Dad Magazine: December 2015 Edition

by Jaya Saxena and Matt Lubchansky · December 21, 2015

 

DADMAG29 via

This month’s Dad Magazine is sponsored by Sara Clugage in honor of her friend Christine Elliott.

Jaya Saxena is a New Yorker who writes for lots of things. The Toast, Uncommon Courtesy, and New Amsterdam Mystery Company are some of them. Follow her on Twitter @jayasax. Matt Lubchansky makes comics and occasionally leaves his apartment in New York. His work includes Please Listen to Me and New Amsterdam Mystery Company. He’s on Twitter, and doesn’t expect you to get his name right.


202 Comments

    1. evieskye +46

      And winterizing the house! You don’t want the pipes to burst do you? (And if you’re my dad–using the legs of jeans that became jorts to insulate/ cover up outside faucets)

      1. LeastBittern +144

        When he was building our house, my dad insisted on burying the pipes six inches deeper than the law – and the blueprints – required.

        The week where all of our friends’ pipes froze and ours did not was one of the best of his life. “Oh, come over, use our shower, use our washing machine!”

      1. dorianneemmerton +26

        The Canadian release includes a Farenheit to Celsius chart so that when your daughter says she’s cold and you say “But it’s 70 in here!” and she says “I don’t know what temperature that is but it’s too damn cold” then you can look it up and respond “It’s 21 in your newfangled counting”.

        (Does not guarantee that she will not continue by claiming that 24 is an optimal indoor temperature, and/or look at the thermometer herself and yell “This needle is BELOW the 70.”)

    4. ectocool +40

      It will also include a feature debating the proper length of time to turn the heat on ‘just to take the edge off.’ Is it 18 minutes? 21? Read and find out!

  2. ppyajunebug +148

    YOU GUYS, MY MOM GAVE MY DAD “CRAZY” SOCKS FOR HANUKKAH BECAUSE APPARENTLY THAT IS THE ~THING~ IN HIS OFFICE RIGHT NOW AND HIS CO-WORKERS MAKE FUN OF HIS PLAIN SOCKS.

    I ALMOST CHOKED FROM KEEPING BACK THE LAUGHTER.

    She also gave him the Elon Musk biography, so it was the most Dad year of gifts I have ever seen.

    1. champagneghost +22

      So hip! So trendy! This is the cutest story!

      My partner’s grandma is so baffled by fancy socks!

  3. Crivens +65

    But they DID change the glue formula! It is not the same!!! I have charts!

    Also A+++ on the pokey man. I have tears.

  4. isabellebleu +107

    HOLIDAY DADS!! Please tell me about your holiday dads.
    I have a huge strapping guy of a step-dad, an ex-football player, whose truest loves include a sprawling collection of miniature ceramic houses. He has a whole array that are special just for Christmas, to be set up under the tree with a wee tiny ceramic train on its little ceramic tracks.

    1. ppyajunebug +55

      My dad refuses to sing the blessings over the menorah because when my sister and I were little, we always wanted to be the ones to sing it, so now he won’t let anyone else do them.

      That’s about as holiday as it gets in our household

    3. hmbmelly +64

      Until a couple years ago, all of my sisters and I (>college, even) would have a slumber party at the house on Christmas Eve. Dad would dress as Santa every year and let us speculate loudly about where Dad must be. “He must be taking a huge dumper; he’s missing Santa!”

      I <3 Christmas Dad. He’s like an overgrown kid. Similar to Sunday Dad.

    4. houblonchouffe +30

      My dad has taken to presenting us with large gift baskets of the Snack Food Towers species. They’re fun and often very useful for averting hangovers, for some reason.

      Last year he also gave us a rack of lamb. #ChefDad

    5. ramina +137

      Dad is injured this holiday season, and he usually does the majority of the decorating because he won’t come out loud and say it but HE LOVES CHRISTMAS. So my sister and I have been in charge. I walked in the door the other day and he was looking a little sad, and I asked why and he said “I just had the thought that because I’m hurt, I can’t lift you guys up so you can put the angel on the tree this year. But we haven’t done that since you were little.” And then I just started crying.

    7. logicbutton +47

      My grandpa had a train that would come out for Christmas, too! It was a nice running model train that he kept in great working order, but it had to have been at least fifty years older than I was. He’d set it up under the tree and it would chug around loudly, and we kids would watch for the little man in one of the cars who was moving crates of milk bottles, and sometimes the train would catch on the track and sparks would fly out and the whole rig would smell like an electrical fire. We loved that thing.

    8. fcjaugusta +53

      My granddad used to have this pair of tight-ish, polyester, bright red, plaid pants that he wore to Christmas parties.

      My granddad is also literally a rocket scientist, so it’s like Peak Nerd Dad.

      1. walrathem +49

        My Grandpa has a pin that has the letter “L” in an international “No” sign (the red circle) and he wears it every December. It’s so great to watch people get the joke.

      1. isabellebleu +3

        While I find that he is not, I was so delighted to finally get home from holiday-doos & watch some videos in search of the answer to this question. 🙂

    10. Kate +38

      My dad spends the majority of December tinkering with pickles (not a euphemism). He discovered a few years ago that he gets great joy from pickling so now it’s a whole month of comparison shopping for the perfect cucumbers, hunting for just the right jars and perfecting his recipe. Once they’re made, he routinely checks on them. Sometimes you’ll catch him just standing at the open fridge, gazing adoringly at this big vat of pickles. Then he gives them out as Christmas gifts.

