Never forget Lisa Hanawalt’s illustrated review of War Horse:
I know nothing is going to happen at this point, and it’s been well over a decade, but I really do think that the guy who actually killed Kirsty MacColl (kisses fingers, gestures towards Kirsty MacColl in heaven) got away with it.
(or)
(or, being adorably bad at music videos)
If a woman asks for an extra patty on her cheeseburger, there is no need to say “you know that’s two-thirds of a pound of meat, right?” SHE KNOWS, thnx. #butcharms4lyfe
bitches gotta eattttt:
it would’ve been all good if it had been a motherfucking tuesday. on a tuesday i could’ve gotten a reservation for earlier than nine goddamned thirty and would’ve already been home in bed flossing the cauliflower fritters out of my teeth by the time jimmy fallon came on. god, that is the buttery shit about going out during the week, the fact that you can get a four-top at the most happening shit and still get nine hours of sleep before work. saturdays are for laying around all day texting “brunch?” to every bitch in your phone while reading all the magazines piled next to the toilet in your bathroom. saturdays are for weird shit like cleaning your makeup brushes and buying vegetables at the farmers market that you have no intention of ever cooking. before you had chin hair saturdays were for sleeping until nightfall then dragging your ass to the disco on stilts, but now that you have a savings account you’re all “can’t we just watch this top chef marathon in our pajamas and get a pizza!?” in my obama voice: YES WE CAN.
I am doing this link roundup on Sunday night, so I’m completely confident that by the time you read it, national outrage over the manifested misogny of the UCSB shooter will have resulted in a golden age of self-examination and better conduct for all.
This piece by a dad about his son’s Down Syndrome and attempt to find employment is really amazing, and also makes you think about how difficult navigating these situations has to be for families with fewer resources and less ability to work the system over for all it’s worth:
What is Jamie capable of doing for a living? Our first checklist filled us with despair: factory work, nope; food service, nope (not fast enough); hotel maid service, nope; machine and auto repair, nope. (Though Jamie expressed interest in auto repair — not a moment of astonishing self-awareness.) With one agency, Jamie had two CBWAs followed by detailed five-page write-ups: one doing setup for conferences and meetings (tables, chairs, A/V), the other doing shelving at a supermarket. Neither went well. He had trouble stacking chairs, dealing with the duct tape for the A/V setup, and attaching skirts to tables. At the supermarket he had trouble with the U-boat, the device that carts dozens of boxes out into the aisles — and besides, they were only hiring graveyard shift.
The result? For two months, it was basically YouTube in the basement, as Jamie gradually realized (with what I think was a kind of horror) that I hadn’t been kidding about that part. Finally, the local sheltered workshop for people with disabilities offered him an 8:30-2:30 slot twice a week — and then three times a week. On top of that, I sent out a few emails and got him an afternoon of volunteering once a week at the children’s museum. And most recently, another agency set up a six-month trial volunteering at the Y, doing janitorial work twice a week in two-and-a-half-hour shifts. If the trial goes well, we are told, he will be hired. They like him enormously at the Y. The only question is whether he will learn how to do the vacuuming, sweeping and cleaning on his own; right now, the people at his agency are very generously and carefully supervising him minute by minute.
Did you miss “Fairy Tales Are Women’s Tales” yesterday? Don’t!
This is for you weirdos who are always talking about how you find Jeff Goldblum sexy.
Darwin’s kids doodled on his Origins of Species manuscript! I bet he was a total Dad about it.
