THE ONLY PIECE OF NEWS THAT MATTERS EVER AGAIN
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This piece by Talib Kweli Greene about Lauryn Hill and the expectations we have as fans and consumers is ON:
No matter what Lauryn Hill decided to do after she gave us The Miseducation, never forget that she already gave us The Miseducation. It was the most critically acclaimed album of 1998 and has become a modern classic. The following year, Lauryn Hill became the first woman ever to be nominated in ten different Grammy categories, and she won five of them, including Album of The Year. This was another historic first for women. During the acceptance speech, Lauryn Hill claimed us loudly and proudly by declaring “This is crazy. This is hip-hop.” For this, I will always have Lauryn Hill’s back. For this, I will ride for her whether she ever releases anything ever again. She’s already given me so much, I feel I owe her more.
On Madewell, and how a family company from 1937 became a J. Crew brand:
Madewell’s story — my story — leading up to that moment in SoHo began over a century ago, half a world away. It traces the evolution of how Americans shop, and how Americans shop heavily informs how Americans see themselves; we, as a country, are what we buy. Mickey Drexler, in creating J.Crew’s new womenswear stores, shrewdly read the market and realized that stocking nice clothes wouldn’t be enough: He’d have to tell a story along with them. Drexler didn’t have any stories, so he bought ours.
Only Casey Cep can make me read a story about a ferry and the community is services and be genuinely glad I did:
A neighboring grave belongs to Reverend and Mrs. Daniel Maynadier, almost as famous as Morris, though not because of history but folklore. Hannah Maynadier became ill, but before she died she asked to be buried with her favorite ring. So valuable was the ring that once it was buried, two thieves tried to recover it, only the woman’s fingers were so swollen that the ring got stuck. Mrs. Maynadier, not having actually crossed Charon’s ferry, woke when the thieves cut off her finger. Prematurely pronounced dead, she scurried from the grave back to the rectory, for her husband was then the White Marsh Church rector, and they lived awhile longer until they were finally buried together years later, five years before Morris.
Diana Athill on being 96 and not particularly worried about death, though hoping for an easy one:
I live now in an old people’s home with 42 others, our average age being 90, or perhaps a little more. When one makes the difficult decision (and difficult it is) to retire from normal life, get rid of one’s home and most of one’s possessions, and move into such a place (or be moved, which doesn’t apply here I am glad to say) it means that one has reached the stage of thinking, “How am I going to manage my increasing incompetence now that I’m so old? Who is going to look after me when I can no longer look after myself?” Death is no longer something in the distance, but might well be encountered any time now.
the immortal genius of william langewiesche, who consistently turns the minutae of flying details into terrifying and informative longform pieces about plane crashes:
There were no bumps; the night remained smooth as the airplane gradually approached the weather. Dubois said, “Bon, we’ll just take whatever measures are required.” It was the closest he came to advising Bonin of a plan. Bonin lowered the cockpit lighting and switched on the landing lights to illuminate the outside. They entered a cloud layer. Dubois answered an intercom call from a flight attendant, who told him she was taking the night duty in case he needed anything. He answered with a French endearment, “Yes, my flea,” and ended the call. Although thunderstorms lay ahead and were showing on the radar, no lightning was visible. They were in mild turbulence, without any need yet to deviate from the straight-line course. Bonin said, “It would have been good to climb, huh?” Dubois said, “If there’s turbulence.” He meant significant turbulence, which the record later showed they never encountered. Referring to rules associated with distance from potential diversionary airports, Dubois said, “We’re entering the ETOPS zone, the death zone,” and Bonin answered, “Yeah, exactly.” The airplane was building up a static charge, causing some popping on the radios. Bonin got the impression that they were flying close to the top of the cloud layer. Once again he suggested a climb. “We try to ask for 3–6 [36,000 feet] nonstandard? We’re really at the limits [of the layer]. Even 3–6 would be good.” Dubois for once was unambiguous. He said, “We’re going to wait a bit, see if this passes.” The ghostly lights of Saint Elmo’s fire danced across the windscreen.
