NED: I’m the swimming man
I’m here for your wet backyard squares
when you’re in the pool it’s bad suburban ennui
but when im in the pool it’s brave

 

NED: hi i hate rich people but i love money
can i use your pool
also is there anyone in your backyard i could have sex with

 

NED: can i use your pool

DON: I mean we’re just sitting down to dinner

NED: no i know
i’m just using it to swim home
i’ll just be here for a minute

DON: why don’t you just walk home

NED: sidewalks are for conformists
can i have a drink before i go

 

NED: remember that time we used to have sex
that was great wasn’t it

SHIRLEY: not exactly

NED: i must return to the sea now

SHIRLEY: this is my pool

NED: how can you OWN water
hang on a second is that my wagon

SHIRLEY: i thought you couldn’t own w-

NED: you can own WAGONS
don’t be ridiculous
im taking this wagon home with me