As improbable as it might sound, I am a female scientist, and I agree with Tim Hunt.
First of all, Sir Tim’s comments are based on his personal experiences, and are therefore incontrovertible. Three hundred and fifty years ago, Isaac Newton saw an apple fall and decided that gravity existed. Three weeks ago, Tim Hunt saw a woman cry and decided that all women are unfit to be scientists. Science is based on observations, which are the same thing as universal proof. Even I know that, and I’m just a woman whose brain is filled to capacity with yoga poses and recipes for gluten-free organic soap. Once, I was lured into a trap in the woods because I followed a trail of Sex and the City DVDs for three miles into a covered pit. Do you really think I could do something as complicated as thinking about science?
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Walmart, Amazon, eBay and Sears all announced bans on the sale of Confederate flag merchandise, amid an intensifying national debate over the use of the controversial flag.
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I’m going to be writing hilariously about s2 of True Detective tomorrow, but in the meantime, this is a more serious look at the first episode. I loved s1 a whole bunch, despite having the same reservations as everyone else, so I’m both bummed and amused that s2 is proving people right about the problems with the show as a whole.
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Our advice columns need more questions to answer! Drop us a line at [email protected]!
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ugh please read the middle-earth thing again and share it on social so we can lure more male pageviews
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INTO THE WOOOOODS:
1. The origin story of “I’m in the Wrong Story.”
Stephen Sondheim admitted that the first and “only” line he ever stole from an actor is “I’m in the wrong story.” The “Any Moment” lyric came out of a conversation he was having with Joanna Gleason, as they tried to parse out the Baker’s Wife’s seduction at the hands of Cinderella’s Prince.
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Fact-checking books (good for readers, good for writers):
By tradition and by default, books aren’t verified to anything near the standard of a magazine piece. Publishers don’t even consider verification their business. (Nor do newspapers or most websites, which don’t have the time for it; magazines are actually the anomaly here.) Every nonfiction book contract contains a standard author’s warranty: that every fact is true, and that its accuracy is the writer’s sole responsibility. Thus indemnified, the editor focuses on style and narrative, while a copy editor checks basic dates and names. Outside experts are occasionally consulted (but rarely paid) just to ensure that, say, some counternarrative of Napoleon’s death isn’t completely wacko. The publisher’s lawyer will review it, but only to flag libel, copyright infringement, and the like. If a writer wants to hire a fact-checker, she’s on her own. The house won’t supply one, help find or pay for one, or even build a fact deadline into the publication schedule. Any checker is effectively an employee of the writer, working on the side, and any writer who’s taken the trouble to hire him already has more than the average level of integrity and research funding. The rich get richer; the poor and the duplicitous just get printed.
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Kate Harding, one of my favourite fake internet friends, on her anti-weight-loss-journey.
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This is a long and fascinating read about people with craniofacial deformities, and the medical professionals who help them. It’s written by a man who has a bit of a phobia, but self-awarely so, and I think it’s well worth your time:
Seelaus gives him some practical care tips. Keep away from solvents, small children and pets – animals like to chew silicone. The ear will sink. “If you go swimming, if you’re in the ocean, wear your old ear,” she says. “Don’t put it on top of a radiator or toaster oven.”
I estimate the ear costs $10,000 – its fabrication took up most of Seelaus’s working week – and she does not contradict me. I also observe that Seelaus must be one of the few artists who hopes that her work goes entirely unnoticed by the public, and she doesn’t contradict me about that, either.
Happy though he is with his improved appendage, when I ask James if I could take a picture of him wearing his new ear, he refuses. He says he is worried, not about the photo’s appearance on Mosaic, but that it might later be lifted and included in some online “hall of monsters”. I ask several times in several ways, reassuring him that in my view this is highly unlikely. His answer is always the same: No. A reminder that looks are always relative, always only part of the story, and that our reaction to them fills in the rest.
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deleted comment of the week failed to fly under our radar:
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Trans parents on how they got there:
When Kayden met his husband, Elijah, a security guard at a pediatric hospital, they fell in love and got married, but never thought they would have kids. “To be honest, we didn’t change our minds. It was a surprise. I was off testosterone because I just had top surgery and wound up pregnant. We didn’t find out I was pregnant until I was already 5 months along,” said Kayden.
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fck a friendzone. I’ll brother zone you. I’ll call you my uncle. I’ll invite you to a family reunion and introduce you as my favorite cousin
— farwz (@farwzaz) June 2, 2015
Tags: feminism, link roundup, the internet
From Allie Rubin’s piece:
Another time I dated a coworker for three months before realizing he was actually just an extra large lab coat with a smiley face drawn on the lapel. (He currently holds a tenure-track faculty position at Harvard University.)
Ah. ahaha. right in the gut.
I can only name a handful of important women in science, and they are all dinosaurs in Jurassic Park.
https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/216014-clever-g…
This article goes perfectly with the linguistic discussion of sarcasm from yesterday.
I don’t even know if the person writing the Bible comment wants the Bible to be taught or not…? The last line is maybe satirical but it could also be that person’s opinion. I DON’T KNOW. Also, I would love if people dressed as biblical figures for church. That would be tremendous.
LARPing for Jesus!
Yeah, I actually feel like it’s a pretty severe indictment of the American faithful that there isn’t more bible cosplay.
Just your friendly neighborhood Jew popping in to say that Purim is basically Bible Cosplay. Related: who would want to be good girl Esther when you can be eff-the-patriarchy Vashti?
I was going to say! That commenter unwittingly (I think?) described liberal Judaism.
FIRST BORN MASK AAAAAAAHHHH!
WHAT EVEN IS THIS
my mom bought those masks!! we use them at seder every year!!!
I know what I’m bringing to next seder!! Oh man, my nephew is almost old enough to remember them / scar for life now!
Growing up Catholic, I dressed up for Nativity plays as a little kid (as an angel) and for live Station Of The Cross as a teen (as Veronica and Mary Magdalene). We would act out Bible stories in middle school/high school youth group too and these sometimes included costumes!
Okay, I remember that dude’s (person’s) comment in the original thread, and this is not exactly what it was about, but I have been thinking about this too:
In Catholic gradeschool we also had this 4th grade thing where you came dressed as your chosen saint (maybe probably All Souls’ Day? aka day after wondrous glorious Halloween), the end result of the costume depending entirely on both your own commitment and your parent’s (read: mother’s) time and interest and money for it. I mean, yeah, for all anyone’s investment in it meant?–cosplay. Not that that has no community-building or exhibition-of-community meaning. It just, was what it is. As a subsequent 4th grade teacher at my school my mom took such adorable and illustrative pictures of that day.
I was St. Jane. Also at Confirmation. I don’t remember the story, but at the time it seemed badass enough to not necessitate further effort.
Also I was an angel I think in preschool and definitely in 1st grade. My folks loved their performance Catholicism, what can I say?
Oh yeah, we had hardcore Passion Play performances by the junior-high-ers too… In front of the whole church and all. I mean, Catholicism, yeah.
There’s some local church that does a bit of street theater leading up to Easter in which a guy dressed as Jesus preaches on the sidewalk and a couple of dudes dressed as Roman soldiers stand by, presumably to drag him off at some point. I’ve never paid enough attention to find out how long they keep it up, whether he drags a cross around and then gets hung up on it for the weekend or what.
As for Bible fan-fiction… didn’t we just have a post about Madeline L’Engle’s Many Waters?
Haha, I will tell this story it is good. My mom once did Dramaturgy for a production of the Passion of the Christ at Villanova University (this is a university near Philadelphia that is run by Augustinian monks). And so, one of the things you do is that you do when you do dramaturgy is that you look up a bunch of other productions of this same play.
So, she found a production of The Passion of the Christ that was performed in Corpus Christi (of course), Texas, on Easter Sunday, some time in the 80s or 90s I think. And what had happened was, they didn’t do a real good job training their actors in how to safely use their spears, so when Longinus stabs Jesus in the side he really just stuck him. The lights go out after the climactic crucifixion and you can hear Jesus say, “Oh my god, you fucking stabbed me!”
