oh no youre gonna get ghost hands
oh man there was just one stick before but now theres two this isnt good watch out bud
okay okay do not turn around but there are three sticks now
hoo boy this isnt good
theyre growing some kind of a sentient vine brain in between em all
this is no time for dancing!!
The Stick War Has Begun
The Sticks Are Our Masters Now, They Ride Us Like Horses
it will do you no good to resist the Stick Army, there are always more of them
Once Again The Sticks Have Prevailed
The Sticks Know Your Thoughts And They Will Punish You For Them
perhaps the Giant will save us
the Giant has not saved us and I am alone with my thoughts in a terrible desert
the knight rides where the stick tells him to ride
he does not even remember his own name
the sticks have chosen a Queen
watch out for that lizard at your feet though
Very fond of Queen Stick’s feline cohorts, both actual and figurative.
Ten bucks says that sunflower will turn into a stick when it dies
All things turn into sticks when they die. All things are sticks. Sticks are everything. All hail to the sticks.
I, for one, welcome our stick overlords.
All of us are full of bony sticks, they have infiltrated our very bodies.
THE STICKS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!
i love tarot very earnestly & sincerely, just like i love this.
Did not expect tarot to be so stick-centric… I guess I was expecting more specters of death?
For if anyone thinks he is something not controlled by sticks, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.
Thats only about 1/5 of the tarot – the suit of Wands. There are also Cups, Pentacles and Swords, as well as the Major Arcana which are the more portentous, iconic looking ones
That would be the Sword suit.
Oh, and the DEATH card.
The Fool: You’re an idiot
The Magician: Yer a wizard! (‘Arry)
The High Priestess: You will be accepted to Harvard Divinity
The Empress: You are enjoying good times by the old swimmin’ hole
The Emperor: You would like to enjoy good times by the old swimmin’ hole, but your employer’s vacation policy is terrible and possibly illegal, and you feel you’ll be branded as a troublemaker if you complain about it
The Hierophant: Nice hat! (Alternately, nice fingers)
Not for the first time on the Toast, I wish I could like a comment multiple times.
The Moon: Can you get those damn dogs to shut up?
The Tower: I *told* you this building wasn’t up to code!
Strength: Stop teasing that lion!
Oh no, the Happy Squirrel!
Now I can’t remember what the wands meant, anyway. I just see sticks.
The symbolism of the stick can also represent rods, poles, branches, or rounded bars. Inverted, they represent tree roots.
Pronounced “tarrot” to rhyme with “carrot.”
The Queen card is always how I imagined I would die – surrounded by cats, menacing invisible villagers with a stick.
Is she? Or is a stick menacing invisible villagers with a queen?
As long as there’s menacing happening, I can die happy stick woman.
no no its ok guys
you do your thing
just pretend im not even here
More Tarot jokes than you can shake a …well, you know how it goes.
I’ve fun-dabbled in reading tarot cards since I was a teenager and my favourite way to fuck around with them is to read them way too literally. I use this deck, which was actually the masters thesis for an artist named Monika Clio Sakki and I love them a lot, but there sure are a lot of blue people wearing tight pants and turning into amorphous amoebas. I like to imagine that this is predicting a real future that will occur sometime in the year 3214, and my head-in-a-jar will be all, “I told you so”
I assume somebody has drawn a tarot deck that just has a suit of wangs instead of cutely drawing “”wands” (only one letter off!) that look like them. don’t show me it though. I also assume there is one of the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books that includes an urban legend to scare boys about how innocently dropping a seed in their urethra will lead to an apple tree taking root and sprouting out the end. cause man that ace of wands. scary stuff.
actually wait somebody tell me, is penis wands even a thing in tarot symbolism or was that just Pamela Colman Smith’s personal deal. Or Arthur Waite’s? By no means tell me it’s all in MY head.
It’s totally a thing. Totally. It’s not all in your head. Unsurprisingly, occultists/magicians thought a lot about sex. So, no, the VIRILE FLOWERING ROD SYMBOLIZING THE FRUCTIFYING POWER OF FIRE AND CREATIVITY isn’t just a rod. Nope.
I’m trying to learn to read tarot cards (I have the adorable rabbit tarot by Nakisha VanderHoeven) and I’m finding it embarrassingly difficult to remember all the meanings. Help??? Advice??? Should I start with one suit, or learn the major arcana first?
just practice a while bunch and keep referring back to the book you are using. the inky thing that really locks the meanings into your brain is practice. also try to look for ways that the symbolism in your particular deck shows the meaning of the cards. ultimately your gut feeling counts for a lot, too, so try to pay attention to what your knee jerk reaction is to each card when you see it in a spread and figure out why you feel that way about the card. sometimes your reason will change a lot based on context, that’s ok to as long as you try to dig into why.
I have a tarot app that I find enormously helpful! It’s called Galaxy Tarot and it’s got a list of all the meanings of cards, what their reverse meanings are, the layouts of different spreads, etc. It even functions as a sort of digital tarot deck if you want to do a reading.
Do you keep a tarot journal? It’s been helpful to me to draw a daily card at random (I do not succeed in actually doing this daily), then look it up in a few books and websites that I like, write down the meanings that resonate with me, and finish up with a five minute free-write about the card. Also, I would recommend just doing readings a bunch, looking up (and writing down) meanings as part of the process. I tried to learn all the cards before I started reading a few years ago, nothing stuck and I lost interest for a few years. When I picked it back up this time, I decided to just start reading and learn as I go, and it’s been much more effective.
One of the things that helped me was to learn the “grammar” of tarot. Wands deal with these things, Swords with these things, etc. Likewise, ones are the pure essence of the suit; fours talk about stability; fives are always about conflict – all of this, filtered through the suit. If you get a handle on that kind of thing, you can – for instance – work out roughly what the 8 of cups is about, even if you can’t remember what the book said.
There are good resources out there on the monomyth-narrative nature of the Major Arcana, if you’re inclined that way. I tend to see the Majors as falling into groups (people, virtues, heavenly bodies, etc.), and they usually mean pretty much what the card indicates that they mean…except you’ve got to take a broad view with things like Death
Pretty impressed you only drew the wand cards, is that like a flush or something?
I love tarot and this.
I sometimes read tarot for friends, and have done so for like six years, but only do it now for people that I already like, because I don’t like them I’d rather not get involved.
I also used to see a tarot reader because it was cheaper than therapy but now I just go running because that’s free.
From the headline this reminded me of that time I tried to read Italo Calvino’s “The Castle of Crossed Destinies”/ The actual content was funnier and made more sense.
Thank you, this made me very happy.
We are on fire today! Must be all those dry sticks…
You say bitch like it's a bad thing? LOL
Mallory Ortberg = everything one wants in or from a brain
the knight rides where the stick tells him to ride
he does not even remember his own name
Chilling.
the knight rides where the stick tells him to ride
he does not even remember his own name
Chilling.
This is fantastic! Do more!
lol! Best tarot reading I’ve ever seen!