One dish that will raise eyebrows even among the adventurous is New England Clam Chowder, a creamy concoction of potatoes, bacon and, yes, seafood. An acquired taste, but certainly one appreciated by natives of this corner of the world.
These potato dumplings are charmingly known as “tater tots” in the regional dialect.
You may be familiar with the “elevated” oatmeal of New York’s tasting menus, but for my money, nothing comes close to the authentic taste of a bowl made by this Missoula grandmother.
Many of these restaurants have a tendency to over-spice to appease the tastes of tourists, but I asked for my cheeseburger seasoned in the traditional way–with both salt and black pepper.
Down a New Jersey side street can be found a special regional delicacy: pizza. A combination of tomato sauce and cheese on simple flatbread, it was initially brought to the Americas by Italian settlers.
The province of “California” is home to many juices, which, according to ancient wisdom, are rumored to have healing properties.
A bite of cream of mushroom soup is like biting into the history of Wales. One savory spoonful and you’re transported to mam’s kitchen, the traditional cooking place in a Welsh home, listening to the stirring ancient tales of traffic on the A470 into Cardiff.
It is customary to drink milkshakes through a straw, despite the fact that many are so thick as to require a spoon. This duality is one of many traditions Americans hold dear.
Your best bet for getting a real bread bowl is to take an afternoon adventure to the source: Panera.
Beware the macaroni and cheese: many report suffering “Smith’s Revenge” after ingesting too much. One traveller on a recent trip to Atlanta’s Lenox Square mall was forced to seek shelter from locals inside the Neiman Marcus after ingesting the mysterious delicacy.
Don’t fear, the “hot dog” is not made of its titular meat. The name is merely a colloquialism. The Dog is a type of taco, really- pork or beef sausage, flavored with native spices, nestled inside a wheat flour bread pocket. The natives first noticed that the naturally occurring salts could be used for food flavoring when certain rocks, when licked, tasted better than others.
A lot of us hear the word “Gelatin” and our mind immediately goes to the oft-maligned Midwestern “delicacy” made from the hooves of the plowhorses too elderly to work the traditional farmlands of their masters. But the children of second- and third-generation immigrants who fled their beloved land of their birth are reclaiming the flavors and putting an American twist on them.
Tags: everything is exotic to someone, exotic, food, I love all these foods, is a hot dog a taco?, is a taco a sandwich?
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A hot dog is totally a taco!
And I appreciate your clearing up the common misconception that Americans eat dog.
I read that first as describing “white people” as exotic food… and I was like “here comes the blancmange!”
“Her skin was like milky coffee, without any coffee”
“His skin brought to mind a bowl of custard… unmarred by any fruit or toppings”
When I get varicose veins, I’m going to refer to my legs as blue cheese
There’s a line from American Gods where Odin talks about his preference for woman pale enough to see “the veins running through them like a good cheese.”
I’ve always found that image… evocative.
I thought the same thing, mostly because of another article I read. I assumed it had been on The Toast but apparently it was on Buzzfeed: http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/if-white-characte…
“He looked at her longingly, as he imagined her exotic, mashed potato skin laying gently against his…”
“Her skin was like creamy, unflavored yogurt.”
The musical ONCE ON THIS ISLAND, about racial/class divisions on an island based on Haiti, is surprisingly popular with high schools and community groups in predominantly white communities.
This means that there is a separate edition of the script that makes the divisions strictly class-based, and removes lines such as the one describing an upper-class, lighter-skinned characters as having “skin the color of coffee with cream”. Sadly, I don’t think it changes the line to “cream mixed with cream”.
I’ve always thought of myself as being the color of blanched almonds. Or really old-fashioned library paste, one of the two.
I refer to myself as “boiled chicken”.
I really liked really like that one.
I think it’s safe to say that if a gyro counts as a sandwich, then so does a taco. Right? Also, if you kick the tortills up a few sizes, you end up with a wrap, which I would also categorize as a sandwich.
If you kick the tortilla up a few sizes, don’t you end up with a burrito? Which puts you in the same place, sandwich-wise, but I can’t pass up an opportunity to meditate on burritos.
oh dude! There was a court case between Qdoba and Panera where it was legally determined that anything wrapped in a tortilla does not count as a sandwich. (File under: Things that I inexplicably know.) http://www.stuartkaplow.com/library3.cfm?article_…
I love that people had to argue about that in court (and I mean that sincerely – I find it fascinating the kinds of things that have to have legal definitions, and if I wasn’t completely turned off by every other part of being a lawyer, I would totally be a lawyer).
Ah. Well, then. I stand corrected.
I’m being oppressed by your barbed humor!
A friend with grandparents in Oklahoma refers to green jello fruit salad as “the bitter herbs of the Gentiles.”
You are amazing. Your friend is amazing.
Ahem. Green jello fruit salad is a vital part of any Mormon gathering that involves food. The rules governing the making of the salad are strict and unyielding. Anyone who deviates from the proper mixing of the salad will find themselves immediately cast into outer darkness, where there only food is jello salad made with carrots, rasins, and mayo. Sometimes, the outer darkness salad is brought to warn Sister Jones that she’s been playing a little too loose with the jello salad rules, and she better straighten up, or lose her soul.
My mom’s green jello salad is a little bit of heresy. Canned pears and cream cheese! Mixed with a blender!
When we brought it to a family dinner with her cousins in Spanish Fork, I thought they were going to faint! (their potluck assignments include green salad and Salad, the first made from lettuce or spinach, the second, Jello)
But what about green-Jello salad?
me when I read about any kind of jello salad:
I just had a deep shudder of revulsion. Do people actually eat this? Or make it? WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE? Help a native New York Jew out.
This is the carroty one. Recipe: http://sewingoursanity.blogspot.com/2012/11/green…
My mom’s looks more like this:
and the recipe is similar to this, but with all lime jello and she folds in whipped, unsweetened cream, so it sets more like a mousse.
http://www.thecasualcraftlete.com/2015/03/03/lemo…
She also makes a special one for Thanksgiving with black cherry jello, jellied cranberry sauce, and sour cream which is fabulous, tart, creamy, and refreshing. The lime one is super, super sweet
It’s so colorful. I’m really entranced.
