“Paint me like one of your French girls.”
NOPE:
LANSING — The Snyder administration quietly trucked in water to state buildings in January of 2015 – ten months prior to Governor Snyder publicly admitting there was reason for concern in Flint, according to a document obtained by Progress Michigan.
“The gal that’s running against me is a 30-year-old, you know, mom, mother of two infants,” said Patton, a 62-year-old Republican from Strongsville, in a recent radio interview. “And I don’t know if anybody explained to her we’ve got to spend three nights a week in Columbus. So, how does that work out for you? I waited until I was 48 and my kids were raised, and at least adults, before we took the opportunity to try.”
Patton referred to Herold as a “young gal” and, while talking about his role in bringing additional school funding to his area, said, “I want to tell her, ‘Hey Sweetie, I just got 27 percent of the pie in just my district, which is nine times what should have been done.’”
This oral history of the Challenger disaster really rocked me:
Rhea Seddon (astronaut): I happened to be at an off-site building [near Johnson Space Center in Houston], doing some training for my next mission. The launch was supposed to start around the same time as our meeting, so we found a TV and turned it on. It’s always a joyful morning, especially to see friends go to space.
Corlew: We made sure they were all properly suited before they went into the shuttle, made sure everything was right, made sure the hatch was closed properly. The whole crew was really jovial that morning. It was a joke between me and Christa: I’d told her I was going to bring her an apple. The day before she said, “Where’s my apple?” So the day we launched, I made sure she got her apple. She handed it back and said, “Save it for me. I’ll eat it when I get back.”
do what you love, kids:
Jae Rhim Lee and Mike Ma, co-founders of the Infinity Burial Suit, met at the Hassno Plattner Institute of Design at Stanford University. Lee conceptualized the idea of a burial method that would help reconnect our bodies with the earth. She came up with the idea of an “Infinity Mushroom,” a fungus which would be able to “eat” her body and neutralize its toxins once she died. To test it out, she began “feeding” a group of mushrooms her hair, skin, and nails, and selected the ones that were able to best decompose them.
The Defense Department is set to announce it will allow new moms 12 weeks of maternity leave as part of its Force of the Future initiative, a doubling of the Army and Air Force policy of six weeks but cutting what’s now allowed for sailors and Marines.
Defense Secretary Ash Cater was set to announce the policy change at Thursday afternoon, along with spate of new initiatives designed to boost retention force-wide, especially among women.
HOW DID YOU GET ENGAGED WITHOUT HAVING HAD THIS CONVERSATION?
Dear Carolyn: We are engaged, and she has a ring. I have four indoor dogs, and they are Great Danes, well-behaved and more predictably glad to see me than “Alice” is. She says no wedding date until I have one dog or all outside.
Does it sound to you as if I need to take the pain and keep the dogs, or take the pain and yield to Alice? I’m 31, and Alice is 28.
This was a great profile of Diane Rehm (my unflagging politeness and desperate need for approval keeps me from ever being this kind of woman, but I LOVE this kind of woman):
“She’s very challenging. We had our first fight before I even got here,” says J.J. Yore, manager of WAMU-FM (88.5), a Washington NPR affiliate. Earlier this month, before she took a sabbatical for her thrice-yearly voice treatments, they had an hour-long dustup. Says her dear friend Mary Beth Busby, “You don’t ever ask Diane’s opinion if you don’t want it, because you’re going to get it.” Yet Rehm is celebrated for moderating civil discourse between often vehemently opposed guests.
I have the maturity of a 12 year old, and I laughed so hard at this I cried:
Janet Cremins (Physical Therapist): I’ve helped Navy SEALS get back on their feet after losing limbs in combat. I helped an NFL player come back from a torn ACL. I can honestly say that no one has ever worked harder in his or her recovery than Marilyn Manson. He was driven by something almost spiritual. It was inspiring. I am moved to tears right now just thinking about it.
Manson: I set a goal date in my mind. By March 30th I wanted that dick in my mouth. I stopped seeing my friends and family. It was Janet and I just constantly rehabbing in the pool. On the morning of the 30th, I had a final checkup with Dr. Foster.
SPEAKING of great profiles of cool women:
While the book didn’t really help (“You can learn the craft,” she says, “but it can’t make up for talent”), it did offer the kind of meet-cute that most New York women dread. On her subway ride home from work, a strange man noticed her stand-up guide and tried to make conversation, offering up the possibly dubious notion that he was, in fact, a comedian. He followed her after he got off the train and made a joke, when she got to her apartment building, that she’d need a subway token to get in. “He knew my building was formerly an SRO,” she says. The joke, at least, got her attention, and he asked her to do her routine for him. “He said, ‘Oh, you’re going to bomb,’” she says, but a combination of wide-eyed optimism and self-determination told her that the guy was wrong. The next night, at Stand Up NY, she showed up and expected a prime spot, only to learn from the booker that she was likely to get bumped. Her comedy benefactor showed up after all, though, and talked the booker into letting her go on—and she didn’t bomb after all. (When asked if the comedian is someone I’d know, Lazarus demurs, keeping the identity a secret. Every origin story, after all, needs a little mystery and magic.)
this is very sweet and wistful:
It all started off humbly enough. It was a forum dedicated to a band that came out of Glasgow in 1996, and the very first email, sent in 1997, set things in motion with a deceptively simple premise: “The Sinister mailing list was setup by Paul Mitchell in August 1997 to assist David Kitchen’s efforts to create information about the band Belle and Sebastian.”
Friend of The Toast Elon Green on the last years of Saul Bellow:
In the very last years of his life, when he was well into his eighties and his memory had more or less gone, Saul Bellow took great delight in uncomplicated pleasures. He liked to feed grapes to his daughter, Naomi Rose, arms draped around her. He’d play Bach on the recorder, the same melody again and again, as the six-year-old girl, whom everyone called Rosie, danced. “She’s so beautiful!” he’d say. “She’s such a little angel!” And night after night, Bellow and Rosie would watch The Lion King.
”Their strange interests matched in those last few years,” Janis Freedman-Bellow, his widow, said recently. “Those were the kinds of things that were eerily perfect, given how difficult the situation on the face of it was.”
Reeves, who lives in Missouri and flew out to California for the workshop, is missing her elbow in her left arm. She told Mic that she has three prosthetic prototypes, one of which she refers to as the Sun. She’s also a big fan of Rey, the new kickass female protagonist from Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
“She builds things, and I’m building things,” Jordan said.
And yet, in one respect, “The Little Mermaid” represented a backward step in the princess genre. For a film centered on a young woman, there’s an awful lot of talking by men. In fact, this was the first Disney princess movie in which the men significantly outspoke the women.
And it started a trend. The plot of “The Little Mermaid,” of course, involves Ariel literally losing her voice — but in the five Disney princess movies that followed, the women speak even less. On average in those films, men have three times as many lines as women.
A beautiful account of a very, very premature birth (EVERYONE LIVES, by the way, though everything is hard):
The day before my baby was born, I left work early for a last-minute doctor’s appointment. It was the first time a doctor uttered the term “pre-eclampsia” to me; I learned it was an autoimmune response to pregnancy that I’d heard of only once before when eclampsia, the advanced form of the disease, tragically killed Lady Sybil Crawley on the third season of Downton Abbey. In pre-eclampsia, the blood pressure starts to rise, and the only cure is giving birth. Eclampsia can lead to seizure, stroke, and death. The family doctor sent me home with a blood pressure monitor and instructions to call in the morning. When I contacted my OB-GYN the next morning and told him about my appointment with the other doctor, he said, “meet me at the hospital.” My mom drove me; I ate a yogurt in the car.
HOW IS RABBIT FUR COAT TEN YEARS OLD?
Joined by The Watson Twins, Rabbit Fur Coat was Lewis’ melancholy opus, dwelling in her own struggles with religion, stardom, loneliness and heartbreak. The crux of the album dealt with finding a way to love yourself despite your flaws, while questioning the values that were instilled in you and the choices you’ve made along the way. Rabbit Fur Coat was really a glimpse into the inner workings of Lewis’ head. Maybe it was her unabashed honesty on “Melt Your Heart” to admit her own regrets (“When you’re kissing someone who’s too much like you, it’s like kissing on the mirror/When you’re sleeping with someone who doesn’t get you, you’re going to hate yourself in the morning”), or her perspective of being a child star (“I became a hundred-thousand-dollar kid/When I was old enough to realize/Wiped the dust from my mother’s eyes/It’s all this for that rabbit fur coat”), but Lewis made her own experience growing up relatable to 16-year-old me.
As Lewis sang “You are what you love/But not what loves you back,” her lyrics revealed a light at the end of the tunnel. Despite fucked up childhoods, isolation and regrettable one-night stands, she realized that the most important thing to keep in mind was to love and appreciate herself, and she taught me to believe in myself. That belief is something that has stayed with me, and I’ve carried throughout my life and career.
Yes, AMCs Mad Men is my cosplay origin story and costume designer Janie Bryant was my Edna Mode.
There was no rhyme or reason for this choice other than the fact that I enjoyed Mad Men. This was early on in season 1, and Betty’s stoney, ice-queen of a character wasn’t winning me over personality-wise just yet. The only interest in vintage clothing I’d expressed to that point was a collection of eight American Girl Dolls and a foot-stomping insistence on being Josephine Baker for Halloween in the 5th grade. Betty was white, cold -looking, blonde, and blue eyed. I was Black, awkward, red-headed and wild haired while I grew out the effects of a consistent fifteen year relaxer and recent dye job, and an all around mess. In both style and appearance, Betty and I had a very “she’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers” dynamic. We were polar opposites, but, in a media landscape lacking diverse representation, I chose the woman who matched the ideal of western beauty standards and ran with it.
Definitely dump anyone who thinks “outdoor dogs” are a thing.
I can’t imagine making my dogs sleep outside. It’s cold sometimes and hot other times and oh god what if I used a doghouse and it *flooded*?
I feel bad when I make my dog sleep in his dog bed on the floor instead of my bed when it’s too hot in the summer. (Don’t worry – he jumps back up on the bed as soon as I’m asleep.)
Here’s the thing: I don’t particularly like dogs, nor do I ever want one (yes, feel free to hate me, but I was badly bitten in my early teens and I have the scar to prove it).
HOWEVER, when I was seriously dating a dude with a dog a few years ago, my attitude was, well, I guess I’ll have to get used to having her around/helping to care for her for the length of their natural lives. Dogs are living creatures. They don’t get kicked into the cold because they are inconvenient.
Heh. I am not a dog person, and I am also VERY allergic. I think the discussion I had with my now-husband about whether or not living without dogs would be a dealbreaker for him was WAY more important to me than the similar conversation about how he feels about kids. I heard him talk about a dog he used to have, and knew that I might be screwed, so we needed to clear the air ASAP!
And fuck those “outdoor horse” people too.
I just — I wouldn’t live with four great danes, or any dogs, which is why I wouldn’t actually date someone who owned or wanted to own dogs.
Unlike the guy who didn’t like cats, wanted to date me, so asked me how long my cats were likely to live. (STILL ALIVE.)
I also dated that guy! He asked me that when my then-cat was a 12-week old kitten. I was like ‘A lot longer than this relationship, probably’ and I was right.
I am sincerely shocked that this is a thing multiple people have encountered. Who are these monster men that are all casually like “hey, your beloved pet will die soon so you can start prioritizing meeeeee, right?” The fuck.