Beejoli Shah, on what she learned at her first white person wedding:
That’s not to say I hadn’t been to any weddings before. It’s just that — thanks to socializing primarily with other Indians, and receiving most of my wedding invitations via my Indian parents — they’ve all been Indian weddings. I love Indian weddings, in all their colorful, weeklong splendor; in fact, I’ve spent years lobbying my parents to throw me a Bollywood circus when the time comes. But when this “save the date” showed up in my mailbox, addressed to just me and nobody else, I honestly didn’t know what to expect. Would a wedding be as fun if the entire event took place over the course of a day, instead of stretched out over a week? Would I be able to remember all the etiquette and customs expected of guests, despite never having encountered them before? Would I make a fool of myself, all because “what to do at white people weddings” yielded so few results on Google?
It is not enough to dump him, you have to nuke him from orbit:
I’m divorced and have a young daughter. I don’t have a job, but I do take care of my father full-time – he has ALS, Parksinson’s, and dementia. I have a longtime on-again, off-again beau who always mocks me for being a “single housewife” and a “lady who lunches.” He dismisses my protests and tells me I’m lucky to be the daughter of a rich man (I am, but that doesn’t mean I’m lazy.) He also says he could never “really” be with a woman who didn’t work outside the home. I’m not kidding when I say my whole life revolves around childcare and eldercare, including school visits, doctors’ visits, pharmacy visits, grocery shopping, and other errands, and these occasional dates are the only time I have to blow off steam. He’s really begun to get on my nerves. Should I dump him?
YES TAKE MY MONEY HOME DEPOT pic.twitter.com/hl8jM9IvJO
— Choire (@Choire) September 27, 2014
Really want to read that article about AF 447, but also really want to get through my AF flight a few months from now without having to drug myself into a stupor *conflicted*
I read the entirety of the pullquote and it is as much as I can handle. Many kudos to the author with the excellent skill at narrative, but there is nothing more for me here.
I read the whole thing the other day. While I wouldn’t avoid it specifically because you are taking an Air France flight, I would avoid it if you are taking ANY flight at all, because it is completely terrifying. And I have never, for one second, been afraid of flying.
All that said, the author is an immortal genius and it is an amazing article.
I read it. I don’t know why I read it. It was a terrible idea. At least I didn’t read it before I got on a plane two days ago. It was a great article but now I am shaking so maybe don’t do it?
Yeah…. no. I read all the way to the actual crash part and that was enough for me. I am not normally afraid of flying, but this one makes me want to interview the pilots before each flight. (But i guess the same is true of all the drivers I share the road with every day?)
Is it weird that articles like this actually make me feel LESS afraid of flying? It’s like a step-by-step explanation of a plane crash soothes me somehow, makes the whole thing less mysterious. Like “Oh, this is how it’s going to be.”
The story of the crash of <a href=”http://www.amazon.com/Flight-232-Story-Disaster-Survival-ebook/dp/B00FQUDSFS/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1412097844&sr=1-1&keywords=flight+232″>Flight 232 gave me some very handy instructions about how to attempt to survive a plane crash.
Boy, that’s a garbage link. Sorry!
I read it even though I am flying all day tomorrow. I’m not a nervous flier, but I am now filled with regret. Don’t do it!! 🙁
Yup, I’m flying on Friday, but I read this all anyway, woo!
DID WE TALK ABOUT AFFIRMATIVE CONSENT IN CALIFORNIA YET
But while victims’ rights advocates have welcomed the new standard, the law also has its critics, who say its requirements place too much burden on the accused.
OH, I’M SO SORRY, RAPISTS
FOR THIS TERRIBLE BURDEN
How much of a burden is it to say “Hey, do you wanna bone?” and then wait for an answer? Jeeeez.
They’ve also already confirmed that non-verbal consent meets the definition: leaning into someone, nodding your head, reciprocity.
But that just ruins the mood! It’s so unsexy! Like condoms
When I was teaching consent workshops to first year university students, I would always say asking for consent was a win-win situation. Because if they say yes, yay sex! and if they say no (and you respect it), yay you didn’t rape anyone!
Also consent can totally be sexy! It doesn’t have to be like, “Yes, hello, I am proposing that we engage in some amount of friction between two genitals for the purpose of sexual satisfaction”.
but that IS sexy?????
Right! It isn’t “the party of the first part petitions the party of the second part for permission to engage in sexual intercourse”
Although….