I’m trying to picture what jello and olives taste like, and it’s just beyond the scope of my imagination. I know what they taste like independently, but I just cannot get them to connect.
horrible and disgusting. That’s what it tastes like. Also horrible and disgusting is canned fruit topped with mayonnaise and maraschino cherries on a bed of iceberg lettuce. Cottage cheese instead of mayo is a little better, but still not great.
The 60s weren’t a time of fantastic fresh foods.
If nightmares have a flavor, I imagine that is their taste. Once in my youth was enough. Never again.
From what I’ve read, once upon a time, we didn’t sweeten fruit gelatin and the lemon and lime fruit flavors were more palatable with vegetables such as olives.
Your mum’s sweet creation sound fab (although confused -does she blend before or after setting?) and all other kinds of jello salad look like something someone invented that looks very pretty, colourful and all, but Eeeeevil to the tastebuds. Eeeevil.
Before. She heats the juice from the can of pears (and enough water to make 1 cup) puts it and the jello in the blender with the pears and cream cheese and blends until smooth, then folds in half a pint of cream, whipped and spoons it into a bowl. It sets a more like a mousse and can’t be unmoulded. The cranberry one she heats the water, puts it and the jello powder in the blender, blitzes for a bit, and then adds sour cream and a can of jellied cranberry sauce. It also sets more mousse like than regular jello, but is firmer than the green one and can be made in a jello mould. I have a couple that belonged to my Grandmother in the 50s which are fun to use for that one, and otherwise just hang on the wall with my kugelhoph pans.
My grandma makes your mom’s jello recipe for every family event. We’ve told her we don’t need a jello salad but it’s so ingrained that she has to do it.
I’ve noticed that the “new” green jello is Snickers salad, though. Every church event seems to have some version of it: http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/candy-bar-appl…
I’ve never tried it, though it was an option at a baby shower I went to a few years ago. Just yuck.
My reaction to Snickers salad: what the fuck?
(Do I want to know what “frozen whipped topping” is? I don’t think so.)
It’s just Cool Whip, which can be eaten frozen or refrigerated. It’s in contrast to Reddi Wip, which has far more actual dairy in it and comes out of a spray can and thus probably should not be put in the freezer.
Yep, it’s Cool Whip, which binds together the apples, grapes, and chopped-up Snickers. Truly the grossest, saddest way to feed people fruit.
Dear heavens, the olives…I was until this point comforting myself with the pleasing fiction that the green Jello salad might be some sort of tart-apple deal. Nope, guess not.
I love jello (mixed with fruit juice with fresh fruit inset), but that olive incarnation looks irredeemable.
Okay, here’s what’s not fair about this is that it looks waaaay too much like my cucumber gazpacho recipe I got from a chef in Miami.
There’s short story by Louise Erdrich in which a grandmother can’t take it anymore and makes a jello salad full of nuts and bolts and random bits of hardware.
Ah! I read that story ages ago and I’ve often wondered who wrote it. Thank you!
OMG, hot dogs ARE tacos!! [Keanu Whoa GIF]
Uniquely, the “baked beans” of the northeast region of the United States are not, in fact, baked, but stewed in a traditional mixture of molasses, brown sugar, onion, and pork product. This practice has given Boston, USA its immortal nickname of “Beantown,” and one indeed can hardly walk the streets of Cambridge without hearing the latest youth gossip about new types of bean.
In New England they have restaurants which combine Roast Beef and sea food, though not in the same dish, and no one sees it as odd. But the food is often quite good.
(is that actually only a New England thing, or is it elsewhere? now I want Kelly’s.)
I’ve lived in New England for 20 years and honestly have no clue what you’re talking about! But I’ve also never had a lobster roll either so…
as megalesias points out, it’s possible this is only in the area around Boston that this occurs. This menu gives a good sense for what I’m talking about http://www.kellysroastbeef.com/menu/ .
I mean, I am Boston area but also didn’t know about Beantown thing until aqwaplop’s comment. But this just looks like a restaurant that has multiple items on the menu, some including roast beef and also seafood (but not together?)? Cuz that’s everywhere.
Keep your eyes peeled. They’re typically mom & pop kind of places, more takeout than fine dining, and they have names like “Annie’s Roast Beef and Seafood.” Once you start noticing them, they’re everywhere.
Surf ‘n’ turf.
ice cream shop menus may confuse adventurers with references to “frappes” and “jimmies”, but you may know these items by a different name- in the rest of the US they’re called “milkshakes” and “sprinkles”. The differences are purely linguistic, we assure you.
wait what is a sprinkle?
also, based on this google search, I think roast beef and seafood restaurants might be even MORE local than that. Huh.
That sounds super gross! I’ve never heard of it before and am not a New Englander, so maybe it is a NE thing.
My absolute favourite restaurant sign (I have never been in, though I hear the food is fine) is “Wells House of Pizza and Roast Beef”. (Southern ME.)
I think seafood in a casual setting is a regional thing. If you live far from the ocean, you’re probably not going to trust the people who make your hot dogs to safely prepare shellfish.
As far as I can tell, it’s mostly limited to Boston and the North Shore (… of MA, to be clear). (not really in other parts of MA, with the possible exception of south shore/cape, which I am less familiar with, definitely not a thing in RI in the same way)
For others— This isn’t the sort of thing where a dozen sandwiches and also seafood is served— this is a thing where the roast beef sandwich is an entire part of the menu, with about 5 different sizes offered.
This article and the comments have shattered the believability of like six food-magazine tropes. (For me, an unusually gullible person)
“everything is exotic to someone” is the best tag and should somehow be incorporated into Common Core standards.
I would pay money for an anthropological explanation of why we are expected to drink milkshakes with a straw when this is always maddening and often impossible. But only if the explanation is delivered in the “‘exotic’ culture description” tone.