(STILL ALIVE.)
… you mean the cats, right? Because I WOULD BURY THAT GUY.
He was horrible on so many levels, so many. And we only met, like, 4 times.
A dog, yes. Maybe a couple if they were small enough and sufficiently well-behaved. But four Great Danes? They’d basically need their own house.
I think that’s going a little far. My relatives are farmers and their dogs sleep outside because they are guard dogs whose job it is to protect their livestock from wolves and coyotes. They still love their dogs and treat them well. :/
I agree, Farm dogs are a thing and awesome, if they are already farm dogs and protected/cared for in their own right. But outdoor dogs in the suburbs? -slash-asking someone to put their pet outside on condition of marriage? fuuucked up
Wait, what about being in the suburbs makes a dog less protected/cared for?
The outdoor dogs I’ve known in suburbs usually have a tiny pen on one side of the yard, and no one ever plays with them.
I am all for working dogs who work and live outside. But taking an indoor pet dog and suddenly making him an outside dog? No.
Yes – round where I live in the country there are a lot of outdoor dogs, very different from town outdoor dogs. The nighttime difference is that they all live happily together in the barn on a pile of sacks. The daytime difference is that they are out and about *with their owners* doing farm stuff, having an amazing amount of exercise. In my experience they are healthy and have wonderful coats. Leaving a dog alone outdoors all day in an urban pen is sad and bad.
If no one plays with the dog and leaves it in a tiny pen outside no one would play with the dog and they’d leave it in a tiny pen inside too.
Maybe! There’s one family in particular that comes to mind who has two outside dogs, in a pen, getting little attention, and a third inside dog who sits on the couch with them and eats off a plate and goes on trips. Who knows!
Again though this sounds like the causation is: fuck that dog -> out it goes not the reverse.
Could be. A dog outside will naturally get less attention than a dog inside though, since people just spend most of their time inside.
But really, if we are discussing the difference between a suburban outside dog and a working outside dog, the working dog will be spending much of its day running around, doing things, feeling important, and probably having dog friends to chill with. The suburban outside dog will spend almost all of its time in a small space with nothing to do. (The inside dog will be near its people while they are cooking, watching TV, possibly sleeping, and doing all those things that people do, which are almost all inside things.)
suburbs are inhospitable to life is what
there’s a reason humans in the suburbs do everything possible to minimize their actual contact with it, and leave the area entirely if they’re not going to be inside their house
This seems an appropriate place to link to this “dog goals” photo another Toastie retweeted last night: https://twitter.com/CUTEST_ANlMALS/status/6928884…
This. This is my life dream. This right here.
In lieu of a photo today, here is me singing “Dear Charlie Taters” to my potato
I swear I know more of the words than that usually I just forgot them because I got emotional.
Aaaah this link keeps redirecting me back to another open tab of today’s link roundup! Help! I must see this video!
Okay, I think I got it working in the comment below yours! Thanks for letting me know!
okay, let’s try this again
Aaaaaaaawww!! His little harmless dog nips are the cutest
OMG a moving potato!! And that is a perfect song to sing to your dog every night.
“we’ll chew and bite for you” A++++++++
I think that made me cry more than the actual Dear Theodosia song does. Charlie, you are the greatest treasure of the world.
If you thought this video would convince us he’s not a stuffed animal, sorry: now I just think he’s animatronic. He’s literally too perfect to be real.
NOPE. TOO CUTE.
This link just brings me back to the Link Roundup. Please fix. Would love to see singing to a potato.
I made another stab at it above!
Aw, so amazing. Thank you. I especially like the smile he gives when you sing “When you smile I fall apart.”
Oh, yes, Rabbit Fur Coat. So much yes. Now looking forward to my subway ride today! It’s been awhile.
Have the Watson twins done much else since? I loved how well they fit in with Jenny.
Yes. “Rabbit Fur Coat” and “You Are What You Love” still give me chills.
Look, I’m all for asking for more representation in films, and I think we should definitely criticize the defaulting to white, straight and male for any parts in a movie… but I’m not a big fan of reducing movies to numbers like that. To signal trends, sure. But to debate the merits of any given film? I mean, take The Little Mermaid: not only is she the lead, not only does the movie have a female primary villain, but the whole POINT of the movie is that it’s dangerous to let yourself be silenced.
I mean, sure: it would have been nice if not all the supporting animals were male. And sure: it’s a little weird that, like in so many Disney princess movies, her mom is conspicuously absent. But movies are about more than just dialogue, and statistics are an awfully reductive way of analyzing them.
Hm, I don’t agree. It’s not a good way to think about an individual film, sure, but when you look at a group of films together, it’s incredibly useful to see the trend. The same thing is true of the Bechdel test: an individual film passing or failing the Bechdel test doesn’t tell you much about how well it represents women, but when a simple conversation between two female characters about something other than a man is rare, that says a lot about how little and how badly female experience is represented in cinema.
Oh, but I agree about that! And in fairness, the researchers seem to look at overall trends, too. But the way the scores are presented as indicative of how “acceptable” a movie is – especially the way the article insists on showing the individual scores per movie – annoys me.
Heh, the dead/ineffectual/mysteriously absent mother has launched a thousand narratival ships. Can you even Dickens or Austen without her?
It’s true that Little Mermaid is an interesting in-between case. I think your point that Ariel’s not-speaking is a major part of the story is significant. And, like the earlier movies with more parity of male and female voices, it has a female villain. (Re: Sleeping Beauty: given that the characters are, iirc, Princess Aurora, the Evil Fairy, the Three Dippy Good Fairies, a bunch of animals that don’t talk, and a prince who basically just shows up at the end (right?), how do men manage to talk for 29% of the dialogue? I’m a lot more impressed by Snow White’s 50-50 split, given that there are only two female characters (Snow White and the Evil Queen) against a prince, a dozen dwarves (although only 11 of them talk?) and a huntsman.))
The big change to me that Little Mermaid kicked off, though, is having two or three sidekick anthropomorphic characters — who are almost always male (the article mentions this; the one exception I can think of is Beauty and the Beast, where the teapot, at least, is a female anthropomorphized sidekick, but she’s not nearly as important as the candlestick-butler. But has there been a single cute animal sidekick that talked and was a woman? I think that even in Cinderella, the only mice who really had speaking roles were dude-mice.) And then, in movies where there isn’t a female villain, you have practically no significant female characters other than the “princess.” (And I’m really surprised by Frozen (which I haven’t seen. I won’t disclose how few of these movies I’ve seen lest I loose all credibility as I pontificate here, though.) which was lauded for focusing on a relationship between sisters, wasn’t it? But even with two female protagonists, women only get about a third of the dialogue, it looks like.
I guess I do think that speaking is an important aspect of representation. It would be useful, though, to see it charted against screen-time: I suspect that female characters in Disney movies get way fewer words per how often they show up on screen than male ones do.
oh in Sleeping Beauty there’s a big scene where the two kings talk about marrying their kids off for like twenty minutes, that’s got to be where all the men speaking comes from.
Sleeping Beauty has the weirdest goddamn structure.
my recollection is also that the kings are, like, jumping on a bed or something when they do that?
Thats Cinderella I think. But definitely one of them has a scene of bed jumping royalty being concerned about marriage.
I think in Sleeping Beauty they talk about it in a banquet hall of sorts with an annoying lute player there?
Yeah, and they get super drunk while it happens. Kid me found that part incredibly boring but adult me thinks it hilarious.
STATING THE BLEEDIN’ OBVOUS KLAXON
I’ve got a 15-month-old girl, and it is SO DISAPPOINTING how many kids’ programmes follow the good old “being female counts as a characteristic” pattern. Two female characters out of six in In The Nightgarden. Three out of ten in Timmy Time. One in the Octonauts. WHY IS THIS SO HARD.
Check out The Backyardigans. They are so good. My kids are 7 and 11, the Backyardigans are about the only kids programming we all remember fondly. And the music is great for brain worms.
Aren’t there two in the Octonauts? The second researcher and the one who says “Cap” all the time? (Not that we watch this EVERY WEEKDAY MORNING or anything.)
Oh, possibly – we’ve only watched it a few times, so I don’t know all the characters in that yet (plenty of time…) Two isn’t much better, though!
I agree with your overall point, though both Beauty & the Beast and Cinderella had more female sidekicks than you remember. B&B had the wardrobe, the needlessly sexualized featherduster, AND the teapot (hooray Angela Lansbury, she may have made that movie for me); Cinderella had a lot of female talking mice doing stupidly gendered things like sewing. But they did talk! Sigh. It really is sad that even those examples aren’t really all that great.
I started a comment about the sewing mice in Cinderella, but realized they maybe weren’t great representation examples.
They are not. Alas.
oh, right, the feather duster! And I only remembered the pair of mice who had an adventure with the cat in the drawing room (?) and of whom one was comedy-fat (ugh) (?). It’s been a really long time since I watched either of these movies, but longer since I watched Cinderella.
Needlessly sexualized featherduster! What a great thing to remember on this Friday morning.
One of my favorite childhood films was The Great Mouse Detective (because I have always loved Sherlock Holmes), and I definitely had a WTF moment later on as I remembered the little sexualized mice doing a burlesque dance, including strip tease. Um.
WHAT. I do NOT remember that.
Behold, “Let Me Be Good To You!” https://youtu.be/e2IctxaCPqw
Not entirely sure what the animators/writers/creative team were thinking on that one.
Yes, there’s a burlesque scene with hard-drinking sailor mice! Ooh, I found it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2IctxaCPqw
The dancer mice wear garters and have cleavage and do line-kicks and WOW. And Watson-mouse gets roofied. :/
There’s an astonishing amount of adult content in old cartoons.
Oh man, I’d forgotten how exactly the pair was modeled on the Bruce/Rathbone movies.
“Leave the sewin’ to the women! You go get some trimmin’ and we’ll make a lovely dress for Cinderelly!”
I’m surprised about the Princess and the Frog. It actually had more than the usual 1 or 2 female characters (Tiana, her mom, her best friend and Mama Odie), how did they manage only 25% of the dialogue? But I guess it has the sidekick character problem you mention – the sidekicks are all male.
I’m friends with one of the researchers and she too is very confused why all the media reports of the work seem to have fixated on the little mermaid. They were more focused on the trends and developing a tool to look for trends. 😀
Perhaps I should have directed my annoyance at (social) science reporting instead of more broadly. It must be really annoying seeing people frame something you had very different ideas about.
This doesn’t defend the way Disney gives many more lines to male characters, but one defense of LITTLE MERMAID I read on tumblr that I liked is that Ariel giving up her voice is an act of defiance. She’s interested in the human world, but everybody under the sea, especially her father, expects and demands that she be a singer. Her voice is how others define her, it’s the role they try to make her fill. So, giving up her voice and joining the human world is her casting off the thing the fate she doesn’t want and becoming the person she wants to become (a land person).
That’s a fascinating theory! All in all I actually think The Little Mermaid is one of the more subversive Disneys.
Not as subversive as Mallory’s retelling, which will always be my favorite now.
I like that. Plus Ariel is by far the dominant partner in her courtship with Eric; they just run around doing everything she wants to do. It’s possible to take the business of voices so literally that it diminishes the importance of the things a voice is supposed to represent: agency, identity, authority. Ariel gets more of all those when she goes up on land. It’s not the most feminist film ever, and it’s very heteronormative, but you can recognize that and still treasure Ariel’s hard-won independence.
