Katherine Perry’s last self-help quiz for The Toast can be found here.
Do you like your job?
- It’s fine
- Not really.
- No.
- Yesssss!
Do you dig your occupation?
- It’s fine.
- Not really.
- No.
- Yesssssss!
Do you fancy your position?
- No.
- No.
- Shut up.
- Shut up.
Do you take a shine to your métier?
- Eh.
- Meh.
- Mmmmmrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhh.
- !!!!
Do you groove on the task to which you are appointed?
- I neither enjoy nor disenjoy it.
- Nay.
- I pray thee, understand the negatron that issues from my lips!
- Aye, ‘tis as sweet as a kiss from a babe.
Do you cherish your line of work?
- Faintly.
- Nope.
- Ix-nay.
- Indeed!
Do you relish your vocation?
- Moderately.
- Thumbs down.
- Two thumbs down.
- Thumbs up!
Do you hanker to put your nose to the grindstone?
- Eh.
- Meh.
- Mmmmmrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhh.
- !!!!
Do you have scoliosis?
- Not sure.
- Maybe.
- Possibly.
- Not sure?
Restless legs?
- Not sure.
- Like, the syndrome?
- Maybe?
- I sure do, ‘cause I gotta DANCE to celebrate my awesome J-O-B!!!!
***
Results:
Mostly A’s: You are probably indifferent to your job.
Mostly B’s: You probably complain about needing a haircut for weeks before actually getting one. Also, get a new job.
Mostly C’s: You hate your job.
Mostly D’s: Your job SUX, drone! Just kidding. You like your job!
Tags: business, humor, katherine perry, quizzes, self-help
Related Posts
Quiz: What Color Is Your Parachute? 
“Is This Working?”: Advice On Promotions and Leaves of Absence
Which Party Down Character Are You?
Quiz: Who Were You In High School?
How Long Could You Survive In Gary Paulsen’s Hatchet?
If We Treated Other Life-Cycle Benchmarks The Way We Treated Getting Married And Having Kids
Last month: Mostly As
This month: Mostly Ds
Quitting! After 20 years! Best thing ever!
Good for you! Congratulations.
Uuuuuugh I need a job.
In the words of Saint Morrissey: “I was looking for a job and then I found a job….” But seriously, as much as I hate my job, I would hate not having a job way more, which makes me feel like I should be grateful for my job, which makes me not seriously look for another job while resenting my current job, lather rinse repeat.
Ha! My last day at my job is tomorrow and I do not have another job lined up and I do not want this career anymore (I’m 30, been at it for 8-ish years.)
I want to become a professional genealogist and I’m really not sure how to go about that/if it’s even plausible, so hmu genealogy-interested Toasties!
My mum is a professional genealogist, and she has a history degree plus about 10 years experience working in a records office, if that helps.
Oooh! Cool! In the U.S. (and I’m guessing elsewhere) there’s no traditional educational/work path to becoming a freelance professional genealogist, although there are board certifications and credentials you can acquire with national professional groups. I don’t know exactly how I can make this happen for myself, but I’m thinking of starting by interning or volunteering with the local genealogical society. Obviously I’ve worked through my own family tree extensively, so I’m not a total novice.
Yeah, there’s no special qualifications here and anyone cans et themselves up as one. In general though, to be good at it you need experience working with records and some kind of history qualification.
The genealogical society is a good idea. Also see if any local geneaologists need an assistant.
That’s a great suggestion, thank you!
You could go the librarian route, although I think dedicated genealogy librarian jobs are pretty rare. Generally you see public librarians working a few shifts in the local history room, or even librarians at the state library taking turns at the genealogy desk.
My last day is tomorrow, too! (I’m 29! Been at it for four-ish years! Do not want to continue!)
Sending you high fives and good vibes!
