Ulta Be Discovered 76 Piece Collection, $19.99 (was $24.99) Wanna make a 12-year-old cry? This.
New York Minute Robe Coat, $82.60 (was $118) Paging Olivia Pope.
Oh, Joy! 60 Ways to Create and Give Joy, $14.99 (was $27.50) Handmade holiday gifts are just better. They just are.
Copper Fig Figurine, $2.38 (was $7.99) A fig figurine! Pair it with a pear!
Delft Paper Napkins, $4 (were $7) Please tell me you also have one of those blue Ikea bags full of paper plates and napkins for every imaginable party that never gets thrown?
Platinum Denim Ankle Jeans, $25 (were $89) White jeans are in this winter. I personally disagree with white jeans ANY time of year but what’s great (for you) is that I’m not Queen of the Universe.
Draped Ear Cuff to Hair Chain, $9.95 (was $24) It’s like a reverse Jane Child for wimps. (I see you, Canadians.)
The Elin Loafer, $76.99 with code FORYOU (were $158) Bought these a few weeks ago at almost-full price. (Madewell makes price adjustments up to 7 days after purchase, FYI.) No worries, though. They are perfect at any price and never coming off my feet.
Barneys Shearling-lined Fingerless Long Gloves, $179 (were $295) No joke. And while you’re over there, can I please please please pretty please have this? Thank you, Santa.
I’m just now starting to learn How To Makeup so this is super great.
I dont suppose any place to get super super super pale stuff? Because right now for foundation I mix “ivory” with “pure white”
I personally have found that it’s much easier to find a tinted moisturizer that matches my skin tone than a true foundation.
This. I like Supergoop’s CC Cream in fair to light, but it’s pricey. For drugstore options, I too mix regular human makeup with vampire makeup.
I’m pretty pale and I like Urban Decay’s Naked Skin foundation in 0.5 (I think that’s the lightest shade in their range).
Illamasqua have a pure white and then a colour just very slightly more skin toned which I use. It’s high coverage, so maybe not the best if you are new to make up. But it’s better than any of the drugstore ivories which go screaming luminous orange on me.
I was excited to find their super pale color, but then I found it didn’t last very well. I thought it always ended up making my face look pretty bad by the end of the day.
I’m really loving loose powder, because I can get the one very pale color, and the same shade will work well for me even in the summer when i get just a bit darker. I splurged and got mine from Bare Escentuals, although since I bought it, lots more places are making competing products.
In general, when I’m looking to play around with a color or product that’s new to me, I grab the version from ELF, and while I sometimes decide it’s not a look I like, I’m almost always happy with the products themselves.
I like to use Aromaleigh’s oil-control primer instead of foundation. It’s quite sheer, and they have a very light version, so it doesn’t look jarring against my skin. I’m a very pale person (“no, I’m feeling fine, that’s just my face”), so I also have problems with foundation. I also have a very oily forehead, so it helps with breakouts.
I was just about to chime in to recommend Aromaleigh! They have some extremely pale mineral foundations.
So you can be extremely pale with glittery rainbow eyelids!
Make Up For Ever makes a pure white foundation base that you can mix into others. http://www.makeupforever.com/us/en-us/make-up/fac…
I just switched to Make Up For Ever’s Mat Velvet foundation in the lightest shade, and it is actually pale enough for my vampire skin. It’s a bit on the pricey side, but a little goes a very long way if you use a brush to apply it.
I’m super pale and usually go for the Loreal True Match foundation in W1 and N1 combined. It’s probably the lightest foundation in the drugstore.
Seconding this recommendation. N1 is better for my pale skin than most foundations, even expensive ones. And I never put it all over my face, just in red areas. It’s pretty sheer and gives buildable coverage.
Now, though, I usually use Stila tinted moisturizer in “fair”, because it doesn’t have chemical sunscreens – my face skin doesn’t like chemical sunscreens.
I often just buy the palest liquid concealer, because it comes a little lighter than foundation, and use my pale foundation where I plan to contour. Also, because most bronzer gives you a “sun kissed” orange look, I contour with a cool-toned powder foundation a few shades darker than my skin tone. (Which ends up being the second-palest shade available anyway. :/)
I’m quite fair — shade 01 or 02 in Clinique Even Better foundation — and Algenist’s tinted moisturizer in the lightest shade and Armani Luminous Silk foundation in 01 are both significantly too light for me. The Armani feels nice but is VERY sheer coverage (tho a bit buildable); Algenist is more coverage than you’d expect from tinted moisturizer and has SPF, but feels heavier/richer and has a slightly sweet scent (like their Genius line) which I’m not bonkers about.
