I dreamed that I sneaked on board a pirate ship, dressed as a man, and took over the captaincy. I took over the captaincy by getting naked in front of the crew and strutting around, proud, in the body I’d had when I was 17. I soon realised I had the body I did now, yet it didn’t stop the (mixed gender) crew from deciding I was their new captain. I took the old captain down by taking her into the booze store (it looked like the alcohol aisle of a supermarket, with bright white light and price labels on the shelves) so she couldn;t escape. I was still naked, but now I was wearing her hat. I bashed her face into the shelves until all her teeth were on the floor.
Then, like the dreamer whopse dream you discuss, my cat woke me up.
I can sometimes do the semi-lucid thing too. Usually results in me waking up, because there are few times in a dream when it is appropriate to shout, “I’m dreaming! THAT MEANS I CAN FLY!” without changing the tenor of the dream irreparably. The last time I managed to keep my excitement in check a bit, so it lasted longer.
I had some success in identifying when I was dreaming by: counting my fingers (if I can’t count them, I’m dreaming); turning light switches on and off (doesn’t always work, since this happens in real life); checking the time twice in rapid succession to see if the numbers are the same (works best if I’m looking at a clock, rather than a phone, since my phone is so awful in real life.)
I also once managed to realize I was dreaming by reading my tarot in the dream? When the cards changed, I knew it wasn’t real. That was a good one.
I’m usually able to identify that I’m dreaming when dream-me is experiencing something stressful or scary. I make myself “wake up” within that dream, and then just…. skip the stressful part, and dive back in later. (i.e. “all of a sudden I’m taking a final exam but didn’t study/have been out of school for 5 years so why is this happening/etc ahhh!! OK, this is a dream. I’ll just wake up and jump back in once the exam period has passed.”) At no point do I actually wake up, though – it’s like I open a (dream)door and step out into the (dream)lobby for a bit to wait it out.
Is that lucid dreaming? semi-lucid dreaming?
Whenever it’s been too busy at work I have dreams that I live with my coworkers in a military-style compound.
Have never lucid-dreamed that I can remember. What a cool challenge!
I’ve never managed to control a dream, but I do quite often realise I’m dreaming when something totaly bonkers happens and my suspension of disbelief is shattered even in my dream. Not that long ago I dreamed I was a turtle, on some kind of questy thing through a jungle with a tiger as my companion, and I realised it was a dream when we had to cross a big grassy meadow, and I thought ‘how am I going to get over this, I’m a turtle’ and then realised that obviously it must be a dream (since I’m not typing this with flippers). The quest carried on for a fair while though.
I have waking dreams of making out with Sam Rockwell. What a babe.
I had an obsession with learning to lucid dream in high school, brought on by my AP Psych class. I read books that included tips to keep you asleep once you realize you’re dreaming, like “look at your hands” or “spin around and study your surroundings.” But that almost never worked – as soon as I realize I’m dreaming, I wake up, to this day.
I also instantly wake up the second I “die” in a dream – kind of creepy. I always wake up feeling like I’ve escaped death.
Yes, I came down to comments to say “look at your hands” – my boyfriend learned this in a class and told me, and it’s worked for me a few times, though I get the sense that I could make it happen more consistently if I made an effort. I think it’s really about establishing a trigger that shocks your dreaming mind back into some kind of consciousness; it doesn’t really matter what that trigger is, as long as it’s something simple that will force you to recognize that you’re asleep. Establishing that trigger can have weird unintended consequences though – a few weeks ago I INADVERTENTLY looked at my hands during a dream – like, the looking-at-the-hands was a part of the narrative of the dream, not a choice, but then somehow I started unintentionally controlling the dream with negative thoughts – i.e., I thought, “This situation could only be worse if there were a spider,” and there was a spider, and then I thought, “This could only get scarier if that spider were on my face” and then it was on my face. UGH.
The closest I ever got to lucid dreaming was once when I had a vague suspicion that it might be a dream, pinched myself, and dreamt that it hurt, which convinced me that I was not in fact dreaming.
I semi-lucid dream all the time! I generally use it to my advantage–if something’s getting too scary, I just decide that no, that scary guy chasing me actually can’t get through the door I just ran through, it’s locked now, and similar small changes. I can also fully-lucid dream every now and then, but if I try to change things too much I wake up.
The only thing that really seems to affect how often I lucid dream is whether or not I’ve been keeping a dream journal. Writing down my dreams right after I wake up leads to remembering way more of them leads to realizing I’m dreaming while dreaming. This also worked for a friend of mine (although she had to lucid dream several times before the excitement of “OH GOSH I’M IN A DREAM” stopped waking her up).
Jen, you have given much to think about, admittedly some of it worrying! I never realised that so much time on Twitter could affect my subconscious in this way, but I think you are correct. More so with Gwyneth Paltrow. I shall become a dedicated oneironaut in the hopes of returning to The Scene. Thank you so much! E
Jen, you have given much to think about, admittedly some of it worrying! I never realised that so much time on Twitter could affect my subconscious in this way, but I think you are correct. More so with Gwyneth Paltrow. I shall become a dedicated oneironaut in the hopes of returning to The Scene. Thank you so much! E
I still dream about flying regularly – maybe once every few months? – and they are more awesome than I can say. I would rather continue having flying dreams than learn how to lucid dream.
I lucid dream constantly and I hate it. I feel like I never actually get any rest.
I never knew lucid dreaming was out of the ordinary until a conversation with my friend a few years ago where he said, “Ugh. I want to be able to lucid dream.” and I was like, “Lucid dreaming? What is that?” and he said “It’s when you are aware of the fact that you’re dreaming and you can control it and stuff. Some people can do it.” and my mind was BLOWN because I’ve always done that and just assumed everyone could. I didn’t know it was a special skill with its own name.
I’m only lucid for probably like 1/4 of my dreams. And yeah it’s usually just little things. “this is too scary, I’m going to fly away now.” “I don’t like this. I’m going to turn it into a flying dream.” “Ugh I’m bored. Let’s make this a flying dream.”
Sometimes I’ll realize I’m dreaming and make it a little more fun or have a little more sex or keep myself from waking up, or wake myself up.
And yes, when I journal dreams they are lucid more often.
yeah i was gonna say–sleep paralysis people lucid dream a lot! (on the other hand, if given the choice i would probably choose to be one of the people who has experienced neither, or at least been given advance warning about what sleep paralysis is like.)