Oh my god, the George C. Scott version of “A Christmas Carol.” I’m never going to sleep tonight.
Birdpants+13
This was my dad’s favorite version, and we watched it several times every holiday season while I was growing up. I feel like my repeated exposure to this movie at a young age explains a lot about my anxiety issues.
darchildre+13
My family has watched that version of A Christmas Carol every year since it premiered in 1986. At this point, it’s become like a weird our-family-only version of Rocky Horror. We all have the movie memorized. We have things that get said in response to the film every year. We have lines that we all say along with the movie. Any time there’s music, *we sing along*.
I have watched that movie every year since I was 4. I am now 32. I still avert my eyes at the unveiling of Ignorance and Want every year because those kids are freaky as hell. (Also the Ghost of Christmas Present has no legs and that is terrifying.)
Ellen Fremedon+6
Best Christmas Carol ever. And not just because it has Turlough the homicidal failboat schoolboy from Doctor Who as Young Scrooge.
Earlier today, I was dying. Then I died. Now I’m dead.
Nick Pavich+78
Wicker Man is high in fiber. So at least you’re regular, Mall.
anachronistique+28
Bruce Bogtrotter: a hero to us all.
GreenGrasses+4
200 calories is probably equivalent to a day in the chokey.
Elsa is Emily+59
I wish you’d asked my permission to use the top photo, Mallory. I didn’t realize you were snapping candids at that holiday buffet. (You did catch my good side, though.)
Dayse D.+19
“scenes from my favorite sci-fi horror films” matilda?
cosmia+12
Everything about this is wonderful. I have not seen this particular iteration of A Christmas Carol – am I a bad person because I burst out laughing at a jolly man lifting his skirts to reveal two tiny orphan(?) boys?
sredni vashtar+25
“They are your children! They are the children of all who walk the earth unseen! Their names are Ignorance and Want! Beware of them! For upon their brow is written the word “doom!” They spell the downfall of you and all who deny their existence!”
(Sorry, I watch this version every Christmas…in between Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol and The Muppet Christmas Carol, which are far less freaky.)
projectbeks+6
You are not. If I had only seen a screencap of that, and not experienced a) the part of the book where that happens and b) the horror and seriousness of that particular version of A Christmas Carol, I would have lost it, too.
robotneedslove+49
Kids these days are so fattening.
OrpheustheMute+11
This is the only statement starting with “kids these days” that ever was or will be acceptable.
literarysara+115
tinypaperme+21
Aaaaand there goes my plan to have pancakes for dinner.
literarysara+30
Less than 100 calories if you scoop out the glaring eye! Probably more if you need a second bottle of wine, though.
Battle_Swine+14
omg I JUST ate pancakes not even 3 minutes ago
*tiny screams*
Household_Opera+12
If it makes you feel any better, I think that’s a thin slice of ham rather than a pancake?
…or maybe that’s actually worse.
impostressrabbitt+5
Yep, I’m sure it’s ham.
Either_Ada+15
I would much prefer this to watching what I eat.
LOOK AT ME EAT YOU. LOOK AT ME.
anninyn+30
I love you, you weirdo
redrobin5+29
Lady in the dog pic is like ‘oh man, he didn’t even get round to fixing the roof…and now I got bills to pay on my own’
Women Mourning Men in Art History
LeastBittern+18
Oh man, as long as you stick the the flesh of your enemies, 100 calories is a lot! Thanks for sharing!
mdjohnsto+4
I love you Mallory.
Toft+106
Turning back to look directly at the fiery wrath of God may be low in calories, but you really have to be careful with that kind of thing if you’re trying to watch your sodium.
CleverManka+29
booksmilesfeminism+9
I don’t know what I expected, but this was perfect.
Eliza+1
Caspar David Friedrich?
ramina+12
Man, I’m so glad that eating gods is low-cal! Goya knew what’s up.
deleted7410012+38
at first i was laughing, but then my laughter weakened, and i was clutching at the edge of my table, feebly scrolling through this hellscape.
i think the terror, in fact, may have burned some calories.
alicia+19
In a perfect world, this would be pinned to the top of every weight-loss website’s forum.
toughshitlam+20
Wow, I’ve been overestimating my food intake. Time for second breakfast!
tinypaperme+6
This frightened me.
boriskat+46
There are no calories, only Zuul.
Atalanta_Is+8
Are those shots of water from Solaris, by any chance?
malloryelis+8
HELL YES
Household_Opera+10
I remember that version of A Christmas Carol from some point in my childhood, and that scene freaked me out but good. Scary twins are somehow scarier than regular creepy children. Between those two horrifying scrawny kids and the twins in The Shining, there’s a film thesis to be written.
I am very pleased that both The Wicker Man and Don’t Look Now made this list.
Mrs_Peel+1
I have to thank Mallory for not including a screencap of the freaky midget killer that haunts my dreams.
Es_Petal+6
Now I’m hungry, dammit.
Mrs_Peel+1
Have you considered devouring your children?
RuncibleSpoon+6
Mallory, I love you with a love both pure and true.