      He also openly sorts his Christmas gifts into “Yes,” “No” and “Maybe” piles. The yeses are immediately accepted and the nos get returned. Your gift landing in the maybe pile makes it a very stressful Christmas indeed.

    11. clairebm +20

      My Dad has a great tradition of pretending to be unenthusiastic about things whilst secretly loving it.

      He complained so much the year I decided to put up Christmas lights at the house, how much effort it was, blah blah. I had moved out the next year, and my Mum couldn’t wait to tell me how Dad had put up all the Christmas lights himself, and really wanted to show me. Naturally he’d not only put up the lights, but had purchased more lights to add, to improve on what I’d done!

    12. depizan +34

      Every Christmas eve after we went to bed, dad and mom would blow up dozens of balloons and fill the entire living room. Dad would make elaborate balloon creations. Sometimes Christmas day he would wear said balloon structures on his head while we unwrapped presents. A few years ago, it was just me and one sister together for Christmas, and she hadn’t been able to get balloons in time, but she did have some free condoms from Planned Parenthood. So she blew the condoms up and put them around our tree. It…was a valiant effort, but not quite the same.

  5. Megan +75

    Side note: today is my dad’s favorite day of the year because the days start getting longer again. He’s really into sun-related things. Like he would always lecture us on vacations for not getting up at 5:30 to watch the sun rise.

    1. Laura +6

      Your dad = my dad! The short winter days really bum him out, so the winter solstice is his favorite. Come to think of it, I should call him today.

    2. zacharysfletcher +13

      Your dad = me. I panic a little when I hear people talk about abolishing daylight savings, because that would mean staying on awful, early-sunset winter time all year. (Granted, the sun is out longer in the summer regardless, but I love the no-sunset-till-8:30 thing and would hate to lose it.)

    3. Apollonia +14

      The sun rises at 4am here at the moment so thank god we’re not expected to get up for that. But I do have summer time Christmas dad haranguing everyone about sunscreen and the dangers of skin cancer who then BBQ’s shirtless while holding a beer.

    4. northern_bird +6

      I live above the Arctic Circle and although we are shivering through another frigid December, one of the lovely parts of it is always being up for the sunrise from about November to early February. 🙂

      Happy Solstice to your dad!

  6. blushingflower +33

    I am at my parents’ for Xmas and it’s kind of amazing to be in my childhood home with my father and notice just how many of his mannerisms I have adopted

    1. Katiezog +39

      Oh god yes.

      Only my dad has the habit of putting the remote right next to his crotch as some sort of channel protecting fail safe.

      2. daisicles +36

        Well, of course. He’s not really sleeping, just resting his eyes while he otherwise devotes his full attention to the tv, and obviously he’s just keeping the remote where it’s most comfortable while he watches intently with his eyes closed.

    3. pretty_monster +12

      if napping + war movies is a Dad Thing, i am becoming a dad. war movie naps are The Best Naps.

  9. LacaunaKale +25

    Dad gifts, go.
    My Dad is getting a guided scotch/food tasting walk (okay, fine I halfway bought this so I could come along), and a flannel shirt.
    What is your Dad getting/got?

    1. ramina +23

      I bought mine a popcorn popper, but not the hot air kind because “those suck” (his words) – the kind where you pour oil in and then it stirs it around and you flip it over and the top turns into a popcorn bowl? We had one when we were kids and loved it, but now he’s tired of microwave popcorn and wants to make the good stuff again and couldn’t find anything he liked at Bed, Bath and Beyond. Praise Target and their Weird Holiday Kitchen Gadget selection.

      1. cleoreads +13

        I love that kind! I have one like that that my dad gave me as a college graduation gift. He got it at our neighbors yard sale and was SO PLEASED because he couldn’t find that kind at the store, plus it was a bargain. Our neighbor was reportedly a bit horrified when both of my parents cheerfully said it’d be my graduation gift – I’m sure they got me something else too, but the popcorn popper is the thing I still have and treasure.

      2. bethcorriveau +14

        I have one of those Target oil-stirring upside down-bowl popcorn poppers and we made popcorn when my dad was visiting for Thanksgiving and he was FASCINATED by it. Your dad will love it.

      3. queen_of_filth +20

        A WHIRLY POP? My dad loves his Whirly Pop and will use it as an excuse to talk about how popcorn is a whole grain. A+++ dad shopping.

      4. laureleye +4

        oh, we had one of those when I was little and it was so good! and then it broke and I guess they are hard to find because we never replaced it.

        maybe next year, after my parents have moved, I will get him one of those, because my dad *loves* popcorn.

    2. Angelan_ +10

      My dad’s Dad Hobby was cycling so we used to get him, like, fancy soap for bike cleaning (yes they sell soap specifically for cleaning bikes.).

    3. heyheyemkay +27

      A nice new pair of headphones that he can use to listen to all those episodes of Columbo that I got him on DVD last year.

      I will never be able to top the Columbo gift. I can only hope to prop up his continued glee over the years with slightly lesser gifts.

    4. Judy +46

      My Dad passed away 8 years ago, when I was 24. My Dad-in-law suffers from dementia and is in a memory care facility. We got him a mixed pack of candy bars that my mother in law can bring him one at a time. It is all still very Dad.

      P.S. This is why I love Dad Magazine so much and always read the comments. They make me happy, not sad.

      1. kateroden +22

        I lost my dad a few years ago, and I weirdly get so much comfort from Dad Magazine too. It’s bittersweet but I love hearing about everyone’s wonderful dads.

        1. silverandsnow +15

          Me too! My dad was definitely in the Dad Magazine target audience, so seeing the cover and reading the comments is a lovely reminder of the person he was.