This conversation is great. I love The Little Mermaid (mostly because I know all the words to all the songs), but I have been reluctant to show it to my almost-5-year-old daughter because of the main-character-gets-the-guy-by-being-silent-and-beautiful dealie, so I really appreciate reading these alternate discussions/theories. Maybe I’ll dust it off one of these weekends and give it a try.
She gets the guy by saving his life! He shows no real romantic interest in Ariel until he realises that she’s the one who saved him.
It definitely reads more feminist and subversive with a close-watch as an adult, as the words in the songs generally show a different motivation than the actions of the characters on screen. For example, Ariel sings an entire song about how she wants to be on land, free from her constrictive home life, she wants to learn and explore and run! But Ursula makes it all about the boy she has a crush on.
She and Eric save each other multiple times. She doesn’t actually get him by being silent! Think how slowly their courtship went, precisely because she didn’t speak. I’m pretty sure they would have actually kissed way sooner if Eric knew what the heck she was thinking or could have told him she liked him.
Her formerly abusive, powerful, god-like father actually gives up all of his power and becomes “weak and pathetic” to help her, giving up his trident (symbol of power, virility, and one might argue patriarchy). Once he is restored, he acknowledges his daughter’s free will and agency and gives his blessing, not his permission, for them to be together. Good stuff in there, but things I had already learned about the world, gender, etc definitely blinded me to Ariel’s agency and roles when I watched it as a child.
A couple of years ago a friend of mine rented a karaoke room for her bachelorette party and requested that we sing Disney songs.
Someone put in “Part of Your World,” and when it came on we all sang it, about twenty women in their 30’s and 40’s, and HOLY SHIT did that song take on a resonance it never had before–it started to be about the journey of women into adulthood, becoming our real selves, somehow. It was a magical experience.
Sorry Osutein, I didn’t see this comment before so my comment down thread is redundant. I rewatched the old disney princess movies a few years ago through my feminist lenses and I was really surprised at how well Little Mermaid stood up, especially if you read it through the frame of an abuse survivor/subversion of patriarchy.
This is of course just more evidence for the need of a theatrical release Lilo & Stitch sequel (3? 4?) where Lilo, sick of the US governments shit foments rebellion and wins independence for Hawaii, gets elevated to symbolic royalty starts a space program with the help of Stitch and Kevin-McDonald-alien and brings Earth into the federation of worlds. We then have a NEW tv show where in various asteroids and moons the large dangerous travel times between them and the limited resources on them are analogs for Polynesia and each episode is a thinly veiled retelling of various myths/legends/historic events.
I know that Disney has a movie about a Polynesian princess in the works.
Disney Wiki says “the film will follow the journey of a spirited teenager named Moana as she sails the Pacific Ocean to complete her “ancestor’s quest”.
Who knows how thats going to go
Wait The Rock is voicing Maui
And I believe that Lin Manuel Miranda is writing some of the music!
He is! And they’ve cast a Hawaiian girl for Moana, which is something Lilo & Stitch didn’t do.
They had Tia Carrere as Nani, though! (This has nothing to do with relative merits of representation. I just really love Tia Carrere.)
Ooooh right I remember that now.
Won’t have water color backgrounds or Elvis though so I’m less optimistic than I could be.
Yeah, I was really excited about it, and then I saw the CGI/faux-3d and was hugely disappointed because it’s ugly. Looks like every other computer animated faux-3d thing out there and none of the charm of the concept art that had been released to drum up interest.
My favorite analysis of Lilo & Stitch was the incredibly convincing argument that it’s actually a treatise critiquing the Iraq War. (Dang it, I can’t find it right now on my tumblr, but let it be known it DOES exist.)
Would you like to see the LanguageLog take and comments from armchair and/or professional linguists: http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=23795
Dr Liberman makes a point that most of the articles about the paper focus on the nadir of the “Renaissance” period (ie: Little Mermaid) and don’t really mention that the “New Age” period shows an increase in words spoken. Also fewer gendered compliments based on appearance vs. skills/accomplishments.
Well when I looked at the first graph and saw that 90% of all the lines in Aladdin (aka the only Disney movie I’ve ever liked) were spoken by male characters, I was so sad because a) I realized how much sense that made given that Jasmine is the only female character (& how did I not realize that sooner), and b) it shows just how much Disney played into the hands of prevailing stereotypes about the Middle East when they made it.
yeah, I loved Aladdin growing up, but now it is the hardest movie for me to rewatch. There’s just so much of it that’s not…. good…..
I still love the songs, but yeah, Aladdin is both fairly racist and fairly sexist. I’m glad stuff like Lilo and Stitch (and hopefully Moana!) is around now for kids.
Right?! It’s so hard because as a kid I adored Jasmine because she was a princess that was like me!! Something I tried to cling to even harder when, in grade 3, kids kept telling me I looked more like Pocahontas which…………………………………………………….hoo boy.
I will fight to the DEATH over Little Mermaid’s subversiveness and awesomeness. I do think there is a very obvious case to be made that giving up her voice, in this instance, was a deliberate power move. Her voice is actively fetishized by her family and community when she clearly does not give any fucks about singing for an audience (see the creepy seashell song). She has been forced to perform when she’d rather be curating her own anthropological cave/museum. She doesn’t give up her voice for Eric, she gives it up for a chance to have adventures on land (See all the lyrics of Part of That World). And when you hear her say “I’ll never see my father or sisters again”, with the realization that this follows almost immediately after her abusive father trashed her room in a blind rage, one can interpret that as a very hopeful phrase (Seriously! Watch it! She doesn’t say it sadly! More of a dazed abuse survivor’s hope).
My personal belief is that she goes on to be a researcher/explorer/opens her own museum.
But sidekicks in Disney films often have way more dialogue than most of the other characters, and it does never cease to piss me off that they are all (for the most part) male. It’s not the % of dialogue, it’s the % of characters.
I’m trying to come up with a thoughtful response to the Tom Patton story. He’s from the town next door to where I grew up, and I’ve got nothing except *headdesk*. So much *headdesk*.
That’s not true. I’ve got “I hate that I’m not surprised by his attitude.”
And *headdesk*.
Ugh I heard about this on OSU’s NPR station this morning. I want to crush him.
Ugh I know this is my fault for being behind the times (I just started season 1 on MLK day), but Downton spoiler!!!
I’m sorry to say that I don’t think you have any protection from the spoiler statute of limitations in this case.
I want to read that Marilyn Manson story SO BAD but I am at work, this will have to wait until I get home, but hooooooooly shit.
And then I go to click the Elle link and that’s blocked at work, boo hiss. There’s some great stuff in particular this roundup!
It’s worth the wait, also you should make sure you have written your will first.
The final paragraph was my favorite part!
The best!
Same. I just laughed seeing the full URL as I hovered over it. I must remember this tonight!
THE MUSHROOM DEATH SUIT
SIGN ME UP
(Seriously, my book that’s coming out this spring is in part about being digested by mushrooms. I wonder if I could set up a reading with these guys.)
I remember reading (too lazy to look for it) an article about how composting dead humans is actually quite a bit harder than you might suppose. These tree coffins look cool but I don’t know if anyone’s actually tried to bury anyone in them: http://www.capsulamundi.it/en/
Same, I’m SO IN. I wonder if there are any edible species in there? I like the idea of my carbon being reused in another person. Like, my atoms would literally become part of the people I love, and I think that’s the best afterlife an atheist could as for.
Ooh, that’s a great question and one that I bet they would be really into answering!
Ok, so obviously the mushroom death suit is great and I want it, BUT I THINK YOU BURIED THE LEDE, THERE. A Toastie has a book coming out! What is it about? Other than people being digested by mushrooms.
Thanks for wanting to know! It’s a book of poems about being a robot, an animal, a witch, a fungus, and an old person, and about different kinds of power and helplessness. It has some spells in it, and it’s coming out with Horse Less Press (small poetry press) in March. My friend http://www.hollismickey.com/textiles/ is working on some beautiful cover art (it’s not up there yet, I just think Toasties will dig her work). I’ll tip more info into the open thread as it appears!
That sounds awesome.
Thank you! I feel good about it.
Awesome! I’m an associate editor for a tiny lit magazine that’s about the intersection of arts, culture and technology and we love robot poems! When your release date gets closer, maybe we can hook up and do a mini-review/video reading or something. 🙂
I would love that so much! What’s your magazine? publiclycomplex is my gmail address–if you want to send me a quick note I’ll follow up.
Speaking of robots and poems, you may know this already, but Margaret Rhee (http://www.nectarinedreams.com/) and Franny Choi (http://frannychoi.com/) have both done some terrific work along those lines. Can’t find direct links to specific poems right now but both are worth approaching.
whoo! I’ll drop you an e-mail this weekend. We’re Carbon Culture Review.
http://www.carbonculturereview.com/
Your book sounds SO COOL! Please let us know when it’s released!
Thank you so much! I will for sure.
It’s always nice when people with very punchable faces actually deserve to be punched.
(Tom Patton)
I had the same thought when I clicked on that article! SO PUNCHABLE.
That’s the first thing I thought when I read the article too. PUNCH HIM!
Smug prick. I’d punch him, no question.
I think he looks like a sloth which is sad because someone ought to be lovely if they look like a sloth.
MORE PUNCHABLE THAN PETE CAMPBELL
He’s the most punchable, its true
Seriously he looks EXACTLY how I picture someone who calls his oponent “Sweetie” to look like. SO PUNCHABLE
Feeling less guilty about the first word that came to mind when I saw that picture being “Backpfeifengesicht”.
Rabbit Fur Coat is and will forever be in my top eschelon of albums that Mean Something To Me
Marilyn Manson is such a creepy fucker. I heard all kinds of dirt from a friend of a friend who dated him and none of that article was surprising.
The end! His failure to anticipate the ultimate result of all his obsession and work!
I can’t believe you’re not spilling the dirt.
ok so I don’t blame you because it was written so well, but that article was def. a Humorous Work. no one actually surgically attached a bandana to axl rose’s head either, is what I’m saying
…can we prove that, tho? maks u think
Last night I dreamt I was shopping for a jumpsuit. I hold Mallory’s Twitter responsible for this. Get out of my head, Ortberg.
(Later on in the dream, I went to The Body Shop and peed on the floor. I’m not sure where that came from, unless subconsciously I’m still angry that they discontinued my favourite body butter 7 or so years ago.)
I dreamed Roll Up the Rim started a few days early. My dreams are just as boring as real life, not a jumpsuit to be found.
I gave up on Roll Up The Rim on the day I rolled up the rim of my hot chocolate to find that I had won a free coffee and they refused to give me a hot chocolate instead even though they were the same price. I can hold a grudge for a loooong time.
What??? That’s crap!!! I do that all the time at all different branches and I’ve never had a problem!!!! You must have gotten a crazed with power server or manager. Booooo.
I dreamed that I was running a candy stand, and all these asshole men kept trying to swipe money from my register while I was distracted caring for an abandoned child.
Basically the dream was a giant metaphor for the struggle under patriarchy.
I too dreamed about fighting the patriarchy- I dreamed I was making a movie about a basketball playing duck in the ’50s and the whole point was to say at the end that the story of the kid and the duck was the real-life story of the first girl to play on a boys’ basketball team and if you can buy into the idea of a duck playing in a boy’s sport then why the hell can’t you believe in girls and boys playing on the same team? There was also a strong B-plot about remodeling an Art Nouveau greenhouse.