Hello, fellow uberpale. I’m a pink and white person and generally have a horrible time finding foundation that works. For really full coverage, Nars in Siberia works well for me (the yellower undertones help cancel out some of my natural pinkness without being so yellowy as to look really fake–it’s more color-correcting than mismatched). Illamasqua has some really super-pale foundations, but I found them difficult to apply well (that is, not good for a makeup newb) and even with a decent application, kind of cakey after a few hours. For daily wear, I really like Missha’s Perfect Cover BB in #13 (“light milky beige”); the description of it as “beige” threw me at first because I’m not very beige at all, but it’s actually a really, really light-colored BB that can be layered for a little more coverage but still a pretty natural look.
White jeans seem like a terrible idea for winter. Everything I own gets far more dirty in winter between the slush and salt and dirty snow and muck and slipping and falling into your gross driveway or on the pavement or whatever. No thanks, Big White Jean!
Ach and they are so Elizabeth Hurley c.2004. Made for people who swoop in and out of cabs all the time. And your thighs look like giant sausages in them. Well, maybe *your* thighs don’t, but my thighs do.
I might get a pair to create my Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man costume to wear to the rebooted “Ghostbusters” film.
White jeans are a “Why Me?” waiting to happen and nothing – NOTHING – will ever convince me otherwise.
I was walking behind a woman last winter who was wearing white suede stiletto pumps (and there was plenty of slush on the ground). I was baffled by it for days.
I actually love white jeans unabashedly, and find that they can be oddly (surprisingly) flattering. Also, since 99.99999999999% of my tops are black, navy, or almost-black, white jeans are nice for occasionally making me feel de-gothed. Also, you can throw those bitches in the washer with a bucket of OxyClean or bleach and not worry about fucking them up.
The fig looks like a great weapon.
I can’t wait for all the “weaponized figs” thinkpieces
Am I the only one who thought that “Oh Joy!”: book was going to be from the Oh Joy Sex Toy people? And I’m all like, “huh. I wonder where you’re supposed to put those brass swans.”
Meeee too. My thoughts were “That’s an odd cover for a book about sex toys” and then “So I guess we just spray paint everything.” Which, one of the gifts I’m giving for xmas is a thing from the dollar store spray painted so maybe not such a bad idea.
So hilariously I own those brass swans. They were my grandmother’s. And they sit on a shelf, and are kinda in the way, but I am happy I have them. They have a set of 4 little ones linked together too.
Do those white jeans come with a sandwich board that says “GONNA GET MY PERIOD EARLY NOW” because they should.
White jeans are just an invitation for stains.
Once my super chic, always fashionable friend and I were going out to dinner. When I got to her house to pick her up and she was wearing white pants. I told her that she was super brave, and I would spill something on them immediately. She said she never did! So I thought it was just me. You guys are making me feel better.
Then she and I stopped for coffee and she immediately spilled coffee all over her pants. So while it did make me feel vindicated for like a second, I then decided that it wasn’t the jeans, it was the proximity to me, the Mess Maker. (When I was little, my mom would sing me the Matchmaker song from Fiddler, only she changed it to Mess Maker. My mom was kinda mean to her kids but in a non-threatening, totally awesome way that we rolled our eyes at).
Point is, thanks for telling me that I’m not alone.
Ha! You’re mom is hilarious, except that now I can never tell that story to my mother or my husband because they are all monsters who would immediately singing that song at me for all eternity. I mean they have both had to spend years years cleaning up and/or living around my horrible messes.
Oh, yeah, you can never tell them about that. Just hum it to yourself in your head when you’re cleaning up after yourself.
“Paranoid you might be pregnant? Put on these pants and know for sure!!”
Jane, I just wanted to say I’m so happy you’re here at the Toast now!!!
Me too! ME TOOOO
SO MUCH YES
Ditto
Me three 🙂
One of the reasons I never wear earrings is because the dangly ones would get stuck in my hair. Why would I want my ear ATTACHED to my hair ON PURPOSE?
Because it’s going to happen eventually anyway, so you might as well embrace it?
I have a friend who started wearing thongs on a similar premise: her underwear was going to end up in her asscrack anyway; why not just put it there to begin with?
That is a bridge too far (up my ass), my friend.
I tried thongs on the same premise, but bikini undies do not go THAT far up my asscrack, thanks. I embrace my VPL forever instead.
I only wear a dangling earring when my hair is up (for fancy things) but I wear stud earrings all the time because they draw more attention to my eyes(?)
Have you ever tried climbers? They go up the ear rather than dangling.
Most of mine are 50s vintage and clips, but I have one pair that are for pierced ears.
Like this: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Sterling-Silver-ear-crawl…
Dammit, Jane Marie I can’t stop checking out those Madewell loafers. I’ma go to the mall today to figure out if they’re worth it.