Take me now, Mr. Spock.
” But while victims’ rights advocates have welcomed the new standard, the law also has its critics, who say its requirements place too much burden on the accused.”
brb playing the saddest song on my tiniest violin
this is MOST EXCELLENT.
Also the end of gay panic/trans panic defenses wooooooo
I am so happy about this, and not only because it directly addresses the “if she didn’t kick you in the balls then she wanted it” crap. I’m also hopeful (hopeful!) that making affirmative consent the norm can help make it normal and expected for women to own their sexuality and slowly strangle the default expectation of coyness. I didn’t phrase that very well, apologies but I can’t think of how to put it.
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND why the downside here is “misandry” rather than “what the fuck, why is this only a thing on state-funded campuses? Are you saying that a lack of no is good enough everywhere else in California?” 🙁
I’d really just like their lovely definition of affirmative consent engraved in a nice, hefty stone tablet so I can beat Texas judges OVER THE FUCKING HEAD with it since they seem to have a hard time understanding the concept.
Ugh that jezebel letter about the disgusting boyfriend who makes fun of the woman who takes care of her father full-time is hitting me right in the feels. One of the reasons I don’t get along with my dad is because he belittles and insults my mother for working a three hour a day part-time job without realizing that, because of Sexist Old School European Reasons, HE is her full-time job. He’s never made a meal for himself, done his own laundry, grocery shopped, or cleaned any part of the house except the odd vaccuum job. The reason why my mom only works at her job three hours a day is so she can basically make his life easier for him, and it’s super gross and I hate it.
It’s so nice when someone writes to an advice column with a problem that is so clear-cut. BURN HIM, next.
My mom cares for her two elderly parents who don’t even have something as debilitating as ALS, and she doesn’t have kids at home anymore. It is still an incredible amount of work. That LW needs to dump that guy in the meanest way possible.
Also, ALS, Parkinson’s, AND dementia! Any one of those could be overwhelming on its own, let alone all 3 together.
Apparently it’s a theme day, because Carolyn Hax also took down a dude who thinks stay-at-home moms are “one-dimensional” and don’t contribute as much to the household.
Ugghhhh the fac that housework is considered valueless pisses me off so much.
Yeah, that one got to me, too. My boyfriend has recently bought a business that requires 70-80 hour weeks, and I’ve had to explain to him that it affects me too. It’s not (just) that I don’t get to see him as much, but also that he is always at work or tired from work, so I’ve had to take on way more of the household stuff than I used to and that counts as work.
I couldn’t agree more on your point, but how is this specifically european?
Beejoli Shah’s wedding article is so good.
Also, Lauryn Hill used to ice skate at the rink at my college and a friend of mine took lessons with her. I was so jealous. Will definitely be clicking through to that one when quota time allows. (shakes the angriest fist at Websense EVER)
My new and forever comeback: “LAURYN HILL GAVE US ‘MISEDUCATION.’ WHAT HAVE YOU EVER DONE?”
Slightly annoyed by the American wedding = white person wedding tone of the article, but it was also hilarious and I love weddings.
Also I’m reading the piece on white people weddings and am seeing some significant differences between this white people wedding and the Italian/Portuguese/Greek white people weddings I’ve attended. There are definitely church-to-reception costume changes, and an Italian wedding with less than 200 people is unheard of.
Oh my GOD yes. My (Greek) dad’s family is currently in mild flip-out because my perfect cousin (with whom I share a name) is also getting married next year and she’s DOING IT RITE with a 400-person guest list, whereas I am marrying a guy who’s already done it twice and neither of us give a shit about the cream-puff wedding industry so we’re not even having 20 people including ourselves and officiant. Dad has already fielded phone calls from the Cyprus family asking whether Cousin and I could please plan to have our weddings in the same month so they don’t have to fly back and forth more than once, and when he tells them a) the date is set and no, it’s not even close to the same time, and b) they weren’t going to get invitations because NO ONE is getting invitations they just lose their shit.
My boyfriend and I have discussed that getting married may be a thing for us, but my family is Italian and his family are artsy WASPs so we’ll see how that goes. The last wedding in his family was a 40 person guest list in a backyard with mason jar cocktails; the last wedding I went to was 400 people in a banquet hall with a smoke machine and a sweet table.