You can also contact local and state archives and let them know that you’re interested in being on their freelance researcher list with a specialization in genealogy. I worked as a reference archivist at a national archives and when we received a request that would require in-depth research beyond the two-hour limit we could provide, we’d refer clients to the freelancer list. Usually there’s a vetting process to get on the list, but I’m not sure what kind of credentials you’d have to supply.
What a great suggestion, thank you!
I’m doing my job right now. Yes, I’m at the ready. Any minute now. Or, maybe in another hour. Tomorrow? Thank the stars I don’t have to leave the house to go to work. I’d have to get dressed or something.
Now I have Down For Whatever stuck in my head.
i turn down for whatever
I have to fill out my performance self-review today and uuuuuuuuuuuugh why the fuck do they put us through this torture. It gives me fucking panic attacks and I’ve been putting it off for a week. Just tell me what fucking kind of job I’m doing. And WHYYYYYYYYYY do I have to sit with you while you read off my performance review. Just e-mail it to me and I’ll go hide and read it and cry and/or be relieved and then chase a xanax with a few dozen drinks and then we’ll do it again in six months.
I got sick of that review shit a decade ago and resolved to make the process easier *for me*. I keep a Word doc on my work computer that I add phrases to whenever they occur to me. Sometimes they are phrases I overhear or are said to me, e.g., “RoseCamelia got the cable company to sign off on that easement on time. She’s a miracle worker.” Then at review time I copy-paste from that doc, do some quick and dirty editing, and submit the damn thing with as little time and effort as possible. And yes, I follow up with bourbon. Have not needed the diazepam since adopting this attitude/technique.
Six months from now, don’t be afraid to copy-paste from today’s review. No one ever checks. Your supervisor hates this process as much as you do.
I’d buy you a drink tonight if I could.
This! Yes! I keep all this stuff in something I call “the blush file.” So so so helpful. And bonus! Whenever I’m feeling particularly down about myself or my job, I just open it and look at the nice things people have said about me through the year. Which, THANK GOD it’s only once a year. A semi-annual review would be super annoying. Ugh.
In a corporate business setting, would it not be best to write your self-review like a sociopath, or at least a malignant narcissist? Make whoever reads it feel completely lacking in redeemable qualities— hit hard, hit fast, but make it look like praise to throw them off balance to the degree that they can’t trust themselves with paper clips anymore.
Project your totally amaze-balls superiority to the outer regions of the universe. You are the most necessary element in the business— your coworkers cannot live, breathe, or go to the bathroom without you. You own their organs. Not causing them cascading organ failure is a gift they should cherish. Don’t let them forget that you could shut down their kidneys with a mean wink and a small pouch of rat poison. They know this, but are too timid to admit it to themselves. Make it visceral and terrifying so that they appreciate your contributions, and so that they understand that their lives depend on your daily horoscope; but it’s nothing personal and you don’ t want to hear anymore whining about the latest “accident”. Get over it, already!
The very thought of you being anything shy of tickled pink over the response to your self-review should make them shudder until they give you something valuable just for being you.
Ha! I wish I could do that. It was hard enough for me not to write “I’m sorry I suck so much and I’m sad all the time but I’ve lost 3 good friends and my two remaining grandparents this year so far and at least I show up when I’m not quarantined from being exposed to meningitis”.
Absolutely the correct attitude. But you have more energy and patience than I have. I do the minimum because I prefer to believe the review document will get only a cursory glance. Maybe I’m lazy.
Perish the thought, RoseCamelia! You’re simply incubating as any genius must.
This was the best idea, thank you! I basically just copied my manager’s notes from end of year last year and added the very little I got done in the last 6 months.
I like my job ok but I worry constantly, to a truly obsessive degree, what I should do about my career long-term. Right now my industry is expanding and I could probably move up in a couple of years pretty easily (though after maybe one more step up, that would be it for advancement–it’s pretty flat). But there are already warning signals about robots taking our jobs. This is my third career area and I fled the first two because they were dying. But will this one die? Should I try to find a robot-proof tech job? Will the robots end up taking even whatever tech job I could possibly get into? Will they just take all the jobs? I don’t want to be entry-level again. But what if I get a ways into my current career, and then the industry disappears, and then it would be basically impossible to start over? And so on.