Well, Jesus is bleeding all over the place, so they get him down from the cross and, rather than wait for an ambulance, throw him in the back of a station wagon. They were in such a hurry, though, that no one had time to get out of costume.
Imagine the experience of being a doctor in Corpus Christi, Texas, on Easter Sunday, when six Roman legionaries drive up in a station wagon and bring Jesus, bleeding from a wound in his side, into your ER.
That is pretty good theater I think.
I have heard exactly this story, except it was a production of Jesus Christ Superstar in Oklahoma, and included an understudy Jesus, and failure to reset the counterweights of the fly system to account for the notably lighter understudy Jesus, who proceeded to ascend into heaven with great velocity.
Hahahah, I could read about the technical disasters of Jesus plays all day.
oh, WOW
Little-known fact: the original Crucifixion was just a Roman theatre production with audience participation and a really unwilling “volunteer” from the audience.
Plus cosplaying as a character from the bible would ironically force Christians to read their bibles, which even people in “bible-believing” churches fail to do. Because they need to research exactly what Jeremiah’s dirty loincloth might have looked like.
Also, I think sexism in church might decrease out of fear if women showed up dressed as Deborah, Jael, or Judith.
I might actually go to church if I got to dress as Jael.
My mum totally did! Wore a robe, headband and a took big ol’ tent peg and a milk carton. She had her moments…
I’ve been working on my Lot’s Wife costume all week. I can’t wait.
It’s not like there *isn’t* Bible fanfiction already…
Some of it’s even in the Bible. Lookin’ at you, Revelations…
Is this a good place to put in a recommendation for the latest episode of the terrible books podcast, I Don’t Even Own A Television? Because they did The Curse of Jezebel, which is basically 60s Biblical fanfic.
While I refuse to believe Frank G. Slaughter is anyone’s birth name, the book cover is pretty epic:
Not his birth name, but a prolific writer–seems like biblical fanfic was his thing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_G._Slaughter
Is it wrong that I wish Surgeon, U.S.A. was an actual town name?
ahem, madeleine l’engle
Yeah, but then someone decides that they want to cosplay as Buddha or Gaia and then your on the slippery slope to Unitarian Universalism.
Yes, but this is a church with an openly atheist contingent. I think it’s already UU.
I would enjoy explaining the difference between writing a story where a character is trans and writing a story where a character is genderbent to this dude. For, like, a week long lecture series in which I read various stories out loud, and then discussed them.
Oh dear, this is sound a bit like dubcon.
That comment inspired a tremendous sense of relief that I am Catholic – no matter how many LARPers for Jesus churches are founded between now and the eventual heat-death of the galaxy, at least I know my church will never indulge in such nonsense. But other than that I genuinely have no idea what on earth he is trying to say.
Yeah, why bother with bible cosplay when everyone in the church ALREADY gets to dress up in costumes?
Is here where I break your heart by telling you that when I was younger the children would get to dress up as apostles and 12 of us would gather around the alter during the consecration? We had name-tag sashes and everything.
my first and likely last experience with wearing a beard involved a cosplay of the last supper. acrylic beard hair does not make for a solemn consumption of crusty bread. blech
I was legitimately confused why that comment got deleted for describing the only way people could get me to go to church. It took the comment section for me to realize it was a grim dystopian future to them.
I almost think the entire comment is meant to be read in sarcasm font? Like, the commenter is a Biblical literalist lamenting the idea of LGBTQ+ people (including other Christians!) being active in churches and becoming ministers/pastors/priests/clergy and thinks it makes as much sense as having an atheist active in a church, and they were attempting to be humourous about it and failing epically. To them, church is Serious Business.
Personally, I’d love it if I heard a passage read and then hear, “This was not written to us but it doesn’t mean we can’t learn from it.” Or, “This was not meant in a literal sense.” Or about a passage’s historical and cultural context. I’d also love for the phrase “The Bible is clear” to die in a fire.
Yes, that is exactly what the comment is.
Oh, that makes sense. At first, I though the commenter must have never been to an actual church. I’m an Episcopalian, and our priest says that Bible passages are “not meant literally” almost every sermon. I can think of several friends who are atheists for whom participation in Episcopal communities is an important part of their lives. Plus, the place is awash is cassocks and surplices and thuribles and maniples and what have you, so we’ve got dressing up totally covered!
But yeah, you’re right. It’s absolutely sarcasm.
Also, St. George is *actually* fictional. Like, the Catholic Church says so.
I think I would much prefer a world in which the Catholic church claims dragons actually existed.
Ask and ye shall receive: George R.R. Martin’s “The Way of Cross and Dragon”: http://www.lightspeedmagazine.com/fiction/the-way…
This also goes really well with the sarcasm article from yesterday, as a case in point in doing it wrong.
You may enjoy the Old Testament stylings of Robert Alter? He does his own translations (I remember The David Story being particularly good) and provides many many footnotes with cultural context. He also points out the puns, which is just awesome.
Oooh, I’ll have a looksee. Thanks!
Favorite sermon quote ever: “When we read the epistles, we’re reading other people’s mail. There’s a limit to how much we, personally, are being addressed here.”
Absolutely!
I used to attend a United Church of Christ, and once in Sunday School the teacher (a retired pastor) looked up and said, “I do not understand people who say the bible is the literal word of god. It says right here: this is a letter from Paul to the Ephesians.”
This is an amazing wonderful quote! Thank you, and thanks to your Sunday School teacher; I am totally going to use it in the future.
I live in Utah and there’s a huge celebration for the Mormon Pioneers coming into the Salt Lake Vally every year on July 24 (state holiday! courts are closed etc) and there’s a lot of Pioneer costumes worn that time of year. Also reenactments of handcart treks for teens. Not quite Bible cosplay, more general historical cosplay. http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/travel/destination…
This happens at the congregation I attend, at least during Advent– there’s a pageant, and you can be whoever you want in it. One of my choir buddies specializes in portraying Quirinius, the governor of Syria. I’ve been, variously, an angel, a shepherd, and a Wise Guy.
One of my friends went to the Into the Woods reunion and I will be forever, forever envious of him.
Also I have been having a FIELD DAY, on a variety of platforms, with the people defending that flag. One person claimed that Confederate memorials are super legit because hey, there’s a Nazi memorial in Detroit! At which point a few people responded with, “Um, if what you mean is the Holocaust memorial in Detroit, that is not exactly the same thing, also why does that even require an explanation.”
….oh my god
TBH I’ve frequently had the urge to do this, because men:
“While menstruating, I once savagely castrated a visiting speaker because I ran out of chocolate.”
Raise your hand if you’ve been to that academic lecture. Mm-hmm.
That deleted comment!! *cracks knuckles*
First off, good commenter, I’m not sure what kind of church you go to, but you may be familiar with how Jesus is known for his parables. For instance, when he says, “a farmer went out to sow his field” or “there was a man who had two sons.” Jesus LOVED metaphors. Jesus LOVED telling stories that weren’t to be taken literally. So I don’t know what church you go to, but I have heard priests say, MULTIPLE times, “Of course that’s not meant literally.” If you take everything in the Gospels literally, a significant percentage of our moral teachings become merely interesting anecdotes about daily life in the Middle East in the 1st century.
As for fanfiction, you may have heard of Dante’s Divine Comedy, an early example of self-insert Biblical fanfiction. I think we can all agree the world is a worse place because of it.
I WILL DEFEND DANTE FOREVER
I actually meant that line as sarcasm, but looking back, I see that line’s tone is completely open to interpretation. Whoops.
While, of course, the New Testament is an early example of a fanfic sequel/continuation crammed with OCs.
Another time I dated a coworker for three months before realizing he was actually just an extra large lab coat with a smiley face drawn on the lapel. (He currently holds a tenure-track faculty position at Harvard University.)
That line made me laugh while crying inside. Seriously, that piece is a masterpiece.
My favorite comment on that piece: “This cannot be serious.”
I will share the middle-earth thing on social media because I consider it my responsibility to share The Toast with my people (men), but I am definitely not sticking around if this place gets overrun with dudes.
I wouldn’t worry about them sticking around too long – and any that do are likely some of The Good Ones. I hope.