I’m thinking about them too but I’m not sure what I’d wear with them! Loafers always seemed too business-like for me, and part of me irrationally thinks they can only be worn with pants. If anyone has any pictures of otherwise, please send them my way.
I feel like they would look perfect with tights and a dress! Or cute socks and a skirt!
They are so great. They are the Official Shoes of Bittersweet. I am going to buy them right now.
(The brown ones are even more me, but they are sold out of my size *sob*)
ETA: BOUGHT. Thanks, Jane! <3
I can’t wear loafers because, somehow, due to a phenomenon I cannot understand, every time I try one on I look like Olive Oyl so I have given up trying.
I think I will probably laugh at this comment all day.
I also have this problem. I have never been able to articulate it this well, so thanks for that!
I have this problem.
I have no photos, but I wore loafers with a cute skirt just the other week, and it looked adorable.
They go with everything. They are so chic.
I am right at this moment wearing loafers with tights, an a-line knee-length skirt, and button-up shirt with actual cufflinks because I had to go to a meeting this morning and pretend to be professional. A bit staid, to be sure, but the shoes are comfortable and I feel like I am successfully convincing people that I know how to adult.
I do loafers with tights and a skirt! Much better for gross weather than ballet flats.
Same! My current everyday shoes are loafers but they’re wearing out. I might have to go to the mall (downtown!) and try them on.
I did it. I went downtown to the mall and bought them. Even with Friday night Christmas traffic.
This problem was solved for me by the only sizes available in Canada being 5 and 6. What a relief!
Wanna make a 12-year-old cry? This.
But it’s so easy to make a 12-year-old cry for free…
*waves The Fault in Our Stars at my sister*
back! back! the feels repel you!
“Zayne from 1D doesn’t know you exist and will never have any idea who you are”
*Prepares blotting paper for Verger-style martini*
I got a makeup set much like this when I was twelve. I didn’t cry, but I WAS really excited. And looked rather clown-like for a while.
That hair clip is The Thing I Have Needed but did not know I needed until I saw it. It is the sartorial completion of my Look and it is making me capitalize funnily and I don’t care.
Jane Marie! With a shopping discount story! On The Toast! THIS IS MY FAVORITE DAY
True Fact: A copper-colored resin fig figurine will keep away vampires with a degree in interior design.
I bought that fig in rose gold when it was only on tiny sale and I love it so much I ain’t even mad that it’s only $2.38 now.
JAAAANE. I can’t stop myself from buying all of the sensible loafers and oxfords you keep posting. Don’t ever stop.
The only makeup I wear daily these days is mascara and powder and I still want that Ulta collection. Old desires die hard.
Right? I wear literally no makeup. I never wore makeup even when I was a teen and actually owned several of those giant makeup collections. But there is a part of my 12-year-old not-allowed-to-wear-makeup-to-school heart that still yearns for them.
That coat/jacket/robe thing on Nasty Gal rings up as $50 right now with the additional 40% they apply at checkout. I didn’t really want to get it that bad, but I feel like I’m wasting money by not getting it.
Why, Elaine! How did you know that I was searching high and low for one last metallic pseudocarp to put the finishing touch on my Festive False Fruits display? This fig is just perfect!
A+ for use of “pseudocarp”.
(Aww, I’d forgotten about Elaine!)
Ow! Gary, I know you’re grateful, but you can’t just hug me like that when I have my hair chain on!
Figwiggens need figs.
This is like slipping back in time a few years to the glory days of the Hairpin, and it makes me very happy.
it doesn’t even matter that i am boring and my makeup routine is barely there/unchanging. i want that goddamn ulta box. lots of drawers! lots of tiny trays! colorsssss!
I love Jane’s bargain bins and am so happy she’s at The Toast. I bought one dress from a bargain bin a few months and feel so proud and cool when I wear it.
Also, yes get that makeup case for the 12 year old in your life. I remember my mom having to explain to my dad why my sister would love a ridonculously ginormous case of makeup when we were about 12, and he just. didn’t. get it. He bought it for her, gave it to her, watched her unwrap it and sail OVER THE MOON with joy, and he still didn’t get it.
No love for the beautiful, so, so beautiful napkins? I admit to having a napkin fetish and will always covet thick, big, sumptuously illustrated mouth wipes but even for the uninitiated, those delft-inspired pieces of paper are pure dee-lite!
(Weirdly though, I don’t own any beautiful napkins because (a) I don’t entertain, period and (b) I feel guilty spending the money on something so frivolous, especially since, well, see A.)
I really want to get them from my mom (she has a tattoo inspired by delft pottery) but she’s one of those anti-paper-napkin people, so I might have to just get her some real art or something.