“It’s understood among U.S. natives that in order to truly enjoy the milkshake, one must use a ‘straw.’ But this has nothing to do with hay – in fact, the modern American straw is an individually wrapped tube made of flimsy plastic, with an ingenious accordion-like design to allow for flexing to better reach the mouth. These are manufactured by the thousands, shipped all the way from China by the boatload, and will end up discarded almost immediately as the user realizes the contraption is, in fact, useless against the cement-like consistency of the shake and opts instead for a durable metal spoon. This is truly the ingenuity of the American capitalist on display.”
Capitalism is even ruining my desserts. I should have known.
“As the milkshake reached more and more baroque levels of viscosity, approaching the thickness of the popular “Frosty” dessert served at the fast-food burger chain Wendy’s, the straw–which in its larger bore incarnations had previously been capable of transporting milkshake or malted from glass to mouth–evolved into a vestigial appendage that recalled the drinkable ancestors of the treat.”
The next time I use a straw for anything I am going to think of it as a vestigial appendage, and I will be mildly disturbed. Well done.
Because if you eat it with a spoon you are having ice cream and not a milkshake. You wait for one sip of it to melt just enough that you can get it up the straw, then repeat.
This can cause problems when you have some kind of chip-based ice cream.
Also, straws are more fun.
Yes, my most commonly purchased milkshakes are peach milkshakes and variations of cheesecake milkshakes, all of which have large chunks in them. So I may be a tad bit biased in my assessment of the usefulness of straws.
I love the places that use the extra wide straws, which can help mitigate the chunk issue.
Unless you’re having shakes with a friend with crazy fears about developing wrinkles, which are apparently made worse by drinking shakes through a straw(?)
Upon finally landing in New York City after a lengthy voyage across the oceans, I made my way to the home of the gracious couple who had agreed to host me. After introductions were done and I had greeted them in the traditional New York manner (you do this by staring open jawed at the smallness of their apartment, ask them how much they paid in rent, try to convert the number into your home currency, wonder how you ended up with that many zeros, and try to nod comprehendingly as they explain that it’s quite a lot, but at least it’s close to museums and plays), I had some free time to go see all the local cultural monuments. I visited the Statue of Liberty, paid my respects at the Golden Bull of Wall Street and at Ground Zero, and requested my hosts to take me to the iconic local eatery, “McDonald’s”. There, the highlight of my day, I finally encountered one of their legendary, undrinkable “thick” milkshakes. Truly, I thought, this was a country of great contradictions, that the people here must live in such tiny rooms which are divided into three tinier rooms, none of which afford any privacy, but at the same time they can afford waste their money on milkshakes that cannot be drunk.
Oh thanks for the hot dog/taco thing. I’ve always found it annoying when naan or rotis are referred to as “bread”. They’re not bread! They don’t come in loaves! They are not made in ovens! They’re never eaten with sweet substances like jam or nutella! Why are you calling them breads.
Halp, what do I call them then?
Same; I would like to know for future use if anyone is kind enough to offer!
I’m pretty sure any kind of cooked flour dough qualifies as bread. Is garlic bread not bread because you don’t put jam on it? Are dinner rolls not bread because they do not come in loaves? No, it’s all bread.
I’ve heard people call it “naan bread”.
Wait, is calling it “naan bread” not normal?
It’s like “chai tea”. Just “naan” is fine.
I find your Eurocentric definition of bread to be Problematic.
From what I’ve seen, naan is cooked in an oven. Granted a round, top-loading oven, but an oven none-the-less.
Edit: My personal definition of bread is some variety of cereal grain + moisture+ heat = bread. That same equation plus more time would be a cracker. Add extra moisture might be poridge? It’s a bit loose as far as definitions go, but loaf shape isn’t a qualifer for me, in the matter of bread. I’m happy to agree to disagree though. It’s fair game for interpretation.
Roti and naan are, like pita and pizza, flatbreads.
Why is “eaten with nutella” a defining characteristic of bread? Doesn’t that exclude rye and pumpernickel?
Whaaaaat? Nutella on rye bread or pumpernickel is the BEST! (I’m German, so I’m assuming freshly baked rye bread with a proper crust)
I have totally eaten naan with nutella.
Uh OK… So I looked up the definition of bread and find out that I was wrong? I thought bread was a proper noun meaning “loafy jam-toast thing”, whereas in reality it is a catchall term. So naan bread is OK after all. Sorry for the inconvenience everybody. (°x°”) obviously my English needs work
The province of “California” is home to many juices, which, according to ancient wisdom, are rumored to have healing properties.
This made me giggle.
(over my BluePrint Cold Pressed beverage)
(which I just realized has an ominous slogan printed on the side – “We Think. You Drink.”)
(I am highly critical of myself in this moment)
Hot dogs are at once ubiquitous and oddly regional, with each province of America claiming its own variant on the dish. These differences are a source of fierce cultural pride amongst Americans, and many in the country claim they can guess the origin of an individual solely from the type of hot dog they prefer.
You can say the same of BBQ.
It’s like articles about Chinese food. Some of them just insist on describing the superstitious beliefs or poetic origins of something. Yeah, but a lot of people also eat it because it’s really tasty?
When reading “Consider the Fork” (again: recommended!), the bit about stir-frying being a way to cope with scarce fuel resources — higher heat, shorter cooking times — while maximizing flavour blew my mind. Yes, the book also got into the philosophical underpinnings of preparing food as small morsels, but that simple equation was very enlightening.
Also, any article about modern Chinese social practises or trends includes something about Confucian philosophy.
Thank you for this exciting blog post about authentic American cuisine! I’ve never been to the US but I want to go someday so I can try REAL hamburgers. There’s an American chain pretty close to me with traditional American street food, it’s staffed by locals of course but at least the recipes are secret American recipes. I’ve tried reverse-engineering a few meals at home but my store doesn’t carry the real American brands, so I can’t get it to taste real, lol. There’s this tiny immigrant store downtown though, I should really go back, they had real Wonderbread and jars of marshmallow fluff (??? I kind of want to try it but also… not?) and blue soda and like three brands of peanut butter, and then the cashier spoke to me in American English! I felt like I wasn’t even in Europe anymore, haha.
