Dear Applicant,
Thank you for submitting your recent inquiry. According to our records, on September 27th, you interrupted a conversation with your request: “Look, if I could just play devil’s advocate for a second here…”
It’s with very real regret that we must inform you that your petition to play devil’s advocate has been denied. Thank you for your interest in the devil’s advocate position; we realize that this is disappointing and would like to assure you that your candidacy was considered very carefully. As you know, we receive an overwhelming number of requests to play devil’s advocate every day, and while we would like to accommodate them all, we simply don’t have the resources to do so.
We appreciate the effort and thought that went into your request to play devil’s advocate. Please know that your candidacy received serious, thorough consideration. For this reason, we will be unable to consider any appeals to our decision.
Our records indicate that you have requested to play devil’s advocate for either “just a second here” or “just a minute here” over fourteen times in the last financial quarter. While we appreciate your enthusiasm, priority must be given to those who have not yet played the position. We would like to commend you for the excellent work you have done in the past year arguing for positions you have no real interest or stake in promoting, including:
- Affirmative Action: Who’s the Real Minority Here?
- Maybe Men Score Better In Math For A Reason
- Well, They Don’t Have To Live Here
- I Think You’re Taking This Too Personally
- Would It Be So Bad If They Did Die?
- If You Could Just Try To See It Objectively, Like Me
It is our hope that future holders of the devil’s advocate position will be able to carry on your legacy: smiling as they argue for positions they only half-believe themselves with people who are attempting to discuss something sincerely and in good faith.
We wish you the best of luck in your ensuing conversation and have every confidence in your ability to find something to talk about. We now consider this matter closed.
All best,
Devil’s Advocacy Group
Tags: devil’s advocate, request denied
Because I Possess Neither Race Nor Gender, And Am Therefore The Only Unbiased One In This Discussion
THANK you for pointing that out because those two dudes are delightful.
Also, sorry if I appear to be following you around the Toast today, it's not intentional!
{or IS it???? mwah ha ha}
I love how Left Dude throws his head back, and Middle Dude is all, "aww, isn't that cute?"
I don't mind if you follow me, but you have to give me a cookie.
When I do it, it's called "angel's advocate"
that actually happened to me once on a dance floor :/
Please fit this sentiment on a business card somehow and sell said cards to me immediately.
tl;dr; I'm emotionally attached to my position, therefore you shouldn't argue with me.
The thing to remember when "playing Devil's Advocate" is that YOU are actually advocating THE DEVIL. That guy who is evil as fuck, you know? Maybe he shouldn't have an advocate. And if he needs to, it doesn't need to be you. Unless you WANT. Then you're actually just an asshole.
It's not complex at all. If the problem were that they were afraid women were forced to wear it, then they would pass a law against women being forced to wear a naqib. Not a law against wearing naqibs, altogether.
Don't forget "No No No, You're Overthinking This."
Haha! Brilliant.
I've seen enough Muslimah bloggers stating they want to wear niqab, and they lived places like the UK or US, to believe it's definitely a choice in some cases. Nice thing about living in the West is they have the legal option of giving it up if they want to, and plenty of Islamophobes happy to shelter them if their families harass them for it.
LOL a devil's advocate argument regarding the use of the term devil's advocate. This is way too meta.
"But wait! Haven't you considered the fact that I almost never hear devil's advocate arguments used in the context you're describing, but in this completely benign and constructive context? I almost never experience devil's advocate arguments as you're describing them, so this whole thing must be bullshit."
Holy crap. This exact phrasing is now going into my bag of argument refutations for future discussions. It's so simple, but I've never seen it stated in quite this way.
My dad's response to that is still the best, "What in the hell makes you think the Devil needs an advocate? Where *do* you think all the lawyers go when they die?"
Pop's got flair.
The math one is interesting. At least when I was in elementary and high school, it was generally the GIRLS who got higher marks. I couldn't understand math at all. I never did get a convincing argument for why 2+2=4, and I asked for nearly fifteen years.
It's just an expression that means to argue for the unpopular position, it doesn't literally mean that you're arguing for the devil.
Let me play Devil's Advocate here and just point out that the fact that so many people have found this amusing and relevant may actually contradict your assertion that the scenario satirized above is, in fact, "bullshit."