Oh man, now I kinda wish I’d had a smoke machine at my reception.
My husband decided to cut ties with most of his family a few months after we got engaged, but in the months where his family was under the impression that they’d be coming to our wedding, they were pretty batshit about it. I remember one series of emails between him and one of his aunts. He had told her that we were hoping to keep the guest list under 50 people – this was meant as a subtle hint that farflung distant relations didn’t need to book plane tickets because they wouldn’t be invited. Aunt replied something like, “Great, what’s the problem? Your side of the family is more or less 50 people.” MAYBE I HAVE FAMILY AND FRIENDS OF MY OWN WHOM I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE AT MY WEDDING??
We ended up having a 20-minute ceremony at city hall with 8 guests and it was fantastic.
Southern white people weddings are usually huge too. like 300-400 people is very common
I went to my first wedding with costume change this summer and it was great! I got to throw on a cute summery dress and comfy but pretty sandals, go to the church, then we had 4 hours to eat lunch, have a beer, go home and get all dolled up for the reception.
Much better than doing all the costuming in order to get to a church before noon and trying to make it last 12 hours.
Yeah. I get what she’s saying, but that wedding is a very specific white person’s wedding. Although I do enjoy the following: 1) the tone of “white people are strange” bc I like not normalizing white people, even though white = American does that, 2) the comment on NYMag of “this is the wedding of everyone in the Western Hemisphere” because lololol no it is definitely not.
Mid-Atlantic Vietnamese American weddings: reception is in a Chinese restaurant because of $$$ (nevermind 1000 years of cultural animosity, when in you’re in the US things change, I guess), the bride changes her dress three times, there are at least 300 people, the groom and groomsmen drinks shots of Hennessy with every table. TRADITION!
Italian weddings seem to do the shots of Hennessy thing too! It’s especially hilarious because the groomsmen do them as people come in to the wedding reception, after they greet and congratulate the bride and groom, so the entire male half of the wedding party is plastered 20 minutes in to the 3+ hour reception.
OMG, really? I didn’t think that the binge drinking levels could go up any further but.. you’ve just up and done it! lol.
#notallwhitepeople?
Another Lauryn Hill observation. When someone pulls out the old nugget “But she is racist against white people! She doesn’t want white people at her shows!!1!” I take it as an invitation to suspend all communication with that person indefinitely. Really separates the wheat from the chaff.
Is that what the whole “Lauryn Hill is racist against white people” thing about? My sister brought it up years ago (early 90s) and as a 9 year old, I was just like “???” Googling last year didn’t help.
If I’m remembering correctly, Lauryn Hill didn’t even say she doesn’t want white people at her shows. What she actually said was something to the effect of “My music and my shows are not FOR white people” which is a very very different (and still super valid) thing.
Oh man, that is incredibly valid–not that she needs an okay from me. Thanks for clearing that up.
I would be a horrible (or great, depending on your point of view) advice columnist, because my advice 99.99% of the time is DUMP THE DUDE.
Why put up with bad men, ever? DUMP HIM
I’m with you! I have no time for taking crap from men.
Another choice quote from that Lauryn Hill piece, which is wonderful:
True fans celebrate what they have already received, they don’t whine like spoiled children about not receiving things they were never owed in the first place. When (and if) an artist shares their art, it is a privilege not a right. Try to remove your personal feelings from that equation.
I wish this could be engraved on the very walls of the Internet, not just for folks talking about Lauryn Hill, but about movies, TV, books, videogames, etc. While fan culture can produce wonderful communities and sometimes creative products, there’s a tendency to expect that because you love something you are owed it. That your own dedication to an artist guarantees you a stake in their work. Which is not to say that art should be immune from criticism. But I want artists who are interested in following their own creative risks or personal choices, rather than doing what some blowhard on a forum (or some asshole music critic) thinks is good and proper.
Oh god this is reminding me of how A Song of Ice and Fire fans berate George RR Martin for not writing fast enough. HE IS A PERSON NOT YOUR OWN FANFIC MACHINE
that’s immediately where I went. So obnoxious.