No, but seriously, I once actually made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich really carefully (“What the heck is jelly? Do they mean jello?? No, it seems to mean jam or marmalade. Which flavour though? I have some lingonberry jam here, that’s supposed to be similar to cranberry which I hear they eat a lot, let’s just slop it on, there we go, completely authentic American sandwich”) just because I couldn’t take the curiousity any longer. It was weird but surprisingly good. I make one whenever I happen to have both peanut butter and jam at home at the same time, which is almost never. Lingonberry worked just fine, btw, nice tangy contrast.
Btw I literally used to think that PBJ’s didn’t exist for real, I thought they were a mean cultural stereotype or at least an exaggeration, like “did u know that in scotland everyone eats deep-fried Mars bars all the time????”
edited to add: Forgot to explain myself – I’ve been raised to think of peanut butter as being really rich and decadent, kind of like savory Nutella? (Or deep-fried food, or Mars bars.) So, you can have peanut butter sometimes, but not all the time, and you shouldn’t put anything else on your sandwich if you put peanut butter on it, because that’s more than enough. In that context, peanut butter AND JAM sounds incredibly decadent, just like a deep-fried Mars bar.
that’s the best part of a PBJ – any kind of J works just fine!
but what’s the most authentic choice though
This is a joke question and also a real question.
Grape jelly is the usual one you’d put in a kid’s school lunch (“jelly” meaning fruit goo *without* chunks of fruit like jam has). But a lot of people like something more tart like raspberry, or something chunky like strawberry jam.
Ah, well, grape flavour is also exotic to me, I’ve never seen or heard of grape jelly. Grape flavour isn’t really a thing here (GRAPES exist of course, but not grape flavoured everything?). Once I read this blog post where an American came to my country and tried different types of candy, and they surprised me by writing something like “many candy flavors are similar, but they have some exotic flavors like pear and lack a few normal flavors like grape”. Pear is weird? Grape is normal? Whattt.
To make it perhaps odder, grape flavor (and grape jelly) is inevitably flavored like Concord grapes. Concord grapes don’t taste like any other type of grape usually available to Americans and, in fact, until I got some in my CSA I really thought grape flavored candies just tasted gross and weird. Now I think they taste gross and exactly like Concords, because they do.
I don’t know how similar Concords are to any grapes available in your area, but you might find grape flavored stuff is really strange.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concord_(grape)
wow I never knew that! that’s so cool!
That’s okay, authentic “grape flavor” isn’t flavored like grapes either.
It is, actually, it’s just flavored /specifically/ like concord grapes which have a very particular flavor.
(And for the original poster)
Part of the point of adding the jam or jelly is to add a bit of acid to cut through the fat and salt from the peanut butter.
Personally, I recommend boysenberry or apricot, but strawberry is good, too. (Some people really like raspberry.)
The grapes used in ‘grape jelly’ are also usually concord grapes.
Grape, of course
Strawberry was traditional in my household, but now I like blackberry. Grape is more widespread but since my parents never bought it, I was just so intrigued by what I was missing out on.
When we finally got some, I was not at all disappointed.
Grape or strawberry.
Either grape or strawberry, but the type is way more important than the flavor. A proper nostalgic first-day-home-from-school PBJ is creamy Jiffy peanut butter with grape/strawberry Smuckers on either Wonderbread or the “whole wheat” brown equivalent that Mom buys because she doesn’t approve of white flour. If there is more fruit than corn syrup in the jelly, you’re using chunky peanut butter, or the bread has actual nutritional value, you’re missing the point of the sandwich.
FALSE. Chunky Skippy FOREVER.
eta: you are right about everything else.
In Canada, we do not have Wonderbread. We eat bread with actual nutritional value! 😛
You can buy the PB & J already mixed together too — https://www.smuckers.com/%28S%28xo3bqp451xhpqh451…
But don’t. *shudders*
Confessing to loving Goober Grape! (and Goober Strawberry)… I used to eat it out of the jar
if you haven’t made pb&j on toasted bread yet you should try it! It is the best form of pb&j.
One of the high points of my life as an American was introducing my Israeli-German boyfriend to peanut butter and jelly. I did it while saying the goddamn pledge of allegiance.
Respect.
I like introducing people to Triscuits, changes their lives.
This entire thread is adorable and is making me want to send you a care package of Real American (TM) foods. Also, neuromantiscism: I really like your user name. Second also, I have got to gently disagree with the poster who recommends toasted PB&J. While such a thing may good, it is not the traditional preparation of the PB&J–or not at my California primary school anyway!
There used to be an LJ comm devoted to international snack swaps. Sadly, LJ… well, you know how dead it is right now.
I wonder if we could set the same thing up here or on Reddit or something….
I’ve seen it done on instagram, but I’ve not participated. I have done mini quilt swaps via instagram, and it worked out ok
As a Canadian, I have peanut butter and JAM sandwiches…The jam is better that USA “Jelly” as it is real fruit, usually raspberry, strawberry, etc.
This whole thread was delightful because you’re like a very sincere version of the original post.
No, this is satire, but I’m also actually unironically curious about American food because I spend so much time on the American parts of the internet. Everyone’s always talking about foods I’ve never had! I just want to belong! Or at least understand the references!
My description of the American store is real, though. It’s exaggerated for comedy and twisted into a slightly more assholish tone, but nothing, nothing, could have prepared me for the jar of Fluff. And blue soda is just weird.
DO I HAVE SOME RECIPES FOR YOU
Well, DO YOU??? 😀
Remember though, I’d need a specialised tiny immigrant store for things like American cheese!
You need to try pumpkin pie! Very American, but it is also very hard to find canned pumpkin in Europe, so your store might not have it.
Oh, I know I want to try pumpkin pie, it sounds amazing. But, no, canned pumpkin = not a thing. Pumpkins are only used for Halloween decorations, nothing else.
