i ask myself this at least once a day. current dude is my Last Dude.
thewhelk+320
Heterosexuality was invented in 1876 by Austrian chemist George Dieter Hetrosexus while he was attempting to make a cheap alternative to rubber
queenofbithynia+83
only imagine if he had copyrighted it instead of patenting it. “Heterosexuality has been very good to us,” his descendants would say modestly as they reclined in their gold bathtubs. and they would be the only ones to ever say that, too.
GrandREvans+67
What is this “heterosexuality” of which you speak? It sounds perverse and unnatural. We should edify it as an abomination in our religious and societal moral codes.
Come, Martha, we must return to defending our egalitarian realm from the invading patriarchy.
#alternatehistory #ifonly
queenofbithynia+116
AEH: Heterosexuals? Who is responsible for this barbarity? Chamberlain: What’s wrong with it? AEH: It’s half Greek and half Latin!
#intentional misquoting is the primary cause of alternate timestreams
Ms__M+13
AHHHHHHHHHHH Invention of Love AHHHHHHHHHHHH <3 <3
grumblyqueer+204
Walking up to straight couples like, “so which one’s the femme daddy and which one’s the boi?”
Frumiosa+100
“I mean sure, I experimented in college…”
GlenH+26
Ooo, that sort of thing can ruin a career!
Hepzebah+90
Is…is that a painting of Mallory? On the right?
silverandsnow+21
THAT WAS MY FIRST THOUGHT TOO! Mallory, are you immortal?
Toft+30
The only sensible explanation is immortality – it can’t be time travel because the Ronbledore Effect is not present.
socordya+17
Why is this painting called the Apotheosis of Kaiser Wilhelms I ? (If my German skills aren’t failing me)
bighairnoheart+15
For a second I thought it said KISSS down there in the bottom.
theshehulkchef+118
I take great joy in telling people who inform me that my sexuality doesn’t exist (“bisexuals aren’t real, they just haven’t decided/are doing it for attention/are lying liars who lie”) that I don’t believe in straight people. (I do, for the record, believe in straight people – although I don’t for a minute believe the ones who pretend that they can’t tell if someone of their gender is attractive or not. You’re HETERO not BLIND.)
Simone Webb+22
I feel like there’s some unintentional ableism here – presumably blind people can find people attractive too? This seems to deny blind people sexuality in an iffy way.
theshehulkchef+38
Noted and apologies!
Hollis+65
“I’m a Mormon.”
“I’m a homosexual.”
“In my church, we don’t believe in homosexuals.”
“In my church, we don’t believe in Mormons.”
Unreadaethel+15
I only vaguely believe in monosexuality, period.
Strophoria+20
Yeah, I can’t say I really believe in straight people but I don’t exactly believe in gender either so it does sort of follow. Helping “straight” men realize that they’re bisexual is kind of my hobby. Its great fun & I suggest all male-attracted genderqueers give it a shot
Sienak+15
Ok except that I really am so gay that I truly have difficulty telling whether particular men are attractive or not. It’s just very weird to think of them that way, and I’m unclear on the basis for making that judgement – it’s very abstract to me. So I believe straight people when they say this.
trashofthething+15
Attraction is weird! I’m bi but experience attraction rarely, so when the attractiveness of a given person comes up in conversation (usually re: celebrities) I spend a lot of time going “well… they certainly have very symmetrical features… nice, clear skin, too…”
Helen_Damnation+10
The attractiveness requirements for men are much less defined. Society spends a lot less time telling us what an attractive man looks like, so there’s more subjectivity involved.
Social+23
I approve of all the lesbian content on this here website in recent weeks.
theshehulkchef+44
“recent weeks” I assume meaning “always”?
elfsmirk+135
*walks up to a heterosexual couple* So which one of you holds the mirror and which one of you holds the giant book?
Erica_Stratton+61
I definitely hold the giant book in all the relationships *I’ve* been in.
theshehulkchef+43
I carry the sword but I’m happy to trade off on the book and the mirror honestly. I don’t feel strongly about the book and the sword being with the same person – you do you, ya know?
daisymerolling+37
I read this in a Ben Wyatt voice and I have 0 regrets. “Pizza? Never heard of it!”
bookwormV+2
I was about to say the same thing. 🙂
mjr+11
Wait, that’s a giant book? I thought it was a small chest of some sort, perhaps a repurposed cigar box.
Teka Lynn+20
YESSSSSSSSSSS.
Hmm. What with the sword and the mirror, my Sailor Moon fanfic brain pegs them as past incarnations of Sailors Uranus and Neptune. What is heterosexuality indeed!
rox
i want to vote for this so many times.