There is delft inspired quilting cotton that would make nice fabric napkins if you have a solid napkin urge but not in paper. This one is more geometric: http://www.equilter.com/product/213801/eclectic-e…
oops – or William Morris: http://www.equilter.com/product/203556/best-of-mo…
I always slip in the fabric store and some random piece of William Morris fabric falls in my hands and I have to take it home….
I have a small collection of nice cloth napkins that I use when I want to Treat Myself. Takeout on my nicest plates with silverware, tablecloth, goblet of water, and cloth napkin makes me feel fancy and cared for (takeout bc I don’t feel fancy when I know I have to wash pots and pans)
I have a box of paper napkins coveted in arty lobsters that I refuse to let anyone use. You may ADMIRE them, then place then back in the box.
I’m too much of a tree-hugger to use paper napkins. I have a huge stack of those kitchen flour-sacking towels with the red stripes from IKEA and I use those. (I use them for kitchen towels too, so they could really use a soak in bleach or something.)
PS to original comment…….Bargain Bin is, perhaps, the greatest internet Christmas present EVER!
The real problem with that $629 plaid coat from Barney’s Warehouse is that, when you wear it, you will have adventures. Granted, they will be fairly low-key, emotionally lightweight adventures, but they will tend to find you. You’ll inadvertently witness crimes; you’ll find yourself investigating things. You’ll be forced to chase dramatically after departing taxis and buses, and be obliquely threatened by well-dressed men. You’ll probably cross paths with Creatures of the Night, and end up spending a lot of time in libraries doing Arcane Research. You may attract familiars.
Or you could select something from J Peterman….
I was actually typing a response involving: “Do you write for J Peterman on the side?” when I figured I should click to display the other replies, and…
btws, I am Dust for Vomit….should have kept my Jezzie nom de comment
Ha! I’d bet there’re quiiiiiite a lot of us who’ve recently invaded, primarily to follow Jane around like the creepy stalkers we are…
I love both figs AND shiny things, but I hate useless tchotchkes. Still torn over this one.
Oh man, I barely ever give into impulse purchases, but I just bought those loafers. Boom. Merry Christmas to me.
(Reasoning: I am phasing all heels out of my life, particularly for my new laid-back standing-desk job, AND i currently don’t have a pair of black flats, AND I love investing in well-made apparel at a discount.)
I’m delighted to know there are others out there (the esteemed Jane Marie, no less!!) who have similar “paper napkins for any occasion” collections.
I read this, immediately left my office, and RAN to madewell to buy those loafers. Zero point zero regrets and shiny beautiful loafers on my feet.
Yay! The very first day I wore them and walked a ton and got a little start of a blister on my heel, so I took them off and tried again 2 days later and they’ve been fine every since, just FYI.
Good to know, thanks!! I just finished breaking in a pair of boots so may give my feet a couple days to recover before I venture out for a long walk in these.
Ugh. Anyone know what to do now that I am coveting the SHOES in the white jeans photo? Chico’s doesn’t sell shoes, and its sister company White House Black Market doesn’t have those shoes on their website. Anyone have any insider tricks on how to track down items that aren’t listed in a “complete your look” section?
Chico’s JUST stopped carrying shoes, so I’m betting those are deadstock. I use shopstyle.com for all searches like this. These are somewhat similar for ELEVEN DOLLARS: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IG74IMK/ref=asc_df_B0…
*faints* a direct reply from Jane Marie AND a personalized amazing deal?! This day just keeps getting better <333
Absolutely getting the fig. Getting several figs. I had dreams of a grandiose inedible fruit bowl, and IT SHALL BE ACTUALIZED.
I mean, $2.50 is just about the price where I’m tempted to buy it just so I can chuck it off a building or a boat or something. But there’s probably shipping costs, and chucking it off a boat would be littering, so I won’t.
(I can’t be the only person who has that reaction to shiny and slightly heavy-looking round objects, right?)
OMG I FORGOT ABOUT JANE CHILD
HOW?
I truly do not know, but I’m glad this long nightmare is over.
This is my first time at The Toast, and I am here for Deep Cuts/Bargain Bin and the wonderful Jane Marie. Glad both still exist!
I have that same William Morris fabric affliction. Those sinuous blue poppies! I feel like I deserve them a little bit because I finally made some curtains with my purple Strawberry Thief stash. But I can't. I will console myself by gazing at these curtains; they have antidepressant qualities.
JANE. That Jane Child song is a keystone in my Soundtrack To Getting Bratty. Its presence is NOT helping me not purchase that stupid ear cuff.
Hi!!! I followed you from the place that shall not be named. (hawker! cough) and am so delighted to have found you again. I look forward to reading more from you and the others here. 🙂