Where in Europe are you? In the NL they have small eating pumpkins in the fall, and I’ve made pumpkin bread out of them (cook the pumpkins, then mash them up into a puree). There might be a way to make pie out of that? Pie is too much for me so I never bothered, but.
But if you can find a “sugar pumpkin”, you could make your own pumpkin puree by roasting said pumpkin. Then you’re only a short hop away from pumpkin pie. They look like wee versions of the carving pumpkins: http://bakingbites.com/2011/11/what-is-a-sugar-pu…
That one’s easy! http://m.allrecipes.com/recipe/13711/homemade-fre…
There will probably be some textural inconsistencies against the canned pumpkin, but this would also be how an American cooks an “authentic” pie – not how our mom cooks it, but how “the ancestors” cooked it, lol
when I make it from scratch (no cans) I like to use a butternut squash, rather than a pumpkin, because the texture is less stringy, just cut it open, bake until soft, scoop out and puree. It’s a great substitute for canned pumpkin for cookies, muffins, pies, cakes, soufflees, cheesecake, pretty much anything.
Most canned pumpkin in the US is actually butternut squash. So if you can find those, you can bake them and then use that to make the pie. (Though I think, like the pumpkin, that’s also a New World crop, so you may not have them readily available.)
OMG IT IS ALL SO CLEAR: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/08/canned-p…
This is why homemade pumpkin pie is such garbage… I need to sit down…
Are you in Britain? Because Tesco (huge supermarket, like WalMart in the US, except they don’t sell guns) Have a “world food” aisle that used to have things like cumin flavoured crisps and casava chips from jamaica, but then seemed to realise that the US was ALSO a part of the world, and now they sell lucky charms, marmallow fluff and…. canned pumpkin!!! Although I cannot find “pumpkin spice” flavouring anywhere. Not the powdered spice, not the syrup, not the coffee (apart from one month a year at sstarbucks) NOTHING. Can’t find it. So I don’t know if you can make the pie without the “flavour”? This is where I go wandering off into the depths of the internet, discussing whether its a flavour or a spice or a powdered substance……
It’s mostly cinnamon and nutmeg, with a little cloves and maybe some allspice.
It depends on the person, but my family’s pumpkin pie recipe uses cinnamon, nutmeg, a bit of cloves and a smidgen of ginger-buying “pumpkin pie spice” is not necessary. 🙂
We have pumpkin pie in Canada, as well….But our Thanksgiving is way earlier than the Americans.
I read your comment and IMMEDIATELY faceplamed. A friend of mine and I, while living as Americans in Prague, attempted to make pumpkin pancakes. Turns out- absolutely no one sells pumpkin canned in the entire city of Prague. We spent a few days searching before giving up and making gingerbread pancakes instead.
This happened to me in Vienna trying to make pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving. Turns out the UN office there sells canned pumpkin in their commissary, go figure
When I was living in Israel last year, I spent a FORTUNE at the Israeli market that sold American things buying canned pumpkin and premade pie crust, but I was homesick and I NEEDED pumpkin pie.
The Walmart website has a food section. It should give you a good idea of what the average American has at her culinary disposal, and blue soda isn’t the tip of the iceberg.
Blue is the best flavor.
If you’re in the UK, I noticed when I was living there that the ‘American’ candy stores have a lot of soda that I don’t really remember ever seeing in the US. Like, it’s probably from the US but not something people drink regularly. Soda from candy brands that you might see at the store in the US and think “Wow, they make drinks now? Why?” and then never buy it. I can’t think of any blue drinks that are actually common and popular offhand. So not everything in those stores is a good representation of what people actually eat in the US.
I do wish I could find some marshmallow fluff though. There are so many s’mores inspired recipes I could make with it.
The only blue sodas I’m familiar with are by Jones, I think bubblegum flavor? I mostly remember it being disgusting.
There’s blue Faygo! That is a regional soda/pop though.
There’s a blue Mountain Dew flavor, or was. There’s also Electric Blue Jolt (which is a little hard to find and kind of like drinking carbonated cotton candy with waaaaaay too much caffeine.) I’ve also seen blue vanilla sodas and blue raspberry sodas from various smaller brands.
If you’re really in need of s’mores type recipes, you can make marshmallow fluff! It’s basically sugar syrup + whipped egg white + gelatin.
This would not happen to be an American store on Princes Street in Edinburgh, would it? Because that description is spot on to a store I used to pass all the time – it was like a multicoloured beacon, a high-fructose corn syrup siren.
Okay, but have you had peanut butter and banana sandwiches? The world needs to know.
Last time I went to the ‘exotic foods’ aisle of my local supermarket, I spotted some strawberry mashmallow fluff, took a picture (with a fancy filter) and posted it on Facebook.
Haven’t tried it, though. It’s about on the same level as chicken feet, for me: I’m just not brave enough.
Strawberry Fluff blended with cream cheese = sweet “dip” for a fruit plate (berries, grapes, melon slices).
This appeared at many a party in my youth.
My mom always used to make it with strawberry yogurt and homemade whipped cream. Man, I haven’t thought of that concoction in ages.
Regular Fluff, cream cheese, and a little frozen orange juice concentrate is also a good one.
I misread this as “many a party in my mouth”. Those are the kind of parties I like!
When my then-boyfriend had just moved to Belgium, he finally found peanut butter in the “foreign foods” section of his local grocery store. He was so happy.
The foreign foods section of a nearby supermarket:
(I don’t know why they need the Skippy, normal pindakaas is perfectly fine.)
MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION: Do they have Ranch dressing? I have heard that it’s difficult to find overseas, which is inconceivable to me. We put it on everything!
That’s one of those exotic authentic American traditional foods I want to try. Also Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, a dish I’ve never seen, eaten or heard of in real life. How can cheese on macaroni be a food. How can it be in a box.
just be prepared to have your definition of “cheese” expanded. Mac & cheese with actual cheese is of course a common American food, but that is not the Kraft mac & cheese.
I’m starting to feel that I actually SHOULD go on a food trip to the US, eat the most “normal” American food I can find and write an exoticising Toast post about the experience…
Please do this. If you decide to go for mainstream regional specialties, please ask us for recommendations, I’m sure we will help.
