Jane Air
“Thanks for flying Jane Air. Are you escaping for business or for pleasure? Will you be stowing any wives today?”
King LearJet
“Welcome to LearJet. Are you traveling alone, or like two birds i’the cage?”
The Quiet American Airlines
“One has to take sides, if one is to remain human. Your side is just past the attendant’s station, on the right-hand side of the plane.”
All Quiet On The SouthWestern Air Front
“Will members of Group A, 1-36 please prepare to go over the top.”
Lufthansel and Gretel
“There aren’t enough breadcrumbs in the world for you to find your way home.”
The Mayor of CastAirBridge Airlines
“Serving the many airports of Wessex County daily.”
Alaskandal in Bohemia Airlines
“Such a pity that you are not on our level.”
To the Virgin Airlines, To Make Much of Time
“Old Time is still a-flying, and so are we.”
The Spirit of the Age Airlines
“We will admit that this one is a stretch.”
Jet Bluest Eye
“Here is the plane. The plane has a red door. Come into the plane. Fly, plane, fly. Watch the plane fly to a pretty place. Will the plane land in the pretty place? Crash, plane, crash.”
Goodnight Plane
“Please give your attention to the quiet old ladies whispering hush.”
Just So Airways
“O my beloved and the delight of my eyes, thanks for flying with us.”
Dublin Air
“In the event of an emergency, the oxygen masks will fall softly on all the living and the dead.”
Love the Dublin one!
JANE AIR.
JANE. AIR.
I would totally watch “Con Eyre.”
“Put… the wife… back… in the attic.”
Wuthering Heights Glider Transport
“Nothing but the wind in your ears.”
Mallory Ortberg, I love you so much.
Delta of Venus Airlines:
“Only the united beat of sex and heart together can qualify you for the mile-high club.”
Delta of Venus Airlines:
“Only the united beat of sex and heart together can qualify you for the mile-high club.”
Pequod Airlines — “And this is Ishmael and I want to welcome aboard our captain this evening, Ahab. Just a word of warning, there will be turbulence ahead as we approach New Bedford due to the heft of our harpoons . If you could please turn your attention to the flight crew as we prepare for departure, they will be providing you with safety information so that we may avoid the jaws like enormous shears which have the potential to bite the craft completely in twain.”
Man, somebody beat me to the Delta of Venus Airlines one. Well played, Jess Davis.
“Thank you for flying Yellow Wallpapair. In the event of an emergency, John says the very worst thing you can do is think about your condition, and John is so very wise and loves you so!”
"Thank you for flying Yellow Wallpapair. In the event of an emergency, John says the very worst thing you can do is think about your condition, and John is so very wise and loves you so!"
Draculairlines: "Leave these others and fly to me. My Business Class cabin is hungry for you."
VIRGIN(IA WOLFE TO THE LIGHTHOUSE) AIR -“They will have landed,” and she felt that she had been right. [Our “on time” arrival stats are super!”] They had not needed to speak. They had been thinking the same things [“Yes, I would like BOTH pretzels and peanuts with my Diet Coke!]
Plane and Prejudice – “It is a truth universally acknowledged that travelers in search of a destination must pay their baggage fees.”