Fox 2000 just announced that they are developing a sequel to the 1993 hit/perennial Oscar winner Mrs. Doubtfire, which will finally answer the burning questions I’ve been harboring since I was six. Did the Hillards ever reconcile? Whatever became of the Euphegenia’s House TV series? Is there any significance to the fact that Natalie’s favorite book character and Miranda’s love interest are both named Stuart? (I hope not.)

I love Mrs. Doubtfire. I really do. I find it to be a charming, sad, honest portrayal of a family going through divorce – and the lengths a parent will go to not to lose their kids. It’s hilarious (“No – he was hit by a Guinness truck”) and smart (“And sometimes they don’t, dear”) and it features Sally Field having a legitimate mental breakdown in the middle of the only restaurant in their town, Bridges (“The whole time – THE WHOLE TIME!”)

Now, here are my suggestions for the plot of Mrs. Doubtfire 2:

1. Chris gets high freshman year of college and thinks about his childhood. “I mean, when you think about it, aren’t we all wearing a latex mask and a body suit?” he says.

2. Miranda Hillard descends into paranoia-fueled madness when she realizes she can never have a relationship with someone without wondering if they’re secretly Daniel.

3. A party wouldn’t be a party without a surprise guest! But it’s always Mrs. Doubtfire, and the joke soon sours.

4. Natalie, the youngest girl, looking to date someone who reminds her of her oft-absent father, goes through an ‘old lady’ college phase.

5. The public firing of Jonathan Lundy, for a well-publicized misstep in dedicating significant airtime to a show about an old drag queen talking to a monkey.

6. Stuart Dunmire and Miranda Hillard are married happily for several years, until the day she wakes up to discover him applying a leather face mask to his robot interior.

7. Stuart Dunmire and Miranda Hillard are married happily for several years, until the day his machine is finally ready to harvest the children’s youth to feed his own immortality.

8. Stuart Dunmire grows old.

9. Mrs. Sellner sees Daniel Hillard’s rather unappealing sister on national television. “Her?” she thinks.

10. Daniel Hillard realizes after several years that he can no longer take the Mrs. Doubtfire costume off. Or was he ever Daniel Hillard at all?