I know tons of “gross” organ-based regionalisms for you to condescend to.
Or just come to Philly, where we put Whiz on things.
If you stop in Rochester, NY, I’ll treat you to our famous “garbage plate”. (Unfortunately, this is what we’re best known for, in culinary terms).
A mess of shredded cheddar melted into a roux and poured over noodles is sort of like a little kid’s fettucini alfredo. You can then take it and bake it for a ridiculously decadent casserole that vanishes at potlucks. But Kraft mac & cheese isn’t… cheese. It’s more like noodles in congealed dairy protein with coloring and flavor additives. If you add a can of tuna and frozen peas, you have the Broke College Student’s traditional potion to guard against scurvy and protein deficiency.
Try this? (And you can always sub plain yogurt for mayo and sour cream, I think that would taste more like the bottled kind anyway) http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ree-drummond/h…
I like it with hot sauce and shredded cheese on a baked potato 🙂
I thought Kraft Mac & Cheese was the same as Kraft Dinner
It is, yes. That’s what Canadians call it. No one in Canada is willing to believe that cheese powder is actually cheese. (though it turns out it usually actually is, just dehydrated to the point that it turns into powder, which is… kind of scary really.)
IT IS NOT THE SAME AT ALL, IT IS MERELY SIMILAR.
… the Canadian version has fewer ingredients, and remains mainly the same as the version released a long time ago, there was a national magazine article on this point a while ago. oh god, yes actually.
As a Canuck, I must say our version is MUCH better!
It’s horrible. My girlfriend bought a box out of naive curiosity like yours when Tesco started having a tiny section of American brands in its exotic foods section and we tried it. It’s SO SWEET. Absolutely NOTHING like actual macaroni baked in white cheese sauce, which is a wonderful SAVOURY dinner (sometimes with little bits of bacon in, nom nom, but my gf is veggie so that is sadly no more in our household). Do not trust boxes!
Sweet?! Weird, I never thought of it as anything but cheesy & salty, but I bet you’re right – it’s probably got more sugar than a mac&cheese should have (zero). But it’s also a thing that tends to be a kid food (so, so many dinners of mac&cheese with sliced up hot dogs), and I don’t know if I’d like it if I tried it for the first time today, now that my sweet receptors aren’t constantly bombarded with candies. Now I still love it but it’s a sick/hung over food, if I can make the effort to put a macaroni & cheese bake together I will.
(UNLESS it’s sweet bc the formula relies on salty butter? Is that a thing, where American butter is saltier?)
One of my favorite things is how Cool Ranch Doritos are called “Cool American” everywhere else because they don’t have ranch dressing.
I never knew this! Please tell me the Cool American Doritos’ bag has doritos with cartoon sunglasses and tiny American flags.
You know, I can’t remember if there’s ranch dressing here or not. I’ve never really liked it much so I’ve not looked. Next time I’m at the university I work at I’ll look at the “American” section there (that picture is from the local Albert Heijn and is smaller/more mixed than the university ones) and see if they get in ranch dressing from somewhere like they do with the macaroni and cheese and the marshmallow fluff.
And let’s not forget America’s greatest cultural export, the red solo cups: http://www.americancups.nl
They offer a pre-packaged beer pong starter kit. I have never been more proud to be an American.
You can also go to a Red Cup party, of course: http://www.sorbonne.nl/agenda/340/the-red-cup-par…
I pledge allegiance, to the red Solo cup…
Immigrant to the UK here: THERE IS NO RANCH. I have to make my own like I’m Laura fucking Ingalls or something.
As someone who only knows ranch flavor in association with Cool Ranch Doritos, I’m imagining a process that looks something like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cppOojKBNko (how to make doritos consomme)
peanut butter and honey is common in my family and I like it as much and sometimes more than pb&j? but also I only like it on homemade bread and with that gritty organic smuckers peanut butter cause that’s what I was raised on. I REALLY LOVE UNCRASTABLES THOUGH- those self-contained flying-saucer shaped peanut butter and jellies also made by smuckers? maybe you can get those shipped abroad http://www.smuckersuncrustables.com/
For a day of hilarity, visit a quaint “take”, as they say, on the cuisine from your part of the world, found in any major American city. For those equipped with a sense of humor and a strong stomach, we “recommend” Taco Bell, Panda Express, and Olive Garden. Bring an open mind and remember: these people don’t know any better.
“As you nestle down with your plate of authentic cornbeef sandwiches at the out-of-the-way eatery known as ‘Arby’s’ (locals insist the food is prepared by hand every morning by Arby himself), you may well find yourself sitting next to an actual American IT professional, jabbering away in English on a cell phone while wearing khaki pants–a 3,000-year old form of clothing dating back to the Persian Empire. You may find yourself staring in wonder at this incongruent mix of the ancient and the modern as you savor the spicy juices of your bread taco.”
“The tinny sound, a melody vaguely recognizable as a traditional American children’s folk tune, becomes louder. Its source is revealed: a white truck, the kind typically associated with an industrial bakery or laundry service, rounds the corner. Emblazoned with lurid advertisements for such treats as the ‘Bomb Pop’ (a name uniquely American in its militarism) and the ‘Sno-Cone,’ the vehicle is instantly recognizable to the neighborhood children. Deprived of sunlight and desserts by America’s inexplicable ‘helicopter parent’ culture, the children instantly seize upon this opportunity to escape the chill of their air-conditioned houses and spend a few coins on a dripping, sticky, bright red concoction of frozen syrup, a nod to the country’s heritage of corn agriculture and chemicals manufacturing.”
yessss amazing
I grew up in an area so helicoptery that ice cream trucks were prohibited. They didn’t want to encourage children running in the street, I guess. The first time I ever saw one in real life I basically had this same thought process.
Yesterday an ice cream truck came down my street playing not “pop goes the weasel” like I remember from my childhood, but a medley of Sting songs. I had to go outside and make sure it was actually an Ice cream truck, and it was.