_SazeracAttack_+6
Ha, my lecture on heteronormativity and queer theory next week uses the first picture in this….whatever this is. And my IRL friends wonder why I never shut up about The Toast.
rolotomassi5+1
Needs more Hey Really Geiger! Or the family from the X-Files episode Home
floridagal1+2
Well that was horrifying.
floridagal
Well that was horrifying.
literaltrousersnake
Late to the party, but: perfect.
MsNorrisTWagner+2
Obviously the second image is infinite Kraft American Singles. Which is the best kind.
Oh my god, the George C. Scott version of “A Christmas Carol.” I’m never going to sleep tonight.
This was my dad’s favorite version, and we watched it several times every holiday season while I was growing up. I feel like my repeated exposure to this movie at a young age explains a lot about my anxiety issues.
My family has watched that version of A Christmas Carol every year since it premiered in 1986. At this point, it’s become like a weird our-family-only version of Rocky Horror. We all have the movie memorized. We have things that get said in response to the film every year. We have lines that we all say along with the movie. Any time there’s music, *we sing along*.
I have watched that movie every year since I was 4. I am now 32. I still avert my eyes at the unveiling of Ignorance and Want every year because those kids are freaky as hell. (Also the Ghost of Christmas Present has no legs and that is terrifying.)
Best Christmas Carol ever. And not just because it has Turlough the homicidal failboat schoolboy from Doctor Who as Young Scrooge.
You are a terrible person. I love you.
EVENT HORIZON NEVER FORGET.
What is the last one????
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOi-pF1ho9k
“Where we’re going we don’t need …..calories.”
Earlier today, I was dying. Then I died. Now I’m dead.
Wicker Man is high in fiber. So at least you’re regular, Mall.
Bruce Bogtrotter: a hero to us all.
200 calories is probably equivalent to a day in the chokey.
I wish you’d asked my permission to use the top photo, Mallory. I didn’t realize you were snapping candids at that holiday buffet. (You did catch my good side, though.)
“scenes from my favorite sci-fi horror films” matilda?
Everything about this is wonderful. I have not seen this particular iteration of A Christmas Carol – am I a bad person because I burst out laughing at a jolly man lifting his skirts to reveal two tiny orphan(?) boys?
“They are your children! They are the children of all who walk the earth unseen! Their names are Ignorance and Want! Beware of them! For upon their brow is written the word “doom!” They spell the downfall of you and all who deny their existence!”
(Sorry, I watch this version every Christmas…in between Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol and The Muppet Christmas Carol, which are far less freaky.)
You are not. If I had only seen a screencap of that, and not experienced a) the part of the book where that happens and b) the horror and seriousness of that particular version of A Christmas Carol, I would have lost it, too.
Kids these days are so fattening.
This is the only statement starting with “kids these days” that ever was or will be acceptable.
Aaaaand there goes my plan to have pancakes for dinner.
Less than 100 calories if you scoop out the glaring eye! Probably more if you need a second bottle of wine, though.
omg I JUST ate pancakes not even 3 minutes ago
*tiny screams*
If it makes you feel any better, I think that’s a thin slice of ham rather than a pancake?
…or maybe that’s actually worse.
Yep, I’m sure it’s ham.
I would much prefer this to watching what I eat.
LOOK AT ME EAT YOU. LOOK AT ME.
I love you, you weirdo
Lady in the dog pic is like ‘oh man, he didn’t even get round to fixing the roof…and now I got bills to pay on my own’
Women Mourning Men in Art History
Oh man, as long as you stick the the flesh of your enemies, 100 calories is a lot! Thanks for sharing!
I love you Mallory.
Turning back to look directly at the fiery wrath of God may be low in calories, but you really have to be careful with that kind of thing if you’re trying to watch your sodium.
I don’t know what I expected, but this was perfect.
Caspar David Friedrich?
Man, I’m so glad that eating gods is low-cal! Goya knew what’s up.
at first i was laughing, but then my laughter weakened, and i was clutching at the edge of my table, feebly scrolling through this hellscape.
i think the terror, in fact, may have burned some calories.
In a perfect world, this would be pinned to the top of every weight-loss website’s forum.
Wow, I’ve been overestimating my food intake. Time for second breakfast!
This frightened me.
There are no calories, only Zuul.
Are those shots of water from Solaris, by any chance?
HELL YES
I remember that version of A Christmas Carol from some point in my childhood, and that scene freaked me out but good. Scary twins are somehow scarier than regular creepy children. Between those two horrifying scrawny kids and the twins in The Shining, there’s a film thesis to be written.
I am very pleased that both The Wicker Man and Don’t Look Now made this list.
I have to thank Mallory for not including a screencap of the freaky midget killer that haunts my dreams.
Now I’m hungry, dammit.
Have you considered devouring your children?
Mallory, I love you with a love both pure and true.
Ha, my lecture on heteronormativity and queer theory next week uses the first picture in this….whatever this is. And my IRL friends wonder why I never shut up about The Toast.
Needs more Hey Really Geiger! Or the family from the X-Files episode Home
Well that was horrifying.
Well that was horrifying.
Late to the party, but: perfect.
Obviously the second image is infinite Kraft American Singles. Which is the best kind.
ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
I feel like you’d be hard-pressed to get 100 calories out of the singed chicken from “Withnail and I”.
(God, I love that scene. Especially where they try shoving the chicken in the tea kettle, with its legs hanging out…)