Don’t worry, if dudes start trying to comment, we’ll just add captchas.
{picture of atom} “What is this?”
If they answer correctly, then they can science, and thus they are men, and their comments will get auto-rejected.
“Would you say feelings are 1) very important, 2) not important, 3) objectively not important?”
“What is in your mug? 1) Coffee 2)Tea 3) Male Tears”
“Women have contributed 1) nothing of note to history 2) a few household related things, maybe basket weaving? 3) What the fuck is wrong with this moronic question? I haven’t got enough time in the day for this kind of crap.”
Okay but I actually do think there should be multiple-choice captchas with options that terrible people won’t be able to resist.
“It is unfair that bars have Ladies’ Nights, but not Men’s Nights, True / False?”
“What about bring your son to work day?”
Ugh, they already caved on that one since it’s now “Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day” and has been since 2003. :c
I remember the heady days where I participated in the first “Take Our Daughters to Work Day” when my mom was doing PR for the Teamsters and I was interviewed by Ms. Magazine, although I don’t think they used my quotes.
“Prior to the inclusion of boys, the Ms. Foundation contended that the program was designed to specifically address self-esteem issues unique to girls and initially resisted pressure to include boys. Much of this pressure came from educators who did not wish to include the event in their curriculum given that their male students were not encouraged to participate.”
the horror
That would be a really good litmus test for any asshole, probably.
“Correct” answer: “that cool retro design you see on vintage appliances sometimes”
Or, pictures of molecules. Correct answer: “shampoo”
Use electron-orbital-cloud-model pictures of atoms instead of the “50s nuclear energy” ones and see how long it takes ’em ;).
My boyfriend somehow found that piece by himself (despite not being a regular Toast reader), indignantly demanded to know why I hadn’t told him about it, and then spent like an hour texting his best dude friend about it.
IT BEGINS
Today’s piece on medieval deer has finally brought things to a head for me, I am going to have to sit down all my dudes and re-negotiate our link aggregation agreements, because I need to know if I’m responsible for linking them to all of the Toast content they will find most pleasing, or only the things I think they need to see RIGHT AWAY, or if they’ve got The Toast covered. Because there have been all sorts of aggregation mishaps recently.
Man, I need some link aggregation agreements.
Most of mine have been mostly implicit– for example— my lawyer life partner is responsible for Supreme Court stuff, including letting me know when major decisions I care about are expected, so that I can have ScotusBlog up ahead of time. My best-ex is responsible for imgur. I specialize in Vlogbrothers non-video content (tumblr, twitter) ….. (among other things).
A friend actually has a bunch of explicitly negotiated agreements with her two partners. Topics, websites, etc are all assigned to each of them, in the same way that one of them is responsible for cutting the grass, and one is responsible for filling the Brita.
This sounds like it would be too stressful for me.
On the other hand, maybe not as stressful as being the only person in my circle of friends who shares anything good, so.
Yeah, I’m not sure that I could handle the way they do things. Perhaps it’s different on the outside than on the inside of their dynamic, but their whole approach seems much more like WORK to me. Especially since they seem to rely on each other not just for content of interest, but also for basic news.
My more implicit agreements mostly involve things that aren’t as time-sensitive. And we also all proactively ask if we think we might be missing something, or if we think someone already knows where to look for something.
Sometimes this ends up working out in hilarious ways. Best-ex thought that he and I had an ongoing conversation about the best way to cook a steak, and reported back to me about his results between flipping once and flipping every 30 seconds. I had no idea why he was telling me this, and linked him to several sources indicating that for perfectly cooked steaks, one would want to sous-vide. His initial reaction was that it was ridiculous, and I agreed that it was quite a bit of money to spend for marginally better steaks, but since we were discussing it, it seemed relevant.
He now owns a sous vide circulator.
There was initially one person on my fb who had Toast links covered. Now, multiple people share most articles. It’s good times.
Tor.com linked it in today’s afternoon roundup; I think that’s plenty of coverage.
You are going to get some sad puppies here, soon, that is going to be a bummer. I am not sure we can fool all of them with cleverly-designed misandrist captchas.
Do the Sad Puppies read Tor.com? I genuinely don’t know, but that seems…inconsistent of them.
I really hope some stores that NEVER sold Confederate Flag merchandise come out and say “Hey! We never gave this crap space on our shelves because it’s terrible!” I mean, I’m glad Walmart, Amazon, et al aren’t selling it anymore, but the fact that they sold it in the first place… ugh
Yeah, that’s galling me too, the way these companies are acting like they JUST discovered the Confederate flag in their inventory and had no idea what it meant before now. Like their CEOs weren’t alive when all the anti-integration and anti-civil rights protesters were waving it like crazy in the ’60s.
I kinda feel like Ta-Nehisi Coates’ perspective on “doing the right thing after getting called out” is valuable here; it sucks that they had those things on the storefronts, but they’re removing them. Even if they’re only doing it in reaction to public outcry, that’s better than not doing it at all, or worse, pushing back against efforts to remove them. I agree, it’s awful that it took a tragedy to get to this point, but at least some change is happening.
True! I don’t mean to totally dismiss it. But I will be cynical if they paint it as a moral stance when it’s more clearly about their bottom line.
That fact-checking piece is largely true, in my experience, but ignores a major segment of the industry, which is university presses. UPs exist in a grey area between “anything goes, seems legit” trade publishing and “we will verify every last fucking comma” New Yorker-style factchecking. UP books are all peer reviewed, i.e., read by an expert who writes a detailed report of his/her assessment of the book. Is that expert pointing out every wrong date? No. Do mistakes creep in? Yes. Are you more likely to get a final product that’s not full of bullshit? Also yes. (And this is why the ongoing controversy about On The Run is so surprising to me — Chicago should have caught that part at the end, where the author drives around with a bunch of guys out to murder someone.)
Mm, yeah. I work for an indie academic press that competes largely with UPs, and our process is pretty much the same — we rely mostly on external (expert) reviewers to tell us if something is a bunch of nonsense. It’s not perfect, but it’s not a total Wild West anything goes scenario either.
So really this is just a piece about Malcolm Gladwell…
I never gave a crap about fact-checking until I worked on a magazine and then I was like WHYYYYYYY don’t books do this this bothers me greatly. So. It’s about TIME a publisher showed some guts and started doing this. and that inspirational quote is probably not by who you think it’s by. and in a perfect world peer review AND fact-checking. thanks.
That piece about trans parents is seriously touching.
Articles like that on mainstream websites make me feel like yes, this world is going in the right direction, despite all the backlash and the fact that progress is slow. I want to hang on to that hopeful feeling, especially when there’s also people defending the confederate flag
Yeah, those were great stories.
That dude at the bottom nursing his baby…I just melted. Hooray for these families!
The Into the Woods reunion was so fun and yes, magical, and I am still glowing with happiness days later that I got to see it.
Chip Zien sounds the same. His voice hasn’t changed at all. He sang both parts of “No More,” one of my least favorite songs in the show, but he sang it to an empty stool meant to represent the departed Tom Aldredge, and it was actually affecting.
Ben Wright (Jack) is now an investment adviser, but Christ, he still has an amazing voice. It did make me smirk when this balding guy in a velvet suit was being chased around by Bernadette during “Your Fault,” though.
Speaking of Bernadette, she was amazing, of course. She did “Stay with Me” and “Last Midnight” and was in the Finale (of course), and just hasn’t aged a day, at least from my vantage point on the balcony. It almost goes without saying that she sounded great.
What else? That’s Robert Westenberg’s real voice, whereas I thought it was a ludicrous affectation. It works for him, though. The incomparable Joanna Gleason was a little shaky during her first number (It Takes Two), but by the time she got to “Any Moment/Moments in the Woods,” she was perfect.
Sondheim himself said that if you closed your eyes, you could think it was the cast recording, and it was (amazingly) true! The one thing I was worried about going in was that it would be a pale imitation, but it was actually wonderful and maintained the illusion that your favorites don’t have to decline and grow old and die. Still made me a little sad I couldn’t see the original show, though.
