“Since my lady of Champagne wishes me to undertake to write a romance, I shall very gladly do so, being so devoted to her service as to do anything in the world for her, without any intention of flattery. But if one were to introduce any flattery upon such an occasion, he might say, and I would subscribe to it, that this lady surpasses all others who are alive, just as the south wind which blows in May or April is more lovely than any other wind. But upon my word, I am not one to wish to flatter my lady. I will simply say: “The Countess is worth as many queens as a gem is worth of pearls and sards.” Nay I shall make no comparison, and yet it is true in spite of me; I will say, however, that her command has more to do with this work than any thought or pains that I may expend upon it.”
I would never flatter this woman who is more beautiful than God or the sun or a basket of rubies, because other garbage people will do that, because they’re full of lies, but not me, because I can just honestly and objectively see that you, my boss, Lady Champagne, just happen to be better than like, the wind, and other various elements. That’s just me being honest.
“Chrétien does this for the most worthy man in all the empire of Rome: that is, Count Philip of Flanders, who surpasses Alexander, whom they say was so great. But I shall prove that the count is much more worthy than he, for Alexander had amassed within himself all the vices and wickedness of which the count is pure and exempt.”
Chrétien! Friend! That’s precious, but, you know, “And Count Philip of Flanders wept, for there were no worlds left to conquer” is not a saying for a reason. And he’s not the tenth of the Nine Worthies, you know? “Great as Count Philip of Flanders,” said no one who was not named Chrétien de Troyes. When you lay it on too thick, it rings false!
“The clerk Godferoy de Lagny has put the final touches on The Knight of the Cart; let no one blame him for completing Chrétien’s work, since he did it with the approval of Chrétien, who began it. He worked on the story from the point at which Lancelot was walled into the tower until the end. He has done only this much. He wishes to add nothing further.”
I just find this deeply charming! Godferoy is so worried someone is going to say ‘That scene in Meleagant’s castle did not have the Chrétien de Troyes ring to it, perhaps the clerk Godferoy de Lagny inserted something with Chrétien’s approval.” WELL, HE DIDN’T. HE ONLY ADDED THE STUFF THAT CHRETIEN SAID HE COULD, THAT BIT AT THE END.
“Thus Chrétien brings to a close his romance of the Knight with the Lion. I’ve not heard any more about it, and you’ll never hear anything more unless one adds lies to it.”
This is so unnecessarily threatening! It’s not really on-theme, but I think it’s sort of endearing.
“And so Chrétien de Troyes says that it is reasonable for everyone to think and strive in every way to speak well and to teach well, and from a tale of adventure he draws a beautifully ordered composition that clearly proves that a man does not act intelligently if he does not give free reign to his knowledge for as long gives him the grace to do so.”
That is his OPENING LINE! “This is a beautifully ordered composition.” Believe in yourself the way Chrétien de Troyes believes in his work, okay?
“Then Erec said that he wished to defend the hawk on behalf of his daughter; for surely there will be no damsel who is one hundredth part as beautiful as she. And if he takes her with him, he will have good and just reason to maintain and to prove that she is entitled to carry away the hawk.”
Again, this isn’t super in keeping with the theme, but I love the idea of giving birds of prey to beautiful women as, I guess, rewards for facial symmetry.
“…Alexander had amassed within himself all the vices and wickedness of which the count is pure and exempt.” The count is the best, straight up, love him, NO HOMO, I mean if the count were down and gave me the eye maybe that’d be cool too but we all know he’s not, he’s a man’s man, just not a MAN’S man, right, cool cool, all just bein’ cool dudes here 100% brocephalus.
BROCEPHALUS THO
Mallory you tell us so many lies that it took me a bit to understand you were actually referencing actual content of this story
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
I love this but have nothing intelligent or entertaining to say about it.
Why have I not been given a hawk to carry away yet? My facial symmetry is flawless.
Too much hair. No hawk for you because it might get tangled in your luxurious locks, which would lead to panicked clawing, and thus would mar said symmetry. Maybe just collect leopards?
Hmmm. This is true. I am unwilling to sacrifice the bigness of the hair, even for raptors. Big cats will have to suffice.
you just need a bigger bird.
may I suggest…
THE LAMMERGEIER
You’d robably have to be queen of god to be able to carry a lammergeier – ladies were mostly merlins, weren’t they?
Well, funny that you should mention it, but I am actually…
last one, I promise
True story, when I was a small child in Germany I decided that they were my favorite bird. No real reasoning behind it, I just thought they were pretty darn metal.
they are the MOST metal
Imma just leave this here….
This lady is so beautiful that she must have a raptor. She is so beautiful that she must have a bird with wicked claws that plunges from the sky to snap the spine of a hare. She is so beautiful that she must have a bird whose cruel beak will rend flesh and snap bone, whose feathers will be dabbed with the blood of unsuspecting prey, whose shadow will strike with paralyzing terror all the small creatures of the forest.
That is how beautiful this lady is, just to give you a basis for comparison — as beautiful as a sudden, violent death beneath the hooks of nature’s airy executioner.
“There will never be any more of this story. If you hear more about this story, it’s all LIES. Probably told by vice-laden Greeks.”
Did anyone else hear this read in their head by Stephen Fry?
I’m doing Nanowrimo, and this whole word count thing can be a beast.
From now on when I get stuck, I’m just going to vamp with the most fulsome compliments to my local power players that I can come up with.
“It would be remiss of this humble author to neglect to mention V-, who stocks the romance section of the most discerning and welcoming independent book store in this burgeoning metropolis, for V- is, bar none, the wittiest and most elegant of creatures to ever behold a stack of self-published contemporary romances — all told in the intelligent, compelling manner to which this humble author can lay claim, inspired as she always is by the thought of the magnificent V- someday casting her pearl-and-amber eyes across her pages.”
The Life of Chretien de Troyes: One Endless NaNoWriMo. (Because seriously, who do you think was paying the bills there?)
“Thus Chrétien brings to a close his romance of the Knight with the Lion. I’ve not heard any more about it, and you’ll never hear anything more unless one adds lies to it.”
BRB, off to write some Knight with the Lion fanfic.
Not that he ISN’T over the top with the flattery, but Marie de Champagne WAS pretty great – my 23rd-great-grandmother, even, which is a lot of great!
Any daughter of Eleanor of Aquitaine is a friend of mine…
I’m pretty sure my favorite part of this is the winking maiden at the top there.
He is just defending his intellectual property with the Yvain closer. He takes pride in his work! And after all, nobody knew more about embroidering on someone else’s tale than Chrétien.
Is he implying that people might go around going “Oi! You’re not pretty enough for that bird! Relinquish it immediately in favour of someone more symmetrical!”?
Hawks, that’s what 14th anniversary? 12 is fete followed by jousting, 13 is a rondel and buckler, I think 14 is hawks.
Cretien de Troyes – the 12th century Mr. Collins
Yep, this was pretty much my dissertation.
Yep, this was pretty much my dissertation.