Gabriella Paiella’s previous work for The Toast can be found here.
I had a nice childhood. I didn’t want for much, save for three things that my parents refused to budge on. They were, ordered by the magnitude of associated tantrums that I threw:
1. an Easy-Bake Oven
2. an American Girl Doll
3. a movie ticket to Spice World
I eventually came to understand that my first two white whales were just exorbitantly priced tiny pieces of plastic. But banning Spice World was emblematic of how frustratingly arbitrary my parents’ rules for media consumption were. Spice World was deemed overly inappropriate, while I was parked in front of SNL, Naked Gun (2 ½, 33 ⅓), and every Mel Brooks movie by the age of 6. Apparently shots of Leslie Nielsen in a full-body condom were fine, but an occasional crop top would do irreversible damage.
Though repeatedly watching the Robin Hood: Men In Tights VHS as a child gave me the cultural capital I would need later in life, not watching Spice World robbed me of it when it truly mattered — as a chubby 8-year-old living in cruel, unforgiving suburbia, where everyone else had already seen it. It only took 15+ years for me to realize that I had the capability to watch Spice World if I wanted to. And even better, I’d be doing it is an adult.
For those unfamiliar with the plot or who need a refresher, the film follows the Spice Girls — Posh, Baby, Sporty, Ginger, and Scary — as they’re gearing up for the biggest gig of their career at Albert Hall. (Think: A Hard Day’s Night minus the Beatles, plus tube tops and platform shoes.) But things aren’t as simple as we’d like to think they are in dreamy Spice World. The band is plagued with an overly demanding manager, a nefarious reporter trying to tarnish their reputation, a pesky documentary filmmaker, and two bumbling writers can’t stop pitching idiotic potential screenplays to the Spice Girls’ manager. They also learn that their collective best friend, Nicola, is single and pregnant; as the girls try to make time to be present for the birth of her child, they begin to realize that the demands of fame are starting to encroach on their personal life. (If this band was formed today, there would almost certainly be a Xanax Spice.) Amidst all this strife, there is dancing, lip-syncing, and a fuckton of glitter.
I was never a heavily invested Spice Girls fan, but their personas were undeniably alluring; I was especially captivated by Baby Spice and Posh Spice back in the day. As an awkward, bookish child they distinctly represented a feminine ideal that was appealing to me because it seemed so far off from something I’d ever be able to replicate. Baby was very blonde, Posh very thin, and both were perfectly manicured; whenever we “played” Spice Girls at recess I longed to be them — but so did everybody else. I was fairly indifferent to Ginger and actively shied away from Sporty and Scary (THE BLACK MEMBER WAS CALLED “SCARY,” #NEVERFORGET – Ed.)
Within ten minutes of my screening, I was completely smitten with Sporty Spice, or Mel C. It was the irresistible combination of her slightly brusque accent, her tribal band bicep tattoo, her impeccable ‘90s fashion, and her habit of lifting weights and sneering while the rest of the girls hung out in the tour bus discussing clothes and horoscopes. She was a stone fox who could could seemingly kick anyone’s ass, and I was glad to come to my senses later in life.
And though I was hyper-aware of it, I chose to suspend disbelief about how unrealistic it was that the tour bus interior looked as cavernous as it did when the exterior appeared to be a standard double-decker. Look at me, retaining childhood wonder!
There were a few other upsides to first seeing Spice World as a cognizant adult, namely the cameos that would’ve flown over my head years ago:
Richard E. Grant (better known as Jessa’s druggie friend on Girls)
Alan Cumming
Meat Loaf
A scene I particularly loved was the one in which the girls are chatting with their pregnant friend, and imagine a nightmarish flashforward where they’re all overtired mothers.
I had entirely forgotten about the “girl power” slogan the Spice Girls popularized and was even delighted to see some full-on misandry written into the movie. Most of the men are sinister, hapless, and goofy; even the “good guys” are an unfortunate combination of the latter two.
Or they’re just fully objectified.