I thought of you when he did No More! I’m glad it didn’t ruin your enjoyment 🙂
The whole thing was amazing, but as soon as Bernadette started singing it was just…wow. They are all so talented, but she is just on another freaking level entirely. Pretty sure she’s not even human, really. She is UNREAL.
Also, I sat next to the World’s Most Enthusiastic Gay Man, which made the whole thing even better. He was GESTURING ALONG with the songs. I was already psyched, but that was some infectious enthusiasm!
I’m pretty much rolling around on the floor with envy. My desk is covered in theater geek tears. Just to see Bernadette! Let alone everyone else! Amazing – I’m glad some Toasties went and reported back. 🙂
Also now I know what I’m listening to for the rest of the day.
I’m guessing there weren’t, but do you know if there were any official recordings being made? That sounds like such a great experience, I’m glad Toasties were there!
Not sure! I didn’t see any cameras at the 2pm show, but I also couldn’t see the lower level.
Mmmm the “anti-weight loss journey” article really got me in the feels, y’all. I’ve just moved at the beginning of the year to a city where I knew no one, started a new job, and really launched into “the adult world” for the first time, and this stress + super sedentary new office lifestyle has helped me gain at least 20 pounds since January. And I was already not small at all before that.
While I really *want* to do something active to feel good (take a dance class, regularly walk or something) and burn off some stress, articles like this make me wonder if it’s possible for me to start trying to be healthy, on my own, without falling into some noxious self-hating cyclone?
(I once offhandedly commented on Facebook about being glad I bought aesthetically pleasing lettuce, because it made lunch happier, and my aunt, close to me and with her own weight struggles, commented on it like, “aww your mother would be so proud that you’re eating salad!” and I kind of wanted to throw up and never eat lettuce again. :-/ )
First of all – UGH, your aunt, that is terrible.
Second – I feel your feels on every level. The super-sedentary office lifestyle is a killer – I have been at my current job for 3 years now and am definitely at least 20 pounds heavier than when I started (granted, my last job had me on starvation wages and running around constantly… I was miserable but at least I was active, if not anywhere near “thin”). It is depressing, and I really hate being sweaty so even the thought of exercising grosses me out. I have found some enjoyment in hikes and outdoor activities this spring, but now summer is here and I just want to be not-sweaty again. I am struggling to find a class or routine that I can commit to and it is so. hard. I feel like I’m on the brink of change, so maybe tonight will be the night I hit the gym. Maybe.
Preach about the summer. Why is the window between “ooh it’s nice to be outside! I’m going to walk around because I love the outdoors!” and “AAGH NOPE STAYING INSIDE FOREVER” so small? Also summer clothing is the freaking worst to try and feel good in and motivate yourself to move around in.
And yes! all my memories of being thinner are coupled with “being miserable”, i.e.: the one time I significantly lost weight was when my appetite vanished into thin air, which turned into 3 months of physical depression, and everyone around me brightening up and going “oh you look so GREAT, what are you DOING?” (answer: being miserable and sick, thanks.)
But that encourages me too, that maybe I could hit the gym tonight as well! Walk on the treadmill, start slow. 🙂
I actually really love summer clothing better than the rest of the year, especially office clothing. But that really only started when I swore off pants in favor of dresses AND I found a solution for chub rub. Now I’m all about sauntering around the known universe in my dress collection – knee-length eshakti for work, maxi for the weekend.
Please share with me your solution for chub rub. I have finally conquered my hatred of my fat white legs after 30 years, but walking around in skirts and shorts becomes painful in approximately four seconds. Things I have tried: deodorant, Monistat anti-chafe stuff, bike shorts (work under long skirts but not shorts or minis, also add uncomfortable layer of insulation). Things I have not tried: trussing my upper thighs in the manner of Sunday roast, walking aspraddle like an Oompa Loompa, installing small portable fans at crotch level.
I like Undersummers: http://undersummers.com/
They’re sort of bike short-y but feel lighter and are shorter. Not as good as bike shorts in terms of staying down firmly – at least if you’re me, your chub sort of rubs shorts up higher and higher over time – but feeling less insulated is worth it. The lace-banded ones have better staying power imo.
I buy out of their grab bag for the most part – it’s cheaper, and I feel like no one is meant to see them, so who cares what they look like. Plus I love to get a surprise in the mail. 😀
Those are cute, I want all the prints.
I got one set in a print so loud I was actually like, lol this is going to make me feel like a clowwwwwwn. Turns out I love them and they’re adorable to just hang out in and feel cute. I don’t think they sell that particular print anymore, but their others are fun, too.
Thanks for the tip! Just ordered and can’t wait to see if this is the end of my quest to find something that works well.
Fingers crossed – I hope they work out great for you!
So cute, but I have a Thing about polyester–I’m currently wearing cotton bike shorts because it’s breathable. I’d enjoy having something a little lighter, but do these things breathe?
I live in a relatively cool climate, but still.
I have had success with boxer briefs! Depending on the cut, a lot of them are short enough that they aren’t noticeable under short skirts. Plus, they ARE underwear, so the issue of extra layers is taken care of and they breathe better than bike shorts. I’m wearing them right now! 10/10, would recommend to all and sundry.
I like the fan option though.
A friend who swears by that solution is the one that got me started on a shorts-based quest. I might just have tried the wrong size, or generally it doesn’t align with my body, those barely lasted a one-day trial before I was screaming to have them off.
I have good results from Body Glide, but I don’t know whether it’s substantially different from the Monistat stuff. I don’t get the ladies’ kind in the pink packaging, just the regular.
Also sometimes Jockey Skimmies “slip shorts,” but the largest size is not all that large. And they fit kind of weird. And the wicking ones fit even weirder but the non-wicking ones get unpleasant in hot weather. Basically, they work but I should probably try Undersummers.
The “ladies’ kind” and the regular Body Glide are the exact same stuff. The smaller, pink-er stick just fits more easily in a handbag. And is subject to the pink tax, if you compare price per ounce.
The regular is also available in a smaller stick! I bought it for traveling once.
Wait, no, I checked their website and the travel size regular is smaller than the full size pink. So it would fit in a handbag even better, but it is a little more per ounce because travel size.
I think the pink supposedly has extra moisturizing or some other nonsense to justify the pink tax, but my thighs are not a part of my body that generally has dry skin, so I don’t care.
Heh. I’m carrying the larger, laptop-capable bag today, so I can’t check the pink label (the full-size version fits this bag plenty fine). But if you’re right, that would make me sad for reasons I can’t fully make sense of. I’d… rather pay the pink tax for a tangible reason like bag-friendliness than for, well I mean, who on earth would need extra moisturizing on the inner thigh? Or anywhere else prone to sweat-induced chafing, since those are by definition your sweaty areas?
I mean, maybe it would help if it was foot chafing you were worried about? But they have a separate foot kind, so that doesn’t seem likely to be it. Or nipples? But I think chafed nipples are mostly a dude problem, mine are fine because my bras don’t rub against them the way a shirt would. Also because I don’t run marathons.
Well, for me at least, moisturizing before I go out helps reduce the inner-thigh-chafing. (You have to wait for the moisturizer to be absorbed, though.) My totally non-scientific explanation is that moisturizing makes your skin more elastic and just generally more resilient against stress, so of course it also helps with chafing.
For me, the winning solution was Jockey’s versions of slipshorts. They stay in place (unlike bike shorts I tried), breathe comfortably enough that I rarely notice the difference vs wearing nothing, don’t catch on skirt fabric, and mostly don’t squish the belly chub in uncomfortable ways. (Although I should maybe try a bigger size this summer.) The downside is that they are longer, especially in the leg-direction, but a coworker who has tried both the regular and “short” version said the latter will ride up over a day while the originals do not. My solution to this is to intentionally buy a few pairs in strong colors (red! navy!) and then decide it’s an actual fashion statement when they hang out from my shortest dresses.
http://smile.amazon.com/Jockey-Womens-Hosiery-Ski…
The runner-up was and still is the Body Glide sticks. They work well for short bursts, but it’s really obnoxious when you realize you’ve been lazy about reapplying them and the next five blocks are going to leave you with a week’s discomfort if you don’t do it *right now*.