*I* dreamed that I discovered a frozen garden full of dismembered dead bodies, then my detective partner fell from a tree and broke his leg while investigating a strange signal contraption the killer left behind to taunt us, then we went shopping for turquoise glittery nail polish. The lady at the shop who mixed the nail polish right there and then dripped some of it on my very expensive high heels.
I blame Mallory for this, too.
I like that at some point in the dream you went “Well this is getting heavy. Time to go shopping!”
And I don’t even like nail polish! It was all very confusing.
I’m glad this has turned into a what-I-dreamt-last-night thread because I dreamt I spent time alone in a room with The Ex and there was zero sexual tension, and that is not a dream I can tell anyone about IRL.
But that’s a great dream!
It was strange to wake up from, though. Like “what are YOU doing there?”
AUGH I just remembered that last night I dreamed that Kylo Ren was my boyfriend, and at first this was amusing (he hadn’t yet donned his black robes, instead wearing a…robin egg’s blue version), but then it got scary. O.O
I had R2D2 and BB8 with me, and I was struggling to get them out with me (of course I couldn’t leave them behind), but it was difficult and harrowing. Also there was a snowstorm outside, trapping us in.
You guys, I’m not even a Star Wars fan, I’ve just seen the movies and been steeped in the heavy dose of content these last few months.
I dreamed that I was trying to interview a deaf woman about a movie she made, set in her haunted mansion and based on her real experiences of living in the house. Except I was the only hearing person in the room and she and her friends kept laughing at me because my sign language was horribly childish, and I didn’t understand 80% of what she was saying to me.
Tom Patton is a gross asshole (also, some part of me suspects his opponent is also a gross asshole; she is running as a Republican).
The mushroom death suit looks fascinating – even better than my current idea, which was “just shove me in a cardboard box and put me under a tree somewhere”.
Nicole, you highlighted the first letter to Carolyn, but not the second? “I told my family I’d bring a meal, and then I got a bunch of pizzas and some salads. They improved the salads. This offended me.” It’s a Pawnee resident in the real world!
“Employee of the Month” sounds great. Apparently her guest list is “all of my favorite people.” I have no clue when I’ll next be in NYC, but it’ll definitely go on the list of things to do.
These youths, with their 3D printed protheses and their relentless, delightful optimism. I love them all.
I kept imagining the sister-in-law writing a letter instead!
Dear Carolyn,
My husband and I host family get-togethers at our home and take a lot of pride in the beautiful meals we prepare for everybody. As our daughters have gotten older, they have begun helping us with the preparation and it’s one of our favorite traditions. It’s a bit labor-intensive, but we really do enjoy it.
This year, my sister-in-law contacted us and said that since we go to the trouble of hosting every time, she would like to contribute by providing the meal this time. Even though we don’t at all mind cooking, we thought this was a very nice gesture and accepted.
Then the day of the gathering, she shows up with a stack of fucking Domino’s pizzas, a bag of mixed greens and some ranch dressing. I was way too embarrassed on her behalf to serve this shit to our family so I tried to at least salvage the salad and make it look like somebody actually gave a crap when they put it together, and she acted as though I had taken a dump on top of it. Am I wrong to be offended that she seems to think pizza and salad is an acceptable replacement for a lovingly home-cooked meal? I don’t want to be petty but that shit really rustles my jimmies.
And the correct response, of course, would have been, “No, that was a dick thing to do and you should totally be angry.”
I feel like I keep need to rereading this forever. Like what. Why would you bring pizzas (not even pizzas you half heartedly made!) And listeria ridden salad kits!
Giggling helplessly at this, particularly “that shit really rustles my jimmies.” Don’t know if this is a genuine expression or if you brilliantly made it up — either way, I’m stealing it.
Not even “some salads!” Salad kit! Also….I hope it wasn’t two pizzas and one salad kit for 15 people? Because that is not nearly enough food!!!!!!! Am I just a glutton?
No, 15 people demand more pizza than that. There’s a distinct chance that LW is a monster.
as your local representative for Monster Union 666, i can assure you this person is not one of ours. we at Monster Union 666 do not endorse nor support the underpizzafication of any event, private or public.
People not ordering enough pizza is a fast track to rage for me. I go on big extended family vacations that typically have around 20 people, the vast majority fully grown adults. My grandpa is still in the food planning mindset of ten years ago, when over half the group was kids, and when he puts himself of ordering pizza, I put myself in charge of figuring out what else there is to eat, because I am MAYBE getting two slices.
I would say, one pizza for every two adults, or for every three little kids, or for each teenager. Better to have leftovers than hungry guests.
YES. My Jewish mother mantra is: Always better to have too much food than too little.
There is no such thing as too much pizza.
Plus then you have pizza later when the teenagers have digested and are looking for a refill.
Such a very important thing to consider.
Also who doesn’t love cold/barely-nuked pizza for breakfast the next day?
I like that better than hot pizza, honestly. (With some extra oregano and red pepper flakes on top. The perfect breakfast!)
Are you Devon Banks?
(My sister also prefers cold pizza, but that is a less entertaining comparison.)
(gravelly voice) Maybe I aaaaaaaam…
YES YES. And two or three more vegetarian pizzas than you think you’ll need, because the omnivores scarf up all the mushroom-black olive and us vegetarians are left picking off pieces of sausage and pepperoni from the other pies.
Yes, but also enough pepperoni pizza! I am kind of a pizza traditionalist and would prefer just pepperoni and cheese (maybe olives) on my pizza and it really chaps my hide when you’re ordering with a group and people want all these fancy weird pizzas and so you order one pepperoni and like five fancy ones and then everybody just eats all the goddamn pepperoni immediately and you have tons of the other stuff left.
I just want everyone to be real about how much pepperoni they intend to consume so that we can order enough!
omg the Manson piece. Reading it on my phone bc work, but it’s giving me such a needed laugh.
I remember going to college and one time the rumor came up with a group of friends originally from all different parts of the country, and we were all just like “oh man I remember just 100% accepting that rumor as the truth” except the NYC private school kids who were like “what kind of messed up schools did you go to that that was part of the folklore?”
OMG, the MANSON PIECE.
Everything about it was perfect except for the fact that I didn’t particularly like having a dick in my mouth. Oh, and I came in my own mouth which was not great. I guess I hadn’t really thought that part through.
DYING. Apparetly Nicole is nt the only 12 year old here.
Same! I can’t get over that part! What did he imagine would happen?!?
Ok, I wan’t really interested in reading this but now I kind of am.
I had always assumed that every single middle schooler in America was required by law to have been told that. I’m almost surprised it’s not a routine question on standardized tests for the eighth grade curriculum.
High school for me, but yes.
The fact that every former public school student of a certain age knows this story suggests that schools should look into the benefits of a rumor-based curriculum.
What kind of messed up schools did they go to that it wasn’t?
“what kind of messed up schools did you go to”
I got a similar horrified reaction once, when I told someone about how we read “Equus” out loud in one of my 10th grade classes.
My brother did Equus for his Drama A Level! My mother went with him to see it in London.
I had to sneak around to go see our brother school’s production. Worth it!
I know this is a lot to ask, but if we could have a picture of Sansa lolling about as above on waves that would be pretty magical. ty for your consideration.
Make Alice sleep outside and keep the dogs
“Twelve weeks is extremely generous … it puts us in the very top tiers of American employers,” Carter said.
Twelve weeks is not generous. It is “barely getting by” in the tier of, oh, I don’t know, MOST OTHER COUNTRIES. As I remember from a John Oliver sketch, the US and Papua New Guinea are the two countries in the world where paid time off for new mothers is not a thing for all women. Absolutely mindboggling, every time I come across something like this again.
I came here to yell about that, too! It’s a real WTF to see the DoD being less progressive than the Marines, too.
I have a French friend with two kids, and through various finagling, she was able to have her old position held for her for SEVEN YEARS. I think only two years of that were paid, but still.
I had only worked for my employer for 5.5 months when my son was born and I realized that they totally could have fired me for having a baby. I was grateful that my boss allowed me to take an unpaid 12 week maternity leave and keep my position, and yet mad as heck that I should have to be grateful for that.
I’m glad for your friend but I can’t imagine how a company plans for that long of a leave, and also how do their subordinates plan for it. I just have no clue how it would work.
I currently work for an employer that offer 18 weeks paid maternity/4 weeks paid paternity which is amazing and I love it, but right now of the 27 attorneys (associates and partners) in my area 8 are out on mat. or pat. leave right now and it is actually tricky. There’s no such thing as temp. biglaw so the rest of us are just picking it up, and holding on until they’re back. And of course the partner who is out is holding up decisions on promotions and hiring and stuff.
I’m so glad we have it and that they are taking it but how would it work for a much longer leave. Especially assuming that the company didn’t know that she would be out for 7 years at beginning, it was an ongoing thing
Dude, there has to be better planning/delegating for those maternity/paternity leaves! Especially for decisions like hiring and promotions! That just seems like it could have been better handled.
I think in most jobs, it’s not impossible (as in forbidden) to get temp help. I’d look at countries with generous leave policies, like Canada, to see how they prepare for and handle those absences. Because I do think it’s a matter of a cultural shift — once you accept it as the norm, you’re going to build processes so it doesn’t hurt your coworkers.
27 attorneys out of how many, I have to ask? That seems like a huge number.
Hundreds and hundreds, i’m in the main office of an int’l biglaw firm. our area is actually pretty niche which is part of the problem, we can’t grab that much help from other areas.
Just like in many offices, you can get around the missing person for most things but certain things require sign off by certain people or all the people at a certain level. In this case it’s a legal partnership agreement requirement that we can’t around through delegating.
Argh, that’s frustrating. :/ But lol, I should have known lawyers would be pickier than most about delegation rules.
Yeah, since Canada has 1 year paid mat leave (paid in part by the government), the large majority of companies/organizations hire a temporary person for the job. The average leave is long enough that it’s worth hiring someone for, and it’s a really common way for people just out of school to get in to the work force.
See! WHAT A GREAT SYSTEM. If (fingers crossed) Hillary becomes president, we’ll have a real push for mandatory maternity leave (again, fingers crossed) — I’m going to have a hard time not straight-up clocking anyone who shrieks that it’s just not possible, it’ll kill businesses, etc. etc.
I’m finding it really weird to hear that fixed-term maternity cover posts aren’t a thing in the US! In the UK it’s definitely normal to see jobs advertised that are explicitly to find someone to cover for a person on maternity leave.
Yeah, because in the U.S., women are pressured to return to work as quickly as possible (if they’re given any options at all), and there’s no system for dealing with maternity leave, because it’s not even widely accepted as a thing.
Not just for people getting their first role: it’s a great way for people to get a next-step-up for a short period right through your career. It’s also a good way for organisations to try out a new employee on a fixed-term contract (or an existing employee in a higher-level role) and hopefully keep them on if it works out well. My maternity cover is now a permanent member of our team, and I’ve another friend who’s jumped about three grades by getting a couple of really good maternity-cover posts.
You still get people moaning about how terribly expensive it is, of course – but in s well-managed company, it’s a lot cheaper than just not hiring women or having them all leave when they want to have kids.
Man, what a boost that would be to employment. And what a way to try out entry-level jobs in a field/industry you find interesting. That hadn’t even occurred to me and now I feel silly.
