“Docimedis has lost two gloves and asks that the thief responsible should lose their mind and eyes in the goddess’ temple.”
I mean, you have to admire that sort of commitment to intensity. Someone stole my gloves? I hope they lose their mind and eyes. Bring that kind of focused, petty energy to your enemies this weekend, my loves.
I…..kind of needed this.
How did I miss this when I visited the Roman Baths??
And why doesn’t he pray that the thief loses their hands? Seems more logical to me.
at least he let the guy keep his haAH DAMN IT SOMEONE MADE THIS JOKE TWO MINUTES AGO MAY YOU LOSE YOUR EYES AND YOUR MIND MERRIPAT
[insert evil laugh]
Oh hey, I found my gloves! nm
(staggering around the streets blind and insane) No probs
No take-backs! Gods don’t need a reason, just an excuse.
I’m going to remember this every time I see someone on Facebook respond “Prayers!” when they hear bad news.
By a strange coincidence I recently discovered that my EYES were STOLEN, therefore I beseech the goddess that the thief should LOSE THEIR GLOVES.
Fortunately my mind is still accounted for, Frankenstein Mafia Earphone Radio.
Ancient Greco-Roman curses were no joke.
I sure will!! (salutes, wearing stolen glove)
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to call down divine vengeance on my enemies,
Smite them all, right in the giblets, smite me a river of blood o Lord.
I love curse tablets so much.
Theres something simultaneously so Roman and so British about fervently wishing for the person who stole your gloves/cloak/ring/wife to have their blood drained by Neptune or their eyes melted or their intestines ‘quiet eaten away’
As far as I can remember one of them just has a list of names and ‘curse these people please’
Senicianus and Saturninus and Anniola better watch out.
“You’re in my prayers” just became so much more sinister.
Back in the good old days, when “I’ll I pray for you” wasn’t always a nice thing to say.
Some people pray for folks. Some people are why folks need praying for
As someone who frequently and fervently prays that her Rival fall into a conveniently open manhole, I approve of this post.
yay I get to be all about Bath today! 😀
My favourite of the curses was the one from the man who’d had 6 pieces of silver stolen from his belongings, so he dedicated them to the goddess and said that she was welcome to go recover them from the thief whenever it was convenient for her.
I think the Toast needs a range of inspirational posters along thes lines.
Seconded!
Thirded. I would seriously pay good money for those.
I’m kind of concerned for Vilbia now after reading the Wikipedia article. She was… devoured…?
“Docimedis has lost two gloves.”
That’s why Docimedis is so pissed: TWO gloves. Not a pair of gloves. Not gloves. Two gloves. ONE glove from TWO different pairs. That is genuinely messed up. I’d be APOCALYPTIC.
The weird thing is that this is probably the only historical trace left of Docimedis. His home, his career, his hopes and aspirations, his family and friends– everything else is dust and gone forever. All that survives is his name and a vindictive impulse over a pair of missing gloves. Chance or a laughing goddess bestowed on him a mote of immortality, and now he will be remembered for as long as civilization endures, as a guy who once had his gloves stolen.
I guess the takeaway lesson of Docimedis is that we never know which of our actions will survive beyond us, so we should endeavor to live gracefully. On the other hand, if he had been more forgiving, we would never have known about him at all. So maybe the lesson is that if we want to be remembered, we should be as petty and melodramatically vindictive as possible at every opportunity,
Personally, I’d rather be remembered for a kick-ass curse than for any of my so-called accomplishments..
I read that inscription and thought, “why does that sound familiar?” I was in Bath last year and saw those curse tablets. They were one of my favorite things about the baths. That, and imagining I’d run into Henry Tilney at any moment.
Because if his gloves were on the thief's hands at the time it would make it that much more unlikely that Docimedis would be able to recover them. The gloves, I mean.