How to Make a Recreational Women’s Ice Hockey League -The Toast

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

Ingredients:

1 neglected inner city ice rink

1 collective willing to administer the league for no pay

72 hockey players (see below)

Hockey players:

45 lesbians

12 people from rest of the LGBTQ spectrum

8 spaghetti girls (straight until wet)

6 heterosexual women

1 woman with frustratingly ambiguous sexuality

Divide hockey players into 6 separate teams until each mixture resembles optimal combination of ex-girlfriends, secret affairs and unattainable straight women. Whisk in flirtatious spectators, patient referees and passionate body contact.

Lightly brush on ice time at undesirable hours, threadbare hockey equipment and belittlement from male relations (“it’s not, like, real ice hockey, right?”).

Bring everything to a boil at end-of-season party with inoffensive retro music, drunken confessions and awkward smalltalk prompted by annual realization that all anyone actually has in common is organized competition inside a cold building.

*Spice up your garnish by replacing traditional plastic trophies with something practical, like durable picnic blankets*

Serve with seemingly endless awards ceremony.

Freeze leftovers until next season.

Ellie Gordon-Moershel is an independant audio producer, writer and occasional storyteller based in Toronto.

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+11 Vote up Vote down

redheadedwolf 115p · 535 weeks ago

A+, this is now on my bucket list.

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+29 Vote up Vote down

katiemcgillicuddy 125p · 535 weeks ago

How did I only just now learn the term "spaghetti girls"!?

ETA: Point is, I think we should start a rec hockey league.

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whizzdumb 100p · 535 weeks ago

As someone who helped start a slightly organized, free, recreation league (baseball), my reaction was "Yes! This rules!" and nowhere near the male belittlement that was not surprising yet still keeps me ashamed of the majority of my gender. Approaching peak Toady: could a male relation for once be supportive of a truly rad thing that women do?

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PonyAlong 102p · 535 weeks ago

This post is not only delightful but SO bang on; immediately forwarding it to a rec hockey acquaintance (she and her "chicks with sticks" teammates occasionally battle the men's rec team for fun and glory and good times are had by all).

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euchre_ 48p · 535 weeks ago

Is this a real league in Toronto? Can I join??

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2 replies · active 535 weeks ago

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supernanify 114p · 535 weeks ago

Me too, please!!!

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elliegeewhiz 0p · 535 weeks ago

Hi! I can tell you that this recipe was inspired by my time playing in the Women's Hockey Club of Toronto. I have my durable picnic blanket to show for it.

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How to Make a Recreational Women’s Ice Hockey League

ByEllie Gordon-Moershel

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