In the UK, at least, it’s extremely common to see advertisements for one-year maternity cover positions. I would guess that Canada probably has something similar, in terms of temporary cover.
Technically speaking, the Pregnancy Discrimination Act prohibits firing an employee solely because she’s pregnant or had a baby. But of course in at-will states, they can attribute it to literally anything else and don’t need to prove shit, so yeah.
There has to be a huge cultural shift where we don’t penalize women from the start (such as in making hiring or professional development decisions) because they might have children.
*deep breath, rant approaching*
Okay FIRST OF ALL, damn fucking right you should be in the top tiers of American employers, YOU ARE THE ARMED FUCKING FORCES THESE PEOPLE ARE DEVOTING THEIR LIVES TO THIS COUNTRY THIS IS NOT JUST WALMART OR WHATEVER JESUS CHRIST.
Second, twelve weeks is not extremely generous, and two weeks of “non-continuous” (wtf?) paternity leave is some serious bullshit, especially for gay couples.
YES it’s better than NOTHING, but stop patting yourself on the back Ash Carter for being so benevolent to parents who serve our country for granting them a basic human right like spending time recovering from childbirth/caring for a fucking newborn.
Bottom line, nothing is going to change until there is some serious executive direction in this area – but when half of this country is dedicated to the needs of businesses over parents and also thinks mothers shouldn’t work anyway if they really loved their children, we’re fucked.
Fuck.
I read somewhere that the paternity leave issue is much more complicated, because it’s not a medical concern, and so then becomes a pay/benefits issue, and thus has to go through congress and… so that’s the end of that discussion. (I could be misunderstanding the intricacies here, though.)
I see your point but… it’s still a better deal than most US workers will get from their private employers. Most of us don’t have the option of picking up and moving to another country with better maternity leave policies. (I’ve never worked anywhere with a maternity leave policy this generous, and I’ve worked at at least one “Top Employer for Moms” or whatever.)
The aim of this policy is to reduce the number of women who leave the military in their mid-20s. I suspect that it will be effective. And there’s also the “well, the Army’s doing it” effect — if you can point to a fairly small-c conservative organization like the military and say, “they have paid maternity leave, why doesn’t [giant corporation]?” — people will listen. Since, for better or for worse (and personally, I think it’s a mixed bag), the military is one of the most respected institutions in our culture. The perfect is the enemy of the good, you know?
It’s always fun to explain this to the Dutch, who just assume that there’s you know…something.
I think most Europeans assume that? We’ve an Irish friend in the US who adopted a kid and then got pregnant, and had literally no leave because she’d effectively had two kids within a 12 month period. WTF WTF WTF.
OMG Rabbit Fur Coat. I did not need to start my morning with that factlet.
Yay for JR and Mike Ma. I knew Mike in college and I’m so happy to see what he’s accomplished since then. The success of nice people is reassuring.
That Betty Draper cosplay piece was amazing. Maybe it’s just my fragile emotional state talking, but the last paragraph really made me tear up. So good.
Don’t worry I did too. It’s the perfect storm of cosplay, fashion and Mad Men.
yeah, me too. :’)
Moa also enjoys to be photographed like one of our French girls.
Calvin wants in, too
ADDITIONAL PINK BEANS
My harbls, let me show you them.
Cats are all about the boudoir poses. We could learn something from how they lurv their bodies.
And how they approach physical affection- when they’re interested they come and get it. When they’re not, but you are they’ll let you try to convince them, but if that doesn’t work they make it clear that that’s not happening right now.
Hobbes is very polite when he’s had enough petting. He’ll just gently push your hand away with one of his front paws. And I always respect his wishes.
how u doin’
This thread is exactly what I needed today. Bless you all and your wonderful pets.
#drawmelikeonofyourfrenchgirls is truly the best tag on instagram, because it’s almost all photos like this. What a gift Titanic gave us.
The Washington Post Disney article doesn’t say whether they counted the songs as “dialogue,” and that’s reeeeeeally bothering me.
Oooh. They really need to clarify that.
Methodology is everything.
I found the answer!
Carmen said,
January 27, 2016 @ 6:54 pm
Thanks Mark! Being mentioned on language log was on my bucket list. 😉 Looks like we may be on CBS morning news on Friday. My 15 minutes lol. FYI we did not include songs in the word count, but will be looking at them separately.
Whoa, thanks for finding that. That. . . seems like sort of a big caveat there, although maybe my guestimates are wrong. I bet it really skews the Frozen data, though.
Wow, yes, that’s a HUGE caveat. It’s probably not going to make as much of a difference as I’m hoping, but still. I’m very glad they’re looking into the songs separately and await their data eagerly. …And kind of want to do this research myself instead of waiting.
I kind of want to forward that article about DoD’s military maternity leave policy to my boss, but I also kind of don’t want to?
I work at a company that contracts for the DoD, and we currently get 12 weeks unpaid leave, per FMLA. We also have a whopping 10 female employees out of 100+, so it’s not exactly a high priority for them to offer more maternity leave. I want a better maternity leave policy, and this seems like a decent data point that would push my company, which prides itself on offering competitive benefits, to a more comprehensive maternity leave policy (and one that maybe included paternity leave), but I’m also a little scared about rocking the boat too much and signaling that I’m trying to get pregnant before I actually get pregnant.
Ugh, stupid women in tech problems.
I’m also in tech and I literally don’t know what our maternity leave policy is. It’s not in the handbook or on the benefits page of our intranet and there are no other women in my department for me to ask. We don’t even have a real HR department, just a lady in accounting who deals with paperwork, so I guess I could ask her, but I don’t want word to get around. I’m currently at least a couple years from even thinking about kids, but I’m fat so I’m paranoid that rumors will kick up that I’m pregnant. I just want to know!
So 12 weeks unpaid is literally the bare minimum. And you can apply for short-term disability (which gives 60% of your paycheck for 6 weeks if you have a natural birth, 8 weeks if you have a c-section, and requires a whole mess of paperwork). If it’s not written out anywhere, that’s probably your company’s policy.
Not necessarily. Any company with less than 50 employees in your location doesn’t have to give you 12 minutes of maternity leave, much less 12 weeks. And your company has to offer short-term disability for that to be an option. (My small company offers six weeks unpaid, and there is no short-term disability.) If you have more than 50 employees, you are covered by FMLA, and can take up to twelve weeks unpaid without being fired.
Okay, that’s even worse than I thought. Thanks for the clarification.
Short-term disability laws also vary by state (in terms of what’s considered a covered disability).
“If you have more than 50 employees, you are covered by FMLA, and can take up to twelve weeks unpaid without being fired.”
…if you’ve been working at that company full-time for at least a year. Except that if you’re too senior, and if you get paid more than 90% of the other employees at your location, they’re not required to give you the same position, or even an equivalent one with the same pay, on the other side. Oh, and if your spouse works at the same company, your employer can make you split the twelve weeks between you. USA! USA! USA!
(Sorry, the fucked-uppedness of FMLA is something I know far too much about.)
Ah, yes, of course there are more conditions! I don’t know that much about it because it offers me no protections whatsoever.
Looks like some states do have slightly more tolerable laws about leave though: http://www.ncsl.org/research/labor-and-employment…
Also disability insurance pays you a portion of your paycheck
a) after subtracting all your accrued sick time and vacation time
b) up to a certain cap
Therefore I believe I got $650 total from that for a 12 week leave though my salary is three figures. Like all insurance companies, they know how to come out ahead. Like all attempts to avoid giving women paid leave, it sucks.
I work for a subcontractor on a DoD contract too so just pulled up my employee handbook to check and, yup, it’s 12 weeks unpaid leave per FMLA for me too.
I am suddenly very grateful that I’m not currently planning on getting pregnant because I legitimately could not afford to go unpaid in this job for twelve weeks and still manage to pay my rent. So . . . that’s not ideal. If I were to get pregnant right now, I’d probably end up taking the minimum amount of time possible, I guess?
Thankfully, I’m not looking to have kids for a few years yet, but.
I have no idea how most people do it–much less single parents, people without family nearby to watch kids, people who can’t work from home, people without savings–it boggles my mind. Plus after you’re done eeking by during the 12 weeks you have the joy of paying for daycare which has skyrocketed. Where I used to live in Colorado it was $1200 a month and I think it’s even worse on the east coast. I’m constantly amazed at how people manage to not go bankrupt any time they have a child.
Yep, I’m on the east coast in the DC area, and I have heard from coworkers how much daycare in my area costs and I just . . . don’t know how people afford that. I just want to stare at them in a daze and go, “But that’s more than the whole monthly rent on my apartment . . .”
So I have no idea how people actually manage to have kids. Speaking as a person with no savings and no family nearby that I’d trust kids with all day and not a work-from-home kinda job.
Boggles the mind.
I would love to have kids, but realized I can’t because my student loans preclude paying for daycare. So…… that sucks.
Wowzers, we go to the “nice” daycare for $750 a month! Everyone move to some mediocre middle areas of the country, you can afford some things here!
I live in the Rust Belt, but even here we have a daycare shortage (with huge waiting lists) and it’s quite expensive– especially for full-time infant care.
Look at it the other way – if there aren’t many women, then offering better maternity leave is more feasible. I work with an organisation that is about 95% women, in the UK where it’s not unusual for people to take a full year of maternity leave (you get statutory maternity pay for 39 weeks). Turns out you can TOTALLY COPE in this scenario, btw, but if they were starting with 12 weeks leave and suddenly had to implement the much more generous policy they have now, it would be a big challenge given that they have to think pretty strategically about it. Your employer would experience hardly any short-term impact in giving you maternity pay for 12 weeks!
Why is this woman even dating someone with FOUR DOGS if she doesn’t like them?? You see, I’m definitely not a dog person (apart from looking at pictures of cute toast-dogs), and I either wouldn’t date someone with dogs or, if this person means a lot to me, I would try to overcome my dislike. But I certainly wouldn’t make them lose the dogs, because, hello, it’s me who has a problem and not them.
The sheer number of people who will date/get engaged to/marry someone who’s “basically great, except for this one massive issue that renders us completely, obviously incompatible” is shockingly high.
It is…perplexing when it’s stuff like pets and money, but I am in a state of total bafflement when the issue is one person wanting children and one not. That just seems like it should be the automatic, number one instant deal-breaker that you do not fuck around with, but then I read advice columns full of people so sure that their partner will change their minds and my brain comes to a grinding halt. You want to make a whole new person with someone who is reluctant??? No. No no no no. Do not do that!
I am attending (and possibly-maybe officiating at) a wedding next year where the fiance is a pro-life small-government Rubio-fan Republican and the fiancee is a Planned-Parenthood-volunteering, dyed-in-the-wool Democrat. I guess some people…make it work? Somehow? But I really don’t understand it, and I couldn’t do it.
It sounds like this wedding is going to have some amazing toasts, please livetweet it
So, my husband is a “moderate” Republican, although at the moment he calls himself a man without a party since the GOP is so crazy, and I am a dyed in the wool, Democrat, and we . . . make it work. Part of it is that we are so compatible in every other way, and part of it is that we are on our 2nd marriage (me) and 3rd marriage (him) and have realized that other stuff is really more important. We both tend to tell each other stupid things that the other party has done. We have had to make an agreement that we just won’t talk about politics right now until after the 2016 elections, so we are just avoiding that topic. Oh, and he has also said that if Trump gets the nomination, he will vote for Hillary. Anyway, my point is that it is possible to make it work.