    5. gull_wing +21

      Edmund de Waal’s new book and hand cream from Lush because clay dries his hands out. He speaks fondly of the time my mom got him nice face stuff got him ten years ago and you know, Dad, you’re allowed to buy your own fancy toiletries, right?

      1. fromthelandwithlove +4

        Oh man, my dad has the same clay problem! I got him a book of Arabic mosaic designs to inspire his artwork, but in the past I have walked into Sabon and said “give me the most intense moisturizer you have.” (the fact that it usually smells like vanilla lavender is a bonus, really.

    6. ayelltee +11

      Gift certificates, because he’s become harder to buy for since he’s in downsizing/non-clutter mode. One to Tackledirect for fishing gear (will attach a bag of gummy fish to the card to carry the theme) and one to Duluth Trading Co, home of large plaid jackets and other warm gear that he loves.

      1. Mrs_Peel +3

        This is my mom (who just sold her house and moved into a studio apartment). I’m also focusing on the gift certificates and stuff we can do together (e.g., spa day for her birthday).

    7. gripyfish +16

      My dad is a History Dad, so he’s getting two books: When Books Went to War by Molly Guptill Manning (which I expect him to scorn because it’s in paperback even though that’s the whole point, the US Army books it’s about were also paperback so it’s thematic), and The Quartet by Joseph Ellis.

    8. Laura +29

      My dad is an avid jotter-down of notes & believer that one should Always Have a Pen, so I have sent him a Moleskine notebook and some enviable gel pens. He will not know from Moleskine but it makes me happy to think that I have made him .00001% more hip.

    9. cleoreads +12

      We celebrated Christmas with my parents early this year. My mom got him the Elon Musk autobiography (mentioned above).

      Mr. Cleo got my dad a hunk of fancy smelly cheese and my dad was SO happy.

    10. m98widow +25

      A book about weather. Because 90 percent of his time is spent thinking about weather, planning about weather, or watching the Weather Channel.

    11. ipomoea +18

      For my dad: the Hamilton biography, three weed truffles, and then a pack of fancy Fran’s chocolates for when the munchies hit after the truffle.

      For my FIL: a local microbrew, a book about alternative energies at home, and a book about homesteading in Alaska.

      For Mr Ipo: framed picture of the heirs, bottle of scotch, rocks glasses (he specifically has mentioned square ones).

    12. friendofdaja +16

      My dad’s getting a very nice (and actually only $30) cashmere scarf, because he likes to look nice but rarely buys himself clothes, and I want him to have the option of looking snazzy for his winter job interviews.

      I’m tucking in fun little toys (a slinky! INFLATABLE TOAST!), because he told me he wanted “fun stuff” for Christmas.

    13. Mrs_Peel +8

      Trader Joe’s snacks, including those little crackers he likes and some fancy chocolates.

      (Now that we have a Trader Joe’s here, it’s not as exciting as when I used to drive that stuff 250 miles, but it’s the thought that counts, right?)

    14. beecaveroad +6

      A Joe Jackson CD and a book, because that’s what he asked for. I’ll be eagerly perusing the comments for ideas for good Dad books!

    15. katmarie13 +14

      Dad is getting a new jacket, because his old one is 20 years old and falling apart.

      He is also getting Hickory farms, as is custom immemorial. Cheddar cheese, sweet hot mustard, and beef summer sausage, always and only. It’s supposed to be the beef stick, but that was discontinued a few years back, but shockingly he has adjusted and made his peace with this change.

    16. westernstudies +15

      – The Oxford American music issue (it’s Georgia this year!!!!)

      – Strangers Below: Primitive Baptists and American Culture by Joshua Guthman (family history involves a loooot of Primitive Baptists in rural south Georgia, he’s obsessed with making sure stuff from the region is in the ~historical record~, and when you’re working on a Ph.D. in southern things you suddenly have a lot to talk about with your dad!!!!)

      – a model of the Queen Anne’s Revenge for him to put together (I told my mom to tell him I was giving him a boat)

      – a Walter White-as-Heisenberg action figure that’s like a foot and a half tall, wtf (also $10 on Amazon??? I think he admires Heisenberg’s… determination. yes. that is what we’ll call it. my mom is getting him the porkpie hat.)

    17. rangiferina +8

      I made him a photobook of the vacation we took together this fall! VERY glad I thought of that, as he’s usually really hard to find presents for…

    18. jennp421 +11

      A shredder (he’s been talking about needing one for ages) and Cubs stuff (because my parents had to move to Texas from Illinois a few years ago, and he loves reminding people that he is not from there, and he thinks next year is going to be a good year for the Cubs).

    19. msjinxie +14

      Pa Jinx is getting Kareem Abdul Jabaar’s new novel & cd by this Irish folk music dude (the album is inspired by the Irish American & Jewish communities in NYC in the 50’s, and thus is PERFECTION for Pop, who was born in Dublin & split his time as a teen between there & NYC, and also played the accordion in a series of Irish music groups from 12-years old onwards).

    20. daisicles +21

      My siblings and I went in on a family photo shoot, so he’s getting a couple of framed photos and more unframed prints from that. I also made Dad some fudge because, even though I just follow the recipe on the back of the marshmallow cream jar, he thinks fudgemaking is arcane magic and something he is incapable of doing no matter how much he likes eating it. That’s technically not a Christmas present, but since I only make fudge at Christmas, we’ll count it.

        1. daisicles +4

          Not if you go the cheater’s way with the marshmallow cream recipe! As has been traditional in my family since maybe the advent of the fudge recipe on the back of the jar! I am not okay with proper fudge recipes – those ARE witchcraft.