It was, at times, bitingly clever — like when Ginger Spice answers an interview question “is the Pope Catholic?” The girls are viciously attacked on the news for suggesting that the Pope might not be Catholic, a poke at the overblown media hype cycle that’s only gotten worse since 1997.
The verdict, after so many years of waiting? Spice World…wasn’t great. In fact, it was pretty terrible. I drank an entire bottle of wine during the last 40 minutes and still found it difficult to get through. I understand the lyrics “if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends” even less than I did 17 years ago. But did I hate it like Roger Ebert hated it? No.
The dialogue is laughably cringe-worthy. There are, inexplicably, aliens thrown in there at one point. But it was relatively harmless, captured the energy and absurdity of pop music phenomenons, and wielded its own light-hearted, albeit slightly clumsy, version of feminism.
I’m satisfied that I fulfilled a childhood dream of mine. Now I’m off to order that Easy-Bake Oven.
Tags: childhood, Gabriella Paiella, movies, spice world
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Oh man, those cameos definitely went over my head as a kid. Meat Loaf?! Love it 🙂
At one point Meat Loaf’s character says “I love those girls. I would do anything for them! But I won’t do that.”
…
He was talking about unclogging their toilets.
And then they trekked EIGHT MILES into the woods to pee.
And why did they go so far in to the woods? THE WORLD WILL NEVER KNOW.
(Also how can they understand aliens, but #bygones)
And would you have cared then if the Spice Girls had discovered a cure for déjà vu? Or if the Spice Girls had discovered a cure for déjà vu?
Barry Humphries and Jason Flemyng cameos in one of my favourite scenes. Plus Richard Briers as the affronted clergyman responding to the girls’ shoddy information gathering regarding the Pope’s catholism; très bon.
When I was a kid and we would “play Spice Girls” during recess, we had two groups of “Spice Girls”: the beautiful ones and then the group made up of sad, shy rejects, which is why, as an acne-ridden, buck-toothed 13 year old, I was allowed to be Baby Spice because I was blonde. It took a very long time before I realized how cruel this was, and how my childhood was essentially the plot of that Margaret Atwood book, Cat’s Eye.
But also, RE: cameos – Hugh Laurie as the weird reporter!
I am comforted to know that you also went through this.
reppin’ for Sporty. We even performed “Say You’ll Be There” in front of my grade school. I was the only one who didn’t want to dress slutty (total peer pressure thing, only discovered afterwards that I actually do love Mel C).
All of us who used to be Sporty should form a club.
Related: when a girl who was actually athletic (as opposed to me, who was simply the least girly of the group at the moment) joined our club, I was relegated to Scary, because she was “the worst” or whatever.
All that remains of that experience is my unrestricted love for Mel B (did you see her on Whose Line that one time?! SHE IS FLAWLESS).
She’s great on Never Mind the Buzzcocks, too.
I just watched this for the first time in a very long time a couple weeks ago. Delighted by the misandry, horrified by the writing, amazed by Baby Spice’s ability to dance around in what appeared to be six-inch platform sneakers.
It’s on Netflix, y’all, go watch it tonight.
I have been waiting for it to pop up on Netflix for months now it seems. I could only find it on Amazon Instant for like $8 and I was not going to pay full out for this kind of entertainment.
I know what I’m doing tonight!!
As a kid, I actively disliked Baby, was meh about Posh (she honestly seemed far scarier to me than “Scary,” who I always thought looked like a really nice person with awesome hair and an enviable ability to sneer/snarl), wanted to be friends with Scary and Sporty, and wanted to actually be Ginger. I think all of that probably says something about repressed things, how I was raised, my own awkwardness as a kid, etc, but I really didn’t understand any of it at the time.
The “Wannabe” page on songmeanings.com can reach no firm consensus on the “gotta get with my friends” bit:
-This song just dosen’t work on many levels. They’re saying that if a guy wants to get with them, they have to also be with their friends, and make it last a long time. I don’t know if i’m mistaken, but I don’t think that relationships work that way.