PettyVengeanceFetish+13
*sits in a dark and smokey bar, a glass of whiskey in one hand and a half burned down cigarette in the other, taking a drag from the cigarette* Hetero-sex-uals
ScriptioPlena+11
I say, the garden’s looking quite heterosexual today.
That’s all, I’m done for the day.
Alternately, “Heterosexuality? Why?”
i ask myself this at least once a day. current dude is my Last Dude.
Heterosexuality was invented in 1876 by Austrian chemist George Dieter Hetrosexus while he was attempting to make a cheap alternative to rubber
only imagine if he had copyrighted it instead of patenting it. “Heterosexuality has been very good to us,” his descendants would say modestly as they reclined in their gold bathtubs. and they would be the only ones to ever say that, too.
What is this “heterosexuality” of which you speak? It sounds perverse and unnatural. We should edify it as an abomination in our religious and societal moral codes.
Come, Martha, we must return to defending our egalitarian realm from the invading patriarchy.
#alternatehistory #ifonly
AEH: Heterosexuals? Who is responsible for this barbarity?
Chamberlain: What’s wrong with it?
AEH: It’s half Greek and half Latin!
#intentional misquoting is the primary cause of alternate timestreams
AHHHHHHHHHHH Invention of Love AHHHHHHHHHHHH <3 <3
Walking up to straight couples like, “so which one’s the femme daddy and which one’s the boi?”
“I mean sure, I experimented in college…”
Ooo, that sort of thing can ruin a career!
Is…is that a painting of Mallory? On the right?
THAT WAS MY FIRST THOUGHT TOO! Mallory, are you immortal?
The only sensible explanation is immortality – it can’t be time travel because the Ronbledore Effect is not present.
Why is this painting called the Apotheosis of Kaiser Wilhelms I ?
(If my German skills aren’t failing me)
For a second I thought it said KISSS down there in the bottom.
I take great joy in telling people who inform me that my sexuality doesn’t exist (“bisexuals aren’t real, they just haven’t decided/are doing it for attention/are lying liars who lie”) that I don’t believe in straight people. (I do, for the record, believe in straight people – although I don’t for a minute believe the ones who pretend that they can’t tell if someone of their gender is attractive or not. You’re HETERO not BLIND.)
I feel like there’s some unintentional ableism here – presumably blind people can find people attractive too? This seems to deny blind people sexuality in an iffy way.
Noted and apologies!
“I’m a Mormon.”
“I’m a homosexual.”
“In my church, we don’t believe in homosexuals.”
“In my church, we don’t believe in Mormons.”
I only vaguely believe in monosexuality, period.
Yeah, I can’t say I really believe in straight people but I don’t exactly believe in gender either so it does sort of follow. Helping “straight” men realize that they’re bisexual is kind of my hobby. Its great fun & I suggest all male-attracted genderqueers give it a shot
Ok except that I really am so gay that I truly have difficulty telling whether particular men are attractive or not. It’s just very weird to think of them that way, and I’m unclear on the basis for making that judgement – it’s very abstract to me. So I believe straight people when they say this.
Attraction is weird! I’m bi but experience attraction rarely, so when the attractiveness of a given person comes up in conversation (usually re: celebrities) I spend a lot of time going “well… they certainly have very symmetrical features… nice, clear skin, too…”
The attractiveness requirements for men are much less defined. Society spends a lot less time telling us what an attractive man looks like, so there’s more subjectivity involved.
I approve of all the lesbian content on this here website in recent weeks.
“recent weeks” I assume meaning “always”?
*walks up to a heterosexual couple*
So which one of you holds the mirror and which one of you holds the giant book?
I definitely hold the giant book in all the relationships *I’ve* been in.
I carry the sword but I’m happy to trade off on the book and the mirror honestly. I don’t feel strongly about the book and the sword being with the same person – you do you, ya know?
I read this in a Ben Wyatt voice and I have 0 regrets.
“Pizza? Never heard of it!”
I was about to say the same thing. 🙂
Wait, that’s a giant book? I thought it was a small chest of some sort, perhaps a repurposed cigar box.
YESSSSSSSSSSS.
Hmm. What with the sword and the mirror, my Sailor Moon fanfic brain pegs them as past incarnations of Sailors Uranus and Neptune. What is heterosexuality indeed!
i want to vote for this so many times.
*sits in a dark and smokey bar, a glass of whiskey in one hand and a half burned down cigarette in the other, taking a drag from the cigarette* Hetero-sex-uals
I say, the garden’s looking quite heterosexual today.