See also:
– People who freak out when a new book/movie/game in a franchise is released and violates their personal head-canon.
– Folks who panic when an artist tries out a new style.
– Internet Men who pitch a fit when a game starts actively trying to appeal to audiences beyond Straight White Men, and who complain that said game is “ABANDONING THEIR CORE AUDIENCE”
– Let’s be honest here: pretty much all of Gamer culture (see: everything in games recently)
I do think it’s ok to be a little disappointed when a piece isn’t finished, or wistful when the quality declines. I have an author I like who never finished a trilogy I loved, and it might never happen, although from time to time she says she does mean to. She has written other things since, which I didn’t love as much. I would love to read the ending of the series and reading her newer things doesn’t really make up for it. Which isn’t to say she owes me that book. But it’s at least worth acknowledging that when you land on someone who makes something that you love, that love makes you crave more, and if you know the person had the magic to make it before, it makes you greedy for them. Especially if lots of things don’t actually speak to you, so its rare.
When they change, or can’t keep going, its a bit like getting dumped. you thought they LOVED YOU and GOT YOU, but look at them, carrying on, as if you don’t even matter, hurting you by making other fans happy. FANS THAT DIDN”T EVEN KNOW THEIR EARLY WORK!!! Etc.
I think part of it is how much people in pop culture arenas really invest in what your tastes are. That ownership of authors comes from something in our culture where tastes define WHO YOU ARE AS A HUMAN and your values and things. So a change from an artist reflects on you, because that artist is a shorthand for who you are and what you are like. If they diminish in your eyes, then you diminish in the eyes of your peers. Which is all kinds of messed up.
Especially in nerd culture, the heros are so essential, because the nerd defines themselves as outside the “normals” and they worship the heros of the nerd kingdom. And now, especially as nerd becomes less ostracized, there’s a real resentment. How dare those normal people like my thing and also maybe influence changes in it?!
I bet GRRM has that sentiment framed in his office!
The only thing I disagree with in that article is that I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be upset if I’ve paid for a ticket to a show and the artist doesn’t show up at all. But when people get upset that they didn’t play their favorite songs, or didn’t play them “right,” I very much agree with his point that that’s what CDs are for. And yes, sometimes it’s disappointing when an artist goes in a new direction that you don’t like as much, but treating it like a personal betrayal is ridiculous, because they don’t actually owe you anything. (Plus also how boring would it be if every artist/band just always put out albums that sounded exactly like their first one? So boring, is how)
Exactly! That piece was so amazing and said everything.
I have found that watching shows like Air Disasters actually helps my (mild) fear of flying. So many things need to go wrong in order for a plane to crash. For some reason it’s soothing to me to know that a chain of mishaps needs to happen (each with their own miniscule probability of happening) vs just one thing.
Are you the friend of mine who had to be asked by an office mate not to watch plane crash videos on youtube while doing her PhD research??
Probably not because she’s asleep in New Zealand, but I had to tell her that “no, I don’t want you to show me this, I have a trans-Pacific flight in 5 days” while visiting her SHORTLY AFTER the Malaysian Air flight disappeared. I’m fine with flying! But that just seemed excessive.
My problem with those shows is that they reveal to me the startling range of things that could possibly go wrong. It would never have occurred to me independently that a single screw not being properly lubricated could lead to the tail falling off and the plane crashing. But having heard about it on Air Disasters, it’s in the back of my mind every time I have to fly. There are so many screws in a plane! So much to be anxious about!
I am very happy that I don’t know that. If I did, I would be anxious indeed.
I am the same! It’s soothing to understand exactly what’s involved in a plane crash. Plane crash twinsies!
Have you read about <a href=”http://www.amazon.com/Flight-232-Story-Disaster-Survival-ebook/dp/B00FQUDSFS/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1412097844&sr=1-1&keywords=flight+232″>Flight 232? It’s a very good book about a plane crash where a bunch of people managed to survive. Lots to learn!
Yes! But I limit myself to watching the ones about crashes in which everyone survives. My favorite is the one that lands on a levee in Louisiana.
I find the Jakarta Incident (all four engines stopped working due to volcanic ash. The pilots managed to restart them and do an emergency landing, even though they couldn’t see out of the windscreen) very comforting. It was all fine, even though the engines stopped working!