-Am I the only person on the planet to have spotted the Spice Girls shocking promotion of Ecstasy use to the impressionable pre-pubescent market?
-this is not about fucking anyone elses boyfriend, where the hell did you hallucinate that?!?! its just about how if a guy wants to be with one of the girls, he has to get along with her friends. really guys, is it that hard to understand?!?!
-This song is not about 9/11
I’ve said this before, possibly here, but for years I thought the lyrics were “gotta get rid of my friends,” which seemed to make as much sense as anything.
The one thing I can say with confidence about “Wannabe” is that it is, indeed, not about 9/11.
I love songmeanings.com. Everything there is SO COMPLEX AND SERIOUS.
The best explanation I’ve heard over the years is that the line is demanding a new boyfriend to be cool with the singer’s friends (“get with” is not the way to say it… “be down with” would have been better) if he wants to have a lasting relationship, because her friends aren’t going anywhere (friendship never ends). It’s terrible phrasing, but I like the sentiment behind it.
I was especially captivated by Baby Spice and Posh Spice back in the day. As an awkward, bookish child they distinctly represented a feminine ideal that was appealing to me because it seemed so far off from something I’d ever be able to replicate.
Same! Minus Baby Spice though–I am myself very blond and babyfaced, so I longed to shed the infantilized model of femininity for the sleek Porsche model.
I loved this piece. I never saw Spice World but I was definitely into Spice Girls music, which I alternately kept secret or tried to spin as ironic, even to myself. (Example of the latter: used Sound Recorder on Windows 95 to painstakingly blend .wav files of myself, along with two girls I knew only from an AOL message board, singing Say You’ll Be There “as a joke.”) As a 90s teenager I suspected that the Spice Girls represented some model of womanhood that I wasn’t supposed to emulate, but I longed for it anyway. I feel like I understand that a little better after reading.
Lord, this makes me feel old. I was a senior in high school, and saw it in the theater on Super Bowl Sunday, IN COSTUME (far left, as Ginger):
And went to a concert that summer:
I own it on VHS, and I’m actually planning to watch it with a friend from the first picture THIS VERY WEEK.
OMG that second picture!! Your poses!!! I am dying. “Spice Or Bust”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just resurrected and died all over again.
Like you, I saw this at an age that makes me feel super-old to read this article & its comments — I was a freshman in college and my friends and I got drunk and watched this movie when it was screened on campus. It was campy and wonderful and hilarious and, because we were drunk, my friend and I spent a fair amount of the movie debating whether it would be a good idea to rush the screen and start dancing in front of it along with the Girls. Good judgment prevailed and we did not. I remember always feeling a little bad for Mel C. because her “sporty” persona seemed a little boring and she didn’t get the same sex-appeal narrative as Baby, Ginger, and Posh, but she also didn’t seem like she was enjoying herself the way Mel B. was.
I had a poster up in my freshman dorm room!
I got to see it in theater when I was 9. It was glorious. Then somehow, the parent(s) were convinced to get a copy of the VHS. We still have it. I watched it enough times to count.
Then I watched it again in grad school and life was perfect for a short amount of time.
I feel old too! I was also in high school and saw Spice World while babysitting.
“AND I’M VICTORIA, MALCOLM” was my text alert for a while.
Ahhhh, I was SO happy when I saw that Spice World was on Netflix and watched it immediately. Sure, it’s completely ridiculous, but I was so pleased to see the misandry and man-objectification in there, along with the awesome cameos! I think was 12 or so when it came out, and saw it like 3 times at the theatre. Even though I was one of the ‘grunge’ kids at my school, listening mainly to Nirvana and Bush, Spice Girls was my total guilty pleasure, and I had a big crush on Posh (still do). My equally grungy friends and I would get into a big circle at lunchtime and sing Wannabe, and take turns doing the rap midway through the song. I can’t imagine why people thought we were dorky.