A career can be like an investment: Diversify. Continually add to your portfolio of skills, particularly unrelated skills. That way you can swing whichever way the technology and economy shift in the future.
Don’t think of any of it as starting over. We only get jobs where we encounter opportunity. We seldom get to choose. Just keep learning new things that appeal to your strengths so you will be ready to strike when opportunity arises.
Remember, tomorrow’s jobs and industries do not exist today. You cannot prepare for them specifically, as people could when our grandparents were young and technology grew at a slower rate.
My two cents. Only food for thought. Not to be taken as Serious Wisdom TM.
I was considering a mid-life career change until I injured my back a couple weeks ago and was reminded of my workplace’s stellar sick leave policy. And then my position got reclassified so I now earn more vacation time per pay period. And today I got notice that I’m getting a raise starting next month. So, yeah. I’m good. Staying here a while longer, thanks.
More vacation and a raise! Congratulations. You deserve it and more.
Thanks! I admit to spending a lot of time screwing around on the internet, but I am really good at my job.
I love my profession (nurse) but I really kinda hate my job. I am a home care nurse in the Bronx and we are being stretched so thin right now it’s absolutely criminal. Plus, as of July 1st Medicaid cut home health aid hours for so many patients and none of them were given notice. So all my patients are left with gaping holes in their care with no way to fill the gap. As nurses we are the gatekeeper of sorts for all these services but I can only do so much (like put in multiple requests for extra hours, for social work, for physical therapy) knowing full well much of it will be denied. It’s so frustrating. And the work keeps piling up. And the patients keep getting sicker.
Ouch. That’s rough. My mother was a nurse for decades before she got burned out–and, like you say, it wasn’t the actual sick people that were the worst. It was dealing with the bureaucracy of the broken insurance system and the hypocrisy of health care.
FWIW, I respect the hell out of good people who continue to work in healthcare. You all are rock stars.
Nurses like your mom are the real rock stars! I don’t know if I can give a single decade of my life to this career (only 6 years in) let alone multiple decades.
I’m an in-home caregiver, but am only working part-time as a live-in caregiver and have a pension. Not paying rent and bills is a real boon. Oregon was the first state in the U.S. to have in-home caregivers and they do a pretty good job of it. The SEIU is making it better, too. It isn’t “unskilled labor”, at all.
I’m sorry it sucks so much for ya’ right now, just wanna say that I have enjoyed working with nurses, two of my sisters are nurses, and you all deserve more. Your reliability and consistency amazes me.
Home health care providers are essential and highly skilled. The home health aides are some of the hardest working and most reliable people I come across in my work. Seriously, YOUR reliability and consistency amaze me. It is such a relief when my patients have good, responsible and caring care-givers. You are the ones truly managing a person’s health day-to-day.
I’m hoping NYS will catch up to Oregon someday in terms of fair compensation for home health workers. They just won the right to be paid more for overtime. And guess what? All the agencies are now scrambling to prevent their employees from working any overtime. It’s disheartening.
We both rock, don’t we?
Well, Oregon and the state agency we work with isn’t quite paradise. If a client has an emergency when the caregiver’s hours are up, then the agency recommends that we leave them. What kind of caregiver would do that? So we tell our client in crisis that we’ll put this time on the next voucher.
I’m wracked with guilt over the fact that I’m looking at new opportunities because leaving will really, really put my current job in a major bind. But I just can not deal with the thought of being here for a moment longer than necessary.
On the other hand, what if this job is the best that it gets and everything else ends up being just as bad or worse? What if my mum is right when she says “Hate your job, love your career”? What if I’m making a huge mistake.
Man I am not built for major life changes.