If some dude told me he was pro-life I would never fuck him again.
It’s not exactly something that you can compromise on! Like, a kid either Is or Is Not, there is not a middle ground! I can compromise on paint colors and places to live and whether to plant onions or roses, but a kid? NOOOOPE
Have a kid but only send it to boarding schools.
Do they make boarding pre-Ks?
“You were saying? To the wet towel wielding survivor of 15 years of boarding school locker rooms?” “Wait, 15?!” “Or whatever. The normal number.” “12?”
We’re repeatedly told by media/society that you can “train” or “mold” a spouse into your ideal even though that is utter nonsense. I always think of the one Simpsons episode where Marge tries to tell Lisa this and Lisa points out that Marge hasn’t successfully “trained” or “changed” Homer at all.
It’s ingrained to the point that it’s almost expected. I mean, the boy does not care about how he dresses. At all. It’s all jeans (many of them with holes in them) and faded T-shirts. It was that way when we got together, and it’s still the way it is. But you have NO IDEA how often I’m asked why I don’t “do something about it”. It’s been suggested that I could just sneakily throw away some of his most worn down clothing, for example. My sister has asked me if I’m not ashamed walking next to him.
My answer? He’s a grown man, he can decide himself how he wants to dress. Plus: if I’d cared about walking next to a well-dressed man, why would I have fallen for him?
I have straight-up had conversations with adults about men I know where they lament that the guy “needs a girlfriend/wife” to mature/professionalize him and I’m just standing there like “Why the fuck is it HER problem? Why can’t he pull his OWN shit together?”
“He’s a whole new person!”
“Um, Mom?”
“He’s.A.Whole.New.Person, Lisa.”
“Oh, yeah.”
Crap, you beat me to it!
I think it’s worse than that: we’re told that we’re obligated to change some dude, and that we’re supposed to keep giving them second, third, fourth chances. Because what are women here for if not to help some dudes?
If he’s not perfect yet, it’s because you’re a bad wife! Try harder to train him.
Even now, in an age where women supposedly have their own careers/lives, SO MANY people still think in terms of the man’s life/career having priority. It is HER responsibility to pull his ass up, to professionalize him, to make sure he gets somewhere in life. SHE constantly has to sacrifice and work to make HIS lumpy ass into something worthwhile. And so often the women end up feeling like they have no choice because, of course, the odds are in favor of him making more money so his job being “more important” especially if they have kids.
On the flip side, just had a breakup because he for some reason thought that I should and would change how I dress (which is fine and suits me, btw) and my personality (introversion is inferior apparently). Actual quote: “you’re such a diamond in the rough.” I’m a diamond, motherfucker. Full stop. See you never.
“I’m a diamond, DON’T THINK I WON’T CUT YOU.”
Ooh I wish I’d thought of that. Next time…
I get so annoyed when I read books with a wife (/girlfriend) character who has ALL THE AMBITION and a husband (/boyfriend) character who just wants to hang out and be chill, and the wife pushes all of her ambition onto her husband. Like, no–if you want to be famous or have a political career or something, you go do it yourself, or at least find a man who wants you to be his campaign manager. Why is this a thing?
(Sorry, I know that rant is only tangentially related to your comment.)
Hi. Currently in one of those. (I am reluctant, he is not) You make it work. It isn’t like future children are an every day topic of conversation, especially since neither of us are at the point where we would be actively seeking children. He just knows he wants them and I just know I can’t guarantee that and probably wont, and so we cast our lots in together for the meantime.
My guess is that a lot of couples do this. Just an example of how situations like that may arise.
We are aware that it might be a deal breaker in the future, but that doesn’t negate the pleasure we derive from each other now.
Life is a rich tapestry, no?
Yes, I think it really depends on where you are in life. If you meet someone, and either one of you have a goal of “birth a child in the next year” while the other one is dead set against it, THAT is a dealbreaker. But if it’s not a priority to pave the way for in the imminent future, why not enjoy your life together based on your compatible chemistry?
I can see that, but I personally wouldn’t want to get emotionally invested in a serious relationship where I thought we would probably break up down the road. For me, it would always be in the back of my mind.
(Especially at my age, since I’m already 35 and that would likely preclude me from meeting anyone who *does* want kids before my junk goes bad).
So much this!
Right now, most of my married peers have been married at least a decade. Not everyone has the same opinions and feelings on even BIG issues like progeny, over The Long Haul. I know couples that started out not wanting kids, wanting kids, and even that started out on different pages of The Kid Wanting Book.
From what I’ve observed, the important thing is communicating about it. Some couples can get back onto the same page. Sometimes it does wind up being the ultimate dealbreaker – and not necessarily terrible or a failure; having getting married be The Right Thing to do, and then getting divorced be The Right Thing, can exist on the same timeline! Sometimes putting “dealbreaker” on the table winds up with the other partner re-evaluating their position, and coming up with a plan that works. Always in motion, the future is.
It’s when one partner has CLOSET expectations of changing the other partner, that shit goes sideways!
I was desperately looking a few months ago to find and talk to a couple who disagreed about kids, yet making it work, because I was in a couple who started out monogamous, one party of which really wanted polyamory. We have since then run into the limits of our ability to cope and broken up.
There are some things it is *really* hard to compromise on.
I just had to counsel a friend who was considering rekindling an on again off again relationship with one of our other friends “except I want kids and she doesn’t” that THAT IS A SUPER BIG PROBLEM AND IGNORING THAT IS WHY YOU GUYS HAVE BROKEN UP FOUR TIMES IN THREE YEARS.
So…yeah.
And these are Great Danes!!! Those are each the size of small humans! Bigger than kids! I love dogs and I couldn’t handle that. This issue would come up within 5 minutes of being around the dogs.
What kind of house can you put 4 Great Danes in
Midwestern houses? This is why I keep telling people they should consider the inner Midwest more: you can basically live in a palace in Des Moines on a salary of, like, $30k/year.
GOOD POINT, I now have some delightful headcanons about this guy and his large house, it’s a crumbling English manor house, he’s the last (and somewhat eccentric) son in a prestigious (but now mostly broke) lineage. “Alice” would make an advantageous marriage, certainly for her family’s modest fortune, also because all his well-meaning aunts worry about him rattling around there all alone but for the dogs and the servants. He mentions the ring because it’s an heirloom. He mentions their ages because it’s a cursed heirloom, and if it’s not given to a True Love by age 40 the curse is triggered. And he sends the letter to an American columnist none of his peers would deign to read so he can air his misgivings about “Alice” being the True Love anonymously.
PLZ TO WRITE MOAR
Tell me about the manor. How eccentric are the aunts? What about the servants? Any darkly handsome/strikingly beautiful peasants nearby?
The cook is darkly, broodingly handsome and it’s possible that much of Alice’s critical nature is due to the fact that her food always arrives slightly cold or oversalted while the LW’s is perfect. “If you don’t like it, give it to the dogs,” he says (the table is far too big for a sole couple to eat at, so the dogs are not only allowed but encouraged to hang around during meals). LW has yet to notice the cook’s longing glances from the kitchen, but Alice has certainly noticed his tendency to be sharpening the knives whenever she comes in for a fresh bottle of sherry.
…I am so happy right now.
What’s your A03 username? I will bookmark immediately
Are the dogs already cursed? Are the dogs, in fact, the PAST heirs of the line who failed to find a love before 40, doomed to remain in dog form until they break the curse upon their house, and dog/past heir #1 really thought at least ONE of them would have managed by now and is getting very tired of this whole thing?
AND ALICE WANTS TO PUT THEM OUTSIDE?
The dogs and the LW can’t TELL Alice that the dogs are people, of course, because of the curse. Alice herself has always longed only for a cozy, two-room cottage in the country, where she can live alone with her cats and pursue her dream of developing new strains of hybrid roses. She met LW because one of the eccentric aunts is a botanist.
I would definitely read this book and/or watch this movie/tv show.
if she wanted her tiny cottage life so badly, she shouldn’t have gotten engaged to LW. she’s in this situation by no one’s fault but her own. the dogs were here long before she arrived and they will remain long after.
i hrmph at thee, alice. HRMPH!
The dogs are actually previous fiancees who didn’t live up to the Family’s exacting standards. Alice is disturbed by their evident jealousy, but can’t quite put her finger on why they seem so … human about it. Sure, lots of people insist on letting their dogs sleep with them, but something about this seems a bit off. RUN, ALICE! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!
Pretty sure with four danes, you don’t need any furniture.
My parents’ Great Dane ate all of their pine furniture, as well as a pair of speakers.
I have no idea why this is making me laugh as hard as it does.
🙂
She also liked to eat bananas off the top of the fridge.
Yeah, right! I not only dislike dogs, but am actually scared of most dogs, and four Great Danes would be a nightmare for me, I imagine. Has this woman never been to her fiancé’s house or why didn’t she bring this up before??
Is it really that much of a mystery?
She’s trying to control him. Next it’ll be his hobbies that have to go, then his family, then his house…
TBH, I love dogs, but that’s a SHIT TONNE OF DOGS.
Literally. Have you ever tried to clean a yard where 1 large dog lives? So much poop…
My pug loved Great Danes. There was a group who met at our dog park, with names like Thor and Zeuss. Calvin would seek them out and play crazy running games, streaking around and under them at top speed! They would bend waaaay down and sniff noses and butts (he couldn’t participate in the latter, sadly). Once, we met a gorgeous black Dane away from the others, and Calvin romanced his ankle.
I also love dogs SO MUCH and Great Danes are amazing. But yeah, I wouldn’t long-term date a guy with four of them. I would, however, want to be one of his best friends and come over and pet the doggies and pretend I am a Queen and they are my four brothers who were ungrateful and I turned them to dogs (I am also a witch) and now they are my doggie protectors with better personalities than when they were human.
I can kinda see it if she had never lived with a dog before and thought they were fine from a distance, but the reality of actually living with 4 Great Danes ended up being too much. But she should have either dumped him when she realized this or talked to him about it before they got engaged…
I didn’t realize the Marilyn Manson article was fiction until about 1/3 of the way through. I have Friday Morning Brain.
The Rush Limbaugh quote was what did it for me.
Yeah, the tone for Rush wasn’t remotely similar to his actual one.
Ditto. Was with it until the part about sewing a bandana to Axl Rose and then I was like oh, this is probably not real.
Yep that was my point, but only because I read it as “banana”
Ahhhhhh! I feel silly for my above comments. In my defense, I’m still in bed and have only had half a cup of coffee. Whoops.
I accepted the premise all the way through Calista Flockheart’s fingers and Bruce Springsteen forever-soulpatch.
http://www.npr.org/sections/13.7/2016/01/28/46467… Awesome eagle-huntess teen girl
Lots of opinions this morning, so I’ll be succinct:
Governor Snyder: You are an evil dick.
Senate Majority Leader Tom Patton: You are an embarrassment to the twenty-first century.
Infinity Burial Suit: Didn’t they read ‘The Girl With All the Gifts’? Don’t mess with fungi!
Department of Defense: It amazes me, in this century, that the needs of at least 50% of the population are treated as ‘Special Interests’.
Marilyn Manson: I’ll bet it’s not as fun as you imagined.
Are there any lawyers here in the Toast-tariot? Is it actually feasible to indict Snyder? I’m not actually clear on what he could be charged for, just that he should be in jail.