Heartily disagree with final verdict, Spice World is the best film ever made.
I have a friend you would get along with. Unless you’re her. Elizabeth? Is that you?
Ha! Not Elizabeth. But I bet she’s great.
YES THIS 100%
I will defend Spice World forever.
You did not mention that Mark McKinney is in it. For every Kid In The Hall your movie contains, your movie becomes 15% better.
th-aaaat is enough to get me to watch it.
Slings And Arrows Rule.
SLINGS AND ARROWS!
Maybe it’s time to watch the entire series all over again. Heck, it’s only been what, a year?
This movie made me fear giving birth because of the scene when Nicola has her baby and one of the spice girls says something like “it’s gonna shoot out like a cannonball.” I cried. I still maintain that giving birth is a horrifying thing that is not for me.
Also, their pregnant best friend is Tosh from Torchwood!!!!
it’s the best part!
Who also played Saffy’s weirdo friend in Ab Fab. Jennifer Saunders also has a cameo; if memory serves Posh, in an attempt at intelligent conversation, asks her what she thinks about manta rays. I think.
Yes, hooray for Titicaca!
Let’s discuss what today’s Spice Girls would be.
I’m guessing that there would be a Nerdy Spice in there, and Sporty Spice would probably make an updated appearance, but who else? (Much as I love Xanax Spice, I doubt it’d pass the Disney Channel test.)
Hipster Spice?
Emo Spice
Art School Dropout Spice
Etsy Spice
Burner Spice
Sassy Trans Spice (sigh)
Women’s Studies Spice
I’m seeing this drift into Toast Spices:
Librarian Spice
Feminist Spice
Misandrist Spice
Queer Spice
Ta-nehisi Spice
Dirtbag Spice
Big Hair No Heart Spice
I think today’s Spice Girls are the main characters of Girls, pretty much
This is obvious, but Pumpkin Spice!
omg
She only appears once a year, and is followed by Peppermint Spice who people generally like better.
You win the Internet today.
NOOOOOOOOO I love Spice World! They’re so self-mocking that you have to love them! THEY KNOW EXACTLY WHO THEY ARE.
A few years ago I saw Posh (and Becks!) at a restaurant in Napa on a random Tuesday evening, and she was taking ridiculous funny-faced selfies with one of the boys and it was the most awesome thing I’d ever seen. When I asked on my way out if she wanted me to take one of the two of them, she said no thanks, her husband would be back in a second.
YOU GUYS I TALKED TO POSH SPICE AND IT WAS AMAZING.
The first time I saw Spice World was in the theater for a friend’s 12th or 13th birthday. Every girl in the grade (there were only 30 of us) was invited and I think we had the place all to ourselves, which was optimal for aisle dancing. We must have watched it at least ten times when it came out on video, yet I still had absolutely NO recollection of the plot except for the bit where the go to bootcamp (to prepare for the concert, I assume?)
Also, I feel like this is a safe space to profess my deep, abiding love of the Josie and the Pussycats movie.
I, too, suffer from a love of the Josie and the Pussycats movie. I…I owned the soundtrack. *sigh*
I did too. And when it was recently on HBO On Demand, I watched it. Twice.
Strength and courage and a WonderBra.
oh god, i must have rented josie and the pussycats on VHS at least 20 times in the months following its release.
Yo, Josie & the Pussycats is a fantastic movie and I will fight to the death your right to love it. Rosario Dawson’s whole arc ALONE is better than a shit ton of movies I’ve seen, and that’s not even touching the rest of the movie’s wonderfulness.
It has Parker Posey AND Alan Cumming! How can you go wrong?
There’s no “i” in Dujour!
DuJour means seatbelts!
I saw this in the theater when I was 12 with my friend Helen because Titanic was sold out. We were super disappointed and had been gearing up for cryfest movie but instead had to settle for seeing a movie that we, at the time, were preparing to suffer through (even though we were 100% the target audience for it). There was a teenage couple sitting in front of us who spent the whole movie making out. Since we were awkward 6th graders resentful of their teen lust, we pelted them with Junior Mints periodically throughout the movie, which I remember being surprisingly delightful. I remember it not taking itself seriously at all, asking the audience to go on a candy colored, glittery fantasy romp and I spent years afterward defending it.