It’s one thing to move on if you really really really hate what you’re doing and you have other opportunities. But I’m of the very firm opinion that it’s not necessary (or even realistic) to love what you do for a living. I do what I do for a living so I can enjoy the parts of my life that I don’t spend in my office. The whole “LOVE WHAT YOU DO” movement can die in a fire as far as I’m concerned.
Yep, it’s a balancing act. If you hate your job so much that it is making you miserable and seeping into other aspects of your life, it is time for a new one. If you just feel “meh” about your job, I think it is smart to keep an eye open for more fulfilling/higher paying/better opportunities, but it isn’t a reason to overthrow your life if you don’t have those opportunities. It’s 40 hours a week out of your life, so you shouldn’t be miserable, but I don’t think it is reasonable to expect everyone to find a job/career that makes them wake up every day excited to go to work. The garbage still needs to get collected, you know?
*stares with hearts in eyes*
Why aren’t there more people with this opinion walking around? Why?
I dunno, but it’s a plague on our society. Sometimes I’m envious of people who’ve found their “calling”, as it were, and are able to make a career out of it. Why couldn’t I be a scientist, or a cop, or a doctor? To get up for work every day knowing that I’m going to go get paid for doing something I love and was meant to do…But most of us don’t get that, and THAT’S OK. The day I realized this was a great day for me – I do not need to be defined by how I get my paycheck. My job’s alright! People are mostly good, pay is pretty high for what I do (though living in CA, it could be higher…), benefits are good, I get a decent amount time off and I’ve got job security. All of that plus! I leave work on time almost every day, I don’t do OT unless I want to, I don’t check email or do work when I’m not in the office. I don’t dread coming in in the morning. I don’t cry myself to sleep at night because of work – when I’m not here I tend not to think about it. This leaves me with all the emotional bandwidth I need to live my life and do the stuff that actually defines who I am.
My hope is that, as the economy changes (and hopefully recovers)and the younger Millennials grow up (I’m on the cusp between them and Gen. X), they’ll cause a paradigm shift because they HAVE to and out of necessity are finding new ways to build their lives.
Why aren’t there more people with this opinion walking around?
Because there’s only about five percent of the human population that isn’t classifiable as complete asshats, and from what I can tell, a lot of that 5% is here on The Toast.
Deep breath. Let it out slowly.
Looking is not a commitment. Sending a resume is not a commitment. Interviewing is not a commitment. Just keep doing these things. All the interviews, even if they never result in a new job, will build your network so that eventually the good jobs will come to you. That’s how it worked for my beloved, now that he is An Old. He knows at least one person at every major company in his industry.
And don’t forget: most successful executives never quit the job hunt. It’s a constant. Get a new job, update the resume, start aiming for the next job. So it’s not a major life change, is it? If it’s a constant activity? Does that feel better?
So, a professional should have a second job as a job hunter? I’ve been so happy with my 40 years in the service industry, especially working with the elderly, children, and the disabled. Unlike my peers and a lot of the world I am effortlessly patient with people who honestly need assistance.
I love necessary work, on the whole, even though it’s a bore sometimes. I am completely happy with the fact that I was born working class and will die working class. My 182 hours of completed college classes don’t conflict with or make sad my working class life helping working class people.
I don’t think a lot of feminist professionals and professional feminists understand how little some working class women have to tiptoe around the men in their lives, a good deal of the time.
Not “should have a second job as a job hunter”. Do have. I have decades of experience as executive assistant to a couple dozen execs. I describe what they, in fact, do. Without exception. Also true for my beloved and his peers in his industry. Job hunting is a constant and taken for granted, like home improvement, quarterly taxes, waxing the car, brushing your teeth. This is my observation.
I hear you on working class women and how they have to accommodate the men in their communities. I ran an inner city day care for the children of women who worked on the factory floor. Those were instructive years, seeing up close how stressful their lives were.
Major life changes are hard for most people, even if they wait until they’re settled again to feel it. Our world economy is nothing if not precarious for most people. Am wishing you luck and a big break.