I am Jon Snow about criminal law and what it takes to charge a government official. But as to the civil aspect, I would bet that there’s enough there to overcome governmental immunity in a lawsuit. And suing the pants off of him would be satisfying as hell.
I feel like poetry could be a good response to all this fuckery. Just, you know, if you felt like it. Not that I miss your poems or anything. *looks down, toes dirt, runs away*
Thanks, but I made a decision not to post poetry on The Toast. If you like, you may read my work at https://scriggler.com/Profile/keith_welch
I respect your privacy. But if you don’t mind sharing, I’d like to know your reason for this decision.
It’s not a big deal. A few people objected to something I wrote. I had to decide whether to be apologetic or insulted.
I decided that it was better to move to a new venue rather than censor myself. I don’t blame anyone. You can’t please everyone.
Manson:
“I guess I hadn’t really thought that part through”
DEAD
DEADER THAN DEADEST
COULDN’T POSSIBLY BE ANY DEADER
IT DEADDED ME SO HARD
GOODBYE
So many delights in that Manson piece. But I think my favourite aside may be how the surgeon permanently installed Bruce Springsteen’s soul patch. I needed a good laugh.
“Wait is this a movie about Russel Crowe sucking his own dick” was my favorite partly because I can totally see Hollywood (circa Beautiful Mind) greenlighting that movie.
Isn’t that basically the plot of every Russell Crowe movie?
you can tell this is not the best of all possible universes because when a guy starts to say “hey sweetie,” a bunch of bees do not fly into his mouth
Thank you, I didn’t know how much I needed that this morning.
In my grad school program in theater management there is a first-year required course on leadership and decision-making. Each year, students read a Harvard Business School case about a car-racing outfit that needs to decide whether to race one day given some questionable-but-not-so-bad weather and equipment-related conditions. Then the class votes on whether or not to race. The bottom line: the case is a mirror of the Challenger explosion, and nearly everyone leaves class that day knowing they voted to kill people.
Theater management is not for the weak.
do you possibly have a link to that article? I’d be really interested to see it.
I don’t, but it’s called the Carter Racing Study if that helps.
My sister is a theater manager. I need to send her your comment. It is so fucking true–she worked for a while on cavalia. Acrobats with horses and a flooding “stage”. Carousel numbers that flew. Nah, nothing dangerous or deadly in theater, naahh..
O the mixtapes I have made containing ‘Melt Your Heart.’
Relevant to interests of Toasties–Bodleian released a printable coloring book! http://www.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/__data/assets/pdf_fi…
delighted shrieks
FABULOUS
As soon as I am reunited with my printer, I am ON THIS.
Ahhh Rabbit Fur Coat turning 10 makes me feel older than any Buzzfeed “things you may remember from the ’90s” listicle. Still one of my favourite albums. One of my goals in life is to see Jenny Lewis live, which is challenging because she never seems to come to Canada!
The superhero girl with the glitter bomb prosthesis is awesome. Just look at her defiant “yes, I got glitter everywhere, and I’ll do it again” face.
That dogs letter is such a perfect example of completely burying the lede and yet still somehow communicating it perfectly.
Dogs are sentient, feeling beings people! We, as a species, have manipulated and manipulated and manipulated them to be loving, loyal, forgiving, helpful human companions and you DO NOT make them stay outside in perpetuity. I am hangry and outraged.
Well, except that generations of working dogs lived outside. I understand that it may not be ok for some breeds which have been bred more recently and probably aren’t as hardy as older breeds,and I also doubt that you can take a dog that’s used to living indoors and turn it into an outdoor dog,but I find it hard to believe that living outside is a terrible hardship for all dogs everywhere? Surely it’s been the norm for most dogs since they became dogs?
“Outside” working dogs tended to be robust shaggy breeds, or outside was a barn with a lot of other animals or a pile of other dogs (huskies). Great Danes are big sighthounds–I have a little sighthound and I know, those are skinny dogs with not much hair and not much fat. They are not weatherproof.
Sure, and if these dogs are already dogs who are used to being indoor, I don’t think you can change them into outdoor dogs. I just don’t agree with the idea that “outdoor dogs” per se are a thing that should never happen!
Well, working dogs (in my experience – rancher relatives) usually have a pretty awesome life. They hang out outside, they dig little burrows for themselves and their buds, they run around and are as active as shit! It’s a very far cry from the life of a dog chained up in the backyards of suburbia. (I have a mutt that’s a cold-hardy, working-ish breed and if he were an outside dog without a pack of at least 2 other dogs his heart would break into a million pieces.)
Working dogs are different than outdoor dogs. I come from farming country and most people who own dogs no longer use them on the farm except as “watchdogs” which basically means they run around outside with no training, eat carrion off the roads, and get shot by neighbours who are mad when they sniff around their barns/property. I worked at a small rural school and I was in tears when all the kids were telling the “our dog got shot” or “we shot the neighbour’s dog because it was eating our chickens” stories. Dogs need companionship, running wild in the countryside is not the same as walking or playing with humans. That’s not the point of dogs. That’s the point of wolves.
My parents’ new neighbors have an “outdoor” German Shepherd that lives in a small fenced area in their yard and barks sadly at other passing dogs. When I was home for Christmas I thought about liberating/appropriating him.
If the dog lives in an area that gets dangerously cold, call an authority about him.
“Authority” in my area, on this issue = former co-worker who now leads dog rescue. She visits people who keep their pets outdoors and talks them into surrendering them to her rescue. She also buys worn-out breeder dogs from the Amish by posing as someone who is going to sell them to animal research facilities, and finds them safe and loving homes. She is my hero.
Wait, would the Amish not give up the dogs if they think they’re going to safe and loving homes? I’m so confused.
I think saying “I will find them a loving home” implies, to the owner, that they are not loving, and no villain sees themselves that way. Saying “I will sell this dog to a research facility” implies that the owner is surely a savvy businessman, and naturally they do like to see themselves that way.
The Amish are using these dogs as breeders for puppy mills, probably. Puppy mill breeding dogs are business expenditures that will be maintained at minimum cost until their usefulness is gone, as are many Amish horses and veal calves. They don’t care what happens to the old breeders so long as they can sell them for a profit, and anyone who uses the phrase “loving home” is likely to be an undercover ASPCA worker trying to bust the puppy mill.
Thankfully my aunt, who loves animals more than anyone I’ve ever met, and spearheads the county Humane Society’s volunteer force, also lives on my parents’ street. She’s been keeping a close eye out for anything that could count as abuse and allow her to take the dog.
Oh god–some 20 years ago I lived next to a woman who kept her dog chained 24 hours a day in a paved yard with one wimpy tree to provide shade. The dog barked non-stop. Nearly all the neighbors on the block complained to the Authorities, all of us hoping the dog would be taken away and get a better home. No–the owner was informed of the complaints, SO SHE HAD THE DOG’S VOCAL CORDS CUT!!! And to top it off, the dog was soon “barking” again, only now it was a horrible, hoarse, tortured rasp (emanating, btw, from just outside my window.) We tried to have the owner up for animal cruelty, but at the time, what she was doing was legal. What a nightmare.
oh noooo 🙁
Oh my god 🙁
That’s horrifying. How on earth was it legal?
My landlord has two dogs that he keeps in his kitchen because he doesn’t want them messing up the house. Once or twice a day he lets them into his small fenced patio area to poop. I am very sad about them and how horrible their lives must be, and I feel horrible when they come over to the fence for affection that they’re clearly not getting anywhere else.
That is really sad. 🙁 It’s sad how much room for misery there is between what counts as abuse and an actual good life.
Also the other day I was walking my dog and we passed a parked car that had to belong to a hoarder – it was so full of trash that I’m not sure it would even be possible to drive. In among all the junk was a little dog chained to the front seat, barking its head off. The possible owner of the car was sitting on the sidewalk panhandling a block away, with two other little dogs. Heartbreaking on all fronts.
In Australia you can report dogs left in cars to the police who will break in and get them out because of the risk of heat stress. Same with one of the roadside assistance companies, regardless of if you are a member.
Among my ex!boss’s many many failings as both an employer and a human being, he lived above the shop and kept his elderly border collies in the store as well. Two 14-year old border collies, suddenly spending the vast majority of their time behind the counter (we had a firescreen across the gap in the counter so they couldn’t jump up on customers). He’d shut them in the back room when they got worked up, and then when they got out and one of them got super-excited, he’d put her back in the storeroom. I still feel guilty about not trying to do more for those dogs when he was still there with them. I took them on walks on my lunch break, and gave them treats when he wasn’t paying attention, but it was terrible.
(One of them has since been adopted, and the other is spending the rest of her days on a farm with several other dogs and a few rescue horses.)
When I lived in a house, we were between two houses with dogs in fenced-in backyards for a while, and the dogs would bark at each other incessantly… until someone got the idea to drape sheets over one of the fences. Problem solved.
Oh, the Challenger oral history… I read the whole thing and it was heartwrenching. I remember it happening- I was a third grader and we watched the launch in our school library- but I understand it on a different level now that I’m an adult. My kid is very, very interested in space and space exploration, and know a lot more about astronaut training and shuttles than I used to so reading these accounts and thinking about the people who were knowledgeable at the time of the accident witnessing it was just devastating. The programs emphasizing education that have emerged as the astronauts’ legacy are awesome, but bittersweet.
The McNair Scholars bit made me weep.
And my god, I am SO fucking angry at NASA after reading that. Fast food workers get fired for cutting corners. That they knew about the issues and were still allowed to continue infuriates me.
Agreed: that was a tough read, but a good one. I remember watching the launch in school, and how quickly the room full of students fell silent when we realized that something had gone wrong.
The Rogers Commission Report is online if you want to really examine all of your feels about NASA: http://history.nasa.gov/rogersrep/genindex.htm
I was in first grade. My teacher was recording the launch because it was happening while we were at lunch. We got back from lunch and she was crying. I was really into being an astronaut at the time, and it didn’t dissuade me, because I was so young, I think.
In any case I didn’t make it through the whole article before I had to stop reading.
Okay though the dog question was something can we take a moment and look at the second question. With the woman and her pizzas???
I can’t even.
THANK YOU. That is the real question here. (We’ve been discussing it downthread; our consensus so far is WAT NO)
And a “salad kit”!
When I started dating current bf I straight up said “and if you and my cat don’t get along you’re the one that leaves because she has seniority.” Fortunately he and the cat get along well and he respected my priorities. You shouldn’t go proposing to people who don’t like your pets.
I…. I cannot tell if that Marilyn Manson article is truth or satire but I laughed the whole way through it.
It has to be satire because Rush Limbaugh has never said a sentence on the record with fewer than three exclamation points in it.
My dogs are excellent judges of character. After a warm-up period of careful observation, they always ask every guest in my home for their attention. Once, they did not. I warned Mr Rose that particular coworker of his was going to be trouble, not to trust him. Not 3 weeks later, the dogs’ instincts were proved correct.
If those ridiculous quotes from a “surgeon” weren’t in there I would have been 100% convinced it was real.
You shouldn’t go proposing to people who don’t like your pets.
Truth.
I knew it was going to work out with my partner because I left my cat with her for a month while I went to Europe (like a jerk), and she liked him so much (and vice versa) that she adopted her own cat. Eight years later, we have a lovely blended cat-family of four felines.
When my ex first came to visit, he brought excellent catnip toys. We stayed together 10 years, and never was there a dispute about pets.