I bought a pair of the Skimmies based on Toast Twitter recommendation and was so so bummed because they were terrible and rode up too high to be of any use – and I just checked my order and saw that I did, in fact, get the short and not the regular length. D’oh. I’m going to try again with the regular/longer length – deodorant on the chubrub spots works for me most of the time, but only up to a certain temperature. (Learned this the hard way on vacation when it was 85f+ every day.)
My spouse swears by Body Glide, which he says works great and lasts all day.
Band-Aid makes an anti-friction stick for preventing blisters that has worked wonders for me
I also hate being sweaty! For me, some of it comes down to not wanting to get my clothes sweaty/not wanting sweat stains to show on my clothes. I found that if I wear clothes I’ve…I don’t know, designated to be my sweaty clothes (like a black t-shirt, sports bra, and mesh shorts) I can handle getting sweaty, especially if I have time after I work out to chill and stop sweating before I change into other clothing.
Good luck!
I really like some of the Wii Fit U activities. A big part of what I like is that they don’t involve putting up with weather or spending a lot of time traveling to the gym. Though obviously this would work better if I had A/C at home. And the game is a bit focused on calories, which I manage to mostly ignore but it might be a deal-breaker for some people.
There are active games for most platforms now, if you don’t have a Wii U but you have some other console. I haven’t played DDR in ages, but I do remember that it didn’t focus on calories much, and I suspect the same is probably true of other dancing games, so they might be worth considering.
Is your office air conditioned? I’ve taken to roaming through my (air conditioned) office building whenever I need a break from what I’m working on. During a typical workday I can get in about 3 miles (according to my Fitbit) with surprisingly little effort and — most importantly — basically no sweating. Anything that involves getting sweaty in the heat/humidity is pretty much a no-go for me. It’s made me realize that I am 100% going to be an old lady mall walker.
First: That aunt is TERRIBLE, I am so sorry.
I think for me, the key with exercise was defining what that “feel good” meant in the “exercising to feel good” category. There was a period when I felt “good” after exercising because I had done something correct to lose weight, and that really ended up just being a shitty feeling, because the exercise was tied to the goal of losing weight, which was wrapped up in a lot of negativity. Then there’s a “feeling good” that’s like, okay, the exercise itself really sucked and I hated it, but I feel more cheerful and better in my body afterward because endorphins. And that was okay for me, but not ideal.
What started me exercising consistently is actually enjoying and looking forward to the exercise itself, the hour I spend in class instead of the way I felt after. For me, it was Zumba and Pilates and Krav Maga and to some extent running, although obviously that wouldn’t work for everyone. Exercise became a hobby I wanted to do rather than a thing I felt I had to do because I’m overweight. And this is coming from someone who literally exercised not at all in high school and actively cried when we had to do the one-mile run in middle school, so…NOT a lifelong athlete.
I haven’t really lost weight, but those activities have helped me feel so so much happier and better in my body than I used to.
I really agree with this. I was also the always-picked-last-for-team-sports in high school (no joke: I once got lost during a run we had to do because I got so far behind the group), and I resented it, so I never managed to keep at it for more than a few months at a time because basically, being chubby was preferable to that kind of torture.
Then I got together with the boy, who LOVES to exercise. I mean, he’ll do random push-ups just because he’s cold. I’d always told myself people who were into exercise were just kidding themselves, but that was so clearly not the case with him I had to adjust my way of seeing it.
Now? Still not into team sports (I’m just not coordinated, plus I hate the feeling of being the weakest link), but I have a cross-trainer in the garage and I actually miss exercising when I don’t get the time for it. The shift is that now I don’t see it as something I have to do to get a certain result (i.e: be thinner), but as something that’s rewarding in and of itself, because it makes me realize how awesome our bodies really are and what they can do, because getting a sweat on on purpose can feel oddly gratifying, because I always feel more energetic… and because it makes water taste AWESOME (beer, too. But only after the water!).
I’m still not super consistent and sometimes I just can’t find the time (and in winter SAD makes it hard to motivate myself). But I exercise semi-regularly now, and the fact that I’m still not thin just makes me go ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
For a certain type of person (examples: you, me, probably quite a few people reading this) school phys ed classes seem perfectly designed to discourage healthy, self-motivated exercise later in life.
I literally was just trying to explain that to a coworker. He did not get it, sadly. Apparently my tales of gym-class humiliation/physical torture made him “nostalgic for gym”. D:
My middle school gym teacher literally stopped the entire class so she could use me as an example of how not to set a volleyball, which may or may not have had a significant effect on my sports-based self-esteem.
Middle school is awful enough already, good Lord.
I was maybe 10 or 11 when I had this gym teacher who would always make the two biggest, strongest boys captains for whatever godawful team sport he had in mind. They, of course, would pick their big, strong, dudely friends first and slow/fat/unathletic girls like me would stand around feeling awkward and sad until there was nobody left to pick.
One day Mr. P. got a wild hair or something and had two girls pick teams. For the first and only time in my life, I was called first…and right along with me, all my unathletic buddies, beaming like we finally mattered. After a couple minutes of this, the gym teacher lost it and started screaming at us that it was unsportsmanlike to pick your friends first and this was garbage and he was making two guys captains as of now.
I am very proud of 10-year-old self and her friends for taking it straight to the principal. What makes me saddest about the whole thing was that this man had two daughters. I wonder how they’re doing.
Yessssss. It was both physical and emotional torture for some of us – I’m all for kids doing sports and think they need to move more, have more recess in school! However, gym as they did it when I was in school (late 80s/90s) made me hate exercise and be afraid to move or sweat in front of other people. It’s taken a lifetime to work past some of that and realize that moving feels awesome and sweating is healthy. :/
My high school PE class was actually pretty good, but it wasn’t able to completely reverse the damage from elementary school PE. If I was super rich, I’d set up a program for developing and promoting good PE.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the problem with gym class is that it’s taught by people who liked gym!
Book rec: The Unapologetic Fat Girl’s Guide to Exercise and Other Incendiary Acts, by Hanne Blank. I was dealing with the same thing – how do I do stuff to make my body feel better WITHOUT falling into the disordered eating + exercise spiral I’ve worked so hard to overcome? And this book made me feel like my skull had been cracked open and the light poured in. It’s definitely coming from a firm fat acceptance and Health At Every Size perspective, and I just found it so great. Heartily recommended.
100% adding that to a list and trying to find it immediately. That sounds wonderful. I’ve just not read anything on “exercise” that came from that, as you said, Health At Every Size perspective. Thank you so much!
I totally love Hanne Blank. I also have issues with exercise/disordered eating/orthorexia/etc., so I may check that out.
I’ve never been a thin person (I’m in the awkward zone of not thin, and while not suffering from major size discrimination, definitely got ‘dem “not thin” feels) and what’s really been instrumental in getting to a point of peace with my body size is taking up circus arts, yoga, and dancing. Having skill-based hobbies that involve moving my body got me off exercise as chore and more as a way to have my body do cool things/ something I derive satisfaction and joy from. I started with hoop-dancing and made my way through other prop-based fire performance into aerial acrobatics and handbalancing. (I am having trouble putting a picture in here but @ye_of_little_faith on instagram)
I also love going to spin class (YMMV, spin instructors are not known for not encouraging weight loss). It’s hella weird, in my opinion, but biking to club jams in a dark room is so much fun for me.
TL;DR It’s totally possible for you to find somethings active that you love and won’t make you become a self hating cyclone. Try things and if it’s not making a positive impact on your life, stop.
I love these kinds of activities, but they’re just too expensive. The only things I can afford are free, and my grocery budget is super small, which makes healthy eating difficult. I just get so discouraged when I remember how good I felt (and how thin I was) when I could afford dance classes and yoga and fresh produce. Now I feel like a poor, fat blob.
I’m aware that class privilege times into my ability to do the things that I think are fun. Being poor sucks and I’m sorry you can’t afford to do the things you love.
Thanks. I’m just having A Week and feeling extra chubby because of the 100+ weather and looking online for weightloss advice and everything I read is “What worked for me is (this thing that costs money)” and I don’t know what to do.