I was really into my job and career and still like my job on the whole, however, a year ago something happened and now it’s not the same. After a fancy industry do, one of my boss’ clients, who I know, offered to share a cab home as he lives on the way to mine. As it was 3am, I said yes, not wanting to go home alone. IRONY. He gets handsy immediately and it’s like an hour ride, and I don’t push him away or anything as in my head I am literally saying to myself ‘he’s my boss’ client and worth £xxxx’ and feel like I can’t. I just keep saying ‘No thanks!’ in a fake cheery voice and taking my hand away whenever he takes it and pushing his hand away whenever he touches my thigh. Obviously now I realise that is what he was banking on (position of power and all that). At one point he says ‘the more you say no, the sexier it is’ ! Anyway, I tell everyone at work the next day and they are all horrified but hey guess what he’s still our client, although my boss has offered to me that if this client comes in for a meeting, I can work from home that day (!). They accidentally invited him to the annual party we throw for clients and when I made a big fuss about it their initial response was ‘we are very sorry we used last year’s invite list but he has a potentially large revenue and we are hoping he just rsvps no so we don’t have to disinvite him’. I lost it at that point and went full rage on them, and they disinvited him. However! They only did the right thing because I said something, right? Also, HE’S STILL OUR CLIENT. So, now I am not as happy there but it’s so hard to find a job in my field.
I hate that you had to endure all of this. I am glad you stood up for yourself and made all aware of the situation. You did the right thing at every step. You know that, right?
Ouch! Rat bastards!
Can we talk about how we all might have scoliosis?! I guess I’m going to wear my brace to the party, Deenie-by-Judy-Blume style, but I’m not going to be happy about it.
I have MS, and though it’s in remission right now, I could, if pressed, walk like a penguin toddler. Would that do?
By all means! [Is that a reference to the 1970’s New England Aquarium commercial, BTW? Fingers crossed! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddBt5p-Uqew%5D
Oh, GOD! Don’t let that happen to me!
Potentially the most upsetting thing that can happen to a pre-teen: finding out you have scoliosis like RIGHT after finishing Deenie.
Apparently no one thought to inform me that by the 90s back braces at least got a LITTLE less awful (but still plenty awful, you guys).
Oh, GOD….anyone who has anything to do with scoliosis patients should be hyperaware of Deenie and ready to reassure! Are there even any other ways in which a pre-teen would know or learn about scoliosis besides Deenie?! [Actually going to look into that now…] I’m sorry that happened to you, ksek!
So, a professional should have a second job as a job hunter? I've been so happy with my 40 years in the service industry, especially working with the elderly, children, and the disabled. Unlike my peers and a lot of the world I am effortlessly patient with people who honestly need assistance.
I love necessary work, on the whole, even though it's a bore sometimes. I am completely happy with the fact that I was born working class and will die working class. My 182 hours of completed college classes don't conflict with or make sad my working class life helping working class people.
I don't think a lot of feminist professionals and professional feminists understand how little some working class women have to tiptoe around the men in their lives, a good deal of the time.
I have MS, and though it's in remission right now, I could, if pressed, walk like a penguin toddler. Would that do?
Boyfriend has been offered his absolute dream job. Low paying but he would get paid to do what he absolutely loves. Basically getting paid to go fishing. But it’s in another state.
Meanwhile even though I bitch about my job, I do enjoy it and it pays very well. It’s great for my career and has good prospects. We’re at the stage where we’ve just bought a house and need all the money we can get.
I’m not prepared to pack up my dream house and move to Darwin. Can a relationship survive being in two different states?
I mean I’m good at being by myself, and he would be happy.
We just wouldn’t be together for a while.
You guys! I had no idea so many people wanted to talk about their jobs!
Oh, GOD! Don't let that happen to me!
what do you do if you don’t like your job at all and know you need to find a new one but aren’t even sure what you even want to do anymore/what would be feasible for you in particular to find paying work doing?