I got my precious pup shortly after I started dating, and he drove me home from the place I got her through a blizzard so I could snuggle her all the way and she wouldn’t be as afraid. In early days I would often eavesdrop/peek around corners to watch him interact with her when I wasn’t in sight as a test of both his honestly, gentleness, and genuine affection of her.
Readers, I married him.
Old Men at DOD: “If we give women more maternity leave those sluts will just keep having babies willy-nilly just to get time off on our dime”
Always remember, women are just defective humans to these people. And they’ve spent the last 40 years being enculturated into thinking that citizenship is like a buffet where they can pick and choose who gets to eat, rather than a banquet where everyone is invited.
I love (well, not love, but you know) that there are men who actually believe that this is how childbearing decisions are made.
I suppose Snyder’s not so uncommon a name, but I can’t believe I haven’t seen anyone make this connection yet: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ca/b4/6…
Fingers crossed for death by demonic snake!
I needed this this morning, thank you kindly.
:DDD
I enjoy that the LW with the dogs feels the need to specify that not only are they engaged but that “she has a ring.”
CAN”T GO BACK NOW her finger will fall off if you try to take it back and then she will HAUNT YOU FOREVER!
It’s a real, proper engagement! The ring proves it!
So the only reason I can think of for the Snyder administration’s actions as they stand is just fucking straight up genocide? It wasn’t to save money, since they turned down the discounted Detroit water. They knew it was poison that they sure as fuck wouldn’t drink themselves. So what the FUCK. I keep hearing “for political reasons” – what were those? Was there any other reason than “Mostly poor and mostly black people should have brain damaged children?” (I’m in a state where the governor is talking about an emergency take over of my city’s public school system so this is all hitting pretty close to home.) ALSO I want Snyder in prison for LIFE and all of his money to go to the people whose lives he has actually ruined, and the families of the people he has actually killed. Is there any chance this will happen? Sorry for the all caps and profuse swears.
This is an appropriate occasion for all caps and profuse swears.
Listen up, jerks! Zouks coming to Brooklyn Nine Nine!
http://www.ew.com/article/2016/01/25/brooklyn-nin…
Zoooooouuuuuks
I’M SEEING HAMILTON TOMORROW!!!
Also, this part in the Lazarus article made me scream:
“He followed her after he got off the train and made a joke, when she got to her apartment building, that she’d need a subway token to get in.”
Just yesterday a friend of a friend on Facebook was complaining how everyone on public transit were zombies stuck to their phones instead of reaching out for human contact. I was like, “Dude, I do that on purpose. I do not *want* human contact on public transit.”
Oh goodness, me neither! When I commuted via bus I just wanted to read but I was surrounded my chatty people who wanted to talk about my book or the fact that my gloves had pandas on them or really anything and it was so annoying.
“Dude, I do that on purpose. I do not *want* human contact on public transit.”
Yes, thank you, this. I put my headphones on and stare into my phone because this 6:30 AM Red Line car that reeks of piss and is full of sleepy, grumpy people begrudgingly going to work is not a place where I will or want to make a genuine human connection with someone. (Also, I once had an older woman actually chew me out on a Purple Line stop for looking at my phone. She was complaining about how no one today wants to make conversation on the train.)
“I once had an older woman actually chew me out on a Purple Line stop for looking at my phone.”
I would be hard pressed not to drop a verbal atom bomb on her.
I had taken my headphones off when I noticed she was saying something to me (this was a fucking rookie mistake, my only excuse is that I had only been in Chicago for a few months and I had only been riding the trains on a daily basis for a few weeks), so I just put them back on midsentence and looked back down at the game on my phone. Just cranked my millenialism up to 11 until she walked away in a huff.
My trademark has become, “Stop talking to me. Do NOT talk to me.” Granted, I only pull it out in situations where it feels safe to do so, but it works really well when I do. People are not used to that kind of bluntness, and it throws them off their stride.
When did people ever want to make conversation on the train?
YAY HAMILTON. I’m going tonight!!!
OK, seriously I firmly believe in the unspoken code of a silent commute. Even if I bump into friends everyone understands, this is not the time. This is not the time.
SERIOUSLY. Any time sometime tries to make a ~connection~ with me on the train it is usually for a bad reason.
I’m reading “Watching the English” right now (just moved to London, and it’s seriously helping me cope, as well as being very entertaining), and I’m in the chapter on public transit and how it is the rule that you must pretend that no one else exists, and perhaps even that you yourself do not exist either. The author at first was like, “wait, but you might commute with the same people for YEARS and you just ignore them?” and then it’s explained that if you start even nodding, that might progress to conversation, and then you would have to talk to them EVERY. DAY. So best that none of you appear to exist at all. I am coming to love this country, I tell you.
I thought that story was going to end very badly.
I met Diane Rehm in one of the most low-key possible situations (came to my school for a talk, agreed to drop in on a class that I had that was relevant) and she was still SO INTENSE. Like, walked in and asked the room, “Ok, what is the purpose of this?”
Oh man, now that I’m thinking about it, I’m not even sure The Little Mermaid passed the Bechdel test–Ariel’s conversation with Ursula is essentially about a man and how to get him, after all. I do remember reading a thinkpiece before about how odd it was that so few Disney princesses had substantial female friendships
That is such a good point.
Love love love the Belle and Sebastian email list piece. I got into their music probably 15 years too late for any of that, but it just feels very fitting for their music to have a warm and weird community like that. It’s so lovely to hear about things on the internet that aren’t terrible for a change.
Imma let you finish, mushrooms, but freeze-dried and vibrated to powder is the coolest burial of all time–of all time.
Cool! I have also heard good things about alkaline hydrolysis.
Highly recommended for efficient body disposal and destruction of pesky evidence. (or so I hear…)
You guys, I think I like Megyn Kelly more than I ought. (But remember how she destroyed that dude one time on the validity of maternity leave and how America is a disgrace in their lack of such policy! And, and, her new look at the debate last night made me swoon a little, in a very shallow way. And Fox’s refusal to ditch her to appease Trump is the only time I’ve ever been happy with them.)
In other news — please see the digital Ham4Ham from a couple days ago, which is behind-the-scenes footage of Lin-Manuel’s guest appearance in Les Mis as LOUD HAILER.
Omg, as he said: “This is way harder than performing Hamilton. I wrote the words to Hamilton, I know those.”
This is the only time I’ve ever seen such uniformly positive YouTube comments. As someone said, “how can one person be so freaking adorable all the time.” He actually tears up right before his second part, as Gavroche dies, and my job may be utterly depressing right now, but I’m just so glad there’s someone out there with so much talent who’s getting paid to do what he loves.
You know, I have a friend who is often a token liberal commentator on Fox, so I have decided that I can’t really paint all the people at that network (or any other) with one brush, much as I’d like to. I still reserve the right to mightily judge their audiences.
Am I not correct in remembering that Nip/Tuck had a character with that fictional-Manson-esque capability, played by Misha Collins?
rib removal or autofellation?
cause there’s already autofellation running around the internet.
The latter. As I recall, he couldn’t get anything else done with his life.
Pretty sure he wanted a dick reduction so he could stop sucking his own dick, which kind of struck me as unrealistic. Being able to get your dick sucked constantly might be great, but having to suck a dick constantly would get real old real fast.
An acquaintance swore husband did it all the time.
I SAW JENNY LEWIS AND THE WATSON TWINS PERFORM RABBIT FUR COAT IN ITS ENTIRETY LAST NIGHT. IN A HUGE CATHEDRAL. AND M. WARD WAS THE OPENER.
Let’s just say it gave me a lot of feels.
Frankly, I am disappointed in you all that this was not posted from Hannibal before now:
#Fannibals, my ass. . .
I have literally only seen two episodes, a few days ago, and this was one of them, and I cannot believe nobody mentioned this until this comment.
Last night I learned I have Exploding Head Syndrome because it happened to me twice! Sounded like a screen door slammed shut or maybe a cap gun went off. Then I posted about it on facebook with the article below and a whole bunch of friends were like, WAIT, I have this, too!
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/01…
Dick sucking!!
a) one of the guys on my MA in creative writing course wrote a really wistful, lovely story about a boy who could suck himself off.
1) I’m pretty sure this statement applies to every creative writing course ever
2) He was gay, so the having a dick in his mouth part was part of the fun
b) I’ve been married to Mr Daki for 22 years, and in all that time, reading at least 200 books per year plus innumerable stories, this piece and a novel I started this month (Paul Murray’s The Mark and The Void) are the first ones where I’ve ever seen our surname in fiction. It’s not a weird name, but the version without the ‘s’ at the end is way more common, so it’s very weird to see it in bold in the link roundup.
Aw, Kendra Pettis was a freshman at Oberlin when I was a senior, so I don’t think we ever interacted, but I loved reading this piece! (And I definitely remember “guy who vomited beets on the library steps for art” guy, though I remember that piece of art taking place in the middle of the lawn/walking path before said library).
This was a very interesting meditation on pulling from the external to uncover the internal, and i would have loved to read ut either way, but getting to imagine it all at Oberlin (I also loved that vintage store! I got these kickass 60s sweaters and pleated skirts) makes this an awesome morning for me 🙂
The dog advice reminds me of a peculiar situation happening in my family right now- my uncle has become engaged to a woman- yay! But this woman is *extremely* allergic to dogs and he has a wonderful one who’s been with him for around 12 years- so now the family is just quietly wondering if they’re waiting a while to move in together until the dog’s passing (his life expectancy averages a couple years from now) or…what.
A dog, yes. Maybe a couple if they were small enough and sufficiently well-behaved. But four Great Danes? They'd basically need their own house.
Feeling less guilty about the first word that came to mind when I saw that picture being "Backpfeifengesicht".
When I lived in a house, we were between two houses with dogs in fenced-in backyards for a while, and the dogs would bark at each other incessantly… until someone got the idea to drape sheets over one of the fences. Problem solved.
– If you want to “reconnect [your body] with the earth”, just stick it in the ground without embalming (which is a waste of money and chemicals anyway, since it only delays decay). The amount of heavy metals in your body should be negligible, unless you’re dying of heavy metal poisoning, and I have no idea what “toxins” they’re talking about; it really just sounds like a bunch of woo from people who are squicked out by the idea of being eaten by worms.
– Still wondering how big of a house that guy with four Great Danes has.
– Diane Rehm is awesome.
– Not sure why, but for me, the funniest bit in the Marilyn Manson piece was about Calista Flockhart’s fingers. I just imagined her holding up first one hand, then the other, flexing her fingers slowly, then asking Harrison Ford to come into the room for a moment, and Ford slowly getting out of his chair, muttering, “I bet it’s the fucking finger thing again.”
– If you want to "reconnect [your body] with the earth", just stick it in the ground without embalming (which is a waste of money and chemicals anyway, since it only delays decay). The amount of heavy metals in your body should be negligible, unless you're dying of heavy metal poisoning, and I have no idea what "toxins" they're talking about; it really just sounds like a bunch of woo from people who are squicked out by the idea of being eaten by worms.
– Still wondering how big of a house that guy with four Great Danes has.
– Diane Rehm is awesome.
– Not sure why, but for me, the funniest bit in the Marilyn Manson piece was about Calista Flockhart's fingers. I just imagined her holding up first one hand, then the other, flexing her fingers slowly, then asking Harrison Ford to come into the room for a moment, and Ford slowly getting out of his chair, muttering, "I bet it's the fucking finger thing again."
wow, the premature birth one was heartwarming.