There are a quite a lot of exercise videos on YouTube, so they might be a thing to try, though of course working out with a video is different from working out with a class.
Not to get too “bootstrappy” but you could investigate if any local yoga studios do work-study. Also, hooping has a relatively low cost to enter and can be self-taught via the internet(that’s how I learned) but I know that any monetary barrier to entry might be an issue.
ugh, I know those weeks. And yeah I’ve been hesitant about doing Zumba, (even though it looks like SO much fun!) because everywhere I find it it looks super expensive? My Mom and I used to walk around a park with a nice path next to our house in the summer, and then go home and do crunches (uggggghhhhhhhh but it did make me feel like I was doing *something*.)
But my *favorite* thing I’ve ever done, was get fitness dvds from the library, with my cousin. There were a variety of fun dance ones, which was right up my alley, and also yay free. I wish I had any grocery store hacks, but I have ZERO KNOWLEDGE of how to budget food like at all right now. :-/
oh girl don’t fall into the poor, fat blob feelings!
the only exercise that I have ever been able to really commit to (because I am broke, and not competitive, and have apparently minimal discipline…) is walking. I hate going to the gym – it makes me feel so self-conscious – and while I like yoga and dance quite a bit, they’re so expensive that I haven’t been in years. but walking – walking is free, walking is time for thinking and listening to music or audiobooks or talking to old friends on the phone… and can save me money on the bus or the train or gas. and always makes my mind feel better after. I think I average about 5 miles a day now, between hopping off one stop early coming/going home or taking an evening walk, it’s been good.
<3 love for your journey.
Circus arts sounds like SO much fun. I didn’t even know that was a thing normal people could do until I saw some ladies hanging from gorgeous sky ribbons in the park. Totally checking your Insta out!
🙂 it means so much just to hear those recommendations and it’s so encouraging to know that it’s *possible* to hopefully find something I enjoy. It’s so intimidating to launch yourself out into a world that’s known, as you said, for being hostile to your body sometimes, but those all sound like positive recommendations. 🙂
Circus arts are the best! THE BEST!! I have been taking classes in aerial silks and rope for the last year and a half and I just can’t get enough. Hanging out with a bunch of funky weirdos is so refreshing, plus now my arms and shoulders are totally jacked.
It could just be the particular studio where I take classes, but I feel like the atmosphere is really supportive and non-judgy; lots of different body shapes represented, even among the instructors. Definately try some classes if you get the chance. Aerial arts are HARD (be warned!) but so, so worth it.
Ohhh man, your aunt. I’ve had that kind of exact reaction before, at times I mention offhand something about having had a salad to my mother and I get a “Oh, I’m so PROUD of you for eating a salad” * in response, with an added emphatic, “It’s really a good idea for you to try to eat healthy food.” And then despite the fact that salads are totally delicious, I suddenly want to avoid them entirely out of some kind of weird guilt/anger/defiance combo that I can’t even begin to parse out.
I also want to do an active thing that makes me feel good, now that the weather where I am is ramping up to the “too much like boiled hell for a pleasant walk” point . . . I don’t know, I think I have the same trepidations, though, about falling into a cycle, etc, etc. And having a strange terror of somehow losing weight and then having to rebuff my mother’s onslaught of commentary on how much more acceptable I look now, assuming that I’m doing whatever I’m doing in a specific effort to lose weight.
* Okay, okay, my mother probably doesn’t technically say she’s proud of me
Ugh the worst is that I really DO like salad but I have developed some sort of allergy or intolerance to some kinds of lettuces (romaine and iceberg for sure, not sure about others), so when stupid people say stupid things like “just eat more salads” I get super sad. All I want is a goddamn ceasar salad!
First, a the-toast-style disclaimer: This might not be helpful, so forgive me if it doesn’t apply.
Have you tried chewing your salads really, really well? It sounds nuts, but it works for me, most of the time. I was super-bummed when salad (especially romaine, my favorite) started to give me digestive issues, but I’m now able to tolerate it after taking a break from raw veg, and slowly introducing salad back in small amounts and chewing it really well.
We must be secret siblings! When we go out for dinner and my mom asks me what I’m going to have, I feel a MOUNTAIN of judgment behind it! It might not really be there, but I’m pretty sure it is.
The biggest #1 thing that got me to consistently exercise without falling into a miserable self-hate spiral was to find exercise that I absolutely LOVE doing, as opposed to exercise I forced myself to go to because Exercise Is Good For You. I used to go to the gym and force myself onto the treadmill; I felt good after, but at the time it sucked horribly, so I would eventually slack off and stop going.
Now, I do krav maga (which has the added benefit of making me feel like a badass, even if I’m still kind of a squishy delicate blossom) and I ride bikes, both of which I love doing; I look forward to classes and plan out errands so I can do them all by bike instead of transit.
(For me, at least, a side benefit is that having sports I love has also helped me with eating problems — I tend to just stop eating entirely when I’m sad, which is not great when you have depression and you’re sad literally all the time. On days where the thought of eating something makes me want to lie down and die, I’ve been able to coax myself into getting some nutrients with the thought of how much energy I’ll have in krav the next day.)
Anyway — in general I’d strongly suggest going to classes with students of many different body types and ages — classes often have some variety in what you’re doing on any given day, which keeps it from getting boring and horrible, and instructors who can work with a range of ability/strength/flexibility/etc are great. I’d also suggest a skills-based class — krav was really good for me to get out of the mindset of, “I’ll do this exercise and get skinny” and get into the mindset of, “I’ll do this exercise and my punches will be stronger and faster”.
I go to the same café, like, every day and get either the soup or the salad. And a co-worker (a dude*, this will not surprise you) heard me mention this and said “A salad? You should eat a real lunch!” I said “I happen to like salad. What’s wrong with genuinely liking the taste of lettuce?” and glaring. He was chagrined.
*Same dude who once congratulated me for reading a WWII non-fiction book. I made the “I can’t believe you said that” face and said “Seriously?” God bless this dude he is never cranky when I point out that he’s said something stupid. He always gets it out and apologizes.
First, I’d suggest checking out all of the articles under the “fitness” tag here. They’re all really affirming, and oriented around becoming stronger, or working out without hurting yourself, or whatever, and don’t focus on whether or not a particular workout will make you sexy. I don’t even lift, bro, and the Toast’s lifting articles make me feel strong and confident and amazing.
Step 2 is related: set a goal of a thing you’d like to be able to do (not “fit into this pair of jeans”). Pick up [heavy thing], walk/run/bicycle to [place that is far away], dance for an hour, whatever you’d like to be able to do that you can’t do now. I’ve found that smaller goals like that (“I will turn over the compost pile without being a pile of rubber bands the next day”) make it easier to keep motivating myself, and I’m focusing on my body from the perspective of how I accomplish my goals, rather than on how well it fits into somebody else’s needs and desires.
I am 100% with you on aesthetically pleasing lettuce. For similar reasons, I only buy my swiss chard in the rainbow option. Heck, I only started eating swiss chard at all because it came in rainbow. Team pretty vegetables!
TEAM PRETTY VEGETABLES. We need shirts. (also I have always wanted to try try Swiss chard purely for the rainbow-ness. What a delightful thing.)
I nominate romanesco broccoli as our shirt graphic! Also when you break it apart it makes tiny christmas trees, which is awesome. But really, there are so many pretty vegetables! Especially when you put them together in pleasing color combinations.
Also also, swiss chard sauteed in garlic and olive oil is delicious. Vastly superior to kale as far as I’m concerned. And it stays pretty colors when you cook it!
Re: fact-checking in books–I’m a freelance editor/copy editor/proofreader; my work spans the gamut but I kind of specialize in books on Japanese culture and cookbooks, since I have expertise in those areas. A couple times I’ve been asked to work on books that had presumably passed through the developmental editing stage and were ready for layout, and found them not only riddled with factual errors but (in two cases) based on completely erroneous premises. I rarely turn down work, but I passed on those without a second thought. Some other poor soul took them on and they made it into print, completely unquestioned until they got (justifiably) pilloried by Amazon reviewers.