          1. sprinkles6 +10

            Agreed! Last time I tried a traditional recipe, it said “stir until it becomes difficult to stir”. What does that even mean? As an ex-softball pitcher, I think my definition of difficult to stir was very different than the author’s. It resembled a delicious brick (I ended up melting it down into fudge sauce).

    21. MuseKray +14

      A few years ago my dad found the trend of sea salt being everywhere, especially in cheap junk food, ridiculous. Like, he found it hilarious We are not a family that gives gifts typically, but I always joked that I’d buy him a carton of sea salt. He also likes licorice, so once I get a job again, I’m going to buy him the super hoity-toity Jacobsen salty black licorice.

    22. notaaliyah +11

      Mine got the Chernow biography of Hamilton. He is super excited to see the musical in Chicago next year because his friend saw it “and it gave Mr. B—– faith in America and in the American dream again, notaaliyah, so we HAVE to go.”

      Biography of old, dead white man + turning my dad’s Hamilton obsession up to 11 = PEAK HOLIDAY DAD.

    23. Alucius_ +42

      Full credit to my sister on this one. She went back to our childhood home, some 7-8 years after my parents finally sold it and managed to persuade the new owner to let her take the 25 lb rock that my dad had stopped our van to grab from the side of the road and put in the front garden. It is now in the front garden of my parents’ new house.

    24. Kate +11

      My dad’s favorite chocolate/pb candy was discontinued about 20 years ago. I found a recipe that approximates it and now he gets that every year.

    25. dorianneemmerton +13

      A Christmas miracle happened – maybe my mom nagged him enough? He circled some things in the Canadian Tire flyer and left it around where she could find it. So she communicated it onto me so I got him a set of long nose pliers and some set for working with electrical wiring.

    26. enidnotrebecca +9

      I found a copy of an old book about his beloved soccer team. It was published during his peak supporter days before I was born, so it’s going to be a nostalgia fest at my parents’ house. The perfect excuse to regale people with Rangers lore is part of the gift. Sorry, mum!

    27. Strophoria +14

      I’m broke, so I’m taking my dad to St.Viateur bagel so he can experience the magic of a fresh Montreal bagel. Also they are only 80¢ each.

    29. laureleye +4

      My dad is getting Seveneves by Neal Stephenson. The kindle version, because my parents are trying to sell their house and I know neither one would be happy to get yet another thing they’ll need to pack up and move.

    30. LaxMom +5

      My dad is getting the complete set of Daniel Craig bond movies, so he can update mom before he drags her to watch the latest one. And O scale model train people.

    31. wondertwin2 +12

      My dad is getting gift cards to the Bass Pro Shop from everyone and he is soooooo excited. I went in there for the first time to buy the card and that place is Peak Dad. Last minute people: If your dad would wander through hundreds of fishing rods for an hour and happily buy those pants where the legs unzip to become shorts, consider this option.

      1. aurorabirdialis +2

        My dad does in fact adore that store and in true dad fashion can happily discuss the pros and cons of that compared to Gander Mountain and Cabellas.

    32. raqueue +7

      My husband got my Dad a set of drill bits to go with the drill he got him. He also bought his Dad a new winch.

      The dadness of it all is irresistible.

    34. RunGracieRun +2

      Bourbon tasting at the hot new seafood restaurant in town.
      Mom was peevish, but calmed down when she saw that my sister had really arranged for the tastings to be splashes not shots. Plus she loved her scallops with lemon butter.
      Then we went home and continued watching the Harry Potter marathon.

  10. thebellewitch +35

    Dad hobbies! Step right up and share your dad hobbies here.

    Most everything my dad does is relentlessly practical: Gardening, woodworking. He’s also taken up homebrewing, which is practical if you squint, but being a good engineer, has expanded to home wine-making and home distilling. Don’t tell him I told you, he’s convinced the Feds would raid him if they knew about the couple gallons of apple brandy he makes each year.

    1. VioletandIrises +66

      For some reason, I read gardening as “gardeneering,” and I feel like whatever gardeneering is, it would be very Dad.

      1. Mrs_Peel +31

        That sounds like a really hard-core version of gardening involving survival skills (like mountaineering).

    2. rkfire +26

      Mr. Hieu isn’t even a dad but I’m now convinced that his dad hobby will be geology, or specifically: the earnest & relentless sharing information on the history of rock formations.

      2. Mrs_Peel +30

        My boyfriend has the Dad Hobby thing down to a T already. He’s currently working endlessly on a 1940s British car that refuses to run and requires frequent eBay parts shipped from Australia.

        He also likes to do things like (e.g.) rigging up a 1920s radio set to play modern radio stations (using an incredibly complicated set-up I can’t even begin to describe). There is some electrocution risk, but I think he likes the element of danger…

    3. gripyfish +26

      Is Ebay a hobby? My dad is the Ebay king; he has a whole packaging station set up in his storage room, and if a week goes by without him sending out at least five things, it’s a wasted week.

      He also enjoys gardening (mostly herbs that he then uses in the holiday cooking with great pride) and working on his second book (a bibliography of every book ever published by a US president).

    4. cleoreads +15

      Yay for engineer dads.

      Mine went through a pretty serious homemade wine phase when I was a kid. Also bread baking. And gardening. And photography.

      Currently his main hobby is woodworking. He loves planning and making prototypes! He’s making wooden napkin rings for every one this year and they are true works of art. They all have different geometric patterns inspired by quilt patterns. (And he’s made A LOT of prototypes).