Anyone else as excited as I am about the two (2!) Prince albums that dropped today? Both are on Spotify and I’m listening on repeat at work.
I AM NOW.
THANK YOU FOR MENTIONING THIS I HAD NO IDEA
If anyone would like to read about R.B.G. in her own words, it’s a pretty good interview http://www.newrepublic.com/article/119578/ruth-ba…
Only partway through this article and I’ve already learned RBG does the Canadian Air Force exercises just like my grandpa used to; I’m torn between thinking this is hilarious and being strangely charmed.
I have taken that ferry! My family’s ancestral graveyard (lol I know) is nearby. My parents live in Maryland so my dad goes out to check on the place every once in a while. (The land is owned by someone else now, but we pay to have it mowed, etc.) I went with him a bunch of summers ago, and we took the ferry. I sent my dad this essay a few days ago. His response: “It was a little pointless, and it was a memory.”
I bought a great dress from Madewell and now I’m bummed. I just want quality clothes whose companies that aren’t leeching off the names of the dead or throw away the overstock instead of donating or allow their workers to die horribly in collapse-able buildings. Being a trendy American consumer makes me disappointed in myself all the time.
in my mind, they’re not leeching off the name of the dead. the brand was long gone and j.crew purchased rights to it from the person who held that copyright. plus, it’s not like the original brand was some paragon of virtue, at least according to the article
Honestly, that article came off to me like the author was annoyed that the actual heir didn’t offer to share the J Crew proceeds.
That Jezebel advice writer should read Final Payments by Mary Gordon, about a woman who spent her twenties being consumed by care of her father, and what happens to her after he dies. The ending is a bit silly, but it’s a really interesting novel!
Also Practical Jean, about a woman whose time as a caretaker for her mom turns her into a serial killer. But, y’know, in a fun way.
Speaking of advice columns, let’s talk about Dear Prudence today and the asshat boyfriend who pressures his gf into FLASHING TRUCKERS because he does so much for her otherwise. What is wrong with people? http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/…
That can’t be real, right? I always think they’re real – even the twincest one – but . . . really?
I am not big on Prudie’s answer to that one. Her reason for saying no is that there might be an accident? How about saying no because she doesn’t fricking want to?
I like that she called him out on being a creep, but…..way to MISS THE POINT, PRUDIE.
“Hip hop started out in the heart…” — just reading the Talib Kweli piece right now but I wanted to leave that there. “Miseducation” still has a very fond place in my own heart.
Ah Diana Athill. Always so relentlessly reasonable about the Big Scary Stuff.
That's true – I've been to longer Catholic weddings that did more of a full mass. We had a violin interlude because we wanted to have someone play the first piece my husband ever played for me (Massenet's Meditation from Thais) and couldn't figure out where else to put it. It was awesome. I got 7 minutes to sit down and enjoy my own wedding, and if anyone didn't enjoy it they were good enough to keep it to themselves. 🙂
Oh, wow, that's absolutely gorgeous! Smart choice on your husband's part. 🙂
And if she can only afford to do all this caretaking (in lieu of a "real" job) because her father's wealthy? The father she cares for physically and emotionally? It sounds as if that's a job, actually. She receives money from her father, in one way or another, which supports her so she can continue to take care of him. He's her patient, and he gives her money. That's kind of how employment works, even if the boundaries are a bit fuzzier in a family than in an office.
SHE HAS A JOB, YOU DINGBAT. SHE'S A HOME HEALTH AID.
Ladies, gentlemen, and assorted others: if you are, on your own, caring for both a declining parent and a minor child, and a romantic partner ever expresses any sentiment other than “that sounds incredibly difficult, I’m very impressed by you,” that romantic partner is a waste of your time, and probably also a waste of the precious carbon and hydrogen that make up our world.
I hope she gets to have a nice goddamn lunch ALL THE FUCKING TIME, because dealing with the heartbreak of having a father that incapacitated sounds like the most horrific thing.
We will not discuss the further trauma of having the horrific boyfriend, as we have already decided to nuke him from orbit and there is no point in wasting more time on him.
I don't think I've ever seen those eyes with a table flip before. They are perfect for this situation. Thank you.