In two separate cities, in two separate states, I have heard an ice cream truck playing “Fur Elise.”
About 7 years ago we had a Tetris truck for a month or so. That was great.
That still seems more normal than “Fields of Gold.”
This is a fair point.
My local ice cream van (in London) plays O Sole Mio, although I tend to hear it as It’s Now or Never.
Mine plays Yankee Doodle. I’m in Scotland.
“Just one Cornetto…”
We get “green sleeves”
somehow mine plays Christmas carols??
Also in more “urban” communities, these trucks driving around at dusk, with the music off, stopping only for adults, are peddling sweets of a different kind.
It took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to realize that the truck going around my old neighborhood playing “Do Your Ears Hang Low?” was probably not selling 10:00PM ice cream.
10PM ice cream would be a pretty good idea, though.
Pizza places that also deliver ice cream (pints, quarts, 1.5 quarts) until 1 AM are my favorite thing some nights. No shame.
I want to shake the hand of the genius who first landed on this hilarious business model
“In China, however, be aware that the tinny melody signifies something different – namely, that a street-washer truck is about to spray the side of the road with a mounted hose. We recommend ducking into a nearby storefront, as many an American has been unexpectedly soaked after turning towards the sound with a jubilant smile of tasty anticipation.”
They also routinely play “Happy Birthday” and “Jingle Bells,” among the more standard ice-cream truck playlist.
This reminds me of that classic piece of anthropological satire, Horace Miner’s Body Ritual Among The Nacirema.
YES THANK YOU, I was trying to remember the name of that…..how could I have forgotten hahaha
Ever since getting fooled by that one in junior high, I always have a suspicion that new words are just something familiar spelled backwards.
SAME! Any time I see a word or combination of letters that I don’t immediately recognize, I check to see what it is backward.
We read that my first week of Anthro 101 and MOST OF THE CLASS DID NOT REALIZE IT WAS SATIRE.
[guidebook contains map of ‘pop,’ ‘soda,’ and ‘coke’ regions] “Be careful to use the correct regional term when ordering a sugary, carbonated beverage. Americans have deeply held cultural traditions around these terms and are capable of arguing for hours about which is correct.”
#accurate
Ugh, people who make a big fuss about that are the MOST tiresome. Language varies by region – it’s OK, I promise!!!!!
WHERE IS THE LIE, THOUGH
The first time doing Thanksgiving at my now-husband’s aunt and uncle’s house in Michigan, I was genuinely surprised to realized that the only foods that weren’t somewhere on the white/beige/yellow spectrum were the bowls of canned olives and jarred pickles, the canned cranberry jelly, and and the jello with canned fruit salad. They were also the only non-meat, non-starch items. It actually did feel exotic to me.
omg yes learning how Other People Do Thanksgiving is like [[eyes widening in horrified fascination]]
I think this goes for all holiday meals (apart from maybe a 4th of July bbq) My family makes creamed eggs on toast for breakfast on Easter morning, which most people don’t, but my brother-in-law’s family did too, which is unusual, as I’ve never met anyone else who did. Also for Easter, ham or lamb? Asparagus or green beans? lemon meringue pie or angel food cake? or something else?
I have a friend from Minnesota and I spend a lot of time reporting to him things I read about the foods people eat in the midwest. I am FASCINATED. As a second generation American jew from NYC, there’s a lot of “weird” stuff I’ll happily eat but the sheer beige-ness of the midwest amazes me. I’ve never actually been there. I just read about it a lot.
This depends, I think the genre of food ZevNV is referring to is the potato salad/ jello salad/ meatloaf type fare you might see at a church potluck, but unless you are an aging Lutheran it doesn’t really have a huge daily presence.
Like, lutefisk is more of a regional in-joke than something that people actually eat. Same with ridiculous state fair food.
Tater tots ON a casserole! Not as their own separate entity! It’s called hot plate or something?
Hotdish! I was vegetarian pretty much the whole time I lived in MN, so I never got to try the authentic hamburger casserole topped with tater tots version. But I’ve since realized it’s not that far off from a shepherd’s pie, the potatoes just come in frozen breaded chunks instead of mashed.
It depends on which part of the Midwest you’re talking about, really. The urban areas – the Twin Cities, Chicago, etc. – have a quite good range of food available.
And then there was the time I stopped at a diner in a small Wisconsin town, ordered a side salad with my meal, and it was literally a handful of chopped iceberg lettuce, a slice of tomato, and a giant blob of ranch dressing.
So I’m not going to pretend like the stereotype is entirely unwarranted.
But seriously tater tot hot dishes are the bomb.
Pizza serves as a flashpoint of tribal/religious rivalries: in the land’s northeastern reaches, every city has its own unique variation of the foodstuff, which its folk espouse as fervently as their religion’s many saints. Which best represents the true Platonic ideal of “real pizza” is best avoided as a touchy subject in mixed company.
I live in Chicago, whose native pizza is a matter of some controversy, even among some Chicagoans. I distinctly remember a friend’s then-boyfriend ranting about how inauthentic it was to the original Italian style, and then describing his ideal pizza as thin-crust, with barbecue chicken on it. I was dumbfounded.
I have never given two shits about whether Chicago pizza is “authentic” to the Italian style, because first off, it started from the Sicilian variety, and second, it is a glorious mountain of cheese and tomato stuffed into a buttery crust and that’s the way God intended it. It’s not trying to be Naples pizza or (god forbid) New York pizza. It is its own beautiful institution and if you can’t appreciate that, I’ll have your slice.
I’m with you on that one–who CARES if it’s authentic? It’s delicious, and if you don’t have it more than 3-4 times a year, it probably won’t kill you. (Also, Lou Malnati’s is the best.)
Regarding other Chicago traditions:
I find the open hostility to those who put ketchup on hot dogs bewildering–is that really the hill y’all want to die on? (I’ve lived here a dozen years, but that’s one way I know I’ll never be a native.)
I think that Italian Beef sandwiches with juice and giardiniera are pretty much the best and I am sad for those who don’t have access to them.