      1. thebellewitch +11

        That is really, really cool. Woodworking is such an engineer hobby. I took a class in high school and figured out that I am sloppy and imprecise and impatient and basically terrible at it. The guilt of being the lazy daughter of an engineer is real.

        1. dancingcorvid +6

          sing it sister!

          I discovered purely through trial and error that the fiber arts, including sewing, knitting and etc, hide imprecision and laziness so long as you are not actually tailoring something, so you can be a wizard in your own field. Plus and also being able to make something for my notoriously sself sufficient dad is pretty great.

    5. megalesias +13

      My dad referees soccer on the weekends, every weekend from march – november, to the point where Mom has to schedule an event ~4 weeks ahead of time if she wants him to actually take it into consideration, otherwise he’ll be booked up with games.

    6. ectocool +15

      Classic cars! Making classic car models! Liberally lengthening a lunch break to enjoy a classic car show! Knowing the make, model and year of every car just by the sound of the engine! CARS.

    7. Mrs_Peel +8

      My dad’s hobbies at the moment mostly involve going out to movies and jazz. But he’s retiring in two years, and I’m kind of curious to see what he might take up as a hobby. (He’s very handy and has a great big basement). I might get him a beer-making kit as a retirement present.

    8. bethcorriveau +46

      With the exception of cooking my dad’s hobbies are the opposite of practical. His main one is collecting tiny Star Trek ships, which he neither displays anywhere nor keeps in their original packaging, just throws them in a shoebox under his desk and occasionally takes them out and pretends to shoot photon torpedos at us.

    9. evieskye +41

      One of my dad’s chief hobbies was picking up cans and trash around the neighborhood. When we rode bikes together he’d put a bag on his handlebars for the trash. When he had enough cans (ours and any he picked up) he’d take them to the recycling place for money that he would donate to the homeless shelter when enough was collected (he kept a log of the price of metal, how many pounds he recycled, etc). Making charts and graphs about weird things was his other main hobby.

    10. coloredlights +14

      I really wish my dad would GET A HOBBY. I don’t know how he exists with just work and watching the news and going to the gym a couple times a week, but he seems to be very content with absolutely nothing else to occupy his time/brain. He doesn’t read or collect things or do yardwork (I guess he does have birdfeeders). I don’t get it.

      This makes Christmas presents practically impossible, obviously. He does like booze, so one year I got him a home-brewing kit in hopes of kick-starting a hobby, but he tried it once and then stopped. This year I’m giving up and getting him bourbon.

      1. tragicallyludicrous +13

        Some people don’t really need hobbies? If I’d had to list “hobbies” it would be mostly “watching crap TV/dicking around on the Internet”, so maybe he’s fine.

    11. OneLeftGlove +25

      My dad used to reload ammo. He built a workbench the size of a sedan and was incredibly proud that neither he nor anyone he knew nor anyone *they* knew would have to buy ammunition again for the rest of their lives. He was also very proud of how shiny he would get the brass before re-loading. (Please don’t turn this into a conversation about how guns or hunting are good / bad. My dad is elderly and ill and suffers dementia and I don’t want to be put in the position of either attacking or defending the things he used to love.)

      He also loved solitaire. After he retired, he played so much that the repetitive shuffling gave him a rash on his hands, so he started wearing latex gloves while playing.

      Dads! 🙂

    12. Rebosaurus +60

      My dad’s hobby is being a viking. He gets together with a bunch of other old guys to work on their ship (there are so many tarring sessions). Every summer, they make a little money by taking tourists out sailing, and then they go on a sailing trip to other parts of Denmark and visit viking fairs. He pretends he’s embarrassed whenever he’s forced to dress up in a tunic and leather booties (it looks ridiculous with his glasses), but really he loves it.

    14. ayelltee +19

      Three main Dad hobbies for my 83-year-old, long-retired dad:

      MUSIC: more than a hobby, since sometimes he makes money at it. He’s a bass player, plays regularly with a few combos/bands, and teaches two adult students too.

      FISHING: lifelong Great Lakes lake fisherman, and when my husband expressed interest, Dad gave him a DVD called Tactical Panfish.

      WEATHER CHANNEL: the default TV station at DadHouse. He gets much of his news by way of the Weather Channel, so “There’s a line of heavy thunderstorms across the South. Obama is supposed to visit Atlanta tonight but he might not get in.”

    15. laureleye +10

      since he retired my dad has taken up astronomy. he has a telescope nearly as long as I am (I am very short), all these charts showing which constellations and other features will be visible throughout the year at his latitude, and a fancy laser pointer for pointing out things in the sky when he convinces us to go outside and stargaze with him.

      for awhile this also involved a secondary hobby of sending peer-reviewed articles to the climate change deniers in his local amateur astronomy society’s email list, but eventually he got tired of arguing and just left the group, which he was sad about. Science Dad!

    16. Jamila +11

      Ham radio and square dance calling. Apparently, he lives in 1973. He really really wants to get into punkin’ chunkin’ but that’s more of a team activity and he can’t find anyone else interested. So he just goes to the events and takes a million pictures of flying pumpkins.

    17. eegghh +3

      I’m really late with this, but during prohibition americans were allowed to hobby bottle 200 gallons of beer per year for their own consumption. That was later expanded to many wines and ciders and such so his brandy might be ok. It varies state by state, but as long as it’s for your use and not for sale it’s probably fine. 200 gallons is a LOT of gallons (12 bottles of wine is like 2.4 gallons of wine).

      Here’s a state by state breakdown: http://www.ncsl.org/research/financial-services-a…

    18. aurorabirdialis +2

      Dad hobbies. My dad has incredibly dad hobbies. He collects survival gear and military stuff, is really into history and zombies. Also conspiracy theories and outdoor gear.