I haven’t seen it since then, and I kind of don’t want to taint the memory that really fun night.
I saw this in the theater when I was 12 with my friend Helen because Titanic was sold out.
Has there ever been a more 90s sentence? There has not.
Like the author, I was not allowed to watch this movie as a child and so saw it for the first time as an adult only recently. It is absolutely a not-serious-at-all candy colored glittery fantasy romp and I watched it two times in one weekend and enjoyed myself thoroughly.
…I have also taken Sporty Spice as my new fashion inspiration and a non-serious way to explain the recent inclusion of street-style athletic wear into my life (I am now also very comfortable)
SPICE WORLD IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER MADE
I work in a movie theatre, with several other early-20-somethings, and for a staff movie night we watched Spice World. And it was glorious. My sister and I were the only ones who had seen it recently. The other girls were filled with the appropriate delight. The guys, however, felt their brains melt from too much awesome. I highly recommend watching Spice World with males. They break so easily.
This is so great, and also makes me feel just a little bit old, as I was an 18-year-old college freshman when this came out! My friends and I drove down to L.A. to go to the premiere (ironically, of course). We didn’t go to the movie, just hung out outside to scream with the fans as the Spice Girls drove in atop a double-decker bus, it was amazing!! So after they all go into the theater, a reporter from E! comes over and interviews us, asking us what we love about the Spice Girls. A few years later, my friend got a job at E!, and a few weeks ago on her last day there she emailed me the VIDEO OF THE INTERVIEW that she found down in the archives. Oh. My. Gawd. So embarrassing and hilarious.
So I was actually a hair young for Spice Girls, but I had the distinct honor of trying to explain to my uber-straight white older male partner the particular feeling of seeing the Spice Girls reunite at the Olympics (and then seeing Destiny’s Child briefly regroup at the Super Bowl). It really doesn’t translate, the gulf of experience is too wide.
In my opinion, Jennifer Saunders is by far the most important cameo in that movie.
I had a Spice Girls themed 10th birthday party, and I wanted to be Posh so bad. However, because I lacked the appropriate strapless dress for the occasion, I just wore one of my longer “fancy occasion” skirts hiked up to my armpits. My mom didn’t even say a word, she just rolled with it.
I feel old too! I was also in high school and saw Spice World while babysitting.
So good in Twelfth Night. He was also the Scarlet Pimpernel after Anthony Andrews.
Spice World came out on Boxing Day when I was 7 and my long-suffering dad took me and my friend to see it at our local cinema. Most of the local kids had also been packed off to see it, presumably so their parents could get some rest, and they spent most of the film pelting each other and everyone else with popcorn. My dad still shivers at the memory.
Between my friends it was always a toss up between Sporty and Ginger as our favourite. I remember looking at my Spice Girls poster (free from Top of The Pops magazine, with a shirtless Peter Andre on the back) the night they announced that Geri was leaving the band and whispering 'Please don't be true, please don't leave'.
Did anyone else collect the photos?
I DID THIS TOO!! Only with a black full-length women's skirt patterned with tiny white flowers which I'd purchased from a charity shop for the occasion. It was faaaar too big for me. We were going to perform a Spice Girls song at the school karaoke, only in the end we all chickened out and listened to my friend's nan and her pals do a raucous rendition of the Locomotion.
I still know all the words to all the songs. Alan Cumming knows a good movie when he sees it.
Jack in Jack and Sarah- super-charming romance (starts with a tragedy, though). the Sarah is his baby daughter
Old Spice! Yes, I too was in college when this masterpiece came out. Such fond memories!
He will always be Sir Andrew in his plus fours to me.
You win the Internet today.
DuJour means seatbelts!