A big part of the problem is the culture of book publishing, at least in Asia (I don’t know about US houses, but from this article I suspect it’s similar). Lead editors at many publishing houses are under enormous pressure to produce a ridiculous number of books per year, so if a proposal sounds like it will sell, they give it the green light, no matter how questionable the content or the author’s qualifications (especially, I’ve found, nonfiction books on martial arts). And copy editors aren’t usually paid enough to give a shit beyond ensuring grammar and style are correct. Out of professional pride, I usually check things like dates and the spelling of place-names, and if I know something is questionable I’ll flag it for the editor, but sometimes they choose not to follow up.
Anyway, it’s interesting that publishers of magazines–which are usually thrown away and forgotten within a month–take fact-checking much more seriously than publishers producing books that will be around for years. And websites! Is fact-checking a priority for the Toast, I wonder? (Not saying it should be–but if you need someone… ;-))
A friend of mine recently got his book back from his editor and found that it had essentially only been read for proofreading level stuff. This was an intensely researched book, so that was fairly disturbing. It was a university press, for the record.
Oh, man. That’s the other part of the story, too–authors who have done their work properly but need help presenting it, and their publishers just kind of shrug and put in serial commas. And often (again, in my experience) do little or no work to publicize the books. I really feel for your friend.
I have, with great trepidation, worked directly with authors (no publisher involved) as a developmental editor on two occasions, and lost my shirt both times. Shepherding a book into being properly is an incredibly time- and labor-intensive process. You have to really understand the author’s needs, not run roughshod over them, but still make sure their work is presented in the best way possible.
And even with the best of editors and good publicity support, many, many writers are in the same boat as this person. Something in this system is really broken (she says, as if it weren’t obvious to all involved).
“Nothing tastes as good as it feels to like yourself, right now, exactly as you are.” Kate Harding. You are a beautiful person. Can I just bury my head in your shoulder and cry for a little, because YES.
No, donuts taste better.
I put it to you that Reese’s Chipits (like chocolate chips, but peanut butter-flavoured) taste exactly as good as liking myself right now, exactly as I am. The fact that I get to enjoy both those feelings at once is magical.
I’m opening my fake internet arms to you right now. <3
youuuuuuuuuuuu
GOOD SIR, YOU CLEARLY DO NOT KNOW FANDOM, AND HAVE NOT KNOWN IT FOR A SECOND OF A MINUTE OF ANY DAY OF YOUR LIFE, OR YOU WOULD KNOW THAT WESTERN RELIGION IS THE FANDOM OF THIS HYPERBACTERIAL SPACE ROCK, and like honestly read your fucking foundation texts it’s called fandom_wank
Hyperbacterial space rock!!!
*thumps down the collected edition of the MsScribe saga*
the original is probably longer than all four gospels
I keep meaning to turn that into a legit ebook…
Wait, does that mean YOU wrote it? If so: I bow down.
Journalfen’s server seems to have been especially robust for the last, like, two weeks.
they’re switching to a Dreamwidth platform, and it’s slow going
just in case you hadn’t seen (i was so upset that there was a big Cassie Clare/John Green thing going on last week right in the middle of it and no F_W to explain it or laugh at it it was awful)
New Cassie Clare wank? It’s like Christmas in June! Who’s she plagiarizedquoted in her writing journal without attribution now?
I’m not really 100% sure which is why it was so frustrating to be without F_W to help me figure it out and I will NOT give the Daily Dot my clicks after that disaster with Aja a few months ago.
I think CC did some interview about Internet Haters, and right around the same time, there was this Hate Post going on Tumblr about how John Green is a creep, and all the CC/vlogbro crew came out to defend him – I saw it because Maureen Johnson made this huge post.
It was just really strange to me that the CC interview and the JG hatepost happened at the same time, though I doubt there’s any connection. And CC’s interview seemed to be prime F_W gossip material (except it’s another thing I refuse to give clicks to, so I haven’t read it)
CASSIE CLARE/JOHN GREEN IS LIKE THE TIME TRAVEL FANTASY WANK OF MY FUCKING DREAMS
I WILL NOT REPHRASE ANY OF THAT COMMENT
Weirdly, Durwood Rhodesia appears to have achieved his goal of starting “a new civil war”– with the Confederacy getting its ass kicked all over again. Maybe the USA can finally get it right this time.
This open atheist has no interest in attending church, but thanks.
Lol I know. It’s like the OP thinks THAT’S atheists’ master plan: wear down Christians’ defenses enough so they can finally ATTEND CHURCH and then sabotage the whole thing. THAT’S what atheists are all about. It’s all a scheme to get back inside the church.
Yeah, that was the weirdest. Plus I definitely like having my Sunday mornings free. Sunday mornings are my designated clean the apartment lazily and also laze around and maybe wander to the farmers market? time.
Sunday tends to be my “play Civ while hungover” day…. You are clearly adulting better than I 🙂
Well, sometimes I eat leftover takeout for breakfast before all that. 😀
That was weird to me, too. I knew one atheist church-attender. He came to services because Spouse. (Also, eventually because Friends, and because he liked Jesus in a platonic, admiring but non-worshipful kind of way.) If he was trying to sabotage the church, rather than to help in the garden and to have discussions with people he liked, he did not do it very effectively.
Once when I was young and thin
I could see my genitalia
But now I’ve got another chin
and feel a bit a failure.
But struggle as I might I’m fat
a state I’m still not used to
And some days I imagine that
I’ll stage a weight-loss coup
In the meantime as I age
I care less and less
but I’ve given up on dreams
of romance I confess
It’s easy for advice to say
accept your chubby fate
but dealing with it day-to-day
I view my gut with hate
And so I will continue on
my fruitless weightloss journey
hoping I may come upon
some way to be less curvy.
You’re becoming to Link Roundup what Rappin’ Jake Sisko was to DS9 reviews on the AV Club. (Just to be clear, that’s an excellent thing.)
Having a hard time reading the site lately–crashes shockwave flash (this has happened forever) and now i can’t read (or type this comment) without the page jumping to the middle every 10 seconds.
There’s an epidemic of video ads that make the page jump up to where they are right now — not just on this site!
Yeah, I was having the same problems and (whispers) had to un-whitelist the site from my ad blocker. It was just getting unworkable.
I had to deactivate Flash, but it’s all been working much better since then. Not perfect, but crashing, clicking on something only to have something else pop up, and comment misthreading have all improved dramatically for me.
(obviously we shouldn’t have to deactivate Flash in order for everything to play well with each other, but at work I never need flash anyway, so, it’s been okay)
me too – every few minutes the page jumps up to the first comment in the comment section.
I use adblocker and make monetary donations right to the Toast so I don’t feel guilty for robbing them of ad money
I was so surprised when I learned that books aren’t always fact-checked. I once worked as a puzzle editor for a company that mass-produced these cheapo puzzle books you can buy at the dollar store, and we fact-checked everything. Sure, we were paid a pittance and created all our puzzles in MS DOS, but not even word searches went into the world unchecked for factual errors or misclassifications. With the entire internet at your fingertips, it really doesn’t take that long.
I don’t know about most trade non-fiction publishing, but I believe academic publishers, especially in the sciences, always have an accuracy checker to verify not just the author’s writing, but also the various photos and illustrations in textbooks. They’d be drawn and quartered if they didn’t.
TIME TO LAUGH AT SCATHING BRITISH HUMOUR.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/robinedds/times-have-i-go…
Very good, thank you.
Who fact-checks Anne Coulter’s books?
Could it be…Satan?
actual person who sat behind me at pirates game last night: “you know what they’re gonna come for next? the american flag. blacks are gonna say it’s disrespectful and depressing.”
is this really the right wing talking point on the issue? ??
(spoiler: he was a old white dude)
Who the heck are these people? I went to college in South Carolina, and my FB feed is full of friends from there — including the white, conservative ones! — cheering that the damn flag is going to come down. I’m probably in a bubble in that I don’t friend overt racists, but my experience growing up in the South is that the Confederate flag is viewed as extremely low-class and I don’t get why someone in Pittsburgh would be defending it as some sort of symbol of freedom??