  11. ramina +31

    ALSO. Those following along in the Dad Vs. The Table Saw saga, he’s doing pretty good – doc has given the okay for a bunch of stuff, he’s doing PT, whatever.

    I don’t think that the doctor expected him to be on a ladder yesterday morning directing me on how to reassemble the ceiling fan, though. (/adds HUNG AND WIRED CEILING FAN to resume)

    1. captainmarvelly +31

      You could also put that phrase on your resumé to indicate that you are a well-endowed, highly energetic fan of ceilings.

  12. VioletandIrises +17

    So I went into my bathroom at 3 am today and found a roach in my bathtub.

    I didn’t think anything could be more terrifying, and then I saw that dummy…

  14. champagneghost +42

    Every holiday, I fervently hope that my dad suddenly adopts a normal Dad hobby that has nothing to do with nice watches, orchids, or fancy tea (which he is incredibly picky about). This of course never happens, and this year his “thing” is fountain pens

        1. Thujaplicata +8

          There are a bunch of fun fountain pens here, in a variety of colors and a variety of prices. I haven’t bought a fountain pen from the website, but I have bought other things and have been happy with them.

          2. keristars +5

            I like JetPens a lot, too, but I tend to prefer to buy fountain pens from the Goulets because I can order a “surprise!” sample of ink, too 😀

            You’ll see that they have very similar FP stock, but a few variations – like JetPens has the Pilot Petit but Goulets have fancier things like the Viscontis. JP has a lot more paper and general writing/stationery stuff, but the Goulets are fp-focused.

            Otherwise, GP and JP are probably the two most affordable, beginner-friendly places to start out on fountain pens!

        2. keristars +16

          what kinds of things is he doing with his pens? writing with them at work, using them for notes or doodling, just collecting cool ones?

          because there’s a few different ways you could go. the easiest, if he likes different inks and drawing, would be to get a Ink Sample Package from GouletPens.com – for about $10-15 you can get a set of different inks on a theme (whether “blues” or “water-resistant” or “Brian’s Favorites”), or you could also sign him up for the monthly Ink Drop (~$10/month) which delivers 5 ink samples once a month for as long as you specify.

          you could also get a cleaning/tuning kit – loupe, pen flush, rubber grippy, syringe, different grades of sandpaper and metal sheets.

          or maybe a nice display stand or case? there are loads of different pen cases out there, and the nice clear acrylic display stands are great if he has several that are more works of art (like nice watches can be) to show off. they make wood and leather display cases, too.

          places to check out: Goulet Pens, Anderson Pens, PenChalet, Levenger… I can’t afford the Luxury Jewelry-type pens (Visconti, etc) and so I’m not really familiar with the shops that don’t have the downmarket things. Goulet is my go-to because they have a good variety of different types of pens, loads of ink (it’s their specialty), and a good helping of paper options, too.

          1. champagneghost +17

            this is amazing! (and much more helpful than me googling variations of “nice fountain pen things”) i was kind of being jokey when i asked BUT this is even better, and i really appreciate you taking the time to write this out. none of us are really sure why this is His Thing this year, but he does have a picture of all of the inks he’s collected as his family chat avatar so that’s a start.

            i for serious have this and Thujaplicata’s link saved in a draft e-mail so i can access it whenever. thank you both!!

          2. keristars +10

            I get asked “do you have tips?” all the time, so I assumed serious 🙂 I’m somewhat known at work for my stationery habit, and my collection of pens, and several of my coworkers have asked for advice about buying a new pen, or gifts for other people, or even just why I like them so much.

            If he’s got inks as his avatar, I think getting a sample set would be really cool for him! One of the fun things about being a fountain pen enthusiast for daily or art use is the sheer number of inks out there. There are so many variations on color and also property like water resistance, shading (a water color effect of the ink based on how heavily it’s applied), even glitter. Quink and Bleach is a really cool artist’s blog – he uses the inks for art with water and bleach to get different effects.

            You could get the Goulet Pens Ink Drop for randomly themed samples, there’s also mini-bottles of Diamine ink available at JetPens and I think there’s a giftset of 3 Pilot Iroshizuku inks out there – Iroshizuku are some of the most beautiful bottles and really neat colors. (Pelikan Edelstein inks are also gorgeous – both Iroshizuku and Edelstein are pricier, because of those heavy glass bottles, but that means they’re really stunning on a shelf or desk.)

            Oh, and both JetPens and GouletPens have blog posts up recently for gift ideas for the fountain pen enthusiast in your life 🙂

          3. champagneghost +22

            Wowowow! You have saved Christmases and also all other Dad related holidays and I wish I had a Gif that adequately captures how I feel. Instead, I will present to you my favorite Gif ever:

          5. Thujaplicata +1

            Oooh, stationery! Where do you get yours? The little local office supply store in town shut down a few years ago and now everywhere I can think of to buy stationery locally just has cards. Letterpress cards are nice and all, but I’d like some good paper as well. Where do you usually get stuff?

          6. keristars +6

            It depends on what I want the stationery for, to be honest. I have a few places I go:

            JetPens and GouletPens for known-to-be FP-friendly notebooks and journals – they also have sheets of Tomoe River paper which is bible-thin and excellent for showing off ink, but very pricey (I’ve only used it in my Hobonichi Techo planners/diaries, but it’s lovely). I like Rhodia dotpads the best. GouletPens carries Clairfontaine and …I forget the other one Triomphe? note sets, which are nice, but I never use them.

