Bill & TED’s Talks:
The Transformative Power of Phone Booths
How To Be Your Most Excellent Self
Sustainable Development The Genghis Khan Way
The Dao of Dude
Beneath Our Hats: Napoleon Bonaparte and Abraham Lincoln
On Partying
The Unbearable Lightness of Bogus
Joan Of Arc Presents: Stop, Drop and Roll
Socrates: Man, Method, Crate
Statistical Term, Celebrity Baby Name or Yiddish?
Anova
Arima
Chaid
Farb
Gytta
Halycon
Kenzo
Likert
Logit
Matkes
Nakoa
Plyoot
Shnur
Umruik
Zolt
Also Rejected:
Who Wore It Better: Rae Dawn Chong or Ban Ki-Moon?
Top Ten “Nice Glasses, Ira” Ira Glass Comebacks
Please Stop Calling Me Al. By, Paul Simon
Things Not Made Jauntier by the Addition of a Fascinator
Acceptable “It’s Not Rocket Science” Jokes That You Can Use When Running Into An Astronaut at Home Depot
Haircuts That Could Be Interpreted As Political Statements That Are Actually The Result of Barber Ineptitude Or Tiki Barber
Other Female Body Parts That Would Have Liked To Have Had Monologues, Thank You Very Much
Things That Sound Like They Should Be Spreadable, But Aren’t
Places in Florida Cousin Tammy Hopes To See Before It’s Too Late
Four More Reasons Why Scratch-N-Sniff Bowling Never Really Took Off
Relatives My Jewish Grandmother Has Compared To Hitler. Abridged
State Rankings By Age At Which Boys Realize They Can Write The Word Boobs On A Calculator
New Songs From the ‘Free To Be You And Me’ Elizabethan Remake By Marlo Thomas and Christopher Marlowe
Memorable Lines From The Urologist Manifesto ‘Anti-Diuretic: Blame The Juice’
He Scrolled Through Her Gently Like An IPod, And Other Popular Similes Used In Steve Wozniak Erotic Fan Fiction
Least Frequented Stops For A Streetcar Named Desire
CraigSchindler’sList
List of Drinks Found on the Menu of Cocktail Hotspot ‘Mixed-Up By Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler’
Tags: humor, mcsweeneys, mindi claire, rejection
“Please Stop Calling Me Al. By, Paul Simon”: I desire this greatly.
This means he won’t really be my long-lost pal, doesn’t it?
He might still call you Betty, though.
I am OK with that.
I’d go to all the Bill & TED talks.
“Abridged”
killin it 🙂
Kenzo is a legit and decently common Japanese name! Celebrity baby name it may be, but damn, so is “Sarah,” by that standard.
(You made my poor friend Kenzo sad and indignant.)
If I ever were to go to a cocktail hotspot, it would only be to Mixed-Up By Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler.
As a matter of fact, anyone now trying to convince me to go to a cocktail hotspot (the list… isn’t long) will now have to suffer through me turning them down because of their hotspot’s inevitable failure of a name.
Recently submitted a selected filmography of Seth Green with one-line descriptions of the character he played in each movie. They did not accept my submission.
I’ve rarely found a McSweeney’s list funny but these are hilarious!
I've rarely found a McSweeney's list funny but these are hilarious!
One of mine: http://facebook.com/notes/eamon-doyle/hedonic-sat….