Who are they? My relatives, apparently. My fb feed is FULL of their “LIBERALS HATE THIS” “REAL history of the confederate flag” “Sorry Democrats” etc etc garbage articles.
Like, ok. Maybe it technically is the flag of the army of Tennessee. (or whatever. I’m not super clear on that part.)That is not the point, guys!! The point here is not to be historically accurate about a flag! The point is that it symbolizes hate of African Americans and has been used to terrorize them and therefore should not be displayed all over the place! (or anywhere).
Also, the framing of the argument as democrats vs republicans irritates me. Why does it need to be a partisan thing? Why can it not just be a human thing-like, this flag is used to hurt people. Can’t that be a good enough reason on its own for not displaying it?
/end of poorly expressed rant
Ugh, it’s the worst when people dig in and try to make something non-partisan into a partisan thing. The good news is as much as these jerks want to believe they have conservatism as a whole behind them, they soooo do not. Among the white conservative Southerners I know — people whose thoughts on Ferguson were “Why don’t those people just cooperate with the police?” and “Well, he was stealing!” — no one likes the flag. It’s viewed as racist even by people who want to believe we’re all colorblind and everyone should just be pulling themselves up by their bootstraps, you know?
I’m not sure if this is coming off as too #NotAllRepublicans or if I’m being very clear either. I think my point is just that these justifications for the flag are so very off-base and even people who don’t think very critically about race can see that.
I think I get what you’re saying–that it’s so far out there that even people who say some pretty awful stuff will recognize that it’s hurtful and inappropriate. Which, good for them. I’m glad that they recognize that, and maybe that will help them to become less racist somehow.
Idk. I’m going to have a chat with my relatives.
Because apparently Republicans don’t have a problem with characterising themselves as the party of people who are pro-hurting other people.
Should I save my True Detective feelings for the post tomorrow? MILD SPOILERS. I’m intrigued by the new season, and will, of course, support Tim Riggins in all of his endeavors, but everyone’s coming off as just a little too pat in the damage department. What was fun about the first season is that you started thinking McConaughey was the weirdo and Harrelson the straight guy, but then the background for McConaughey’s nihilism unfolds — and meanwhile, Harrelson is revealed to be a piece of work, too. Episode 1 of season 2 was more like a checklist: OK, he’s messed up because of his wife’s rape! Her mom committed suicide and her dad’s a hippie! He’s got some sort of traumatic burns and a death wish! Done!
ALSO if you want to get an investigative reporter off your trail, I’m not convinced that beating him up and stealing his files is the way to do it? First of all, maybe he has backups? Second of all, it’s that going to be SUPER SUSPICIOUS? “Oh we thought there was corruption, but then the journalist reporting on it got beaten to a pulp, so we figured there was nothing to see there,” said no editor, ever.
Was it just me, or was there some really terrible dialogue in this episode (which is weird cause it’s the same writer right?). When Rachel McAdams and her dad were fighting and she’s like “talk to your daughter” and he was “I just did” all I could think of was Oscar Bluth and Buster.
Never do anything out of hunger! Not even eat!
that salon article really validated my disgust at the doubling down on sexual violence and women’s trauma REALLY HURTING MAN FEELINGS. i started to suspect game of thrones was similarly doubling down on the rapes in response to criticism, and to see another show just entirely start out with the same effect just annoyed the shit out of me. so deeply over it. does any human have any other motivation or life event besides being raped?
Yeah, I watched the first handful of True Detective season 1 eps and it just…did not turn my crank. Like I may be pretty full up for the rest of my life on plots involving emotionally tortured men trying not to aggressively feel things.
And it’s just that SO much of the way men in general, in stories are even allowed to feel things is solely framed via their relationships with women. Obviously fridging is the most extreme, but even the GOOD emotions, there’s often a woman somewhere to serve as an intermediary.
i submit this exchange between my viewing buddy and i as my full commentary on this season:
him: a dead body! finally!!!
me: at 57 minutes in, a dead body should not be the most exciting character we’ve met.
Oh man this should probably really wait for Nicole’s article but:
http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/06/nic-p…
Re: Pizzolatto
“He could’ve stepped out of a novel by Steinbeck. The writer as crusader, chronicler of love and depravity. His shirt was rumpled, his hair mussed, his manner that of a man who’d just hiked along the railroad tracks or rolled out from under a box. He is fine-featured, with fierce eyes a little too small for his face. It gives him the aura of a bear or some other species of dangerous animal. When I was a boy and dreamed of literature, this is how I imagined a writer—a kind of outlaw, always ready to fight or go on a spree. After a few drinks, you realize the night will culminate with pledges of undying friendship or the two of you on the floor, trying to gouge each other’s eyes out.”
BELOVED TOASTS, this is my Wednesday gift to you: photos of Matt Bomer and Charming Tater at the LA Gay Pride Parade.
In case that description was not enough to make you want to click through, I offer this sample:
His neckerchief! Such an adorable dog bird!
I am 100% there for this!
So much Bro. It is beautiful *tear*
I have a cousin who hates Mr. Tater SO MUCH, and I legitimately can’t understand it. Even if you don’t find him attractive, how can you not be charmed by his dude-liness? He’s so silly! I dunno, I just don’t get the hate she has for him. 🙁
I kind of felt that way about him when I just knew him from photographs as That Guy Everyone on the Internet Has a Crush On. It was like, bleh, meathead-looking dude, boring, hard pass, why does everyone even like him so much?
Once I started seeing evidence that he is a charming and lovable goofball with an actual personality, I was forced to reconsider my stance. Still not attracted to him, but I heartily approve of the fact that he is basically the human version of a big dog who thinks he’s still a puppy.
Mr. Tatum is so Not My Type– I favor small and squirrelly– and in still photos he looks like guys who used to bully me. BUT
(1) he seems really sweet, in every article / interview I’ve ever read,
(2) he is able to laugh at himself, which I appreciate, and
(3) once he starts moving, I can’t stop watching. Dude has really great body-awareness, which I lack in myself and admire in others.
I just want to put my hands on him. What has he done. I don’t usually go for no-neck muscle dudes! I barely go for dudes at all! I think it’s the combo of a) his hips in Step Up b) he was SO GAY in The Eagle c) he was SO FUNNY in 21 Jump Street. Then his ahahahaha email hit the internet and it was like, knock-out, done, I’m in love.
I’m probably going to see Magic Mike XXL 15 times. I can’t even work up any shame, just confusion and the hots.
Bless you. You are too good to us.
Thanks to the Basil-leaf Candlestick post yesterday, I understand why Charming Tater works.
**jawdrop**
(translation: Thank you! That’s so sweet!)
ETA: oops, that was supposed to be a comment on the lovely Pride photo above
Meanwhile, in The Guardian: “Kevin Wheatcroft has quietly amassed the world’s largest collection of Nazi memorabilia. Now he wants to share it with the world.”
NOT ENOUGH NOPE.
Can it be like the guy’s collection of Hitler’s art on that episode of Justified, where he had burned it all up and just had the ashes? that would be ok I think
(spoiler: he was a old white dude)
SHOCKER
On the subject of the anti-weight-loss journey article, has anyone read Sarai Walker’s Dietland? I read it last weekend and want to discuss 😛
Deleted comment is…the UUs?
Haha, I sent you a plea for advice not long before reading this, and was gloomily wondering how much of a backlog you had.
Is this the religious equivalent of guys saying to lesbians "You just haven't had the RIGHT dick yet"
Being forced to attend church twice a week at my private religious school and actually reading the Bible made me an atheist. The last day I ever had to sit on that uncomfortable wooden pew with a hundred-odd fellow teenage girls and listen to some old guy monotonously drone on about a bunch of other even older guys, I vowed I would spend my Sunday mornings volunteering with the community and actually doing something useful instead of watching the minutes of my life tick by while pretending these horrible old men had anything to teach me about morality and compassion. 25 years later, I still do volunteer with my community and Jesus has zero to do with it.
Honestly if the OP thinks we're jealous of church and praying, he's deluded. If we were, we'd you know, be religious. It's not exactly hard to join up.