            OfficeDepot and Staples for general multi-use stuff. The recycled bamboo legal pads were my go-to at work until I started recycling old letterhead. (not for external use, of course, but for notes and scratch paper) Sometimes I’ll get notecards and things from the box stores, but I can’t always trust that they’ll work with fountain pens, which is the top priority for me – I’ll use ballpoints, but they hurt my hands (which is partly why I switched to fps), and felt-tip pens tend to have the same requirements as fountain pens.

            For special or fancy use, I make my own with art supplies from JoAnn’s or Michael’s or the local art store. I use watercolor notebooks and cut the paper down, or get the blank DIY card sets. I also make use of scrapbooking papers for decorations. I think OhSoBeautifulPaper.com has instructions somewhere for how you can do your own (the blog tends to be TOO wedding/baby focused and there are lots of advertorial posts that make me feel like it’s not very authentic? but the stuff is pretty). JetPens has a template/stencil to help make your own envelopes, but I just wing it, it’s not very hard to do once you know what you’re doing.

            Also, you can get stuff from Amazon, if you’re okay with using them. Lots of times, you can find decent things at Barnes & Noble, though I don’t always trust them for fountain pen friendliness.

            I’m limited in budget, so my preferences are a little different from my director, who is also into stationery. She shops at Levenger and SeeJaneWork, and a few other boutiques that I’m not sure about the names. We have a stationery shop five minutes away from work where she goes, too, but I’m never off work when they’re open and it always looks too expensive for me.

    2. cleoreads +20

      My dad’s into fancy tea too! I got him a gift certificate to a fancy tea shop. He also does woodworking and other more typical things. But he loves his tea – it’s kind of the ideal hobby for a retired engineer like my dad – lots of things to measure and time and lots of variables to test. And then you get to drink the results.

  15. smallpistachio +53

    When my dad sings “Oh Hanukkah Oh Hanukkah,” he sings “…that reminds us of days long a-GOAT,” because that was how I understood the lyric when I was two years old.

    I’ve been an adult for a long while now, but Dad still insists on singing it “a-GOAT.”

    1. urspostrophe +17

      Awww. My dad still calls coffee “choffee,” because that’s what my little sister called it when she was a toddler and would complain about my dad’s coffee-breath goodbye kisses. Dads!

    2. gripyfish +15

      My entire family has been unable to pronounce Pinocchio as anything other than Pinot-CHEE-cho for years, thanks to my little sister’s amazing misreading of it when she was three.

      1. evieskye +18

        That’s adorable. Our family says Pit-oh-key-oh because that’s how I said it at 3 at Disneyland when Pinocchio comforted me after Captain Hook scared the shit out of me.

    3. Apollonia +6

      My entire family still calls pineapple “pinapoo” because my little sister used to spell it that way.

  16. manulpika +42

    Yesterday my dad told me he is fed up with breaking his coffee mugs, because they match and now he doesn’t have enough to constitute a proper set. They are probably from crate and barrel or similar and are not particularly fancy. He will be buying himself new mugs that he can accidentally break without any of the (direct quote) “emotional baggage” of breaking an important mug.

    Edit to add: this is not about my mom wanting him not to break stuff. He is the only one who drinks out of these mugs. He is just very invested in maintaining a set.

    1. Alli525 +7

      Mugs are a PERFECT gift opportunity, though, if you are procrastinating on holiday shopping like me (4 days away?????????)

    2. walrathem +8

      There are places to find replacement things for rebuilding sets- if he can get you the information from the bottom of the mug you might have a chance.

  17. gull_wing +30

    hahaha guess whose dad found his daughter’s Instagram account* (that doesn’t even have my full name??) and liked a picture from two years ago thereby prompting her to make it private as fast as her thumb could swipe.

    *Infrequently used and 90% pictures of food and 10% pictures of the dog BUT STILL

    1. coloredlights +20

      My grandfather did. Holidays were also time for mixed nuts IN SHELLS, complete with nutcracker to open them. I have memories of trying very hard to open a brazil nut with the nutcracker when I was little, and I don’t even like nuts.

      1. houblonchouffe +21

        I should have specified, in shells for sure. Wimpy little metal nutcrackers that make your hands hurt, picking out all the almonds because they’re the easiest to shell.

    2. ipomoea +11

      My brother and I were so violently opposed to nuts as kids I think we beat it out of my dad. Now we go over and he has eight kinds of homemade cookies.

    3. rangiferina +13

      definitely. which means his chair in the living room will always always always be surrounded by broken walnut shells from December-January. (which the dog LOVES to chew on. cronch cronch CRACK)

    5. pretty_monster +20

      absolutely! canned, shelled nuts are his preferred dad snack the rest of the year. he is absolutely delighted to be able to up the ante for the holidays: a giant bowl of in-the-shell nuts complete with crackers and pickers lives on the coffee table from thanksgiving to new years. my mother spends this same time of the year obsessively vacuuming the living room rug CONVINCED that there are shell fragments everywhere.

      *crack crush crack*
      “put your feet up!”
      *vacuum vroom vroom*
      *crack crush crack*
      – repeat –

      this is the soundtrack of the holiday season at my parents’ house.

    6. daisicles +7

      Yup. He’d buy these big bags of the mixed nuts and haul out his nutcracker and all. He hasn’t done that in a while but when I was a kid, he LIVED for mixed nuts during the holidays.

    7. MuseKray +8

      Yes! My mom is Turkish so he can snack on relatively cheap pistachios when she comes back from Turkey every year.

    8. catmanscrothers +3

      bags and bags of them! And I’m pretty sure we’ve bought him some really nice nutcrackers in the past, but somehow he’s always using the same old pair he’s had since the 70’s.