I’ve actually come around to the idea that hot dogs should be savory, not sweet, and the excessive sugar in most ketchups makes for an over-sweet hot dog. But I was raised on ketchup and mustard on hot dogs and I’ll eat them either way.
Yes, God bless Lou’s. I know Serious Eats did a food-critic runthrough of Chicago pizza, but they Just Don’t Get that the only good Chicago-style pizza place is the one you were raised on or started with. (My brother and I are Chicago expats, so I have Opinions. I recently saw him eat an Italian beef sandwich while ignoring the juice and giving me the peppers. Why would anyone disrespect the sandwich like that?)
That’s…just roast beef. And probably not particularly tasty roast beef.
I literally had Lou Malnati’s for dinner tonight. So goooooooooood.
My New Yorker mother (after prodding by my Chicagoan father) says that Chicago-style pizza is certainly good, but it’s not *pizza*.
i had lou malnati’s when i was in chicago last week. now i feel like i made the good local-approved choice for deep dish
I was warmly welcomed by the Maine tribe to their dinner table. We started with “Steamers”, or clams dug up by the youngsters of the clan from the nearby beach. About as primitive as cuisine gets, this small bivalve is simply steamed until they open of their own accord. Then with a spoon, you must dig out the briny, gelatinous flesh inside and dip it into some drawn butter before ingesting. While I tried hard to pretend it tasted like chicken, I could not hide a grimace as I bit into the squeaky, slippery flesh.
But this was just an aperitif for the real star of the meal: giant sea bugs, knowns as lobsters to the locals, and a mainstay of the tribal economy. According to local tradition, they must be cooked alive in a pot of boiling water. I had to step out of the kitchen as this was happening – I’m all for respecting cultural tradition, but they made the most horrid scrabbling sound in the pot. After being boiled, the lobsters turn red in color. They are brought to the table whole, unshelled. You are provided with a lobster and a sort of metal implement that is used to crack the shells. The ability to crack these shells open and extract the meat cleanly from inside them is a sign of virility and strength for the members of the tribe – however, they are forgiving, if slightly condescending, to someone “From Away” unable to master this ancient skill, and were kind enough to help me with the lobster meat. Though I could not help but notice that the children of the tribe were snickering at me, a grown up needing help with such an elementary survival skill. A child who is unable to master the process of cracking open a lobster by the age of 8 is considered unfit to bear the proud name of Mainah.
In conclusion, white people are a land of contrasts, one foot in the ancient and the other in the modern.
I keep kosher and have never eaten lobster, so I relate to this without any irony whatsoever.
I have never eaten lobster simply because it looks like a hideous prehistoric scorpion and I don’t put things with exoskeletons near my mouth. I have a really distinct childhood memory of watching in terror while my grandma ate a whole lobster in a restaurant, as if she had been replaced by some sort of bug-eating alien.
Right??? I’ve been tempted by bacon and cheeseburgers, but never the sea larvae and cockroaches people seem to love. Yuck.
Yes, very funny, but the idea of eating lobster in a restaurant already cracked on a plate is weird to me. It needs to be served on a table covered in newspaper, with various metal utensils (some without any name- handed down from the ancestors for this purpose only), possibly a hammer, and a pair of strong hands. This ritual was once witnessed by my prairie living Grandmother and she was shocked and disgusted.
I will eat lobster rolls, etc in restaurant though. That’s ok.
Lobsters: giant sea bugs or tiny sea monsters?
http://www.breakingcatnews.com/comic/the-people-b…
I read a Guardian(?) article that had pretty much this exact tone about eating geoducks.
Entirely warranted.
“spoon?” she said, casting a glance to the rest of her ilk, and as one the entirety of northern New England drew back one almost imperceptible step
which, I mean, it’s already northern New England, so we weren’t exactly cozying up to begin with.
This is clearly the place to share the Goodness Gracious Me Sketch, “Going For An English.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ix9OP1i9UN8
Hah, beat me to it – I was just about to post the same link.
That was such a great show, shame it’s not better known these days.
Contrary to popular belief, “chicken fried steak” is not, in fact, prepared by poultry in an apron but rather an amusing term to describe the manner in which the food is prepared! How novel!
I present to you one of my favorite arguments in hot dog/ taco/ sandwich ontology debate and one of the most important works written by a graduate of my college:
“But if we accept that a neat meal package of either hinged or wrapping breads or the classic two-slice model are the ontological bases for a sandwich, suddenly we must introduce new food to that classification – arepas, banh mi, a disruptive new egg roll out of Shanghai the size of a football or an infant. The sandwich evolves and broadens as we do, without abandoning the intent that informs it and animates it. A hot dog is a sandwich. A taco is a sandwich. God bless them, God bless America, God bless sandwiches.” -Jeb Lund
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jul…
I can accept a hot dog as a sandwich and banh mi as a sandwich and any number of things as a sandwich. I cannot, however, face an open face “sandwich” as a sandwich. No. Never.
“listening to the stirring ancient tales of traffic on the A470 into Cardiff.”
Maybe I watch way too much Flying Circus, but this! Amazing.
While Marshmallow Fluff has, in most of the United States, beome a quaint vestige of the past, and is generally used only as an ingredient in other desserts, in some parts of New England, enthusiasm for the sweet, sticky cream has not waned, generally enjoyed in a regional variation on the PB&J, the Fluffernutter (the fluff replaces the jam). In fact, the town of Somerville still holds an annual festival for the product, honoring its creator with American festival standbys such as marching bands, classic American pop music cover bands, a traditional midway, competitive eating, and a bake-off. It also includes nods to modern American “hipster” trends, with more adult activities including craft cocktails featuring the theme ingredient and burlesque performances.
When my cousin was in grad school at University of Minnesota, she was compelled to welcome the newcomers to our state with Minnesota ethnic food: Tater Tot Hotdish.
No coffee and bars?
Or are those just for Mount Rose residents?
🙂
Hehehe… for me, as an Asian immigrant to the US, white people food IS exotic food! My particular hankering is for that delicious, sweet delicacy from the deep Southern regions of the US called pecan pie!