    10. truffleuffagus +13

      Just involuntarily shuddered thinking of the time when I cracked open a walnut at Grandma’s place about age six and many, many tiny bugs swarmed out. Merry Christmas!

  19. martinisforgiraffes +31

    I cannot believe that The Hobbies Issue of Dad Magazine does not include a full length feature article about model trains. The most dad of the hobbies.

    1. houblonchouffe +5

      This very morning, I received an email from my lovely husband saying “Future Us seem to be having a nice time:” with a link to this article about a Peak Dad a few hours south of us. Now, we are Not Kid People, we do not ever plan to reproduce, but I think MrChouffe is becoming a Dad anyway.

      (eta: this is Future Us mostly due to incorporation of Legos with train sets)

    2. wondertwin2 +3

      My dad inherited this hobby from my grandfather and has combined it with having eBay as a hobby to create basically the daddest thing ever (and it’s pretty lucrative).

  20. vmartinipie +77

    I got my dad a deck of cards that look just like the Windows 98 solitaire cards….so he can play computer solitaire IRL

    1. walrathem +14

      Who ever got that done was a brilliant, brilliant person. I almost got those for myself until I remembered that they won’t bounce all over the place when I win.

    2. thenog +11

      WHERE DID YOU FIND THOSE?? I need to know because my dad’s birthday is not-that-long after Christmas and I exhausted all my brain energy finding him a Christmas present (quadcopter, he’ll LOVE it) and he will adore those.

  21. RLT +70

    I don’t have a Dad but I have a father in law. Last time we visited, after the requisite amount of sitting around awkwardly drinking the instant coffee he breaks out for us whenever we visit, I suggested we visit his woodworking bench in his garage. This was a desperation move, but it paid off! Once we were there and we all admired how organized it was, I suggested a lively competition of shop abilities. I called it “Shop Rodeo” and asked father in law to come up with the areas of competition. We then spent our most engaged and happy hour ever spent together as I was soundly trounced in the hammering, sawing and eyeballing rounds. We are visiting him again next week and I am sure he is already coming up with new Shop Rodeo events and possibly even some charts and judging guidelines.

    All that is to say- I feel like I’ve already given him a Christmas present. The gift of knowing what the heck to do with us when we visit, that he will actually enjoy.

    1. Alli525 +19

      God, THIS. Mine went full-blown midlife crisis about 5-1/2 years ago and I haven’t spoken to him since the day he left. He’s functionally dead to me, except that somehow he found my real email address (instead of using my throwaway that wasn’t a throwaway yet when we were still speaking) and sent me an email last week and I almost threw my phone across the subway car in panic when I saw his name pop up in my inbox. Holidays are the worst. :/

  23. Mrs_Peel +76

    This month in Peak Dad-ness:

    I just found out that my Dad joined the board of his local neighborhood association, and he’s going to be walking around looking at Christmas lights and awarding a prize for the best display.

    (Also, my Dad is Jewish, which makes this doubly amusing to me).

    1. m98widow +20

      My dad HATES the holidays and would be happy sitting in a dark room by himself until January 2, but has also told me that he has volunteered to decorate his golf cart and drive any of the more infirm members of his retirement community in the Christmas parade if they so desire. Dads!

      1. Mrs_Peel +16

        Awww!

        (Our usual holiday observance consists of: forgetting that it’s Hanukkah, and then going to a deli for potato pancakes 2- 3 weeks later).

  24. thenog +23

    Not sure if this is PEAK dad or just penultimate dad, but the other day, I posted a picture of Google’s reminder to me that I only had seven days before I was coming home for the hols.
    Dad was the first person to comment, and his comment was “what do you want for Christmas dinner? I don’t think I want to make a turkey again this year, but if everyone wants that I’ll do it. I’m taking a poll.”
    Dads.

  25. superamazonbabe +36

    I needed ideas of what to get my parents for Christmas, and my dad suggested a vacuum cleaner my mom has had her eye on for awhile. He sent me an email with the deets (it’s on sale at Canadian Tire, OBVS) and prefaced it by saying: “here’s the info on the gift that sucks”

  27. raqueue +13

    I am disappointed by the lack of holiday lights articles in this edition.

    My Dad has been lighting our big fir tree every December for 20 years. It was 6 ft tall 20 years ago; it’s about four storeys now.

    For years, he had duct taped wooden ladders together to reach the top (using a broom as a light hanger). We bought him a new ladder last year, which he exchanged for a taller one.

    This year is the first year he hasn’t managed to reach the top. I think he feels a sense of defeat.

  28. annabel +13

    I have been dad-less for over 35 years, and we did not have a terrific relationship before he started deteriorating, but these threads always make me really happy. Enjoy your dads everyone!!

  29. AlisonB +7

    Where do dads learn that over the holidays they need to sort out the tree, get the mixed nuts ready (and nutcracker), make sure the heating is working etc. Obviously mums do these things too, but dads seem to take inordinate pride in them, like some kind of hunter-gatherer hangover “must get cave cosy” or something.

    Anyway, my dad’s hobbies include: the village Music Society which organises classical concerts, gardening, walking around with his arms behind his back, reading the paper and wtaching Sky Arts. He is hard to buy presents for as he is a Grumpy Old Man and has been known to lecture us on the economic gap between value of presents at point of sale and the value given to them by the recipient…we don’t do surprise presents anymore (for him). Lol.

  31. Floria +1

    My dad’s current big hobbies are yoga, pottery, and collecting Chinese tea and tea paraphernalia. He also dabbles in home-brewing and gardening.